do men like bigger girls?

[Ross MwcFan]

I'm on a seafood diet.

 

I see food, and I have to eat it.

[carhill]

You're not a troper are you carhill?

 

Mostly an old BBS'er and newsgrouper who probably still relies too much on old internet shorthand. I'm working on it. BTW, trope is the new word I learned today

 

OP, since it sounds like you have bi-sexual tendencies and were engaged to a svelte woman who did find you attractive, then it follows a certain subset of men will also find you attractive as you are. I'd echo advice already given to, if you want to lose weight, do it to make yourself feel good, not to attract a man. Being attractive to healthy men is just a byproduct of feeling good about yourself.

[Chocolat]

what am i suppose to do? lose weight so men fancy me?

 

thanks for the advice but i would much rather a man like me for who i am now and if i chose to lose weight than fine . than him like me because im thin. i was a size 24 so im happy with the way i look but thanks all the more.

 

 

If you're happy with how you look and feel, then you should hold out for a man who wll love you as you are. Just spend an afternoon at the mall and you will see people of all shapes, weights, and ages paired up. Being slim is not a requirement.

 

On the other hand, I've read a few of your posts and it seems that you are angry that men aren't interested in you. If that anger is coming across in your day-to-day interactions, that's what could be putting men off.

 

Bottom line: a confident, happy person is more likely to attract others.

[Hot Chick]

I think it might be an advantage that you have been with a woman before. I see a lot of lesbian women together who are big women. Maybe this is something you shouldn't be closed to; it might open up your options.

[cheergirl]

While it is true that most men like slender ladies, there are some who love bigger women. There are as many different turn ons as there are stars in the sky.

 

I was always a tiny girl growing up. I did not hit 100 pounds until I was 16. After being on meds and birth control, I have gone from a size 2 to a size 12, all in the space of twelve years. I have womanly and sensual curves...my husband loves them.

 

You have clearly decided that you want to stay the same size. This shows that you have a high level of self esteem.

 

Or, you are, what we call, "gassed"...Deluded...

 

Sorry, no offence, LD; but I am soooo tired of people mistakenly glorifying sloth, greed and laziness for "high self-esteem"... It just, irks me.... I see it all the time in the US, to a lesser degree in the UK.... It makes no sense, defies logic, black isn't white, saying it don't make it so...

 

If you are so happy being overweight, why are you asking what men prefer? You already know. Unless you want more of that "We are big and beautiful, we LOVE being curvy (fat) Go girl" nonsense" Should be easy enough to generate a threadful...

 

I know of one large lady who is truly happy with her size... She is a dominatrix, no lie... Her size is her living, every other overweight female I know hates it... This is my experience. I am honest with you.

It all depends if you are honest with yourself or a liar.

 

If you want your bf to fancy you, you need to get in shape, end of...

he's not a bad guy just because he likes thinner women.

biology is not PC, you can't legitimize it, or make it make sense... Work within the rules of attraction. Kathy is right, if you look fit and healthy and slender, you will have a larger pool of men to chose from.

If you are truly happy to be overweight, there are a lot of guys who like chubby girls. I'm sure you can find lots of info on the internet.

If guys like you for being fat, there's nothing wrong with them either...

Just make sure you are being honest with yourself...

Hope this helps...

[Syndicate]

i feel sorry for the woman. big woman can be good in bed ive had many compliments! size dont matter. im sure the ladys say it all the time when they see your 'tool'

 

I, like many other men, don't want to date an extremely overweight woman. If she is just slightly overweight, I can tolerate that.

 

Why? Because I want a woman who knows how to take care of her body, who exercises regularly and overall wants to live a healthy life. I'm not interested in a woman who won't learn about nutrition, eating properly and living a healthy lifestyle.

[HerbDaline]

As many have said, everyone has preferences. Perhaps you need to be searching where the men prefer larger women? I work in the USA. as a truck driver. I constantly hear (male) drivers touting the benefits of dating/marrying a larger woman. Good cook, better in bed, dedicated/loyal & a far better attitude just to name some of the chatter I have heard.

 

Could it be you are looking for love in the wrong places? Maybe we can get some suggestions of where to find men that tend to prefer you as you are?

 

Herb Daline

[Feelin Frisky]

Depends on the woman. Fatness or obesity is never pretty. But someone with a beautiful face and compelling personality can make the fat transparent. I knew a really hefty girl back in Long Island. Her face was so pretty, guys went crazy for her. And she had a really cool way about her.

 

I prefer a woman with a little more over some less than.

[AmEricanWomann]

Confused Carly, the vast majority of men are not attracted to obese women. You can get angry at them, but the world isn't going to change for you. Only you can change. If you want to stay the same, that's fine, I'm not telling you what to do with your life, but you can't blame men for not choosing you to date. They don't owe it to you to be attracted to you.

