How Can I "Respect Her Relationship" with OM??

[marqueemoon4]

^^ I think I need to buy some of this stuff.. will solve all my problems.

[TroyNJ]

^^ I think I need to buy some of this stuff.. will solve all my problems.

 

LMAO!!!!!! Yeah bro that will fix everything!

[Surfer203]

Keep it strong mm4. You can get through this s*** man, I'm sure of it. Have a nice weekend, do something fun and/or treat yourself.

[marqueemoon4]

"I'm well over caring what you think about anything. I'm happy, and thats all that matters"

 

these were the words that my ex wife said today after I took my son for the day at short notice this morning at 8:45am. She called at 8:20am and said he was sick and said she didn't want to take him to daycare and asked if I could take him, which I gladly did. This was when I handed him off at 3pm.

 

this person is without question the most selfish, disgusting human being I have ever met. she can conveniently lie to herself about ANYTHING to make herself feel better. she doesn't feel a bit bad about cheating on me, trying to take my son away for 2yrs which she failed at, or shacking up with a twice divorce POS in under 6mos of separation. I can honestly say, I've never met a worse excuse for a human being.

[itllgetbetter]

marqueemoon4: It was nice of you to take your son on such short notice - and he was undoubtedly better looked after than had he stayed the day with his mom; and I'm sure he enjoyed it more being with you.

[marqueemoon4]

marqueemoon4: It was nice of you to take your son on such short notice - and he was undoubtedly better looked after than had he stayed the day with his mom; and I'm sure he enjoyed it more being with you.

 

thank you. i believe he does, he never wants to go back to his mom. who knows, he could be saying the same thing to her.

 

there are no answers. all i know is that his mother obviously (duh) doesn't care about any of this, and only cares about her happiness. and since she is more important to me as a parent, its only her happiness that counts.

 

this feels like a checkmate situation, one where I'll never be able to be happy under the circumstances. i hate that my son is living with this OM, I'll never be happy not being in my sons life on a daily basis. i am in the worst trouble of my life and I have no idea how to get out of it. i have no desire to do anything. i cannot function to do what I need to do, like effectively find a job, or anything else for that matter. its pretty hopeless at this point.

[andyg99]

"I'm well over caring what you think about anything. I'm happy, and thats all that matters"

 

 

why would she even say that? you just picked up your son, right?

 

Please take care of yourself - it's not hopeless, remember - you need to put on your oxygen mask BEFORE you put one on your boy... know what I mean?

[itllgetbetter]

marqueemoon4: Your son's young (sorry, can't recall his exact age - somewhere b/w 3-6 years old?) Don't they say if you want the truth, ask someone who's drunk or a child? So, I doubt your son's saying the same thing to his mom.

 

I'm sure your son senses that his mom's attention is focused on OM and that wouldn't make him feel better (sorry about this last bit - it's not actually meant to make you feel worse but perhaps it does).

 

Re not knowing how to get out of the "worst" trouble of your life that you're in: I think if you read some of the posts on this thread, and in particular those of Andyg99 and debtman's, that may help you in dealing with this situation. You also said previously that your family is a good support system for you, so, speak to them as needed - if they don't live too far away, visit them.

 

Maybe brisk walking is in order if jogging/running's not your thing? Maybe some PM's with those you feel you're connecting with, to see if they live in the same city as you do and can get together?

 

Re the job: You need to be positive about this - easier said than done I know. Have you found a good head hunter? Can you make a list of some places you can apply to? Is your resume in order? Baby steps here - perhaps the easiest way to go is to start with the easier things first, then do the harder ones, so you can feel you've accomplished something?

[marqueemoon4]

thanks for the tips IGB

[itllgetbetter]

marqueemoon4: I'm better at giving advice than following advice.

 

I'm sorry to reiterate, but, you're very lucky that your family's supportive of your situation. And your son's lucky to have a dad like you. A couple of more ideas:

 

a) Maybe you could do some projects if around the house - nothing huge - just organizing stuff - personally, I find scrubbing sinks VERY therapeutic; organizing some drawers (these are easy/inexpensive projects);

 

b) Volunteer a couple of hours a week at a set date/time.

 

Maybe you could, if you're so inclined, keep us updated on what you're doing re the job front - resumes sent out/headhunters, etc?

