How Can I "Respect Her Relationship" with OM??

[worldgonewrong]

Re that email your ex sent you - I get emails like that, too. Couched in fakeness, "to have more time with him". It could be sincere, but I always see transparent motives.

~shaking it off~

Right. You're right. Don't over-analyze.

[dreamingoftigers]

Maybe that is all true.. but like many things in this world, as we all know this out of my control. Yes, its seems preposterous.. hell it IS preposterous.. but who knows.

 

I love that you remember their stupid personalized license plates. I'll do you one better.. I showed up to one of my sons swim lessons, I hadn't been in months because I didn't like sitting there listening to her and her parents act all fake and purposely ignore my existence. I'm sensitive like that I guess.

 

So, when she is leaving i see she is wearing a tshirt that says in big letters IN LOVE, surrounded by a heart. Again, I couldn't make this up if I tried. Though it does go well with the heart pendant with a keyhole she also sports. Wow. Seems incredibly cheesy to me.

 

IDK, I think stuff like that is cheezy too.

 

Like high school stuff, maybe even junior high.

 

You get a "BFF" and then six months later they aren't your "BFF" anymore and you've got a new one.

 

My little person started swimming lessons as well, she's done two sets of them. But I know at my pool, it isn't exactly stadium seating. Very cramped. Pretty uncomfortable.

 

But I've got a mini-story that beats out the t-shirt. I had this 'friend' who was really just a total user that I knew for ten years. She(I'll call her J) had been the only person that knew myself and my husband before he and I met. We ended up moving next door to her.

 

She was just a total leech. Like, unbelievable. Anyhow, she had two kids with the guy she knew from junior high and then she married him. Right when I was at the peak of my own marital bull crap I was crying my heart out and she came over and just said, "oh I'm sorry you're going through this but I can't relate because I have a great marriage and I know that M and I are going to be together forever.":eek: (pretty much verbatim, I might've missed an implied comma there) She also asks to borrow $20 and heads back home. This is after over a year of listening to her bawl about her dipsh*t husband 2-3 times a week for the previous year. After babysitting her kids EVERY weekend for free. She only watched my kid ONCE in TWO YEARS and she got paid for it. I swear that is so the very tip of the iceberg in favors.

 

Anyhow, a year or so later she starts messing around on her husband. I knew about it but he had gone up to work on the oil rigs. Anyhow. One of our other mutual friends (E) who works for me mentions something about her decidedly new stance on fidelity. But we decide not to talk about it because it's "her business" so no details get traded back and forth.

 

So time moves on and (J) lets it slip that she's sleeping with her husband's brother who's staying over. I'm just like WTF? Really? And she's wondering if she should leave the husband for the brother. I say, "I think that's a dense-ass idea. If you are going to leave the M, leave the M but don't confuse the heck out of your kids by shacking up with "Uncle-Daddy." Anyway she goes on to say that her H knows about it and they've decided on an "open marriage" anyway because he's up on the rigs and if he meets someone, yay for him. Whatever......

 

Next month buddy comes back down from the rigs and talks to my H about how he's got this open marriage that J just asked him about last month. (This was April, and she had been messing around since at least December.) But the husband doesn't want the open marriage. So, of course he didn't know about his brother and they never agreed to this open marriage thing.

 

A very short time later E (J's friend) starts saying "oh I'm so glad that she clipped that thing with that person. That was hard to watch, it was just so ridiculous and I guess that J and her H had an open marriage the whole time so it's a good thing that we didn't judge her." I say "oh, I didn't know that she stopped seeing him." And E says, "oh she stopped seeing him months ago." I say, "you sure, because when I babysat they went downstairs together which I thought was super-weird because I was in the house and her kid was upstairs. And they didn't come back up all night." And E says, "I thought he was out instructing hiking in (a town close to us)." I say, "No, [the brother] is living in their basement."

 

And then we realize that we aren't talking about one OM at all. She messed with this other guy, S around December, and I remember about how they went on this camping trip that seemed pretty weird. Well J told E about how they "Connected spiritually" () and all of that. And of course E put together that I was talking and the brother (). And that she hadn't been in this "open marriage." Then E told me that J had also "slipped" at a party with another guy there.

 

Anyhow, about two weeks after that conversation, J's H finally agrees to this "open 'marriage.'" Right after he does, she goes downstairs, with her H in the house and messes with his brother! So he's all distraught because he agreed to this stupid thing, but he didn't think it would become active 5 minutes later while he's upstairs and it's with his brother!