 

You sound like those guys who come on here and whine "I'm such a nice guy, I have so much love to give if women would only see past my looks, (or my unemployment, or the fact that I live in my mom's basement) but they're all shallow bitches, because they don't want to date me!" They blame all the women in the world for their forced abstinence instead of looking inward and trying to change what it is about themselves that turns women off.

 

You aren't extremely overweight, and congratulations on the weight you have already lost, but if you believe most men are turned off by your current size, yet you refuse to do anything to change it, then who's to blame? Yes, there are men that don't mind the extra weight and some that even find it sexy, but if those aren't the men you want to be with, then it doesn't do you much good.

 

I am not speaking from a place of judgement, but from experience. I was much bigger than you were at your largest size. I wasn't just obese, I was super morbidly obese. In the vernacular of the "fat acceptance" movement, that's called being a " Super sized big beautiful woman", but there was nothing super about it and I'm sorry but there was nothing beautiful about it either.

 

I knew I had to do something about it, so I got help, lost close to 200lbs and now lots of men find me attractive, even though I'm not 20 or even 25 anymore. It feels wonderful. I was always pretty sure that if I lost weight, guys would be more physically attracted to me, but what I didn't realize was that its like living in a parallel universe. One where men are nice to me and go out of their way to help me. Its a world where they smile when I walk by, instead of looking past me.

Before, even if I was a customer in a store and it was a guy's job to help me, most of them would barely lift a finger when I asked for assistance or would act resentful if I insisted on help. Now, they always seem to go the extra mile , whether they are working or just happened to be there. I get much respect and don't ever have to beg for or insist on help.

 

Anyway, my point is, I could have spent the rest of my life fat and angry at the whole world for not treating me better or wanting to date me, but I decided to change myself and I made my life better.

 

Its your choice what you want to do, but like I said, the world is not going to change to suit you.

[coffeeaddict]

Plump yes, a lot of men prefer women who are curvy and have some extra fat in all the right places, 5'3" 130 - 5'7" 140 - 5'10" 150, that type of range, maybe even a little more. Ten or twenty pounds of extra fat in all the right places accentuates a woman's natural gifts and makes her look sexier. Christina Hendricks is a perfect example.

 

If bigger means carrying around 50 pounds of extra fat (obese), then that's a different story. Carrying around a ton of extra weight and having two chins doesn't make anybody look better man or woman. You probably don't need to lose as much as you think you do, and I'm sure that you can do it, if that's ultimately what you decide to do.

[Madi in evergreen]

I am a woman. I don't find an instant attraction in most of overweight men. The main reason is not necessarily in the aesthetic aspect. The body style/size of most of people makes me assume his/her life style and a degree of self-control.

Because I know how hard it is to stay fit.

I used to be struggling with weight issue myself until my late teen ( used to be a fat kid, so called). Now I am in a fitness industry (a fitness equipment designer) so I am supposed to stay fit and I love every second of it. I grow self-respect for myself and people who are fit because I know how much self control you need to stay that way.

 

I am telling you nobody is born with 'fit' gene. It is bloody hard effort that is constantly challenged by every minute. A lot of people choose to go on with this fight because staying in shape makes your life much much better. Makes you healthier, Makes your relationship better (both intimate or non-intimate). Make your sex life better. Gives you undeniable (maybe subtle yet it is there) benefit in your career also. Shallow? Yes. but that is the way it is.

 

It is up to you.

Edited July 19, 2011 by Madi in evergreen

[DreamerGirl27]

I have a friend who says he likes near skin and bones girls, but he's also a boob man and likes really big boobs. The skinnier the girl, the smaller her boobs are gonna be. lol Just an observation.

 

So, I dunno. Personally, I like small built people, it's just my personal preference, even in guys. I don't like muscle. But I'm a weird one lol

 

It's just preference, but nobody should ever judge you based off that. I mean, it's one thing to want to be attracted, but what if you got with a skinny person and they got fat due to some medical reason. Are you going to leave them? Seems incredibly shallow...you're supposed to love the person for who they are.

 

Anyway. Who am I to talk. I'm shallow myself and go for looks, but when I find someone I really like, it's usually for more than just their looks and just the fact that I like them, they could be the ugliest person on the planet to most, but when I look at them, they're beautiful. It would be the same thing if they got fat or "bigger" all of a sudden. They're still the same person on the inside and it wouldn't make me not love them anymore.

 

I know this kind of wasn't what this was about, but I got on a tangent! haha

[123321]

I like petite women, but not always skinny so much as just small. Look at Salma Hayak; c cups on a midget look gigantor and still defy gravity, it's a win-win.

[DreamerGirl27]

I like petite women, but not always skinny so much as just small. Look at Salma Hayak; c cups on a midget look gigantor and still defy gravity, it's a win-win.

