markiemarcc Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 wife just hit me with D papers in october she was writing me birthday cards with "stay with me forever" and you only get better with time. being very jealous and possessive--she THOT i was fooling around near xmas. Only went out for 3 beers 1 night after a long day--found all my clothes in the yard when i got home. Heres my point--we grew cold then all of a sudden march 1 papers came. ever since that day its been--i dont love you--i want to be alone--leave me alone etc etc etc. When i see her on the street i motion her over and she pulls over and for 15 minutes she tells me how much she hates me. Then she'll slip and say something like "well i dont know if i love you or not". anyway--ive moved in with a brother since march 1--and after writing numerous emails and getting same answer--i ve decided no contact til she misses me. By the way-went to pick up daughter (16) for dinner--and noticed all our family pix are still up around the house after 8 weeks of this. Continue to leave her alone and hope? Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 I think there's hope. Has she ever done anything rash and impulsive before? Is this the way she works? What worked in the past to get you over arguments and trouble? In short, definitely go for no-contact. No calls. No drive-by waves. No emails. No subtle messages through friends. Make no objections to the divorce going through. Look as if you've come to terms with it and you're ready to move on. Use this time to do something you've always wanted to, and to treat yourself right (eat well, exercise every day, get a different haircut and new clothes, etc.). You want to look fantastic and happy if you run into your wife. Yes, it's a little manipulative, but love is a war. And besides, if you lose, you'll be in great shape to start dating. Link to post Share on other sites
MARKIEMARC Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 THANKS VEL DO OTHERS SEE IT THIS WAY? Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 Abso-freakin'-lutely. Do all those things. Within the first month after D-Day, I'd lost 15 lbs (mostly from not eating anything). Lost another 15 via a low carb diet. By the time I moved out 3 months post-D-Day, I looked better than I had in years. I bought some new clothes, got new glasses, styled my hair differently, started doing things I wanted to do. When she came by to drop off the kids, I put on a bit of an act, demonstrating how psyched I was with my new "bachelor pad". My sitch was a bit different since, when I moved out, I thought she wanted the marriage to end for sure. So, I started dating right away. She found out about it (not because I hid it), and within, literally, TEN DAYS of my moving out, she'd asked me to come back. I was enjoying a well-deserved holiday in Vegas at the time with some friends when she phoned me in tears. She asked a few more times too. We talked reconcilliation on a few occasions but it's now over; but the point is, damn... that was affirming. And, as Vel observed, the side benefits were great... I've dated several women since and have no complaints about that area of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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