malouski5286 Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 For whoever reads this, it is greatly appreciated that you are taking the time to read this. I am currently dating somebody and he is a great guy and he makes me smile and laugh, but I do have a problem with him flirting with his friends that are girls. I have seen him flirt with his friends in front of me and it didn't bother me because I was there and he didn't call them sexy or beautiful or a sweet heart. A few weeks ago, I looked at his phone and his facebook messages and I come to find out that he has been calling other girls sexy, beautiful a sweet heart and asking for pics; now about the pics part he said he was just kidding. Now is this considered cheating or is he just being flirtatious and friendly and how do I go about it? I already talked to him about it and I confronted him and all he said was that it's all just for fun and that his not going to ever cheat on me and that i'm all his and his not looking for anyone else. now the reason why I looked at his messages on facebook and text messages on his phone is because I had a feeling that something was up, so I checked and that's what I find. I don't know if I should make a big deal about it or not? what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 I am currently dating somebody Is it established you two are exclusive? Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 For whoever reads this, it is greatly appreciated that you are taking the time to read this. I am currently dating somebody and he is a great guy and he makes me smile and laugh, but I do have a problem with him flirting with his friends that are girls. I have seen him flirt with his friends in front of me and it didn't bother me because I was there and he didn't call them sexy or beautiful or a sweet heart. A few weeks ago, I looked at his phone and his facebook messages and I come to find out that he has been calling other girls sexy, beautiful a sweet heart and asking for pics; now about the pics part he said he was just kidding. Now is this considered cheating or is he just being flirtatious and friendly and how do I go about it? I already talked to him about it and I confronted him and all he said was that it's all just for fun and that his not going to ever cheat on me and that i'm all his and his not looking for anyone else. now the reason why I looked at his messages on facebook and text messages on his phone is because I had a feeling that something was up, so I checked and that's what I find. I don't know if I should make a big deal about it or not? what do you guys think? If you both have an agreement that you are exclusive, then his flirting is inappropriate. I would explain to him what it means to be exclusive: You don't flirt with other girls. You don't call them, Email them, or ask for their picture. You are supposed to have your picture as a couple on his facebook page, and he's not supposed to be having all these interactions with these other girls on there. Tell him if he's not ready for an exclusive relationship, and wants to be able to do those things, then he needs to tell you, and you will back off and date other guys as well. Set the boundaries. You have the right to know where you stand, and to have these expectations from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author malouski5286 Posted July 19, 2011 Author Share Posted July 19, 2011 Is it established you two are exclusive? yes it is. we are committed in this relationship. we were engaged, but now with this whole thing went down we are just dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author malouski5286 Posted July 19, 2011 Author Share Posted July 19, 2011 If you both have an agreement that you are exclusive, then his flirting is inappropriate. I would explain to him what it means to be exclusive: You don't flirt with other girls. You don't call them, Email them, or ask for their picture. You are supposed to have your picture as a couple on his facebook page, and he's not supposed to be having all these interactions with these other girls on there. Tell him if he's not ready for an exclusive relationship, and wants to be able to do those things, then he needs to tell you, and you will back off and date other guys as well. Set the boundaries. You have the right to know where you stand, and to have these expectations from him. yes we are exclusive. We are committed in this relationship. I thought we were anyway and I still think that we are committed in this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 yes we are exclusive. We are committed in this relationship. I thought we were anyway and I still think that we are committed in this relationship. Then tell him what it means to be exclusive. Sounds like he's not ready to be exclusive with anyone. Define it for him. Some men are clueless and need to be told. Set the boundaries, and enforce them. You have the right. He wouldn't want you to behave that way with other men, I'm sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author malouski5286 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 Then tell him what it means to be exclusive. Sounds like he's not ready to be exclusive with anyone. Define it for him. Some men are clueless and need to be told. Set the boundaries, and enforce them. You have the right. He wouldn't want you to behave that way with other men, I'm sure. yes very true, i'm still thinking all this through and figuring things out and see where i stand with him. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 yes very true, i'm still thinking all this through and figuring things out and see where i stand with him. Yes, find out where you stand with him. Tell him "I thought you wanted to be exclusive, but maybe I misunderstood your intentions." If he says he wants to be, then tell him he'll need to curtail the flirting and the Emailing of other women, because that's not how partners are supposed to behave with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
keepsmilin74 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 "he wouldn't want you to behave that way with other men." Yes, that is worth discussing. Would he want to see that the other way? Link to post Share on other sites
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