 

I never understand why men love big bobs. But that's because I like small boobs. But I'm not a man.

 

anyway, actually, no matter the strong popular belief that men loves skinny girls, it's actually quite opposite.

 

Men love curvy girls. A woman's body is made to have curves and lots of them. Women who are rail thin tend to look like 12 year olds. Men don't like that. It doesn't mean men aren't with women like this, but I know of men who state they like thin girls, but consistently date bigger girls with more curves.

 

Men love that hour glass figure. They are made that way.

[Ginger Beer]

Depends on the woman. Fatness or obesity is never pretty. But someone with a beautiful face and compelling personality can make the fat transparent. I knew a really hefty girl back in Long Island. Her face was so pretty, guys went crazy for her. And she had a really cool way about her.

 

I prefer a woman with a little more over some less than.

 

This.

 

Height is more important to me. I;m not massive (5''8') so I prefer short girls. Short and shapely is perfect. I am not attracted to skinny girls really, I like women to be reasonably chubby. They are beautiful.

[lopeupserry]

Seymour, an orphan and a nerd, is taken in and given a job by Mr. Mushnik, the owner of a run down Florists in the seedy part of town. Seymour spends his time doing menial tasks and dreaming of the shop assistant, Audrey. One day, just after an eclipse of the Sun, Seymour discovers a strange plant. He buys it and names is Audrey II. While caring for Audrey II, Seymour discovers the plant's rather unique appetite. The plant grows and grows, as does Seymour's infatuation for Audrey, but who will get her first? FEED ME!

[123321]

Plump yes, a lot of men prefer women who are curvy and have some extra fat in all the right places, 5'3" 130 - 5'7" 140 - 5'10" 150, that type of range, maybe even a little more.

 

Some men, MANY men, say that. Watch them and see who turns their head and most of the time it's not the plumpers, its the slim tight-bodied hotties. Actions still speak louder than words, go out to Santa Cruz and hit the beach this weekend and see which women the guys are overtly or covertly looking over.

 

They say they like their women with "a little meat on them" for the same reasons women seem to tell guys with small dicks size doesn't matter. To convince themselves and make their partner feel better.

 

But watch their eyes, they don't lie.

[Airborne]

Confused Carly, the vast majority of men are not attracted to obese women. You can get angry at them, but the world isn't going to change for you. Only you can change. If you want to stay the same, that's fine, I'm not telling you what to do with your life, but you can't blame men for not choosing you to date. They don't owe it to you to be attracted to you.

 

You sound like those guys who come on here and whine "I'm such a nice guy, I have so much love to give if women would only see past my looks, (or my unemployment, or the fact that I live in my mom's basement) but they're all shallow bitches, because they don't want to date me!" They blame all the women in the world for their forced abstinence instead of looking inward and trying to change what it is about themselves that turns women off.

 

You aren't extremely overweight, and congratulations on the weight you have already lost, but if you believe most men are turned off by your current size, yet you refuse to do anything to change it, then who's to blame? Yes, there are men that don't mind the extra weight and some that even find it sexy, but if those aren't the men you want to be with, then it doesn't do you much good.

 

I am not speaking from a place of judgement, but from experience. I was much bigger than you were at your largest size. I wasn't just obese, I was super morbidly obese. In the vernacular of the "fat acceptance" movement, that's called being a " Super sized big beautiful woman", but there was nothing super about it and I'm sorry but there was nothing beautiful about it either.

 

I knew I had to do something about it, so I got help, lost close to 200lbs and now lots of men find me attractive, even though I'm not 20 or even 25 anymore. It feels wonderful. I was always pretty sure that if I lost weight, guys would be more physically attracted to me, but what I didn't realize was that its like living in a parallel universe. One where men are nice to me and go out of their way to help me. Its a world where they smile when I walk by, instead of looking past me.

Before, even if I was a customer in a store and it was a guy's job to help me, most of them would barely lift a finger when I asked for assistance or would act resentful if I insisted on help. Now, they always seem to go the extra mile , whether they are working or just happened to be there. I get much respect and don't ever have to beg for or insist on help.

 

Anyway, my point is, I could have spent the rest of my life fat and angry at the whole world for not treating me better or wanting to date me, but I decided to change myself and I made my life better.

 

Its your choice what you want to do, but like I said, the world is not going to change to suit you.

I'm quoting this because it's all that really needs to be said on the subject.

 

If American was still obese I probably wouldn't even have paid attention!

[KR10N]

Personally, I would never loose or gain weight to please a man. Nobody should do those things for anyone but themselves.

 

Yes, there are men who like curvy/heavy women. I had actually never realised that the man I had been infatuated w/ likes curvy women & he's a slim guy. It's all about what you find attractive. In his case, I guess that rules me out.

 

Like they say, to each their own.

