worldgonewrong Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 You need to cut yourself a fat break, bro. I'm saddened by your parents' lack of support; that's f*cking awful and unfair. That breaks my heart, particularly in your moment of need. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) No its not like that.. they are there if I need them.. i choose to not involve them anymore. They're getting up there and I want them to enjoy their lives. I'm to a point where I don't have the heart to tell them the latest tragic event. My mom still texts me every few days saying she loves me and everything will work out. Edited August 4, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 You are way too hard on yourself. You have been handed a pile of s*** to deal with. You are doing so gracefully as far as I can tell. You will get through this, come on - you know that. Regarding the tickets thing, I got 3 tickets within the past 3 months, NEVER had a speeding ticket before that in my history of driving. Our minds are not in the right place. Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Dad doesn't have his **** together right now.. dad is unemployed, alone, is facing having his license suspended for 60 days for getting 4 tickets in a one year span (hadn't had a ticket in 4yrs prior). Dad still owes lawyers thousands of dollars, is going to have to pay another lawyer to defend him on this reckless driving charge (had my license 25yrs, never had a reckless, dui or accident that was my fault). Dad expects the gecko from Geico to knock on his door, rip up his policy, slap him, and leave. Dad's parents barely talk to him anymore and have lost all confidence in him. Dad is a hot mess. On May 12th 2010 I had everything locked down, married, a good amount of savings, doing great at my job, confident, got to see my son everyday when I came home. That's all gone. And why? Because I procreated and married the wrong "woman". Its a great, big **** sandwich. There is no avoiding it. You have to eat it. But once its done its done. Feel sorry for yourself, wallow in self pity, lock yourself away from the world. But the sandwich is still there, the longer you leave it the bigger it gets. I have learnt a great deal from this whole experince. I saw my ex-sister-in-law the other weekend, she is divorced from my stbxw brother. She went through the same hell as me but didnt have kids. Now she is doing brilliantly. She is married to the nicest guy, great sense of humour, hard working, everyone loves him, he worships the ground she walks on etc. They have a much better and stronger relationship as she learnt from very harsh lessons from her first marriage. But she is glad she went through it all. now her life is so much better than it was and she could ever had imagined. She is also a much stronger person and not a doormat anymore. I could see with my own eyes how much she had grown and changed as a person. She divorced my brother-in-law 6 years ago and met her new husband just under 4 years ago. My sisters fiance divorced 12 years ago and went through hell. He met my sister 10 years ago and they have a great relationship. I see them a couple of times a month and can see how much they are in-love with each other. They both learnt lessons from their first LTR and dont repeat them, instead they both meet each other needs, have great communication with each other and work together as a team. This gives me great hope. People on these boards say things will get better, sort yourself out and the rest will follow. Its sometimes hard to believe it, esp in the dark times. Its even better to see it in real life. SO i know its true. So start today. turn your life around, small steps, small wins and you will be surprised how far you get in a short time. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Thanks for the clarification, MM4. Good to know your parents are still there for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 Yea, my parents are good people and would do anything for me. I'm lucky in that regard. I was raised correctly.. unlike some other people. I'm supposed to vent on here.. I can't even post up my feelings.. they're way too dark. Such a huge mistake meeting with that person yesterday. She still thinks she is getting back that stuff she asked for Sucks to want doesn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 ok to lighten things up a bit lets have a quick quiz!! Get out your scantron sheets! Q: What soul crushing tragedy will befall mm4 next? A. Dog Dies B. Diagnosed w/Cancer C. Condo Burns Down D. All of the Above Eyes on your own paper please!! Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 E. mm4 moves the f*** on and finds a better woman, a better job and a better life in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 And I wouldn't mind hearing the dark feelings, I am sure many of us are feeling them. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 ok to lighten things up a bit lets have a quick quiz!! Get out your scantron sheets! Q: What soul crushing tragedy will befall mm4 next? A. Dog Dies B. Diagnosed w/Cancer C. Condo Burns Down D. All of the Above Eyes on your own paper please!! MM4, through all you are going through, your sense of humour is still there. I went through some really rough times with the xH, and whilst going through that I had a cancerous lump removed. But you know what I got through it, just like you will. I believe in the saying what doesn't kill us makes us stronger Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 E. mm4 moves the f*** on and finds a better woman, a better job and a better life in general. haha you're awesome. thanks for making me laugh. i feel real helpless right now. I'm such a pussy but that "he's better than you" comment she made yesterday hurt. I thought I was stronger than this. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 . I'm such a pussy but that "he's better than you" comment she made yesterday hurt. I thought I was stronger than this. There will come a time when you realise that is a crock of sh$t. It was said to hurt you and it worked. Don't let her control you like that, don't let it upset you. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 haha Glad that made you laugh man but I am dead serious, you are the man - you will be better off. Right now it sucks but that is temporary. For her to even say that... it automatically makes her a gigantic C. What an idiot, so.. a guy who is willing to F a married woman with a child is an awesome guy, yeah... that's right idiot he is much better.. duh! F***! I hate your wife and I don't even know her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 And I wouldn't mind hearing the dark feelings, I am sure many of us are feeling them. oh man.. no these are too dark. i'd lose any supporters I have on this board. i'll have to keep them to myself Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Thanks for the clarification, MM4. Good to know your parents are still there for you. yes - and MM, if you need them for something ask them... foolish pride is not a good to hang on to when you are in a crisis and you need help... if you are concerned that worry may hurt their health that's one thing but if they are ok healthwise then lean on them.... Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 mm4: I understand. Unfortunately I am sure I have some similar feelings, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 haha Glad that made you laugh man but I am dead serious, you are the man - you will be better off. Right now it sucks but that is temporary. For her to even say that... it automatically makes her a gigantic C. What an idiot, so.. a guy who is willing to F a married woman with a child is an awesome guy, yeah... that's right idiot he is much better.. duh! F***! I hate your wife and I don't even know her. RIGHT??? This reinforces that everyone on her side (family, friends etc) are complete rubes with no moral compass WHATSOEVER. Oh honey, I'm so glad you cheated on your husband and father of your child with your coworker, dumped him, and set your hooks into some douche who has been divorced twice, commit adultery with him, and move in with him 3mos after meeting his sorry ass! Oh and the whole lying about everything, that was just the icing on the cake! I'm SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! **smooch** Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Yep... straight up losers, both of them. At least you know they have a relationship built on nothing more than lies, deception and complete stupidity. The next good serious relationship you get involved in is going to SMASH your previous one into the ground, I can guarantee it. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 And I wouldn't mind hearing the dark feelings, I am sure many of us are feeling them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb517cREJKk Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 you'd be surprised what good stand up people will say in certain situations. i was accused of having an affair after our separation. i didn't. but, he still accused me of it. my one girl friend said something along the lines of, " well, if you're getting accused of it you should just go do it!" the problem with that statement is THAT"S NOT who i am! i am not that person!!! i said no sex period while i'm legally married and i have stuck to that and plan to continue to stick to that. despite everyone and their mom telling me that the thing i REALLY need now is a GOOD you know what! ( yeah, it's been 2 yrs....... everyone feels REALLY sorry for me, LOL). my point is that people hear what they want to hear and see what they want to see. if she fills their heads with her version of reality, what else could they know? plus, loads of people have affairs. every single day! i heard an awful story today from a friend that truthfully has me doubting i will ever trust someone with my heart ever again........... purest form of ugly and infidelity i can imagine! i vote E. in your test too. your life will get better. i know mine is better than it was a year ago. better than it was 6 mo ago. is it close to being what i want it to be?? no. but it's better!!! my E choice would include " having a friend that is kid free for an entire week if you want someone to hang out with! someone to unload those icky dark thoughts on....." some of the steps you're taking in this.... is letting that OM be the better person ( in her mind). you're making this an easy win for him. YOU be the better person! YOU make that choice and show everyone that she left a GOOD man!! Link to post Share on other sites
TroyNJ Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I swear MM4 and I must have married sisters....Hey mm4, I'm in south jersey just over the delaware memorial bridge, how bout taking a road trip up to compare notes....I'll supply the beer! Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I swear MM4 and I must have married sisters....Hey mm4, I'm in south jersey just over the delaware memorial bridge, how bout taking a road trip up to compare notes....I'll supply the beer! well, I guess they were triplets because the games and hurtful words that are thrown at mm are so similar to what my ex did to me many years ago... I remember losing my home, filing for a bk and being forced to be a part-time dad and then getting told by her to "get a life"... how f-d up is that? that is why I know the pain mm is going through.... but guess what? let me tell you all that you can re-build!!!! 16 years later I own my own home again - she is broke with another failed marriage under her belt and heading half way across the country to mess up someone else's life.... Always be there for your kids! Never bash the ex or her new guy in front of the kids - EVER! you will all be better for this and no matter what the ex does and in about a year, maybe two (and no that is NOT an eternity) you won't even care how good or how bad her life is... I'm living proof that we heal and do better... If anyone read my story they would know that I did give her a second chance, but once she crossed the boundary she was booted, 16 years ago I wouldn't have had the balls to do that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 I swear MM4 and I must have married sisters....Hey mm4, I'm in south jersey just over the delaware memorial bridge, how bout taking a road trip up to compare notes....I'll supply the beer! Haha.. Troy I feel your pain.. not sure what we did to end up with such despicable people. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Haha.. Troy I feel your pain.. not sure what we did to end up with such despicable people. we made bad choices Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 I think one thing that has been hampering my recovery is fighting the fact that my ex really is as selfish, uncaring and callous as she really is. My insides keep hoping she'll grow a conscience and see how bad she has f-ed me over and hurt our son. This will never happen. She's playing the abuse card and putting all her eggs in this OM's basket. I can never forgive her for throwing me under the bus like this, never. She never loved ME.. she loved everything I gave her. Now she has a new sucker to bleed dry.. we'll see how long it'll take him to figure it out. My intuition was dead on.. I felt trapped but didn't know what to do because I didn't want to lose my son. In a fight I recall saying something about how this would've been over a while ago if not for him (our son). I've never put in so much effort into something and had it end so horrifically bad. Link to post Share on other sites
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