Stupid Girl Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Today was his last day he'd paid for in his hotel. When we saw each other most recently, last week, he commented that he'd "see me soon", so I thought that meant he'd come see me when his hotel stay was up. I thought he'd want to, because we had a really good time when we were together that one day last week. I mean, he seemed like he had a good time. But instead, he'd rather find somewhere else to stay than say one word to me, than to send one text. That really shows how little I mean to him. I feel stupid (even more stupid than my username implies), and used. I met a guy from an online dating site over the weekend because I thought it would make me feel better. It didn't. Although he does seem like a great guy and I do want to be friends with him, I don't think I would ever actually be able to date him (especially not at this point). We seemed to be a good match, but it was nothing close to what my ex and I had. I wonder if he was my one great love in life, and I never have anything like that again? I think it's time for me to really accept this is it. This relationship is really over. I need to get rid of him, and to do that, I need to get all of his stuff out of my apartment. I'm in contact with his mom as she struggles with him running away as well (probably almost as much as I am), and I think I should just come ask her to pick his things up. Then another part of me thinks to myself - this is a man in crisis. He is not only hurting me, he is hurting everybody around him. His family, his friends. Maybe this is not something persoanlly against our relationship. Maybe he really does just need some more time - but then I realize I'm making more excuses for him, and I realize it has really got to end. I do deserve better than this. [i'm just feeling sad tonight, thinking of how I threw away 1/5th of my entire life with this guy, and I don't even know where to start rebuilding things.] Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stupid Girl Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 I went to the bar last night with some friends and had a great time and made a new friend I decided today is the last day I am going to cry over my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
onlyafool Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 From what it sounds like, he's in disarray. Do you really want that in your life right now? My own personal opinion here - I think going out with that guy was a good first step. It's a good feeling to have someone pursue you and want you in their company. It doesn't take the place of YOU feeling better about who you are, but it does do good for the soul. Good idea asking his mom to come get his stuff. That's baggage you don't need to hold. Constant reminders are hard enough, when they're alread in your head, you don't need to physically see the stuff. It only makes it worse. Be proud of yourself for putting your foot down on the tears. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stupid Girl Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 Hi onlyafool, you're right, he's a complete disaster. In fact, since I last wrote I did see him again, and he went from crying and begging on his knees for me back, to telling me he couldn't stand being around me and cutting off contact again. In a span of 24 hours. The guy I actually like a lot, I think we could be good friends. We are going to hang out again as friends soon. But I'm not attracted to him. At all. Maybe partly because of the proximity of this breakup. Definitely other things too though. But I think that's good for me now, to not be thinking about immediately transferring my 5 years worth of lovely relationship feelings into a new relationship. For the record, I did cry again. The last time I cried was yesterday. I will try not to cry again, but I feel myself weakening sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
onlyafool Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Wow! 24 hour turnaround? He's quiet the flibbertigibbet. I'm sorry he's doing that to you. Sounds totally self-centered. As for the guy you like a lot, you're probably right about jumping into a relationship so soon after the break up, especially since the ex is still messing with you in some way. But it wouldn't hurt to have a friend, no? There's no shame in crying. 5 years is a long time to be with someone. A person can't easily cast aside their feelings...and if they can, well, that's someone I don't want to associate myself with. Take care of yourself. You'll be just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
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