I want to leave home so much

[UpDownAllAround]

Well I've done it. I'm finally here. I've:

 

1. Become debt free.

2. Saved up enough to move out

3. With plenty of backup money leftover after initial moving expenses

4. Only thing I got is a car payment

 

First a bit of background: I've been living in the living room for the past several years at home. It's a drag. I've reached the point of not being able to stand it anymore.

 

With everything I have accomplished financially I can reasonablly afford a good 1 bedroom place in a good not-run-down neighborhood, and I can't wait to get out. Several problems that leave me conflicted:

 

1. Grandma's in a nursing home since March due to a fall at home. She's improving day by day and it looks like she will be finally coming home again. In which case I want to 100% move and get the heck out. Even if she doesn't I still want to 100% move out.

 

2. If I leave for an apartment, I'm throwing away $900/mo that could otherwise go to savings on a down payment for a house or condo. And, I'm missing out on high speed internet being installed here (which is in the pipeline for next week). The last one isn't much of an issue since I can have that installed in my new apartment anyway.

 

3. On the one hand I'm excited as hell to leave. But on the other, I'm also conflicted because of stuff like: What if something happened to Grandma and she doesn't come home? Would I be able to break my lease and come back if I absolutely had to? I could, sure - as long as I save the money necessary it shouldn't be a problem. I just don't want to feel like an a*****e leaving home at the wrong time.

 

4. I just can't stand living here anymore. I can't go out, I can't play music (because anything louder than quietly speaking will scare the pets here [i'm leaving out some details to keep this anonymous], I can't watch my TV at night (because another person - super negatively pessimistic stepdad - in the house has super super hearing and it would wake them up), I can't play video games (because my mind is so occupied with this moving thing it's all I can think about day in and day out), and all I can really do that's quiet is listen to my TV through headphones and my music through headphones. I want to listen through my TV's speakers and computer's speakers!!)

 

5. Of course mom doesn't like the idea of me moving out. She says it's fine that I can move but then says things like, 1. I won't be able to help you (she had to help me move back by breaking my lease after my previous apartment increased rents outside the range of my affordability), despite the fact that I've paid her back every dime I owed, 2. Well now I have to cancel high speed internet. I spent a ton of time on the phone yesterday to get that changed. 3. Is just absolutely pessimistic about the entire idea and thinks that things are going to go bad the minute I'm out on my own. Is this just typical parent behavior?

 

6. I pay $500/mo rent here (every month without fail) and save $500/mo to move out. If I move out I will pay $900/mo, which significantly reduces what I pay. After bills, car payment, insurance, etc. I have more than enough per week to live on to buy everything I may possibly need or want, and invest in a girlfriend if a relationship ever happens to my life. I realize that mom can't help me - and I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm better than okay with that - I probably will not be coming back here.

 

Why can't parents be happy that their child wants to be independent and move out on their own, and provide positive reinforcement rather than constantly coming up with excuses as to why the child is going to fail and can't survive without them? :mad:

[Goldenspoon]

How old are you?

 

What do you do for a living?

 

How stable is your job?

 

Male or female?

[UpDownAllAround]

How old are you?

 

What do you do for a living?

 

How stable is your job?

 

Male or female?

 

31 year old guy

 

I have a job in an extremely stable career field without possibility for layoff/firing unless I do something stupid (which isn't likely because I love my job). And, my job is going extremely well too (just got promoted recently).

[KathyM]

Well I've done it. I'm finally here. I've:

 

1. Become debt free.

2. Saved up enough to move out

3. With plenty of backup money leftover after initial moving expenses

4. Only thing I got is a car payment

 

First a bit of background: I've been living in the living room for the past several years at home. It's a drag. I've reached the point of not being able to stand it anymore.

 

With everything I have accomplished financially I can reasonablly afford a good 1 bedroom place in a good not-run-down neighborhood, and I can't wait to get out. Several problems that leave me conflicted:

 

1. Grandma's in a nursing home since March due to a fall at home. She's improving day by day and it looks like she will be finally coming home again. In which case I want to 100% move and get the heck out. Even if she doesn't I still want to 100% move out.

 

2. If I leave for an apartment, I'm throwing away $900/mo that could otherwise go to savings on a down payment for a house or condo. And, I'm missing out on high speed internet being installed here (which is in the pipeline for next week). The last one isn't much of an issue since I can have that installed in my new apartment anyway.

 

3. On the one hand I'm excited as hell to leave. But on the other, I'm also conflicted because of stuff like: What if something happened to Grandma and she doesn't come home? Would I be able to break my lease and come back if I absolutely had to? I could, sure - as long as I save the money necessary it shouldn't be a problem. I just don't want to feel like an a*****e leaving home at the wrong time.

 

4. I just can't stand living here anymore. I can't go out, I can't play music (because anything louder than quietly speaking will scare the pets here [i'm leaving out some details to keep this anonymous], I can't watch my TV at night (because another person - super negatively pessimistic stepdad - in the house has super super hearing and it would wake them up), I can't play video games (because my mind is so occupied with this moving thing it's all I can think about day in and day out), and all I can really do that's quiet is listen to my TV through headphones and my music through headphones. I want to listen through my TV's speakers and computer's speakers!!)

 

5. Of course mom doesn't like the idea of me moving out. She says it's fine that I can move but then says things like, 1. I won't be able to help you (she had to help me move back by breaking my lease after my previous apartment increased rents outside the range of my affordability), despite the fact that I've paid her back every dime I owed, 2. Well now I have to cancel high speed internet. I spent a ton of time on the phone yesterday to get that changed. 3. Is just absolutely pessimistic about the entire idea and thinks that things are going to go bad the minute I'm out on my own. Is this just typical parent behavior?

 

6. I pay $500/mo rent here (every month without fail) and save $500/mo to move out. If I move out I will pay $900/mo, which significantly reduces what I pay. After bills, car payment, insurance, etc. I have more than enough per week to live on to buy everything I may possibly need or want, and invest in a girlfriend if a relationship ever happens to my life. I realize that mom can't help me - and I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm better than okay with that - I probably will not be coming back here.

 

Why can't parents be happy that their child wants to be independent and move out on their own, and provide positive reinforcement rather than constantly coming up with excuses as to why the child is going to fail and can't survive without them? :mad:

I think they're just worried that you won't be able to pay your bills. Typical parents. It's definately time for you to move out. Once you're an adult and have a full time job, you should be out on your own. Don't worry about grandma's arrangements. That's an issue for your parents to worry about. You are doing the right thing by moving out and becoming an independent adult. Good luck. Be sure to manage your money wisely. Living on your own can get pretty expensive.