Teenage girls and parents.

[UCFKevin]

My sister is 4 years older than me. Growing up, I saw her go thru her teen years and the way she was with my parents.

 

Now I'm seeing my step sister turn 16 and behave the same way.

 

Is there some kind of hormone that's released in teenage girls that makes them so damn irritable, confrontational and complainy?

 

I mean, Jesus Christ, when I was that age, I sure as hell didn't act like that, but my sister and my dad would fight about EVERY damn little thing, even on Christmas day, to the point of both of them sobbing out of intense anger and storming to their rooms.

 

Now my step sister, 16, is acting the same way with my stepmom.

 

What the hell's the deal? Is it a girl only thing? Or do guys act like this too? I never seen guys do it, but I"m sure it's possible.

[bella8464]

When I was 16, yes I was the devil child. Parents tend to be more controlling and more protective over their teenage daughters than their teenage sons, so this causes problems. I wanted to go out and hang out with my friends, but I was always given the third degree about EVERYTHING i did. And when they wouldn't let me go out, of course I'd whine and complain and fight with my parents. I'm sure the same goes for most girls at that age. Oh, and of course, the fact that we PMS doesn't help much, either

[bluechocolate]

One thing that struck me about your post UCF was the girl fighting with her father. I remember in my teens ( all those years ago - sigh ) that many of my female friends at the time having fights with their mothers. I think Bella is right about the protective bit though. And yes, I think boys can be like that too -- terrible twos, terrible teens - chalk one up for alliteration.

[moimeme]

Is there some kind of hormone that's released in teenage girls that makes them so damn irritable, confrontational and complainy?

 

Well, yah! Puberty is all about nutso hormones. Remember, it's those very same hormones which will endow that young lass with the joys of PMS, perimenopause, and menopause for the rest of her days. Just think of this as a preview of what's to come

[brashgal]

It happens to boys too - my son was just about perfect, intelligent, adult, rational until he hit 11 or 12. Testosterone or some hormone started raging, he seemed to lose most common sense - not that he was bad but he was so frigging unpredictable and he often lacked judgement. There were battles - he wasn't whiny crazy the way I was sometimes as a teenager, he was aggressive, headstrong, sometimes taken in by peer pressure. Made me nuts.

 

It all passed shortly before he turned 17 - it made for a few interesting years.

[Embee]

I remember walking around and being angry for no reason, just flippin ready to bite my mothers head off.

 

I think the worst trap that mom's fall into is the emotional tornado of hurt and anger that strikes back and fourth. It is healthy and normal to argue. What your step sis is going through will pass. You can either put in ear plugs and barricade yourself somewhere or you can try to reason with her and interpret for the mother of the household (Mom loves you, she worries so much about you blah blah). Then again, it might be better that you curl up into a bawl and got to your happy place, until it's over. Just be sure you are grounded and away from any shattering glass.

[Embee]

I really need to use spell check and grammar check. GEEZE!

[katy_katt]

I dunno...my brother and I are completely opposite. When I was a teenager I acted out sometimes, but never against my mother...we never really argued and when I rebelled she knew nothing about it. Of course, she gave me a lot of independence and I'm sure that helped. My little brother is 16 now and he's been a handful for the last four years or so...doing stupid (and at times illegal) things without thinking, talking back to my parents. It's hard to say whether or not he's ever going to change, either. He's got quite a degree of independence too...more than I think he should have. I guess each teen is different.

[faux]

My sister is going on sixteen. She tries to wage war on me constantly. I do not even bother saying "Hello!" or inviting her to do things when she gets back from school, or when I see her looking bored. I try not to talk to her at all. In fact, I avoid her like the plague. If she talks to me she wants a favor, or she has nothing at all nice to say. All I can do anymore is just try to avoid her as best I can.

 

She seems to take out her frustrations on me any chance that she gets. I thought I was alone with teenage girl problems. I feel better to know that others are going through the same hell as I am, more or less.

[yes]

while all this teenage warfare may be annoying and even upsetting for the parents and the siblings, it usually does a great deal of good for the teenager. most of them overdo it, but it's a process of learning to speak up (and when to speak up), to be your own person, etc. i was a very quiet, submissive teen, and it cost me plenty of difficulties later - i wish i let out the steam as it was coming instead of holding it in for years and then bursting.

 

btw, the degree to which the teens wage war often depends on how skillful the parents are at letting the kid do whatever s/he wants yet keeping her/him in check. it's a hard balance to strike.

 

the reason it's a bigger deal w/ girls is 1-indeed, parents tend to way more protective of girls and 2-for some reason it's expected that girls will be all soft and nice, so when they're not, it's more noticeable; people tend to expect trouble from the boys, so it's not shocking when it comes.

 

my 2c,

-yes

[Papillon]

Boys are exactly the same. The hormones are different, but the emotional upheaval is identical.