jaymz Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I think you are having one very lucky escape. Wont know how far she is gone until she has it, then you will know. Might be an idea to think of the last times you had sex, just in case she tries to say its yours... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 I think you are having one very lucky escape. Wont know how far she is gone until she has it, then you will know. Might be an idea to think of the last times you had sex, just in case she tries to say its yours... Yeah, living the rest of my life with a nutbag like her would be pure torture. I hate that I have to see her at all and how this will negatively impact my son. We haven't had sex since Apr/May 2010. I'm way clear on that. No, she is basically doing the same thing over she did with me in 06. She must be afraid to lose this guy, so she gave him the "oh my birth control is making me sick speech".. she goes off and boom she's knocked up. Or bf feels he's running out of time to have a kid and wanted her to get pregnant. Who knows, its not my business, but my God any SANE person could see this is a recipe for disaster. Whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 did u guys miss that my exW is preggers already? Meaning this child was technically conceived before we were divorced? It's obv none of my business but I must ask -- WTFFFFFFF well, she was doing this guy so I guess her getting pregnant was a possibility... so no need to give here a WTF... she is so low that she doesn't even deserve a WTF! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I have no idea how to feel. I do know finding this out is just more pain. Every time I think things couldn't get worse, somehow they do. I'm at a complete loss. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 She's no longer your responsibility or concern, except as regards to your son. She's continued to exhibit herself as a selfish, manipulative, careless person (e.g. bringing ANOTHER kid into this world when she can barely handle the 1st one). Be GLAD she's out of the picture now. Yeah, I know - I'd be berserk inside if I discovered the same about my stbx-spouse, but you gotta let it gooooo. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I know... she was never my Rushmore anyway Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 mm4, I suppose it's all a matter of perspective and interpretation. The more I found out about what my stbx was/had been doing and the more insanity and poor decision making she exhibited, the more I realized how lucky I was to have gotten out of the M. And, the more it showed me how much my kids needed me to be the good, stable influence on their lives. Just remember, it could be way worse...you could be OM... Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 You are absolutely correct sir. I have to continue to remind myself of that. Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 did u guys miss that my exW is preggers already? Meaning this child was technically conceived before we were divorced? It's obv none of my business but I must ask -- WTFFFFFFF Ah, I guess I missed the timing on that...wow...you're lucky you got out. Probably doesn't seem like it right now (although it might), but, a few years down the road, when you've pulled things back together, you'll be able to see how things will continue to fall apart for her. Sorry your son is going to have to experience all her insanity first-hand, but, it just goes to show you how much he needs you to be the responsible, stable role-model for him. He's lucky in that regard. Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 Things coming apart for her in the future is pure speculation. As much as it has devastated my son and I, maybe she really has found happiness and is better for all this. I know things were not good in our marriage, for any of us. I have to live with the consequences.. this is the cold and unforgiving aspect of life. I wasn't prepared for it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
fltc Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I have to live with the consequences.. this is the cold and unforgiving aspect of life. I wasn't prepared for it at all. Nobody ever is but..... you're going to be OK. It'll take some more time but you seem to be thinking clearly now. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I have no idea how to feel. I do know finding this out is just more pain. Every time I think things couldn't get worse, somehow they do. I'm at a complete loss. One day you will wake up and you will feel differently, it might not be tomorrow or next week, but it will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 MM4, I feel debtman's take on perspective. After seeing her actions/decision making skills from the outside looking in, I am glad I am not a part of the course it is going to run. It has no plan or direction, its just a train with no tracks. I agree with you where they "could" (thats a BIG could) actually fall into a better relationship than the one they had with us. BUT, we all know our exs through and through, not just the rosy exterior she portrays(im sure thats a word?) which is sweeping OM of his feet, most likely vise versa applies too. If my ex got preg with OM, id have massive night out to celebrate and grin for ***cin ages. OM'd have HUGE shoes to fill, constantly compared to the outstanding job you have already done with your kids, as part of a family aswell as through the separation jungle as WGW has put it. Give yourself a break mate. You're doing all u can do. Link to post Share on other sites
