My boyfriend is uncomfortable about masturbation

[Jill]

How can I get my boyfriend to understand that masturbation is a normal, healthy thing? Once during sex I wanted to help him get to know how to please me better by showing him how I did it and he lost interest. I didn't mean to undermine his abilities. Most other men get turned on by a woman doing this in front of them. How can I get my boyfriend interested?

[Tony T]

His losing interest has NOTHING to do with him not understanding. It has to do with his selfishness and lack of interest in what satisfied you. You can't change a selfish person, they have to grow out of it.

 

If you will pay attention closely, you will notice that in other areas of the relationship as well, he is mostly interested in that which he enjoys and directly benefits him. How often does he go out of his way to do things to make YOU happy?

 

If he was really interested in pleasing you better, he would show great attentiveness when you were trying to show him how.

[Paulie]

Tony:

I think you MIGHT be jumping the gun in giving the guy a bad rap here. While I agree that it is healthy for women to masturbate, some men have just been conditioned to think it's somehow dirty, slutty, or just gross. I, personally, think that masturbation is wonderful and healthy. But to just assume that it's the result of selfishness is a bit presumptious. And then to extrapolate that it must be the case that he's selfish in other areas of the relationship is just plain absurd. Also, alot of men are just plain in the dark when it comes to how to satisfy a woman. Many men think that it's as easy for women in general to climax just from sex, while clitoral stimulation generally is more effective.

 

I just think that this original poster's guy MAY be guilty of just not understanding female sexuality, or may just need to realize that she needs to be satisfied too. But I think you may have gone too far in your presumptions.

[Tony T]

I'm sure Jill will appreciate your point here. I do. It will be truly up to her and what she knows of the guy and how she reads the actual situation herself to determine what the real cause may be.

 

I think rather than seem uninterested, a guy ought go just communicate his feelings on an issue. Making a gal feel like he is uninterested in pleasing her is not exactly the fastest way to her heart.