[cheergirl]

Personally, I would never loose or gain weight to please a man. Nobody should do those things for anyone but themselves.

 

What about your children? Should a person lose weight for their kids?

I would lose weight if my bf/husband wanted me to, if he thought I was too heavy and he wasn't attracted to me, and I loved him, why not?

Why is it seen as such an awful thing to be motivated by the needs of your significant other?

I think it's called caring or consideration...

 

Yes, there are men who like curvy/heavy women. I had actually never realised that the man I had been infatuated w/ likes curvy women & he's a slim guy. It's all about what you find attractive. In his case, I guess that rules me out.

 

I totally object to "curvy" being used as a synonym for heavy/fat or obese.

It's not the same at all...

I find it confusing/irritating when people interchange these terms for the sake of political correctness or "fat acceptance" ideology.

If you really accept fat, then call it what it is, don't minimise it;) (lol), own it and work it, for goodness sake.

Redefining words, moving goalposts to suit our needs is disingenuous. IMO...

 

She said it best, though...

I wasn't just obese, I was super morbidly obese. In the vernacular of the "fat acceptance" movement, that's called being a " Super sized big beautiful woman", but there was nothing super about it and I'm sorry but there was nothing beautiful about it either.

 

She could have just carried on, thinking black is white, hating reality, but she changed. And she is happy now, I am sooo pleased for this woman 200lbs? Wow, what an inspirational person, well done!!! :bunny:

[KR10N]

@cheergirl,

Because...

A) I'm not fat.

B) I exercise on a regular basis.

C) I would only expect my SO to be into physical fitness just as I am.

 

What is the deal w/ adding to my quote? And obviously you didn't pay much attention to the first line in my post?

 

If your BF/SO is not attracted to you because of a few extra pounds, he's in for a rude awakening when you get pregnant & are left w/ all your baby fat.

 

I'll say again, if I ever gain weight, I'll never loose it just because my SO no longer finds my appealing. I'll do it for myself.

[cheergirl]

Yes, there are men who like curvy/heavy women. I.

 

I totally object to "curvy" being used as a synonym for heavy/fat or obese. It's not the same at all...

I find it confusing/irritating when people interchange these terms for the sake of political correctness or "fat acceptance" ideology.

If one really accepts fat, then call it what it is, don't minimise it;) (lol), own it and work it, for goodness sake.

Redefining words, moving goalposts to suit our needs is disingenuous. IMO...

When I said "you" I should have said, "one".... Sorry, rectified. I was not/and did not to imply that you, personally, were fat.

Although that's really neither here nor there.

 

 

 

@cheergirl,

Because...

A) I'm not fat. I didn't say you were, dear...

B) I exercise on a regular basis.

C) I would only expect my SO to be into physical fitness just as I am.

 

What is the deal w/ adding to my quote?

Um I responded to what you said. that's what people do here, right?

 

And obviously you didn't pay much attention to the first line in my post?

This one? "Personally, I would never loose or gain weight to please a man. Nobody should do those things for anyone but themselves."

Well, yes, I did, and responded to that statement by heartily disagreeing.

It's an often echoed sentiment that I find puzzling...

As if losing weight or changing anything at all about oneself for a man is the worst thing a woman can do...

I think it's silly, if one loves one's partner and the partner is concerned about the well-being of his woman why shouldn't he be able to express his preferences and expect his woman to care enough to respect it. Of course it works both ways:)

 

If your BF/SO is not attracted to you because of a few extra pounds, he's in for a rude awakening when you get pregnant & are left w/ all your baby fat.

Been there, done that...I am responding to the above statement... This baby weight thing!! Nonsense... Most people I know had the baby then were back to normal within a few months, 6 max...

I'm not saying it doesn't happen but it isn't a direct result of having a baby.

All women don't go up 50 pounds just cos they have a baby... Weight goes up for the usual reasons...

 

I'll say again, if I ever gain weight, I'll never loose it just because my SO no longer finds my appealing. I'll do it for myself....

Is being attractive to your SO sooo unimportant to you?

I'm sure he'll be very happy to know that...

[Ross MwcFan]

The bigger the better.

[Dust]

I prefer women with curves, but for me that means hour glass shape. Not the shapeless mass a woman becomes when she gains a lot of weight. Seriously what good are big boobs if they are shapeless. I like girls who are in shape and there for have shape and curves.

 

There are plenty of men who date/marry very fat women all the time though. So, you should have no trouble.

[Afishwithabike]

There are plenty of men who date/marry very fat women all the time though. So, you should have no trouble.

 

Very true. My husband used to have a co-worker who weighed 300 some pounds. I didn't weigh her of course, but she said to my H she was in the 300 pound range. Her live in boyfriend was a 6'2" man. His weight was average for his height. After she had gastric bypass surgery, she got down to about 220 pounds, but he dumped her. I think he preferred her at her previous weight.