How Can I "Respect Her Relationship" with OM??

[Surfer203]

Sorry DOT... it's too bad people that have the same goals and values don't come together often enough. It seems that most married couples are not on the same page.

[Tryin Hard 2 Make It]

Mate i feel for you. My only dream in life was to have a happy family and that went to sh*t. I moved out nearly 2 months ago and even though i'm hurt, angry, depressed, etc. i'm only now just realising that i changed to accommodate her so much that i've somehow lost who the real me is. It's going to be a long process brother but try and look after yourself and be selfish about it. I'm with you on the woman front though...i don't think i'll ever trust another one...not for a very long time at least.

 

Jamone, i was the same, i changed for her and lost touch with the real me. I am slowing getting back to the old me and it feels really good. I can now do what i want, when i want. As far as women, i am reading/learning the traits of the "Alpha Man" as well as the traits of the "Pick Up Artist". I am eager to learn the science behind it all and will turn this into a game. I am excited!!!

[marqueemoon4]

Haha she's such a joke... I met with her today to discuss issues that affect our son. It went fine for awhile, then towards the end it took a turn for the worse. I said something about how she is going to have to face all her lies, cheating, and deception one day. And that she's fooling herself if she thinks our son won't know the entire story. And yea I'll share my opinion about her lowlife bf. She said that was unacceptable and immature. Really? Hmm, whats more immature.. taking no responsibility for your despicable actions and blaming everything on the other person? Cheating, lying, and using using people? That's pretty much the definition of immaturity.

 

She walked to her car and I was like you are in serious denial.. she responded with you're an abuser. I just laughed and said yea ok professional victim and walked to my car.. I pointed to the stickers on her car and said oh wow Dept of Defense I'm so impressed...she's like "he's better than you". Yea we'll see about that after he dumps her in a few months.

 

She couldn't be more ignorant, but you know what he can have her. Worst excuse for a human being I've ever seen.

Edited August 3, 2011 by marqueemoon4

[andyg99]

Comments below in BOLD

 

Haha she's such a joke... I met with her today to discuss issues that affect our son. It went fine for awhile, then towards the end it took a turn for the worse. I said something about how she is going to have to face all her lies, cheating, and deception one day.

 

that may be true, or she may live happily ever after (in her mind)... I know it's hard not to bring this stuff up. I KNOW IT!! but please keep to only the issues about your son

 

And that she's fooling herself if she thinks our son won't know the entire story. And yea I'll share my opinion about her lowlife bf. She said that was unacceptable and immature. Really?

 

please keep him out of this - I know it's your emotions that are taking over, just seeing her messes with your head like too many of us here can understand.... you don't want your son to see her in any negative way, trust me, my boys are now 18 and 19 and have deep issues over their mom - do what you can to insure that someday it won't even matter what she did so many years ago... as for her lowlife bf, please try to remove any negative thoughts about him too, he may end up just the first of many she will be with or he may just be the man she is with til the end, if that's the case you want him to be the best step-dad he can be, trust me again on this.

 

I am now seeing the effects of a f-d up ex and her failed marriage (with the guy she cheated on with me)... at the time her marriage was falling apart I wasn't gloating "HA HA!!! I knew it wouldn't last!" but I was sad my kids were around a mess of a marriage and her daughter (who I really love) with the guy had divorced parents... Please, I know it's not easy and I know a lot is just emotions but I have seen people before never lose the bitterness and wait around for something (the ex to fail) that never happens...

 

Hmm, whats more immature.. taking no responsibility for your despicable actions and blaming everything on the other person? Cheating, lying, and using using people? That's pretty much the definition of immaturity.

 

of course those things she has done are not only immature but they're borderline evil... she'll never admit it and trying to ever get her to see it your way will be like trying to put out the Sun with a hose...

 

none of what I am saying is easy - I made pretty much the same mistakes when my ex dumped me 16 years ago. But I healed and was able to accept her new relationship and I kept my kids as top priority because it is what we are supposed to do as parents. I want you to get to that point - it will take a while but you will get there. If you choose to be with someone else it will benefit you to be well over her before you even date. I myself did the dating thing but ultimately chose to stay single the entire time I raised my kids... whatever you decide to do remember for now maybe it's best to communicate about your son through a third party or over the phone... stay strong! in 6 months to a year you'll be standing in front of her discussing your boy and you won't even think for a second about her personal life!

