Worried Dad has questions about private school and child support!

[WorriedDAD]

Hi everyone!

 

I am new to this-

 

My ex and I agreed to put the kids in a private school. After this year we agreed not to put them in any longer because it was too expensive.

 

Now she says she has an appointment with another school (which costs more) to see about putting them in. The older one is just in 1st grade now and the younger one will start school this year. If I refuse to pay and want them in public school will the courts force me to pay for private school??? BTW, I have the kids mon-thurs so I handle most of the school stuff.

 

Also, we have joint physical custody and joint legal custody. Like I said, I have them Mon - Thurs. My ex keeps mentioning child support. Since we have the kids 50/50 doesnt that mean I dont owe her anything. That is what we originally agreed on.

 

Thanks for your help!!!

[HokeyReligions]

It depends on where you are, and what the circumstances are (disabilities, etc.) but I don't think the courts can force you to keep them in a private school. Check with your attorney.

[WorriedDAD]

well, no disabilites here at all. Just cant afford to pay for private school. BUT now the ex - wife has sold the home that we lived in when we were married (i quit claimed it and gave her the home) and she came out of it with at least $30,000. I have a feeling that this is the reason she is suddenly checking into private schools. Any suggestions? I dont have lawyer and she doesnt either. we did our divorce ourselves. BTW, in the divorce we didnt just say split "private school costs" we actually stated the name of a particular school.

[quankanne]

I suppose if a school is specifically named in your agreement, and you mutually decide that it's not feasible to send them there at this point, she has no recourse. However, if she insists on private schools, offer a compromise by telling her "let's look into 5-7 different schools that together we can afford to send our kids, then go from there." That way, you'll be able to say to the judge or arbitrator that you've already tried to compromise on the situation by looking into a number of different schools.

 

Incidentally, schools do offer tuition assistance for those who need it, so you when you're checking out schools, look into that.

[WorriedDAD]

Well, we arent in need BUT it is almost 400 per parent to send two kids to private school. That is expensive in my book, ya know. I do know that the one we did have them at was the cheapest in the city and that was 300 per parent to send them to that school.

 

Does anyone have an answer to my child support question?

 

 

 

Thank to all who have helped so far!!!!

[mintjulep]

Does anyone have an answer to my child support question?

Does your lawyer have an answer to your child support question? It sounds like this is a tough situation - I'm sorry I don't have any advice, I've never been through this, and neither have any of my relatives. I wish I could say that you just need to put your foot down and say you won't pay for this private school, but I know that when you're dealing with an ex-spouse, it's just not that easy. Have you tried discussing the possibility of less expensive schools with her? Private school is more important in high school, if you have to choose, but the individual attention in lower grades is a big plus. What are public schools like in your area? Depending on where you live, I might be able to see your ex wife's p.o.v. if they are reasonably bad like they were in some districts where I grew up.

 

I hope you two have good communication and are on even footing, because you're probably going to have to talk to her about this, and maybe even involve a lawyer.

[Girlie]

If in your divorce decree, it says that neither is to pay the other child support, then you are not currently obligated to pay her anything. If she wants child support, she would have to take you to court.

If I were you, I would consider talking with an atty at this point. If you can't afford one, try looking up clinics in the area. There are usually divorce clinics that either have attys or teach you to handle these things on your own and they can be either low cost or free in some cases. Depends on the situation.

[soccorsilly]

THAT is the binding document. If it specifies the school and the responsible party--you are on the hook and will need to take her to court to get it revised. As for the child supoprt, it varies state by state, so we cannot really say. I would suspect that since you are 50-50 AND she is employed OR employable at an equivalent salary--you two should just wash each other out. Do a google search and see if there are any child support calculators for your state--you put in your income, her income, ages of kids, number of kids and it gives you the framework around which a judge may look at your situation.

 

I had my kids in a private school (but the tuition was closer to 15K a year---I wish I was in your town) and we moved them to public school for financial reasons. My decree said that I was to pay for it, but if I could no longer afford it, we would mutually discuss splitting the cost or moving them. She could not afford to split the cost so we moved them.

 

I would also do everything in writing--email, etc and SAVE them--one never knows.

 

A female friend of mine had a ex hubby who had a specific school in his decree and he hated the school. But the courts upheld the decree and for the betterment of the kids (no trauma --which does not exist--in swapping schools) he was forced to keep them at the school he hated and pay the full bill. Now he was in a position to pay the bill with a middle to high six figure job.

 

Hope this helps