Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 Her reply is all about CONTROL. My wife would say the same thing if I had proposed that. i guess she'll only be TRULY happy when I'm with someone 10 times better than her. and thats totally in the cards. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 i guess she'll only be TRULY happy when I'm with someone 10 times better than her. and thats totally in the cards. Ya think she'll be happy then?? I think she'll be jealous as hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 Ya think she'll be happy then?? I think she'll be jealous as hell. a normal human being would be. shes inhuman. Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 i have to agree, my guess is jealous. unless you were a really horrible awful husband ( not in her version of reality, but in ACTUAL reality) she is going to be jealous. BUT, it all depends on what version of "better than her" you're going for...... if it's looks wise, yeah, big time jealousy. but if it's humanity wise/ core values wise, she probably won't be as jealous. now, if you were an absolutely awful husband, she will be happy that you're with someone else. OR, if she knew that no matter what she did it was never going to be enough for you. never going to be what you wanted and needed her to be, she will be happy for you too. she'll hope you finally found the right person for YOU. why would she want to clear the air? she is divorced and has moved onto a new victim. she has no need nor reason to clear the air.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Can we get back to trash talking our spouses please? This is getting too real again. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 why would she want to clear the air? she is divorced and has moved onto a new victim. she has no need nor reason to clear the air.......... true. But I think MM4 is understandably looking for closure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) why would she want to clear the air? she is divorced and has moved onto a new victim. she has no need nor reason to clear the air.......... uhhhh.. for our son? is this the way females think? so, If I didn't give a **** about her, found someone else, I should treat her with indifference, contempt, and try to take her for as much as possible going forward? I must've missed that chapter in the relationship handbook. and believe me, I was no worse a husband as she was a wife. I loved her, I was attracted to her, I tried to be as loving as possible, affectionate etc but she rejected over and over. jeez at least I supported her for years.. I never got ****e out of the r/l. oh except my son, who she tried to take away and is now raising under the roof of some complete scumbag. thanks for that honey!! Edited July 26, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 honestly, there should be divorce vows that go along with marriage vows. "I do solelmly swear, that if we hit a rough patch, or things aren't going well, or if I meet a guy I'd rather be with other than you, that I can divorce you, separate you from your child, being as callous, cold and heartless as I'm capable of, and you can't do a ****ing thing about it. Oh, and give me my check please" clearly I was NAIVE as hell. I think I'm the only man over the age of 25 who thought being the father of her son mean something, that marriage meant something, that a child having TWO REAL PARENTS in their life every day was the only option. i married a spoiled brat who thinks the world owes her a living and has never done **** for herself. she thought that spending time with her ****ed up family and new "friends" was more important than working things out with the person she vowed to love "forever". what a joke. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 mm4: My wife does the same thing, prioritizing her friends/socializing over fixing her marriage. Also, the not working, spoiled, expecting people to just take care of everything for her. This is all so typical, I see it constantly. Sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 mm4: My wife does the same thing, prioritizing her friends/socializing over fixing her marriage. Also, the not working, spoiled, expecting people to just take care of everything for her. This is all so typical, I see it constantly. Sucks. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh because all women are raised to believe they're Cinderella and they should be put up on a pedestal and everything done for them. PUHLEEZE. its a TWO WAY ****IN STREET LADIES. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 mm4: I am really starting to think that is true man. Over and over again, same story every time. Wife is a little unhappy, wants more excitement or something new because she is feeling lazy and does not want to put in more effort into the marriage and decides to go elsewhere for her jollies. If you put in effort, you get effort back generally. Things can always improve in a relationship if both parties TRY. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 yea honey, I'm sure there are plenty of guys that would be fine with taking you home and banging the hell out of you.. lets see how long OM puts up with your nonsense, and with a kid thats not his. Oh wait, if you feel you're losing your grasp of him you'll just make up a bunch of empty promises to keep him around or throw a major guilt trip on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 mm4: I am really starting to think that is true man. Over and over again, same story every time. Wife is a little unhappy, wants more excitement or something new because she is feeling lazy and does not want to put in more effort into the marriage and decides to go elsewhere for her jollies. If you put in effort, you get effort back generally. Things can always improve in a relationship if both parties TRY. omfg.. neither she nor I put any effort into fixing things.. I will admit, I had not grasped just how huge it would be if she left and took my son. thats on me, for sure. but now to find out how it was all planned out, how she was cheating? how she was banging some other dude while were at MC that SHE suggested we go to? I mean, really WTF. the accusations she's made about me are SERIOUS. saying I was verbally/emotionally abusive.. wow, I have/had my issues but in the grand scheme it was pretty mild and she is ALWAYS the victim. there is no question it was something I needed to work on. it reminds of the scene in Breakfast Club when John Benders is doing that back and forth with his father.. and he's NO DAD, WHAT ABOUT YOU? **** YOU NO DAD WHAT ABOUT YOU?? its like, she comes from this perspective that she did no wrong, and that HER being a ****ty wife played NO ROLE in why things were the way they were. that is beyond immature and irresponsible, especially when a 4yr old boy who loves both his parents is going to miss out on having a REAL FAMILY. oh, but its really common and happens every day!! our culture of divorce/selfishness/materialism is disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Seriously man.. I hate our society. It has morphed into such a piece of s***. I guess it is good we did not have kids because to be honest, I am not so sure I would want to bring a child into this world. Good luck to you, you are doing the right thing. Your wife is a filthy pirate hooker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 Seriously man.. I hate our society. It has morphed into such a piece of s***. I guess it is good we did not have kids because to be honest, I am not so sure I would want to bring a child into this world. Good luck to you, you are doing the right thing. Your wife is a filthy pirate hooker. man, i struggled with that so much.. bringing a child into this world. dude, I love that kid so much.. im about to bust out crying thinking of him because I miss him so much. pretty much man, if it weren't for him, ****, I dont know what I'd do. Link to post Share on other sites
