Stone Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 This is complicated but I'll try to make it short. My son is almost 4 and disabled, his father decided when he got sick that he would go do drugs instead of help me with our son and just left us in the hospital. ( this 2 years ago) since then I meet a great guy who act's as my son's father and is WONDERFUL. His bilogical dad calls once in a while ( he lost cusody battle) and want's to come see Noah ( my son) supervised with my b/f and I present. I have done this a couple time's it has worked out o.k. but he isn't consistant. Only calls when his life is a mess. Is it wrong of me to cut all ties between my son and his father? some say he'll come around but, my son dosen't need to be confused! My b/f adores him and takes him as his own son. I just don't know what to do. Has anybody been in a similar situation? I don't want noah to blame me for not knowing his father..........But his father kind of made his own bed. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 I think you will make the right decision if you focus totally on your SON...not on your own anger, or what the bio father deserves. (I agree with you that he doesn't deserve much or maybe anything.) Do the visits seem like a net positive or negative for your son? If he is getting even some small benefit, I would continue. But if you see him hurting more than he is enjoying, then I would consider scaling back or structuring the visits differently. Your son has a strong foundation with you and your bf...it would probably take a lot to rattle his equilibrium. In future years, he will want to have had at least some contact with his father. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Unless your son is terribly upset by his visits, I would continue them. I was in a similar situation with my older son for a couple years, he would always ask about his father (this went on when he was 3-1/2 to about 6) and every time his Dad was in town (once or twice a year), I'd let them visit (supervised by Grandma - I had trouble being there). My son is now 19 and has no illusions about his Dad (we reconciled and split again last summer) but said he would have held it against me if I hadn't allowed the visits. Link to post Share on other sites
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