[marqueemoon4]

IGB.. I will update any happenings on the job front. I'd also like to update some drama from tuesday, after I had taken my son on short notice.

 

When I dropped him off I told her that I could no longer afford to pay COBRA ($900mo) so as of Oct 1 he was not covered. I had asked her a week earlier to check with her work to see how much it would cost to add him to her insurance until I can find a job. She said she would look into it. A week later I text her and asked if she had any luck finding out how much it would cost. No response.

 

So going back to tuesday, when I dropped him off and mentioned I could no longer do COBRA, I asked in person if she had gotten any info from whoever handles insurance at her work (chain massage therapy place). She said I don't have insurance through work. I was like ok, who do you have insurance through? She said I'm on OMs insurance. I said, ummm, how does that work, you're not married. Apparently he some magical insurance that allows her to be on it because they live together. This obviously hurt, but whatever. She had this smug stupid look on her face like F you.

 

I asked her if when she said she'd "think about" her and I talking w/o my son present (she said this a few weeks back), whether she meant that or just said that to shut me up. She said she meant it. I made a mistake here, and was like do you see what this is doing? Do you see all the damage it is causing? I was obviously upset and my mouth started getting dry. She stood there with a stupid look on her face.. this is when she went into the whole I am way past caring about what you think of me thing and how she is happy and she refuses to feel like a horrible person because she is happy and sorry it upsets you etc etc etc and how are son was doing just fine. I said how could you possibly be "happy" by cheating, lying and screwing over someone else, someone who did everything for you for 8yrs? As for our son, you had him living with another man a few months after separation. She said you couldn't possibly expect me to be alone forever (LOL). Um, no but moving in with this OM pos after 4-5mos of separation, when HE is separated and working on his 2nd divorce, and lying about it over and over?? REALLY? Could that be any more Jerry Springer? I asked what her family thought of all this, and she said they were fine (she loves that word) with it and are glad she is happy. Whatever.

 

Then, predictably, she pulled the "ok I'm leaving" thing.. I said fine, and calmly walked to my car and drove away. Later I stupidly texted her numerous times saying I hope you know your cruelty will come around on you someday etc etc. I prob text like 10-15 msgs over a 1hr span. Stuff like you really think this is funny don't you etc. I know, counter productive. She txt back once and said no I don't think its funny I'm trying to figure out how to get health insurance for my son! I said under the circumstances if bf has insurance allows it have him add him. She said its YOUR responsibility. I told her under VA law if I cannot afford health insurance (which I can't att) it falls under her if she has the means.

 

I spoke to my dad about it, he had done research and found this out, and had wanted me to tell her, hence why I mentioned it a week earlier. I told him she is completely unreasonable and DOES NOT CARE at all and there is no way she'll listen to me. He called her an hour later, he reported back that she was nasty and unreasonable (duh), and kept saying HE NEEDS TO GET A JOB and ITS HIS RESPONSIBILITY etc etc. My dad is incredibly calm, and restated what the law is. She emailed her lawyer and text me saying you need to get COBRA back in place or any medical expenses he accrues will come out of YOUR pocket. Wrong.

 

She is going out of town today with her bf, her 30th bday is sunday. A week ago she so graciously offered for me to have my son even though its her long weekend. Keep in mind she has offered him to me on her time at least on 3 occasions and I said something she didn't like and she took it off the table, basically punishing me by using my son against me. Also, he was to have a counseling session today (thursday). So yesterday (wed) I txt her and said could you cancel the appt, they probably need 24hrs notice. She text back and said I already did thanks. And she took away me having him over the weekend, saying her mother would drop him off thursday and pick him up friday. I responded by saying interesting, so you're gonna use my son against me yet again because of an insurance issue. Thats really classy, what exactly does any of that have to do with him? She came back saying it was because of my nasty texts (?) and that if I didn't act like a "psycho" she wouldn't have to. And that who knows what I would say to our son and fill his head with? Nice excuse. THESE PEOPLE ARE DELUSIONAL. So then this is the conversation that followed:

 

.........

 

her: (why she was rescinding her offer to have my son this weekend) because of your ridiculous texts.. and you forget the fact you can't control your emotions when you're pissed about something

 

me: I'm not pissed at all, I'm suffering because I miss my son, his mother doesn't care and has him living with some dude.