 

QUOTE]

[marqueemoon4]

1st off-- thank you for your input Andy, its always appreciated and helpful. But basically what you're saying is.. since she is completely devoid of a conscience, is delusional, and an expert at lying to herself she gets away with using me and causing me major trauma in my life? She is very good at not caring, and obviously there is nothing I can do about that. If she feels 0 remorse for f-ing me over, and wants to label me with something as serious as being "an abuser" which is HER opinion, and not true, what is my defense against that? CHEATING IS CHEATING AND THERE IS NO GRAY AREA. LYING IS LYING AND THERE IS NO WAY AROUND IT. Because I said some mean (but true) things to her and she's ridiculously sensitive to the the truth I'm an abuser? Making mistakes and saying things I shouldn't have said is a BIG difference than being an abuser. And why does she put that label on me? Clearly so she can feel better about her disgusting behavior.

 

"its ok I cheated on my ex husband with my coworker because he was an abuser". BULL****. "its ok I latched onto some guy (also separated) and committed adultery a few months after separating because he was an abuser!!" BULL****. Its ok I give absolutely no credit for everything GOOD my ex did for me because he was an abuser. Why is it so hard for most people to admit when they're wrong and take responsibility? SO much easier to blame the other person, isn't it? It's like she caused a 20 car pileup and refuses to admit she played any role in the disaster. Its ultimate selfishness and immaturity.

 

So, again, she doesn't care if I end up living on the streets because of this.. and because she is such a callous, awful person what does that leave? What DOES she care about? Well she claims to care about our son. And my son cares about both of us, and hates that his mommy and daddy aren't together. Ok so I'm supposed to cover for her and say "oh mommy and daddy just didn't get along?" I'm sorry, there are consequences for actions in this world, and I've paid dearly for what I've done, why in the hell should she get away with it. I sat there today and said you cheated on me WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER with your coworker and lied about it. She stared me straight in the face as if to say "so?". Like thats acceptable. I wouldn't have ever even known if he coworker didn't have a big mouth and tell the wrong person about it. I would've never known about the OM if I didn't hire a PI to prove she was lying. There is NO WAY to justify this behavior, none. My son will know the truth, and I will be as accurate and objective as humanly possible. If he rejects her and ends up hating her, so be it. She made these choices, she can reap what she has sowed. I had to. I was willing to do whatever it took to make up for my mistakes, and have grown exponentially as a person the last year. But no, my son's mother is a nasty, vindictive, selfish person who never cared about me, all she ever cared about is what she could take from me. Well, you will never get anything from me ever again.

Edited August 3, 2011 by marqueemoon4

[updown]

what andy said!!!!

 

when you do THIS, it makes is SOOO much easier for her to hold her head high and say she made the right choice. you are completely reinforcing in her mind that you are an abuser and that she made the best choice to leave. HE is not making comments like that to her, and therefore no matter what you say he's going to be the "better choice" because he isn't speaking to her like you are.

 

truly be the better and bigger person in this. she hurt you deeply!! yes! she made a joke of your marriage. yes, and yes immature and irresponsible. but, don't make this about her, or you, or her and you. make this ONLY about your son. her life is hers, your life is yours and there shall ONLY be mixing in terms of your son!!! nothing else.

 

as things go down, digest and then LET IT GO!!! just keep working on that.

 

in our agreement he has to tell me when he wants vacay by a certain day. well, he wouldn't tell me and wouldn't tell me and would tell me things like " i'm keeping my options open," and " i don't want to commit to anything." all it did, was make HIM look worse....... you might think that you're taking the better path with your actions, but you're making yourself look worse.

 

tell her when you want vacay. who CARES why she wants to know? why did *I* want to know? because i wanted to make sure i had plans for the week. ONE WHOLE week without my kids....... children i have never been away from for that long. bet your butt i wanted to make sure i had something to do during those 7 days. otherwise, i would go insane!!! but, playing this " i'm not telling her until i absolutely have to tell her" game, just continues to fuel her fire! trust me!

 

 

Haha she's such a joke... I met with her today to discuss issues that affect our son. It went fine for awhile, then towards the end it took a turn for the worse. I said something about how she is going to have to face all her lies, cheating, and deception one day. And that she's fooling herself if she thinks our son won't know the entire story. And yea I'll share my opinion about her lowlife bf. She said that was unacceptable and immature. Really? Hmm, whats more immature.. taking no responsibility for your despicable actions and blaming everything on the other person? Cheating, lying, and using using people? That's pretty much the definition of immaturity.

