shook187 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 long story short. i was in a 5 year relationship from 06 to 11. my girlfriend was young 15-20 and i was 17-22. She told me all the things a guy never wants to hear. "I want to live up my 20's" blah blah blah. when in reterospect, all she wanted to do is see what else was out there, she had GIGS, i wasn't dumb, i knew this. she dated someone else for 2 weeks (mind you she grieved and got stronger for 8 weeks) so we were broken up just over 2 months. soon as she realised he wasn't me she turned up at my house and now its been just over a week and we're back to normal. now the point to this story is to give dumpee's hope, that the dumper does return WITH STRICT NO CONTACT. you gotta believe in your girl/boy. you know them better than anyone. I am however standoffish at this point with her, i'm actually surprised i took her back after her little stint with this guy, mind you i slept with a few girls while she was gone to better myself also. I always see threads about "does the dumper return" sometimes! thankyou for all your support, exit gave me great advice which helped me to better myself and be stronger. hopefully i can check in every now and again and tell you how its all going. Link to post Share on other sites
Geya Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Great for you! I wish ya all te best However I suggest you change the title of your thread, you might give hope to alot of those, hope that will only hurt them in the end and elongate their healing process Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Oh hope, you many headed hydra... time to re-sharpen my axe. Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't...it's one of those things no one should use to have hope. If it happens great, if not, well you're in the majority Link to post Share on other sites
Geya Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't...it's one of those things no one should use to have hope. If it happens great, if not, well you're in the majority I don't even think it's great if they come back, where'd the trust go , if they did it once they can do it again Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I don't even think it's great if they come back, where'd the trust go , if they did it once they can do it again I think it depends on the situation...I have seen through first hand experience (and other friends) where time apart did help things; I've seen people get married who had broken up at a time. The thing to be careful is to make sure (dont even know if it can be done) if the dumper is coming back because they realized they make a mistake or if they just want to be with someone and are waiting for something better to come along again. Now I'm definitely against the whole dating, breaking up and getting back together multiple times Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 long story short. i was in a 5 year relationship from 06 to 11. my girlfriend was young 15-20 and i was 17-22. She told me all the things a guy never wants to hear. "I want to live up my 20's" blah blah blah. when in reterospect, all she wanted to do is see what else was out there, she had GIGS, i wasn't dumb, i knew this. she dated someone else for 2 weeks (mind you she grieved and got stronger for 8 weeks) so we were broken up just over 2 months. soon as she realised he wasn't me she turned up at my house and now its been just over a week and we're back to normal. now the point to this story is to give dumpee's hope, that the dumper does return WITH STRICT NO CONTACT. you gotta believe in your girl/boy. you know them better than anyone. I am however standoffish at this point with her, i'm actually surprised i took her back after her little stint with this guy, mind you i slept with a few girls while she was gone to better myself also. I always see threads about "does the dumper return" sometimes! thankyou for all your support, exit gave me great advice which helped me to better myself and be stronger. hopefully i can check in every now and again and tell you how its all going. Thank you for coming back to share, shook! Hopefully yours is a case of love being lovelier the second time around. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 long story short. i was in a 5 year relationship from 06 to 11. my girlfriend was young 15-20 and i was 17-22. She told me all the things a guy never wants to hear. "I want to live up my 20's" blah blah blah. when in reterospect, all she wanted to do is see what else was out there, she had GIGS, i wasn't dumb, i knew this. she dated someone else for 2 weeks (mind you she grieved and got stronger for 8 weeks) so we were broken up just over 2 months. soon as she realised he wasn't me she turned up at my house and now its been just over a week and we're back to normal. now the point to this story is to give dumpee's hope, that the dumper does return WITH STRICT NO CONTACT. you gotta believe in your girl/boy. you know them better than anyone. I am however standoffish at this point with her, i'm actually surprised i took her back after her little stint with this guy, mind you i slept with a few girls while she was gone to better myself also. I always see threads about "does the dumper return" sometimes! thankyou for all your support, exit gave me great advice which helped me to better myself and be stronger. hopefully i can check in every now and again and tell you how its all going. Congrats on going NC and I'm glad things worked out in your favor. Thanks for coming back to share! Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 long story short. i was in a 5 year relationship from 06 to 11. my girlfriend was young 15-20 and i was 17-22. She told me all the things a guy never wants to hear. "I want to live up my 20's" blah blah blah. when in reterospect, all she wanted to do is see what else was out there, she had GIGS, i wasn't dumb, i knew this. she dated someone else for 2 weeks (mind you she grieved and got stronger for 8 weeks) so we were broken up just over 2 months. soon as she realised he wasn't me she turned up at my house and now its been just over a week and we're back to normal. now the point to this story is to give dumpee's hope, that the dumper does return WITH STRICT NO CONTACT. you gotta believe in your girl/boy. you know them better than anyone. I am however standoffish at this point with her, i'm actually surprised i took her back after her little stint with this guy, mind you i slept with a few girls while she was gone to better myself also. I always see threads about "does the dumper return" sometimes! thankyou for all your support, exit gave me great advice which helped me to better myself and be stronger. hopefully i can check in every now and again and tell you how its all going. I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION!!! The question is what was said between both parties when she came back. What did she say and what did you say? I would like to know exact details and once I get those, I will explain what my theory actually is. I am pretty sure thehurtprocess will agree with my theory as well if I am correct on what I am thinking as he has gone through the same thing Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 my girlfriend was young 15-20 and i was 17-22. I just hope that the GIGS doesn't return to haunt you when she hits 21. That might leave a mark. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Congrats on your success. Of course yeah still tread carefully and make her prove to you that she is there for the long run again, you've got nothing to prove to her. A second chance is like a moment for a quick celebration and then the realization that there is lots of work to be done. Best of luck, I hope you end up with a true success story. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I've done strict NC twice in my life and both times they left it unresolved and I never heard from them ever again. It doesn't always work. Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Oh hope, you many headed hydra... time to re-sharpen my axe. Heheh this made me giggle this morning. *thumbs up* OP, I understand that you are cloud 9 right now...but please be very, very cautious. The fact that she came back doesn't necessarily mean she's back for good. I'm not judging your situation and I wish you both the best. But just take it slow and be true to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
fauxleather Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Happy to hear that! All the best and cherish each other! Link to post Share on other sites
Crisis Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Yea man, I hope it works out. Not many on here see this happen. Just stay confident and don't fall into any traps. Keep you mind straight and make sure she KNOWS you can be fine without her. I would agree with changing the name on the tread. It might not help others in the healing process, but everyone one on here is VERY happy for you. It's funny cause your age range is exactly how me and my ex were ahahaha. She was 15 and I had just turned 18 (dated from 06' to '11) also. For me it's been 5 weeks since the BU and 3 1/2 weeks of NC. Here's my story, in case you want to compare lives lol. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t285713 Link to post Share on other sites
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