 

me: (going back to her statement that her family was "fine" with everything she's done) they don't know you tried to take my son from me for 2yrs out of spite? Or that you were cheating with xxxx (coworker) when we were living together do they?

 

me: I'm the monster though. and you mom wonders why he's confused when you have him living with another guy a few months after you left? who was also separated? are you kidding me lol. so Springer

 

me: take a look in the mirror for once in your life

 

her: grow up xxxx. you will have (our son) your normal time this weekend. my mom will do pickup/dropoff. end of discussion

 

me: grow up? I can take responsibility for my actions. you clearly cannot.

keep running from your issues.

 

her: stop texting me now. look for a job, get insurance for your son, and then maybe you can be adult enough to talk (LOL)

 

me: hah, whatever. I have 11yrs exp in the IT field and a BA. you leech off men. keep it up. pathetic

 

her: Yeah.. you got me there. Take that 11yrs exp and your BA and get a job. Whats taking so long?

 

me: its been 2mos

 

me: Its not like getting a job at a strip mall massage parlor.

 

her: 2 months is too long. im sure that xbox is getting a workout

 

me: i don't answer to you. you have no perspective because you can even live without the help of a man. i supported you, our son and ME for over 3yrs. so believe what you want

 

her: Haha nice one xxxx.. i hear COD calling your name, go play.

 

me: no thanks

 

her: You should be proud (?)

 

me: I am

 

me: I'm a good father and my son loves me. I know you hate that.

 

her: Yea, you got me again. You're on a roll. Stop texting. Don't you have a fish tank or a car that needs cleaning?

 

me: I don't care about those things so whatever. believe what you want

 

me: I spent 8yrs of my life, so much caring, memories, money, and supported you through everything and nothing I did was ever enough.

 

her: coulda fooled me, you did for 8yrs

 

me: you are right. at times I had my priorities wrong. I'm sorry for that

 

me: I loved you. I love our son. I wish I could've done better.

 

me: my attitude was not right. I'm working to better myself.

 

her: well you didn't. now, I have laundry to do and I need to pack so bye.

 

me: ok, that was mean. but if it makes you feel good being so hateful.

 

1hr 15 minutes later:

 

me: one final thing, I don't say anything about you to our son. He asks me if u are hurting me and I reassure him you aren't. I also reinforce that he needs to respect you and listen to what you say. Thats the straight truth. That will not change no matter how awful you act.

 

(((no response)))

 

 

3hrs later

 

her: xxx (OM) is putting him on the policy tomorrow

 

I don't respond

 

2hrs later

 

her: can you please give my mom some of the albuterol when she picks him up? I'm running out.

 

I don't respond. I don't WTF she is talking about, I have never had that stuff, she has always gotten it.

[marqueemoon4]

So obviously, this back and forth with this person tuesday and wed caused me further emotional turmoil. I talked to my dad for hours and was crying and saying things like "i can't live like this anymore" and how I have never seen such blatant cruelty and hate (I haven't). This b*tch only cares for herself, etc etc etc. He's like I know, she is NOT A NICE PERSON. We know that, we've known that for a long time. She clearly doesn't give a F about you, you're letting her control your emotions and you're giving her all the power and she's exploiting it, and will continue to anytime she has a chance. He obviously tries to help me and knows this has destroyed me inside for 16 months and made me act totally out of character. I had called a crisis line at a mental facility earlier in the day and the woman was very kind and helpful. She said I should find a therapist that is GOOD and I can trust who can help. Of course, I don't have insurance and am flat broke, so yet another roadblock.

 

I truly cannot do this anymore, I've had enough. I have a new plan and this person IS NOT getting to me anymore. Pathetically, I'm in such a bad state emotionally that I actually *liked* the fact she was texting me saying and making accusations instead of just ignoring me. THAT IS SICK. I'm breaking down and tearing up just typing this. I may have not been the most considerate person before all this and I needed to improve myself, but damn, I have fallen so far. I used to tell exW when we were together that there is no way anyone can hurt me emotionally. She knew the only way she could get to me was leaving and never coming back due to my abandonment issue, which I'm almost positive is due to me being adopted.