 

Shortly after that, she takes up with another guy that she was with years ago, dumps her H, tosses him and the kids out of the house. Lives there with the brother, dates the new guy, D. Until she gets evicted and moves in with D. Then after 4 or so months of sponging off of him, gets together with his best friend C!

 

So D kicks out J, leaving her effectively homeless. (she also totaled his car during this time span, I can't make this sh*t up). So she comes to my place begging for a place to stay. "I have nowhere else to go. I'll give you this or that for rent." I'm so preoccupied with my husband and daughter situation, I just, "yeah-sure. Whatever." BUT I say, no rent, because if things change quickly I need you to move. Honestly I was more thinking I would have to kick her out for being a pain in the ass.

 

So she moves in, starts taking the kids again (worst live-action mother I've ever seen by the way). The next week C moves in! (The new boyfriend, I know, it's hard to keep track.)

 

We have a few "heart-to hearts" about, "okay, what's your plan now?"

 

While she's living here C lives here but I actually don't mind C because he actually cleans up after himself somewhat. She cheats on C with her husband who she's been separated from for 6-ish months at this point! He just says he knows she "got to get it out of her system because shes' going through a divorce.":confused:

 

Anyways, they move out four months later. They didn't clean the upstairs AT ALL. I pulled out six bags of garbage and had to scrub a ton of paint off of the floors from her kids. Her daughter wrote all over my walls and furniture. I've lived here for three years and I'll be honest, I don't wash my floors very often at all. But when she left after four months..... the table was stuck to the floor! Like REALLY stuck! The kids had carved into my table. My aunt had made that for me. I don't mean innocent scratches either. I mean carved.

 

Those two assclowns are still together. My favorite part of having her out of my life was seeing on facebook that they got matching tattoos.

 

They say: "takeing over the world, always."

 

I'm NOT kidding! Takeing :lmao::lmao:

 

The spelling error is not mine!

 

426814_10151967872685298_1066577533_n | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

 

Right on the back of their calves! Every time they wear shorts somewhere, everyone behind them is going to laugh their asses off!:lmao:

 

Hope it was worth the read.

[Chi townD]

Okay....Way confused with this Order of Protection. It's against you to stay away from her, him and your own kid; yet, she wants you to take him?

 

Plus, sending an email as if nothing happened? Having the cops show up to take your son away from you infront of your neighbors?

 

Oh, and you using the adultry thing with the military. Sorry, it won't work now. They're married so it doesn't matter to them. You should have exposed it to his chain of command while it was going on. THEN, they could have done something about it.

 

Now, is there a way to get the OFP exsponged from your record? To get it lifted?

[dreamingoftigers]

Okay....Way confused with this Order of Protection. It's against you to stay away from her, him and your own kid; yet, she wants you to take him?

 

Plus, sending an email as if nothing happened? Having the cops show up to take your son away from you infront of your neighbors?

 

Oh, and you using the adultry thing with the military. Sorry, it won't work now. They're married so it doesn't matter to them. You should have exposed it to his chain of command while it was going on. THEN, they could have done something about it.

 

Now, is there a way to get the OFP exsponged from your record? To get it lifted?

 

Sigh... you'd think after all of this time ASS and her husband would let it drop.

[marqueemoon4]

Okay....Way confused with this Order of Protection. It's against you to stay away from her, him and your own kid; yet, she wants you to take him?

 

Plus, sending an email as if nothing happened? Having the cops show up to take your son away from you infront of your neighbors?

 

Oh, and you using the adultry thing with the military. Sorry, it won't work now. They're married so it doesn't matter to them. You should have exposed it to his chain of command while it was going on. THEN, they could have done something about it.

 

Now, is there a way to get the OFP exsponged from your record? To get it lifted?

 

Yeah, the reporting his adultery to the Navy was kind of a last resort.. she was rubbing their marriage in my face, and she refused to do anything about this guy saying negative things about me. I wanted revenge, for sure. I'm glad I didn't stoop to their level.

 

So after me saying that I was going to file a civil suit against her (mainly for the $3k plus she stole from me in spousal support between '10/11, then later was outed for cheatin with her coworker while we were together, her slandering me by saying I "beat her", abuse of process, the list goes on) and saying I was going to file a complaint to the Navy, the next day (saturday) is when the cops showed up to my place with an "emergency" PO put on me by HER, with herself, dude, my son, and her daughter listed on it. She cited a comment I had made a MONTH earlier via text (I said something stupid like "I wouldn't mind breaking his bitch neck).