 

She walked to her car and I was like you are in serious denial.. she responded with you're an abuser. I just laughed and said yea ok professional victim and walked to my car.. I pointed to the stickers on her car and said oh wow Dept of Defense I'm so impressed...she's like "he's better than you". Yea we'll see about that after he dumps her in a few months.

 

She couldn't be more ignorant, but you know what he can have her. Worst excuse for a human being I've ever seen.

[marqueemoon4]

I'm sorry but she can think she made the right choice all day and night. The bottom line is she's a cheater, liar, user, and has no character, morals or integrity. Yea, I'm mad I got duped by her and barely see my son because of her. That will never change. So, I have to get ruined so she can be happy and say good things about her so my son will respect this person? F that. I'm his father, he clearly likes me better than her and really, how could he not? In time he'll want to live with me. My God I can't believe I had the misfortune of meeting this person. And if this OM is so great what in the hell is he doing with her?? That's for him to realize I guess. How desperate must someone be to dive into a r/l with some girl who is a few months separated with a 4yr old? Pathetic. You couldn't pay me to involve myself in a situation like that, sorry.

 

And yea I'm NOT doing anything to make things easier for her.. I did that for 8yrs and look what it got me.

Edited August 4, 2011 by marqueemoon4

[updown]

no, that's not what i said at all! you don't have to say nice things to her or about her. but, what you are doing when you confront her like that is MAKE things easier for her. if you give her fuel for her "abuse" fire, she will continue to burn it. however, if you only show the " i'm so far beyond what you've done to me" side of yourself she has nothing to complain about. she cheated on you and and she left and you show her you have moved on and don't care....... what can she say?

 

what you're doing IS making her life easier. and it's making her defend her choice. i'm not saying that she is right, i'm saying you're enforcing her perception of reality. how do i know this? because i live it every single Effin day of my LIFE! at times i would start to think maybe it was all in my head, but then BAM he'd hit me with something else ( metaphorically speaking since we haven't lived together in almost 2 yrs). and it would remind me of how it was and that he hasn't changed at all. and people saw it, and they heard him. he IS an abuser. he told my kids last night that he will call the police on me if i do two specific things. he told MY KIDS that! and neither of them are phone calls to the police worthy. but, he wants to scare the crud out of them and control them. so, this is what he does.

 

i highly doubt you're an abuser. but, the thing with abusers is that they never think they are. they believe that they are teaching women like me a lesson. like we won't learn without them to tell us or show us. they think that we will fail without them there to point out our flaws, etc. and the other thing, is that abusers cheer each other on. they stick together in the " our wives are so dumb....." AND, they might see what they do as "teaching" but someone who escalates it one step higher is the abuser. so, a man that just puts down and belittles his wife. who calls her names or ignores her. will think that man that screams and yells and swears is the abuser. and that man will think that the man that throws things and punches walls is the abuser, and that man will think that the man who actually slaps and hits his wife is the abuser. and that man will think it's ONLY abuse if you punch them in the face, kick them in the gut, break a bone or leave a mark that lasts weeks...... but, they are ALL abuse. demeaning someone to control them. to control their thinking or actions, is abuse. having contempt for someone that is supposed to be your equal, is abuse.

 

you can hate her all you want. you can wish the worst life you can imagine upon her, but keep that to yourself or post it here. you want her choice to look like the bad and stupid choice? be the most wonderful stand up man you could possibly think of being. don't give ANYONE cause to believe a word she says about you being abusive!!!

Edited August 4, 2011 by updown

[marqueemoon4]

I did belittle her at times, mostly because I invested SO much and got nothing in return. I was mad at myself for clearly settling for someone who was no where near my level and never will be. I regret handling it that way but I felt helpless. I never ignored her or rejected her, that was her game. On a daily basis I would ask myself what the hell am I doing with this person.. she's only with me to live a lifestyle she had no business living. She's never "earned" anything.. she just uses her appearance and inflates men's egos to make them fall for her. She needs professional help but denial will never let that happen.

 

Well, in ****ing me over she found another sucker to latch onto. Not to be crude but men do some irrational things for p***y. I know her game and her patterns. She is truly a career victim and this will repeat itself over and over in her "relationships". Again, I shouldn't be surprised, her mother is the exact same way.. women who wouldn't be **** if they didn't have men around to make all their decisions for them and take care of them like newborns. It's beyond pathetic, but she knows how to hook a guy.. OH MY EX HUSBAND IS A MONSTER SAAAAAAAVE ME!!! Same crap she did with me but it was her crazy ex boyfriend. She's a chameleon and shapeshifts into whatever character she needs to to get what she wants. She's like The Thing (awesome movie btw). You think I like the fact she is a major influence on my son? It makes me sick.