 

I AM NOT talking to this person AT ALL unless there is a REAL emergency with our son. Any of her texts like "give my son a hug and tell him mommy misses him" when I have him will be IGNORED. For Gods sake this person and anyone associated with her are the ENEMY, and will be treated as such going forward. I HAVE TO TAKE MY POWER BACK. I have to accept that THIS IS THE WAY IT IS, for better or WORSE and I GODDAMNIT I CAN'T CHANGE IT. I have to accept the terms of visitation, but I WILL NOT BE USED AS A BABYSITTER SO THIS PERSON CAN DO WHAT SHE WANTS. Next time she asks me to take him on her time I am saying I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM BUT SORRY I AM BUSY. I love time with my son but this is just what I have to do. F her birthday, f being friendly, f going out of my way to do things for her that are HER RESPONSIBILITY. And I wont say a word like "i can't do that" I will simply IGNORE HER. I SHOULD NEVER WANT TO TALK TO THIS PERSON ABOUT ANYTHING BUT OUR SON, EVERR. Its so counterproductive. Yes, I know there are tens of pages of people saying the same thing on this and numerous other threads. Apparently I'm dense. I am focusing on ME and what I WANT. She was NEVER WHAT I WANTED. She was NOT a good wife. She fulfilled NONE of my needs and just took and took. She has ME taking all the blame while she is off doing whatever with her BF. ENOUGH. I am DONE with this.

[marqueemoon4]

Omg I can't believe I typed all that this morning. No wonder no one has replied

[LifesontheUp]

I AM NOT talking to this person AT ALL unless there is a REAL emergency with our son.

 

Yep, best thing you have posted. Everytime you react to her, that healing wound of yours is being picked open again.

 

Now stick to it MM4 and let the healing being properly.

 

Good luck

[Surfer203]

Make what you typed above STICK this time. I don't want to see you back tracking again. Get your head on straight. This woman is evil and should be banished from your life other than dealing with regarding parenting issues. That's it - leave it at that for your own sanity.

 

I think once you get a job again your head will be able to shift off of your own issues and focus on the future. Make job hunting your priority, your son and yourself of course too, but job hunting should be big for you.

 

You can do it man - you made a great life for yourself before and you WILL do it again.

 

No BS, no excuses. You are the man, take your power back and live your life the way you want to now. Best of luck my friend!

[jaymz]

I know its hard but you have got to do the 180 and LC. I have and I am so much better for it and if I can do it and get the positive changes then you can too.

 

Here is to a new life and a better adventure!

[worldgonewrong]

dude, I'm going to tell you what you already know, but here goes:

 

don't engage her or expose your soul to her AT ALL.

 

see, everytime you do, you're not living YOUR life. Your conveying the message that your life is still inextricably bound to her, when you engage her in txt talk or whatever.

AND what's worse is that she's getting off on it.

You're in effect telling her, "You still have this power over me" and so she exercises that power by breaking your heart every damn time. It's like your willingly putting your head inside the lion's mouth -- and I speak from experience w/my own wife.

She's also kicking you while you're (momentarily) down job-wise; now's not the time to hand over the emotional reins to her in ANY shape or form. Now's the time to project confidence (whether you FEEL it inside or not) so she can't chip away at you and smugly confirm, "See, I did the right thing by ditching him."

If you keep on this way, emotionally, you're subconsciously like trying to prove to her how right she was and how wrong you were and still holding out that she's gonna see the light JUST by virtue of you being an upstanding guy.

THE BIG POINT: You are an upstanding guy with or without her. She does not appreciate an upstanding guy. Therefore don't let her be the judge of you in any way, don't feed into it, because what's the value of her opinion now? Zilch!

And trying to convey to her how wrong she's been, well, you're just digging a deeper hole, getting more frustrated 'cause you're not seeing the results you want in your heart.

Your rational mind is at war with your giving heart -- I completely understand this. But you gotta stop these kamikaze missions because she doesn't give a flying you-know-what and she most likely gets her rocks off seeing you in pain. Stop empowering her, and empower yourself.

The job thing is a SETBACK, and it will pass. In the end, you are the guy you were before you met her: upstanding and caring. Nobody can take that away from you, and in time, as your son grows older, he'll see that, clear as day.

[buckeye]

MM4, While I don't feel qualified, I'm still struggling too. I've been through this arguing back & forth at the beginning of my separation and divorce. You can not win this argument. I believe once they've made up their mind, it's done. It's over. Hurts like hell, but no amount of arguing, no amount of reasoning, no amount of pleading, & no amount of name calling will ever win them back, period. Like you, I have to have contact because of a child, but for me, that's it. It has been very difficult for me too. I miss the woman I fell in love with, but that woman no longer exists. A very good friend once told me " you can't reason with a monkey". While I know they're are not stupid monkeys, the end game is the same. I wish you luck, healing & peace.