 

So, they took my son that morning. He was extremely upset. So her order ran out after 48hrs, she let it drop. I would guess because she knew it wouldn't stand up in court. That wednesday I'm at work (gov't contractor) and I get a call from the front desk saying I had a visitor. It was a cop handing me an order FROM HIM. I was like, uh, couldn't you have given this to me at home, I'm at work here. He was like sorry I had to serve this today, I called your cell and you didn't answer (we can't bring our phones inside our building). Thankfully no one saw.. or that would've been embarrassing as hell.

 

This guy made up so much BS on his order.. saying I was "stalking him", and using my TS clearance to find out info about him, like when he would be deployed etc. COMPLETE NONSENSE. My son told me he was gonna be gone for 4mos. I've never, ever spoken to this guy or contacted his once! No email, no phone calls, nothing. Said he was in fear for his wife (married for like a month at this point), his stepson and his daughter blah blah. Ridiculous. So I had to shell out $1200 for a new lawyer, got him up to speed and we went to court the next week.

 

In court this guy, aside from being a colossal tool, lied at least 3 times under oath. I had seen this person ONCE in my life, at a pickup/dropoff but he stayed in the car messing with his phone. He said he had been at "numerous" pickups. He said I was going to try something and he was afraid his daughter would be "collateral damage". He also brought up I have a firearm, though I've never once mentioned it, ever. I had a concealed carry permit too which I lost because of this.

 

So she got on the stand, fake cried, said how she is just trying to get on with her life and she's so scared. And of course, the judge bought it and I lost. My attorney was upset, he's dealt with TONS of bogus PO cases in the last few years, its a real epidemic apparently. He said you need to appeal this, we can win this. Said I did great in court, saw just how big of a nutjob my ex is, and how manipulative she is as well. He also called her out and asked her "so exactly how many men did you commit adultery with while legally married to my client?" She pleaded the 5th. New hubby also sold her out while she wasn't in the courtroom (my attorney pleaded some thing where she had to leave during cross examination). He asked this dude.. so, you know my client is considering a civil suit agains your new wife, does that concern you? He stated: "no, that's her problem". My lawyer was like, uh huh. And you know he's drafted a complaint to the Navy about your adultery, does THAT concern you? He said "uh, well yea". My lawyer and I were floored at how dumb this guy was.

 

So anyway, I filed for appeal, the guy went on deployment for 4 months (Afghanistan I would later find out), and I met with my attorney again. $2500 for the appeal. I'm broke at this point, I don't have the money. He also said an Abuse of Process suit against her would probably be at least $5 grand if not more. So as of right now HE has an order against me. Not my son, not his daughter, and I don't think her. Again humorous because I've never spoken a word to this guy.

 

UGH.

 

 

ps- she still has the nerve to ask me to pickup/dropoff my son at this guy's townhouse after all this (2-3 times she's asked). I was like sorry, after all the lies/false accusations you both made in court there is NO way I'm going anywhere near that place.

Edited June 6, 2013 by marqueemoon4

[Chi townD]

That's messed up dude. At the very least, go for the appeal. You need that off of your record. If they wanted to leave the state with the kids, they can do so with no problem because of that OFP. You need that taken care of. Worry about that other thing later, there should be a statute of limitations timeframe for filing the other one, so you have some time.

 

But, I still don't know how she can expect you to take your son if you have an order of protection out against you to include him. I have a feeling that it's a set up. You get your son, she calls the cops, you now go to jail for violating the OFP and now kidnapping charges.

 

Talk to your lawyer about this.

[dreamingoftigers]

I only "liked" that you weren't going to go over there with your kid.

 

My parents have a nutty, drama-filled relationship like that. They need to lie and crap on other people in order to bond. If my Dad's not making enemies, they'll imagine them up.

 

Remember the Bully, Victim, Rescuer triangle?

 

Without you as the "bully", the whole thing falls apart.

 

It seems like such a thin, sad premise for a relationship. What a couple of ASSes!

[marqueemoon4]

That's messed up dude. At the very least, go for the appeal. You need that off of your record. If they wanted to leave the state with the kids, they can do so with no problem because of that OFP. You need that taken care of. Worry about that other thing later, there should be a statute of limitations timeframe for filing the other one, so you have some time.

 

But, I still don't know how she can expect you to take your son if you have an order of protection out against you to include him. I have a feeling that it's a set up. You get your son, she calls the cops, you now go to jail for violating the OFP and now kidnapping charges.

