dont know !

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okay. so i dated this guy for about 9 months. He wasn't the best guy. everyone knew he had issues, he was mean, kind of a loner. I started talking to him, we talked for about 3 months before we dated. we would get in fights, even when we were just talking. so a few times i called it off, said i didnt want to do it anymore. One time while we called it off he asked out another girl, the other issue was he kissed another girl. i didnt know these things till later so i dated him later. I heard from a few people about it, confronted him, he denied it so i dropped it. We had to do long distance for a bit, i had somethings to do. i came back and we had a great summer together, but it had to end because he had to go to college. We decided to do long distance, i didnt want to but he convinced me. everytime i brought up just breaking up hed get really emotional about it so i figured if he really wants it, then its worth a shot. we had a really emotional goodbye, we both cried. The day after he leaves i find out about the 2 girls, he continues to lie, until i show him the proof of it. then he admits it, i almost break up with him because i cant trust him and hes going to college! but he convinces me he'll never lie again. i figured it was before us so it doesnt matter. but that was the start of the trust issues, i became very paranoid of everything. He would go out id question it. There was one night i asked him who he was talking to he says "carly", the next morning i wake up and hes at her dorm for like 8 hours straight. he didnt do anything with her, but that doesnt help the trust issues. Another inncident was when he was hanging out with this girl and flirted with her over text and lied about all of it. Then he lied about others girls texting him to make me jealous. But after all this he never went out, he would go to his classes, gym, and dorm to prove he wasnt doing anything wrong, to earn my trust back. I find out about all the texts and flirthing and we break up, not for very long. we get back together, and i keep having this feeling he cheated. so he proves he didnt, he messages all the girls and they all are like [COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR]? but they do all have the same answer. he was never a cheater. He decides he wants to transfer back to my state, to a community college because he missed me too much. he was all set to transfer, then i find out he lied about doing stuff with another girl before i ever knew him. i was pissed, why would he lie about something so meaningless when hes trying to get me to trust him? we broke up for a few days and then got back together because he was moving back so i figured it was worth a shot. When he got back we just fought all the time, i questioned everything because i never could trust him when hes constantly lying. he lied literally the whole 9 months we were together. Since we fought all the time i broke up with him again, i couldnt handle it. He was heartbroken called me day after day to take him back, promised to never lie again. i didnt take him back. overtime everything for him went down hill, he crashed his car, couldnt make it to class, eventually had to drop out, then had to move because there were no job oppurtunities here. he moved and we still talked everyday, never got back together. we were broken up for about 6 months. in that 6months i held so much resentment towards him, i was always angry with him, very mean sometimes. Even when he moved. It was like we were together but we werent. So he moves, and i start just getting mad, he kept suffocating me with trying to get back together. i told him i needed space hed never give it to me, so i just started to ignore him. then he completely bashes me on facebook talks about how i played him for 6 months and how im such a [COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR] and karma is going to get me. My mom of all people is the one who show it to me. i start crying, call him up super upset, and start yelling, we get in a huge argument. At that point i told him i was truly done, and that i never was gonna be with or talk to him again. He keeps calling me and calling me, so i call my guy friend up who i was kind of talking to at the time and he tells him to leave me alone. He also tells my ex how he found me and how he'll never mess up with me like he did. So my ex gets super upset and feels like were truly done, and we dont talk for a few days. Me ex hits me up a week or so later and we talk, i asked him if hes been with any girls he says he has been on a few dates and only kissed the girls. For 2 days he tells me he did nothing but kiss those girls, then later admits he did have sex with one of the girls. It hurt a lot, it was his first time and he did it with a girl he barely knew. im still in love with him, and hes still in love with me. He said hed do anything to have me back, hed never talk to any girls, stay in the house all day, whatever it takes. I didnt take him up on that, we still talk. And then he lied again about being with the girl he slept with and her parents all day! I could tell he was lying and he admitted it, but he says i never told him not to and he doesnt even know if im going to take him back so he doesnt want to put all his energy into me, understandable. The point is hes still lying! the 6 months until he had sex with that girl he didnt lie or talk to any other girls, but i was still to angry to take him back. now i dont know what to do, i know its partly my fault this happened. im still in love with him and hes still offering me all these things and i know he'll definitely cut all the girls out and do whatever i need him to do. i just dont know what to do, he lies about alot of things, i still dont know if he told me the whole truth. but hes willing to do anything i need him too, except tell the truth? im just confused, i miss him a lot and even with all his issues hes been really good to me. i just dont know if i can overlook everything thats happened.