Edited August 4, 2011 by marqueemoon4

[andyg99]

I did belittle her at times, mostly because I invested SO much and got nothing in return. I was mad at myself for clearly settling for someone who was no where near my level and never will be. I never ignored her or rejected her, that was her game. On a daily basis I would ask myself what the hell am I doing with this person.. she's only with me to live a lifestyle she had no business living. Well, in ****ing me over she found another sucker to latch onto. Not to be crude but men do some irrational things for p***y. I know her game and her patterns. She is truly a career victim and this will repeat itself over and over in.her relationships. Again, I shouldn't be surprised, her mother is the exact same way.. women who wouldn't be **** if they didn't have men around to make all their decisions for them and take care of them like newborns. It's beyond pathetic, but she knows how to hook a guy.. OH MY EX HUSBAND IS A MONSTER SAAAAAAAVE ME!!! Same crap she did with me but it was her crazy ex boyfriend. She's a chameleon and shapeshifts into whatever character she needs to to get what she wants. She's like The Thing (awesome movie btw). You think I like the fact she is a major influence on my son? It makes me sick.

 

I believe everything you are saying about her - she is like many of the female cheaters who have been described here.... please continue to vent here, it is a good outlet but you need to get that stuff about your son out of your head NOW!!! he's 4 years old! do not keep going back to "he'll know about her someday"... maybe he will... but if you don't get over your bitterness (and I know you will) someday this teenage boy might come to the realization of "I can see why mom left dad"....

 

What is happening to you isn't fair... I KNOW IT! I had a 2,4 and 5 year old when my ex decided I wasn't $table enough for her... I sat in an apartment with 3 little kids by myself for the first few months scared of my future while my ex was having the time of her life (at least my messed up mind conjured some great passionate love affair)... IT ISN'T FAIR!!! WE ALL KNOW IT!!!

 

Vent here! don't give her the fuel to push your buttons... she has done it, I can tell... focus not on how bad it will be for a 4 year old to be without 2 full-time parents but how awesome you and your son will be together! and again... STOP with the "he will know someday" talk - do whatever you have to to get to that point NOW!

[marqueemoon4]

my life has been irreparably damaged by this person.. I haven't even gone into some of the hardships marrying this person has caused me because its too embarrassing.

 

I don't believe my son will ever, ever see things that way, like it makes sense why mom left dad. He'll see her as a weak, ignorant person who can't stand on her own two feet and thinks the world revolves around her.

[andyg99]

comments in BOLD

 

my life has been irreparably damaged by this person..

 

No! no matter what she has done you can repair YOUR life!!! I lived it! I know you can have it 10x better and so can your son!!!! after a few months of healing me and my kids had an awesome 15 years with each other! the only blip on the radar is when I let he back into my life again. Now she's about to take off and abandon a 12 year old, I couldn't be more happier to have her out of my life but I'm putting 100% of my focus in making sure that little girl has all the love she can handle and I'll never bash her mom in front of her, ever...

 

 

 

I don't believe my son will ever, ever see things that way, like it makes sense why mom left dad. He'll see her as a weak, ignorant person who can't stand on her own two feet and thinks the world revolves around her.

 

you have one job: love your son... and that means never bashing his mom... I know you are too good of a dad to ever do that in front of him but what if years go by and he never sees her in the way that you think he will?

 

hate her with all your heart and vent here if that will help you get through this critical point now but again... please stop focusing on how your boy will view her, it's not good....

 

[andyg99]

I just want to share one of the reasons why I am so adamant about not focusing on your son's view of her: when I was about your boys age I was at my uncles house with my family... he got in my face (I believe he was drunk) and told me my aunt was no good and will never be any good, that scared the **** out of me, my dad pulled him away... for years I always looked at my aunt in a very weird way, I thought there was something wrong with her... I wasn't scarred by this or anything, they were relatives we didn't see very often... but over 40 years later that experience is still fresh in my mind, I couldn't imagine you'd EVER do that with your boy but in a moment of weakness after a bad confrontation with the ex we are all capable of saying anything....

[marqueemoon4]

I have not been bashing her in front of my son.. not sure what the correlation between loving my son and being truthful about how lousy a person his mother is. Would I make her out to be a good person if she was a serial killer? imho liars and cheaters are bad people. Honestly I want him to hate her.... then she'll have a diminished amount of influence on him. I want custody of him eventually and I'll get it. Sorry, just how I feel. And I will continue to tell him OM is a bad person if he brings up his name. He IS a bad person and he will never be anything to my son but

some douche she is leeching off. I think I'm 100% justified in feeling this way. Maybe you missed the part where she tried to put a protective order on me and take him away from me for 2yrs? Even the judge said she was vindictive. Her complete lack of remorse or empathy makes this war.