[andyg99]

Comments in BOLD

 

I had called a crisis line at a mental facility earlier in the day and the woman was very kind and helpful. She said I should find a therapist that is GOOD and I can trust who can help. Of course, I don't have insurance and am flat broke, so yet another roadblock.

 

Put you pride aside and borrow the money from your dad and follow through with therapy, you really need it now and you know it.

 

I truly cannot do this anymore, I've had enough. I have a new plan and this person IS NOT getting to me anymore. Pathetically, I'm in such a bad state emotionally that I actually *liked* the fact she was texting me saying and making accusations instead of just ignoring me. THAT IS SICK. I'm breaking down and tearing up just typing this. I may have not been the most considerate person before all this and I needed to improve myself, but damn, I have fallen so far. I used to tell exW when we were together that there is no way anyone can hurt me emotionally. She knew the only way she could get to me was leaving and never coming back due to my abandonment issue, which I'm almost positive is due to me being adopted.

 

I may be wrong but I don't think she is trying to "get to you" - you have admitted that she only cares about herself - she is just doing what she wants and you are occasionally in her way

 

Next time she asks me to take him on her time I am saying I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM BUT SORRY I AM BUSY. I love time with my son but this is just what I have to do. F her birthday, f being friendly, f going out of my way to do things for her that are HER RESPONSIBILITY. And I wont say a word like "i can't do that" I will simply IGNORE HER. I SHOULD NEVER WANT TO TALK TO THIS PERSON ABOUT ANYTHING BUT OUR SON, EVERR. Its so counterproductive. Yes, I know there are tens of pages of people saying the same thing on this and numerous other threads. Apparently I'm dense. I am focusing on ME and what I WANT. She was NEVER WHAT I WANTED. She was NOT a good wife. She fulfilled NONE of my needs and just took and took. She has ME taking all the blame while she is off doing whatever with her BF. ENOUGH. I am DONE with this.

 

this is why you need help ASAP!!!! she may be trying to "push" your boy on you when she has something to do but what you wrote above pretty much says you will play that game too and use him!! Yes, that's exactly what you are saying! the ONLY excuse one can give to the other parent is that they can't watch the child because of work - THERE IS NO OTHER EXCUSE!!! you should jump at any chance to spend more time with your child!! Wo cares what she is doing... Please, please take care of yourself - lean on your dad, he seems to be a good man to have on your side now!

 

[marqueemoon4]

Thank you everyone for the kind, thoughtful responses. WGW you are spot on and I know you're going through something similar and are doing great. I admire your strength. I feel stupid because I keep making the same mistakes over and over (and over).

 

Basically.. I jump through hoops STILL for her, helping out with my son, subconsciously hoping that she will see that I HAVE changed alot. She doesn't care, and I shouldn't care what she thinks. Her and her family are going to jump all over me every chance they get trying to make me look like a bad person and irresponsible father. Well, I'm not. I'm going through a very difficult time, and the people who MATTER like my dad, mom, sister, friends and people on this board know thats not the case.

 

The sooner I realize this person will never treat me with the respect I deserve, or see my value the better off I will be. My dad made an analogy that its like a Red Sox fan going to a Yankees fan trying to get empathy from them. Its not gonna happen.

 

I will not do anything to help her or be there for her anymore in any way. I will make the absolute best of my court ordered time with my son and continue to better myself. Falling into her trap of extra time with my son is her dangling a carrot in front of me only to snatch it away. Its her trying to exercise control over me by using our son, and obviously its despicable. I won't stand for it anymore. I'm not even calling what I'm going to do LC, its NC that will be broken only for emergencies. I will no longer be nice and friendly to her. I won't be mean either, just completely indifferent.

 

I know I'm a good person and as wgw said an stand up guy. I don't deserve to be treated like some expendable piece of trash by ANYONE. Putting her on a pedestal for being the mother of my child is counter productive, as she doesn't give a flying f**k that I'm his father. Thats all for now.

