Almost ten years and wife decides she is not "in love" anymore

[trekgraham78]

So here is my back story, this Oct will be ten years of marriage and eleven years of being a couple. We have had a rocky time together, I was undiagnosed bipolar in the first 8-9 yrs of our relationship. I have been physically and emotionally abusive in the past, I have worked hard to stop that behavior. The medicine and counseling has helped me out a lot. Financially we have had it rough, been evicted several times, gotten more in debt. I had a hard time holding a job, been holding one for almost 3 months in a position I would of never taken before. I also run a small business that is up and down dependent on trends of seasons.

 

Just recently in the last month or so, she decided to go visit a friend who she was attracted to in Arkansas. This woman who is about 12+ yrs older then my wife was just a close friend, so I thought nothing of it. She messed around with her and decided she thinks she may like women more then men. She says she still loves me and came home, but two weeks later wanted to spend a month with this woman for a separation from me. I was completely against this, mainly because I was worried she would never return. I asked her to stay and for us to work on our relationship and she stayed. She has now been saying she feels I am trapping her here and she wants to go still. I feel I have no way to keep her here but I am so concerned because I am sure that the number of people who survive a separation in which one party leaves the state and has a sexual relationship with someone else is very low.

 

My other concerns are that I have a very short time to find a second job to make up the lost income, I am also very scared to be all by myself, because I have not been on my own since I was 21. I have been going over budgets, fixing my resume and trying to do anything to get my mind off of this for now but again spinning so fast I cannot see straight!

[trekgraham78]

I am just wondering should I just move on or should I try to convince her to stay. She says I got till end of the month till she is gone. She told me she only wants her laptop and clothing and personal stuff. She is giving me the car, the home(renting), furniture and tvs she just wants to go. She says she feels trapped and not wanting to stay. She has not desire to goto counseling and says the "I love you but not in love with you"

[andyg99]

you really can't convince her if her mind is set... best to let her go and make whatever changes you need to make for yourself, not for her....

[coolheadal]

Too late now she told use the old saying they love you but, she's gone to the other-side. Don't know if you want a BI-Sexual Wife that's up to you. Best to let her go as she's doing whatever she wants now without your feedback..