Edited August 4, 2011 by marqueemoon4

[andyg99]

I have not been bashing her in front of my son.. not sure what the correlation between loving my son and being truthful about how lousy a person his mother is. Would I make her out to be a good person if she was a serial killer? imho liars and cheaters are bad people. Honestly I want him to hate her.... then she'll have a diminished amount of influence on him. I want custody of him eventually and I'll get it. Sorry, just how I feel. And I will continue to tell him OM is a bad person if he brings up his name. He IS a bad person and he will never be anything to my son but

some douche she is leeching off. I think I'm 100% justified in feeling this way. Maybe you missed the part where she tried to put a protective order on me and take him away from me for 2yrs? Even the judge said she was vindictive. Her complete lack of remorse or empathy makes this war.

 

c'mon man, please stop it... I know most here will agree that you need to keep your son out of this 100% and that means not telling him this guy is bad or ever trying to hope he hates his mom someday... "Her complete lack of remorse or empathy makes this war", so are you saying that an "I'm sorry" would make things different?? please don't stoop to her level, your boy needs one sane parent now, if you continue with this line of thinking she may be the only "stable" parent in your boys eyes.... I care for you man, I've felt that hurt before, I've screamed out in an empty house "why are you letting her do this to me God?!?!?" - she has done horrible things to you, you don't have to tell your boy she is a wonderful mom, just say nothing, and when he tells you stories about her and her new guy just smile and say "that's nice"... Please hang in there - I hope your way of thinking now is just a product of your confrontation with her today....

[marqueemoon4]

I appreciate that you've been through something similar, but you have no idea the devastation this person has caused. Be the bigger person, huh? Act like her actions are acceptable? After almost a decade of my life wasted, left with nothing? Labeled as an abuser by this vile disgusting woman? Cut out of 70% of my child's life? Oh well lucky me I got a son out of it. Is that how I'm supposed to look at it? Whatever. You goddamn right I'm bitter. I don't see that changing anytime soon.

[jaymz]

I appreciate that you've been through something similar, but you have no idea the devastation this person has caused. Be the bigger person, huh? Act like her actions are acceptable? After almost a decade of my life wasted, left with nothing? Labeled as an abuser by this vile disgusting woman? Cut out of 70% of my child's life? Oh well lucky me I got a son out of it. Is that how I'm supposed to look at it? Whatever. You goddamn right I'm bitter. I don't see that changing anytime soon.

 

My heart is with you. I cannot stand my stbxw wife and what she has done for her own selfish gain. I hate not seeing my kids everyday. I hate she has tainted special memories. I hate she lied and cheated on me for months. I hate the way she tells me "I have done nothing wrong other than fall in love with someone else", or that "I have no regrets for anything i have done", or "you are a loser" etc. I hate the way she rubs my face in her affairs. I hate having to get a std check. I hate coming home everyday to an empty house. I hate having no money because of her selfish actions. I hate her family and they way they treat me. I hate the way she has zero respect for me. I hate the way I am just a babysitter and a monthly cheque. I hate the 15 years I invested in this woman and it turns out like this.

 

My head says listen to andyg99 and updown. They have been there, done it, got the t-shirt. So I am being the bigger man. I do not ask her for anything. I respond reasonably to her requests but not frightened to say no. I don't complain to her about anything. I try and let her know about things that concern her in a timely manner (holiday time with kids/finances/divorce).

 

I am the much bigger person. I am kind, loyal, faithful, hard working, funny (at times), employed (still hanging on), i want to love and be loved, emotional, thoughful, strong, independent guy. I am working on myself, getting fit, working out, learning how to do things for myself, live the single life, manage money better, cook for myself, shop for myself. I am trying to discover who I am now as an individual as I lost too much in our relationship trying to be what she wanted and doing anything to keep her happy.

 

It is painful. Yesterday I walked out to scumbags car and said goodbye to the kids and waved them off, a few months ago I wouldn't have done that. I hesitated to go at first, it would have been much easier not to. But i have to face the facts now, she has gone and she wont be coming back. The kids are my no 1 priority and they come first to me no matter what childish tricks the stbxw pulls. To me it shows that she is small and pathetic, and ultimately may have done me a big favour.