 

Talk to your lawyer about this.

 

Well, he's really not my attorney any more since I didn't follow through with the appeal. Like I said, I went to the court, filed it, and was going to choose a date but the guy had been deployed. Also, this was in February I think. My time for appeal is most likely over. Plus I still don't have the money for my attorney, or any other for that matter. Sucks.

[dreamingoftigers]

 

But I've got a mini-story that beats out the t-shirt. I had this 'friend' who was really just a total user that I knew for ten years. She(I'll call her J) had been the only person that knew myself and my husband before he and I met. We ended up moving next door to her.

 

Those two assclowns are still together. My favorite part of having her out of my life was seeing on facebook that they got matching tattoos.

 

They say: "takeing over the world, always."

 

I'm NOT kidding! Takeing :lmao::lmao:

 

The spelling error is not mine!

 

426814_10151967872685298_1066577533_n | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

 

Right on the back of their calves! Every time they wear shorts somewhere, everyone behind them is going to laugh their asses off!:lmao:

 

Hope it was worth the read.

 

Sorry to bring this up again, but I just remembered that while this person was living here, she told me about a total of SIX guys that she was with while she was married and living with her husband over a two year period. Their marriage only last two years! After two kids etc.

 

I could've written an educational story about her:

 

J Fu*ks The Alphabet! aka How to Get an STD in Ten Guys or Less.

[worldgonewrong]

My teeny-tiny bit of advice for you, MM4, from here on out: (perhaps stating the obvious)

 

You're dealing with a bunch of redneck psychopaths (sociopaths?) whose sense of survival is so strong, they will do ANYthing to wreak havoc on a person's life and not think twice about it.

By contrast, you are guileless and historically trusting; you have an innate sense that the average person will usually step up and do the right thing when called upon. They can sense that in you, and have no qualms about squashing anything that conflicts with their little tenuous bubble of an existence.

WATCH YOUR STEP. EVERY STEP.

[marqueemoon4]

That person sounds like a nightmare DoT. Lord knows there are plenty of crazy people out there.

 

So, she emailed again asking what I wanted to do.. I responded with "i have plans tomorrow night, but saturday day would be good if that works".

 

She said he has his sisters bday party at 5:30 on saturday (her bday is in April ) but I could have him before that or on sunday. And she asked if I want him tonight (of course I do).

 

I don't want to analyze.. I have a better chance of understanding the inner workings of Hannibal Lechter's mind than hers.. but it does have me wondering.

 

I would guess that I'm being "rewarded" for staying away and not causing any "problems" now that this douche is back.

 

Also I'm sure she is getting alot of pressure from my son to see me, I know he would rather be with me. She also is probably trying to show me how happy she is and how indifferent she is to me by being "nice" like this. Also probably feels some amount of guilt, and is scared she is going to lose her son eventually.

 

As for all the speculation about how long the marriage with this guy is going to last.. who the hell knows. Sure seems doomed on paper but I was with her for 8yrs when I should've never even spoken to her in the first place. Maybe they really are kindred spirits.

Edited June 6, 2013 by marqueemoon4

[dreamingoftigers]

That person sounds like a nightmare DoT. Lord knows there are plenty of crazy people out there.

 

So, she emailed again asking what I wanted to do.. I responded with "i have plans tomorrow night, but saturday day would be good if that works".

 

She said he has his sisters bday party at 5:30 on saturday (her bday is in April ) but I could have him before that or on sunday. And she asked if I want him tonight (of course I do).

 

I don't want to analyze.. I have a better chance of understanding the inner workings of Hannibal Lechter's mind than hers.. but it does have me wondering.

 

I would guess that I'm being "rewarded" for staying away and not causing any "problems" now that this douche is back.

 

Also I'm sure she is getting alot of pressure from my son to see me, I know he would rather be with me. She also is probably trying to show me how happy she is and how indifferent she is to me by being "nice" like this. Also probably feels some amount of guilt, and is scared she is going to lose her son eventually.

 

As for all the speculation about how long the marriage with this guy is going to last.. who the hell knows. Sure seems doomed on paper but I was with her for 8yrs when I should've never even spoken to her in the first place. Maybe they really are kindred spirits.

