StreetDog Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 (edited) ...Sounds terrible and it's not really my style but... I may have posted before, but I joined a band last year. I didn't care for the politics and the drama so i left, but i was nice about it. They ended up hating me and gave me a hard time about it. Whatever. Anyway, months & months later, One Guy from the group still contacts me. He REALLY has wanted to remain friends and The guy is an o.k. guy, but musically, I just don't want to play or start anything up with the him. Maybe if I had a lot of free time and was wanting to start something, I might call him... Our personalities aren't that similar YET he's ALWAYS sending me invites to rehearse with him sometime or at least hang out. (i get the feeling he doesn't have many friends) I'm a nice guy, I hate to hurt the dude's feelings but I really don't want to hang with him. If he was cool and not so persistant or desperate he'd be a decent pal but he can be very annoying with his constant asking and constant invitations to go hang at his house. Its my fault partly because at times over the year, when he's asked to hang, I've said sure maybe some time in the next couple weeks...And like Clockwork, he'll email me or call me two weeks later and ask to hang. I've at times emailed him little things here and there, like links to cool music things or whatever, so i've kept that door open I guess you could say... I feel bad totally ignoring him. It bothers me. I don't know why. Edited July 15, 2011 by StreetDog Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Perhaps, assuming music is a business or profession, consider the association in that vein rather than as being 'buddies'. Detach any emotions normally associated with being friends or desiring friends or being desired as a friend and look at it as a contact in the music business. People maintain associations with other people that they'd never consider for friends for other reasons. It's possible. If that is not your path, simply communicate that while you do appreciate the offers, you don't feel you'll be able to accept anytime soon. Then, merely block/redirect the communication channels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StreetDog Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 Perhaps, assuming music is a business or profession, consider the association in that vein rather than as being 'buddies'. Detach any emotions normally associated with being friends or desiring friends or being desired as a friend and look at it as a contact in the music business. People maintain associations with other people that they'd never consider for friends for other reasons. It's possible. If that is not your path, simply communicate that while you do appreciate the offers, you don't feel you'll be able to accept anytime soon. Then, merely block/redirect the communication channels. i've tried to keep it that way. I've tried the "too busy", "can't commit right now"...from him I always get: "Can't commit right now? no problem, but let's talk maybe we can work something out! or let's at least hang out and talk about it" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Once you've communicated that you'll be unable to accept, then block/redirect. Consider that answer your best and final answer, needing no further expansion nor discussion. The other party doesn't have to accept it, but their future efforts will only hit dead air. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Man, if you dont plan on hanging ouit with this guy ever again, you have to say "nah, im not interested, take care of yourself." Hes a man, he can handle it. Stop worrying about hurting his feelings, you wont, it cant be that serious. You will get over yolur guilt in five minutes, just do it already. Tell him youre not interested! Link to post Share on other sites
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