2-3 Hour Guilt Trip Today

[wilsonx]

I have no clue what happened today but I started feeling guilty about something about my most recent relationship. I was focusing on my own wants and needs all day long in my head and then I just got this 2-3 hour rush where in my mind the relationship ending the way it did was my fault. It was not my fault, I caught her emotionally cheating on me but I could not get that **** out of my head while I was working. I was positive and happy all day long with only a few tears shed when a friend and I were arguing about letting something go that a friend had told him. I explained to him that he made a decision to call one of our friends attractive, she told her bf, he said end it, it makes me uncomfortable and she did. I said this is the same situation as my relationship. Except if you keep letting it bother you like this bothered me, you are going to be put to tears like I am right now because you are just building and building stress inside of you and its eventually going to break you

[Average55]

Look to be honest everyone goes through this, going down memory lane and remembering recent or even you very first relationship. Its good that we do that, so that we dont ever forget the mistakes we did or let other people do. But the trick is to get over it and let it be JUST a memory. Forgive but never forget.

[shayla]

I have had many bouts of guilt since my break up. The way my ex broke up with me was so cruel and ugly, I could not believe that he could just do this to me for nothing, that I MUST HAVE done something to deserve this...kept second guessing myself, and remembering how mean I was to him.

 

Uh yes I was mean to him, because of the way he treated me!!! It's easy to forget their role in the relationship when the guilt trip begins and it can cause selective amnesia.

 

Thankfully, guilt makes way to truth with time.

[thelovingkind]

I had the guilt trips too for a while. Until the last couple weeks where the tables turned completely, my ex was the one who was more into me while I was slightly stand-offish. Actually, I think we were probably equally invested, but I had fooled myself into thinking that I was less so, and as a result I acquired some unpleasant personality traits. I feel like on something akin to a power-high I pushed the cocky-teasing-mocking side of my personality too far, for example, to a point where it might have been agitating and annoying rather than frisky and playful. Whether or not that played any role at all in the relationship's demise, the best I've been able to do is simply acknowledge and vow to actively police and resolve these tendencies in my next relationship. The most soothing treatment for a guilt trip is, in my opinion, acknowledging, understanding, learning and putting into practice those lessons learnt. I think this holds true even your guilt is not terribly justified, because it's about channelling your guilt into productive self-development which is never ever a mistake.

[wilsonx]

Its not really that. Our relationship was technically toast a month into it (when she lied to me about a guy she later cheated on me with was coming down and she said he wasnt) and I was suffering and playing What Ifs in my head which you should not do because its just wasting energy that could be best spent somewhere else. When she broke up with me the final time, she said that if I was not so difficult to get along with, she would not have cheated on me. LOL we had gotten into 2 arguments one about work the other about the lie.

 

After she cheated on me, I kind of quit caring for a long time, even though she lied to me continuously about not cheating on me. I knew internally that she did and I did nothing about it except make poor decisions after the fact which did not involve ending it with her.