 

Oh she was, and I had no sense of boundaries at the time. It amazes me to this day how she managed to use and use and use people. All of her friends. She could pawn her kids off any day of the week for free and go drinking. Then not show up until 5 when she said 11. And often did. But she would use in cycles, drain one, onto the next, go around the circle and by the time you get back around, person A is ready to be used again. She had such an amazing ability to show how much promise she had if she could just change "one little thing" that you could help her with. And then it would start. She is one of those diabolical users that will probably get away with it until old age. Vampiristic. Amazing. Her mother has the same "gift."

 

As for your xW. I wouldn't know how to make heads or tails of it. Just know that whatever you do will be amplified in the negative. If you are friendly with her then you are probably "trying to get her back and destroy her marriage." We all know what unfriendly does. And upset. Reasonable will be "critical" or even "threatening."

 

I'm not even sure what to offer in terms of any advice. Is there anyone else that can do the actual pick up? Even if you have to shell out? If they don't see you for awhile, they'll start picking another target. My parents often shifted targets when one got too systematic or they didn't have access to that one anymore. The more that you are in the cross-hairs. The more that they will fire at you.

[marqueemoon4]

It means nothing. Everything "nice" she does is because she always has an ulterior motive. This is how she was when we were together, and this is how she is now. Again, as long as I don't contact her or say anything about her or this clown, no matter how ridiculous they are, I'll be "rewarded" with seeing my own damn son.

 

I even admitted some things a few weeks ago that I did and felt bad about. All she did was absorb it, and said "I'm glad to hear you say that". And that was it. She'll never admit anything, she's that selfish, stubborn and delusional. And this guy is enabling her to not take any responsibility for her f-ed up actions. Never in my life have a seen anyone so brazen in the face of being caught red handed on so many things. Yet it's all my fault our marriage failed. I'd like to think "she'll get hers" as I've been told so many times, but I highly doubt she will. Oh well, I'll find someone far better than her.

[dreamingoftigers]

It means nothing. Everything "nice" she does is because she always has an ulterior motive. This is how she was when we were together, and this is how she is now. Again, as long as I don't contact her or say anything about her or this clown, no matter how ridiculous they are, I'll be "rewarded" with seeing my own damn son.

 

I even admitted some things a few weeks ago that I did and felt bad about. All she did was absorb it, and said "I'm glad to hear you say that". And that was it. She'll never admit anything, she's that selfish, stubborn and delusional. And this guy is enabling her to not take any responsibility for her f-ed up actions. Never in my life have a seen anyone so brazen in the face of being caught red handed on so many things. Yet it's all my fault our marriage failed. I'd like to think "she'll get hers" as I've been told so many times, but I highly doubt she will. Oh well, I'll find someone far better than her.

 

Kind of like my user friend?

 

However people can dampen their natures or deny other's natures early on inns Relationship. Heck, my husband was a genius at it.

 

But eventually you remember how she's like that high interest credit card. Do you think you're the only one she's put out a high-interest loan on? I doubt it.

 

The only thing I think is that they'll stable as long as they can pick an outside source but it seems like eventually they'll turn on each other. People cannot keep their true natures clamped done forever and they don't change without influence and effort.

The Scorpion and the Frog - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Hope that the link works. She strikes me as the type willing to go through another divorce if need be.

[WreckedDan]

If she has a no contact order agaisnt you, take her original email that she sent you asking for you to watch your kid (no other attachements) to the police... her breaking it is as bad as you breaking it, then the whole thing will get dropped...

 

My 2©

Dan

[marqueemoon4]

Dan she is allowed to contact me regarding our son.. and does so quite a bit. The order is for the new husband, who I have never spoken to and have only seen in person twice.

[WreckedDan]

Sorry, I thought this was the same order from before when he made it so you couldn't see any of them. My bad.

 

Lots of luck to you friend,

Dan

[worldgonewrong]

I even admitted some things a few weeks ago that I did and felt bad about. All she did was absorb it, and said "I'm glad to hear you say that". And that was it.

 

Dude, don't do that again - meaning, putting your heart on your sleeve/admitting fault for someone who does NOT reciprocate. All it does is cause you pain.

[marqueemoon4]

Dude, don't do that again - meaning, putting your heart on your sleeve/admitting fault for someone who does NOT reciprocate. All it does is cause you pain.

 

Yep, lesson learned. Again it scrambles my brain that someone who got busted dead to rights can be so defiant to not even remotely admit they've done anything wrong or hurtful, when there is 100% proof to the contrary. Must be nice having no conscience.

[marqueemoon4]

Reading all the posts on here of people suffering and struggling because of relationships with other human beings just makes me wonder.. is it worth it? I can't believe a decision I made in 2002 is STILL causing devastation in 2013.