aniahunks Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 You don't have to respect her or anything she does. Her relationship with a dirtbag especially. No reason why you should. She didn't even respect herself. So you don't have a reason to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 She didn't even respect herself. So you don't have a reason to do it. She thinks she is respecting herself by cutting me out of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 I had my son for 5hrs today, we had alot of fun. Dropped him off at 5pm, his mother was hiding her left hand in her jacket pocket pretty obviously. I would guess shes wearing an engagement ring. Still don't know if she is pregnant, I guess time will tell. I still for the life of me can't believe how painful this entire ordeal has been. I've suffered more in the last 17mos than the rest of my life combined. I pray to God every day for guidance and forgiveness. I don't know what else to do. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I had my son for 5hrs today, we had alot of fun. Dropped him off at 5pm, his mother was hiding her left hand in her jacket pocket pretty obviously. I would guess shes wearing an engagement ring. Still don't know if she is pregnant, I guess time will tell. I still for the life of me can't believe how painful this entire ordeal has been. I've suffered more in the last 17mos than the rest of my life combined. I pray to God every day for guidance and forgiveness. I don't know what else to do. You dont need forgiveness, you did not do anything wrong. Look who the guilty one is? Are you hiding your left hand in your jacket pocket? That's a sign of guilt if I ever saw one. You did not jump from one relationship to another. You do not need an emotional crutch to overcome conflict and pain in your life. You are facing it head on. You just had a marriage and a kid with a toxic person. It sucks, but you will learn from it and be better off in the end. Keep focusing on you and your kid and you will be fine trust me. One of the things that gives me hope in the world is I saw my ex's dad marry the most amazing woman in the world. He was a good guy and did things the right way (reminds me of me). His new wife is a great person while his ex wife was just like my ex, a bitter, selfish, coward. Your justice will come in the form of you focusing on you, bettering yourself, being happy with yourself and finally pulling through on the 180. I will be honest, I do not think that relationship will last with her and her new man. She probably doesn't know the true meaning of happiness and uses guys as emotional crutches like she used you. Just smile and move forward Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) Who knows how long it will last.. I guess its not my business anyway and its pure speculation. If they do end up getting married its easy to dredge up stats that say 3rd marriages (for him) end up in divorce 70% of the time etc etc... it doesn't matter. What does matter to me is because I had a child with/married someone who was either totally wrong for me or just didn't love me I lose out on a large percentage of my sons life. I was naive and just plain stupid to never have even considered this. I'd be lying if I said I treated her great, I didn't. I wanted to, but could never get through to her and began resenting her for all the time I invested and got next to nothing back from her. My days of calling names and pointing fingers are long over.. nothing good comes of that. She's with this guy, couldn't care less about me, and has long since moved on. How anyone could move this quickly with someone else after 8yrs together is beyond me. She always assured me that she would never hurt me the way my first fiancee did, but she has a thousand times over. I've been cast aside like an obsolete toy. Empty words and promises. ps- thanks for the positive reinforcement wilsonx, its greatly appreciated. Edited October 26, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Shift your focus back to yourself and your son. Any focus spent on her is a waste of time/effort/emotion. You know it man. Things will get better, just keep pressing forward and never give up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 You're right man.. but I can't help feeling like I'm reaping what I sowed, and its destroying everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Whatever it is, it is in the past! That's the great thing about life, it keeps moving forward no matter what. Don't get caught in the past and not move forward with it. Good things are around the corner for you. I am sure of it. You be strong and I will be strong. Let's make a LS friends agreement. Both of us work hard at being happy and moving on. That's what this community is all about - we all pitch in and help each other. That all sounds really cheesy but I mean it. haha Link to post Share on other sites
Majkl Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 MQ bro I feel as if we're wearing the same shoes... reap what we have sown... but dwelling on that will make us physically and mentally ill - we have to stop that no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 mm - I haven't been here in a while but it seems like you are moving towards acceptance... you're doing great! keep moving forward!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 Andy, great to hear from you! I am working on myself and enjoying every second I can with my son. My heart still hurts every day and continue to have irrational thoughts that if I could get one more chance with my sons mother that everything could be fixed. I can't stop feeling this way. I don't know what to do about that. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Andy, great to hear from you! I am working on myself and enjoying every second I can with my son. My heart still hurts every day and continue to have irrational thoughts that if I could get one more chance with my sons mother that everything could be fixed. I can't stop feeling this way. I don't know what to do about that. you recognize that thoughts of reconciliation are irrational - that's half the battle, the other half is letting time do it's thing, soon those thoughts will be less and less.... Link to post Share on other sites
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