 

It is hard mm4. I hate my kids telling me anything about the stbxw and scumbag. I hate that they like him. I hate that they don't like him. I hate that they complain that he shouts at them at times. But i just smile and change the subject onto talking about US instead. I don't know where I will be in 6 months time. I hope to have the house sold, divorce finalised and a place of my own. Then i can really heal, do the things I want to do and truly move on with my life.

 

Please have a good think about the advice your getting on here. Be smart. Play the long game. Be the winner.

[Surfer203]

mm4: I can tell you are feeling a lot of anger right now, it seems to have creeped up again. Maybe it never went away? But you seemed to have calmed down a bit and now it's back. While I find the stbx wife bashing kind of funny it scares me to see you so pissed off. Don't let this anger get out of control, you were doing so well my friend.

 

You KNOW your kid will figure out what kind of person their Mom is when they are old enough, you don't need to bash her. However, I do believe that when the times comes you need to be honest about her and the OM. Your child deserves to know, when the time is right. Just my opinion, clearly others here differ.

[worldgonewrong]

Here's the thing, MM4:

 

in due time, you won't have to lift a finger (so to speak) or say a word or anything regards your wife toward your son because [drum roll] kids are perceptive and they can figure it out.

 

My wife is nowhere NEAR the monster your ex is, but she has been deficient in some parenting areas and guess what? The kids pick up on it! They absorb it, they react, and they form their own opinions on it all in good time.

 

If you provide the strong father leadership owed your son, without saying a word, he will be able to discern right from wrong, and that will be a rock enough. It will be a beacon when the lightbulb 'clicks' and he sees his mom in a different light. He will also be grateful (trust me on this) if you do NOT influence him in anyway and allow him to figure it out for himself. He'll have enough inner turmoil/debate through the years without the confusion of bias from a parent.

 

You're filled with anger right now - TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. But you let her win if you allow her to make your anger cancerous. It will eat you up and make things toxic with your son. Keep all that guarded from him, love on him, and 'cause he's a smart boy, he'll suss it out. "Hmm, dad has his sh*t together. Mom is out of whack. I get it."

[jaymz]

However, I do believe that when the times comes you need to be honest about her and the OM. Your child deserves to know, when the time is right. Just my opinion, clearly others here differ.

 

Telling a 4yr old and an 18yr old are two entirely different things. I have a box, in this box is all the pictures, gifts etc the stbxw didn't want. I also have a folder in this box marked divorce, this has all my evidence, soliticitor letters, my log of what actually went on etc. When the time comes, my kids have the opportunity to see what really went on, warts and all.

[Surfer203]

Jaymz I completely agree, his child is not old enough to know the details - most of the details will be figured out with out Dad spilling the beans anyway.

 

Now when you say warts, are you talking literal warts? That would be kind of gross to save them in a box.

[jaymz]

You're filled with anger right now - TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. But you let her win if you allow her to make your anger cancerous. It will eat you up and make things toxic with your son. Keep all that guarded from him, love on him, and 'cause he's a smart boy, he'll suss it out. "Hmm, dad has his sh*t together. Mom is out of whack. I get it."

 

This is spot on. I see some of it with my eldest already (he is 8), with comments he comes out with like "mummy left you with nothing" when he say for the first time how empty the former marital home was - i told him that mummy needed all the stuff for you kids but I could tell he was very surprised by it.

 

Play smart. Play the long game. Be the winner.

[jaymz]

Now when you say warts, are you talking literal warts? That would be kind of gross to save them in a box.

 

Ewww, no. Its an English saying, means the whole truth even if its something i did that was wrong.

[Surfer203]

I figured.. haha, was kidding a bit. Us ignorant Americans!

[marqueemoon4]

Dad doesn't have his **** together right now.. dad is unemployed, alone, is facing having his license suspended for 60 days for getting 4 tickets in a one year span (hadn't had a ticket in 4yrs prior). Dad still owes lawyers thousands of dollars, is going to have to pay another lawyer to defend him on this reckless driving charge (had my license 25yrs, never had a reckless, dui or accident that was my fault). Dad expects the gecko from Geico to knock on his door, rip up his policy, slap him, and leave. Dad's parents barely talk to him anymore and have lost all confidence in him. Dad is a hot mess. On May 12th 2010 I had everything locked down, married, a good amount of savings, doing great at my job, confident, got to see my son everyday when I came home. That's all gone. And why? Because I procreated and married the wrong "woman".

Edited August 4, 2011 by marqueemoon4