Edited October 8, 2011 by marqueemoon4

[andyg99]

me: one final thing, I don't say anything about you to our son. He asks me if u are hurting me and I reassure him you aren't. I also reinforce that he needs to respect you and listen to what you say. Thats the straight truth. That will not change no matter how awful you act.

 

.

 

it's very concerning that your young son would ask you if his mom is hurting you... you may not be saying anything but your actions are doing otherwise... you have to accept that you have a life and she has a life, I won't jump on the bandwagon of bashing her either, she did wrong, we all agree with you on that but you have to move forward - this is serious... please think about what I just wrote, your son should not be asking those kind of questions. And another reason you must heal - he may be asking you this because of something SHE said - YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ***** TOGETHER SO YOU CAN BE LEVEL HEADED ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WHEN HE'S AT HIS MOM'S!!! did that come through loud and clear!!! LOL! In reality he's probably happy with her - he needs to be happy with you too, but my point is YOU need to be his dad, someone he sees as a rock, but I think he is seeing you in a way no child should see their parent... I'm really rooting for you, please keep pursuing that help you need!

[marqueemoon4]

Andy.. I don't think he asked that because of something she said, I'm sure in a moment of weakness over the last 6mos I stated aloud that your mommy is hurting me. Thats bad, I know. Its almost like he's all I have and I was trying to explain why I was emotional and crying. It sincerely was not to turn him against her, but I'm sure thats what she thinks.

 

Since the drama last wed I have not spoken or text a word to her. Her birthday came and went. Obviously I will not say a word about it, only make me look like a bigger fool. I will continue to be NC unless there is a real emergency that requires we communicate. Anytime I say anything to her positive or otherwise she takes that opportunity to kick me in the groin. Clearly this sets back the healing process, and I can't subject myself to it anymore. It made me feel like crap that her bf added my son to his insurance, though for him this was the best option right now. I can't worry about what she thinks of that because I know that I am responsible, just going through a very hard time, so she can believe whatever she wants. I'm not letting her take my power away anymore.

 

Really what it comes down to is the people who know me and care about me know the truth, that I'm a caring, generous, loving person. The other side of my sons family will do everything they can to demonize me, make me look like a bad person and bad father. I can't worry about that or let it affect me. I have to do the right things and get myself back on my feet somehow. For me. For my son. For our future. I have to turn this around.. I have to get control of my emotions and do the right things.

[andyg99]

I like what I'm hearing from you mm - keep that mindset and you WILL feel better as things hurt less and less each day..

[marqueemoon4]

thanks Andy.. as always I appreciate your support and spot on advice.

 

 

I was thinking last night while unable to sleep.. what makes me CRAZY and how this person will never stop doing this, hence why I have to continue with permanent, strict NC.

 

Have you ever dealt with someone who accuses you of things they CLEARLY do themselves? I understand there is no way to go through this life without being hypocritical about some things, but this is to a level that would make anyone lose their sh*t. Here are some examples:

 

1. saying *I* have a selective memory when they have completely rewritten history and focus on about 10% of the overall events in an 8yr relationship.

 

2. accusing me of being "cruel" when their actions are the definition of cruel

 

3. judging or being hypercritical of someone when they have no business whatsoever to do so. how in thee hell can someone say I'm irresponsible and not being an "adult" when this person has never supported even herself for 5 minutes after I supported myself, her and our child for over 3yrs??

 

4. cheating and lying. two things I don't do.

 

5. when stating obvious FACTS in a non hostile manner, someone claims that I'm VERBALLY ATTACKING them. I stated "you cheated on me with XXX". She straight up did, while we were married and together. Truth you don't want to hear is NOT a verbal attack. now if I stepped to calling her a hoe/tramp/slut whatever (which I NEVER have) that would be a verbal attack.

 

 

The list goes on and on, and is just proof positive why I must never talk to this person again unless an emergency about our child. Day 10 of NC and I'm never looking back. I wish my sons mom wasn't insane, but I can't change that.

[BrettLost]

Hey mate,

 

You're goin great dude. I don't get the re-written history thing either. Like she magically thinks YOU have forgotton all the effort and work you put in to keeping it all running, the oil on the gears if you will. When they have to oil their own running gear, they'l know.

My bet is it'l be some cheap grade super low viscosity cooking oil thats gonna clog that ****t up. HAHA.

 

They're just words, but when said with intent and emotion behind them, she can bring out your pride and start a war. You know the truth, congrats on the successful NC thus far.