what should i do?

[connie]

i'm 34. i was in a relationship with a wonderful guy for almost 3 years. i know he is my soulmate. i love him more than i've loved anyone ever. however, he did not commit to me because his parents did not approve of me. i come from a very conservative culture where family approval is considered very important. in addition to being very lonely, i really wanted to get married and have a family and so on, since i felt i wasn't getting any younger. and since my boyfriend/lover was not able to do that, i started seeing other guys. then i met this great guy, who swept me off my feet, and within a matter of weeks i got married to him. i truly thought that i was in love with him.

 

however, very soon after the marriage i realized that i was still madly in love with my ex. we have remained friends, and now my ex says that he wants to marry me b'coz he cannot live w/out me either. he wants us to get married despite his parents disapproval. both guys are absolutely great in every way-kind, caring,...they both have everything a girl could ask for. and both of them love me very much. although i care very much for my husband, i know i'm very deeply in love w/my ex. i do not have any family in the US. i have been very depressed and do not know what to do. i feel very guilty about hurting my husband, but i love my ex so much. i have not been unfaithful to my husband. i would appreciate any advice that might be of help.

[Hoggy]

i'm 34. i was in a relationship with a wonderful guy for almost 3 years. i know he is my soulmate. i love him more than i've loved anyone ever. however, he did not commit to me because his parents did not approve of me. i come from a very conservative culture where

 

If your not happy then nobody will be happy in the long run........ STOP make up your HEART and forget the rest. but what do i know seperated after 20 years. headed for reconcilition. goodluck

[ubaygirl]

If your not happy then nobody will be happy in the long run........ STOP make up your HEART and forget the rest. but what do i know seperated after 20 years. headed for reconcilition. goodluck

okay, i'm sorry, but if you have a good thing happening with your current husband, then, you should go with him. if your exlover never said that he wants to marry you, then, you would never be considering leaving your husband. i am only 17 years old. i have already had experience with this type of situation, and i was in your husband's shoes. you belong with your husband. your exlover will just have to find someone else

[Phil]

I'm only 18 but I know that if I was your husband, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who loved another person more. There is only enough room for one and it seems you really love this other guy. Maybe you got scared after devoting so much time to the first guy, and when he was gone you rushed into marriage. You have to follow your heart I think for true happiness, and there's nothing wrong with telling your husband you want to break up, I think. You haven't been unfaithful to him and you can't help your feelings, so I think as long as you explain the situation to him and separate before you do anything, I don't see what else you can do. You can't really stay with him just because you're married, when you've been with this other guy so are sure you love him most. If you hadn't rushed into the marriage, then maybe you could have been sure of your feelings and your situation, but you are married, and this is because of both you and your husband. He should understand this, your relationship was not at a strong stage when you got married. As for your parents or his, I think you have to live your own life as far as you and other people are concerned.

 

I think follow your heart but treat everyone with consideration and respect as you act,

 

Phil.