 

I am still hurt by this on a daily basis. I am trying so hard to "move on" but nothing I do amounts to anything. I am so sorry I met this person, and as much as I love my son, if some higher power offered to take me back almost 11yrs so I would never meet this person I would do it. This person has caused me more pain in the last 3yrs than the previous 40 I've been alive combined. I can't even comprehend how someone can be as heartless and cruel as she has demonstrated. Worst part is I'm pretty sure most people are more like her than me. That is so depressing.

[dreamingoftigers]

Reading all the posts on here of people suffering and struggling because of relationships with other human beings just makes me wonder.. is it worth it? I can't believe a decision I made in 2002 is STILL causing devastation in 2013.

 

I am still hurt by this on a daily basis. I am trying so hard to "move on" but nothing I do amounts to anything. I am so sorry I met this person, and as much as I love my son, if some higher power offered to take me back almost 11yrs so I would never meet this person I would do it. This person has caused me more pain in the last 3yrs than the previous 40 I've been alive combined. I can't even comprehend how someone can be as heartless and cruel as she has demonstrated. Worst part is I'm pretty sure most people are more like her than me. That is so depressing.

 

Yes, it's brutal. The worth it part. I don't entirely know. I do know that we have a longer lifespan the more relationships we have (not like "I banged 6000 women and had 230 girlfriends" relationships) Friendship-type and intimate relationships correlate with overall greater happiness, life-satisfaction and lifespan. In fact our relationships contribute more to our happiness than any other factor.

 

Even more surprising. They don't even need to actually love us back for our brains to respond well to it. If you are volunteering and making connections with people etc, it can actually give you quite the endorphin boost and health benefits. BUT the problems come in when we give more than we should and someone kicks sand in our face. They don't need to "love" us but we need to be able to love them without risking personal or psychological damage.

 

But back to a suggestion I made to you two years ago MM4, you didn't read that one book, did you?

 

It addresses some of these things rather well. You've handed her your happiness in a way that you haven't resolved yet.

[marqueemoon4]

 

But back to a suggestion I made to you two years ago MM4, you didn't read that one book, did you?

 

It addresses some of these things rather well. You've handed her your happiness in a way that you haven't resolved yet.

 

What was the name of the book? I bought one I think you suggested, but didn't finish it.

 

I would agree about handing my happiness to her if it was just her I lost. But that doesn't take my son into account, nor the financial devastation the divorce has caused. Am I wrong?

[dreamingoftigers]

What was the name of the book? I bought one I think you suggested, but didn't finish it.

 

I would agree about handing my happiness to her if it was just her I lost. But that doesn't take my son into account, nor the financial devastation the divorce has caused. Am I wrong?

 

Dude, I'm not saying you're wrong at all. Not at all.

 

Don't think I am sitting back in my cabana going, "Oh that foolish MM4" SMH.

 

And yeah it was the one you bought and didn't finish. I know that the first part kind of drones.......

 

As for the financial:

Stefan Sagmeister: Happiness by design | Video on TED.com

 

(but of course you find that the main factor is relational)

[dreamingoftigers]

Dude, I'm not saying you're wrong at all. Not at all.

 

Don't think I am sitting back in my cabana going, "Oh that foolish MM4" SMH.

 

And yeah it was the one you bought and didn't finish. I know that the first part kind of drones.......

 

As for the financial:

Stefan Sagmeister: Happiness by design | Video on TED.com

 

(but of course you find that the main factor is relational)

 

The link is only a regurgitation of the more commonly-know studies regarding happiness.

 

There is, of course, another book Being Happy by Ben tal-shahar It isn't about grand promises etc.

[marqueemoon4]

Dude, I'm not saying you're wrong at all. Not at all.

 

Don't think I am sitting back in my cabana going, "Oh that foolish MM4" SMH.

 

And yeah it was the one you bought and didn't finish. I know that the first part kind of drones.......

 

As for the financial:

Stefan Sagmeister: Happiness by design | Video on TED.com

 

(but of course you find that the main factor is relational)

 

 

Right, I wasn't being defensive, it was more like me asking myself "am I crazy"?

 

I guess by societal norms I should over this whole thing, put it behind me and accepted it. Yet I haven't... not even close. I don't know if its because she betrayed me in such an epic way, or its just something I can't handle. And links and therapists and all that stuff are great, but don't seem to do much. I'm really concerned, and historically I'm the type who gets over things quickly and moves forward. It's scary.