Tech_E Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 I couldn't agree more. I read this so much, these g__ d___ed women whining that they don't get enough attention, or enough of this or enough of that. Expect us to read their minds, then go off and bang someone else and try and justify it. Makes my blood boil. Then again perhaps it's payback for all the years where when men had affairs it was almost socially acceptable. Aaarrrrggghhh. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 mm4: Regardless you are doing the right thing. I am envious of any one who gets to have the joy of raising a child. I would love it... look forward to it one day. But really.. the world is f'ed up, scary.. not sure I would want to anymore. Especially since my concept of marriage/family is now soiled. Tech_E: No payback.. just people are becoming way too involved in themselves and no one else. It's all about me, me, me. I hate it. Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 no. this is not the way FEMALES think. this is the way YOUR EX WIFE thinks. in her world, what would be the point? she has nothing to say to you. unless it's to b*tch and moan! haven't you seen that? has she been nice to you AT ALL in the past year? and i mean genuinely nice? i'm sure closure would be great, but you are trying to rationalize an IRRATIONAL person! she doesn't care and therefore even if she said "yes, let's clear the air" would you really believe a word of what she said??? or would it be more of HER reality?? in my situation, when i tried to "clear the air" all i heard was about i was a failure as a human being. i heard all the reasons i sucked as a person and as a wife. that a job was the priority to fixing over a failed 15 yr realationship. so, i could be the one saying " is that how ALL men view this?" that you get married KNOWING you can walk away any time you want? that you can avoid and ignore all member of the family you helped create because you CHOOSE to work over 80 hrs a week?? that you can tell your wife, who would have sex with you pretty much anytime you wanted and almost always initiated that she was "boring in bed." despite the fact that she really was willing to do just about anything you asked..... i mean, really?!?!?! and we're not ALL raised to be like cinderella! i worked my tail off, at night, and raised a baby while my stbx was still in school. i moved every single time he wanted a new job. i had more kids. i took care of our house and worked from home for years, but in his eyes, because i didn't LEAVE the house what i did didn't count. even though i made money and didn't have to hire child care it didn't count. how many times did i hear, " a monkey can do what you do." no, not all women think that we are to be placed on a pedestal and left there, never to lift a finger. and we aren't all bad either. we don't all demand constant attention. some of us actually don't mind being left alone for periods of time. we are OK with it!! some of us do a really good job taking care of things when you all travel or get deployed. and a lot of us are extremely supportive and resourceful when you lose a job or can't work!!! some of us will sacrifice more than you can imagine, we will become extra frugal. and some of us will even tell you that we want LESS because life will be easier with LESS!!! and you know what. there are some really good really generous really selfless people in this world! maybe not a lot and maybe not everywhere, but they are out there. people who will give you more than you can ever imagine and could never ask for or repay!! uhhhh.. for our son? is this the way females think? so, If I didn't give a **** about her, found someone else, I should treat her with indifference, contempt, and try to take her for as much as possible going forward? I must've missed that chapter in the relationship handbook. and believe me, I was no worse a husband as she was a wife. I loved her, I was attracted to her, I tried to be as loving as possible, affectionate etc but she rejected over and over. jeez at least I supported her for years.. I never got ****e out of the r/l. oh except my son, who she tried to take away and is now raising under the roof of some complete scumbag. thanks for that honey!! Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 what of your actions are leading her to HER accusations? i mean, abuse is very textbook. like how to abuse 101. the words/ actions will differ man to man, but the patterns and tactics are the same. that's why it's easy to see if someone truly has suffered from abuse. what kinds of things is she accusing you of? i didn't realize how many people witnessed my situation til i was out of the marriage. people willing to testify because of things he had done or said. but, the biggest things were that people i had never met could hear me talk for 5 min and identify my marriage as abusive. that others that never met us before could tell me i needed to leave him, like yesterday......... and if you know you weren't, let her accuse all you want. if you know you weren't it doesn't really matter what HER reality says anyway. read up on it and educate yourself if you're worried about friends and what they might say. one of my situations involved a loaded handgun and him entering a house he no longer lived in late at night. when i told someone he had scared me to death with his actions they asked him to have a meeting with them. when they told him how i had felt, that he had scared me, his response to them was that he was justified. and his words towards me after the meeting were that i was slandering his name. that i had no right NOR reason to be afraid. he actually told me that i was wrong for being frightened...... I mean, really WTF. the accusations she's made about me are SERIOUS. saying I was verbally/emotionally abusive.. wow, I have/had my issues but in the grand scheme it was pretty mild and she is ALWAYS the victim. there is no question it was something I needed to work on. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 i'm sure closure would be great, but you are trying to rationalize an IRRATIONAL person! she doesn't care and therefore even if she said "yes, let's clear the air" would you really believe a word of what she said??? or would it be more of HER reality?? !! so true - In the past month I have had urges to call her and have her explain to me what the hell is she doing... but then luckily my common sense takes over when I realize that I'd be talking to a Major League BS artist and a liar.... what's the point, leaving a 12 year old behind to live with a guy she has know on the internet for a couple of months is rational thinking in her mind... guys not all women are like our ex's, there are many out there who will not rake you over the coals, I know it's tough to see the light right now but it's there shining somewhere but we can only see it when we open our eyes.... Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 You know, as a woman I just don't get how people who were supposedly in love can behave to each other either. I used to think what a scum bag my xH was and that men were not worth it. Then I eventually met my OH, and my faith is restored Just remember guys, this phase does pass. MM4, your wife is doing blame shifting for all the sh$tty things she is doing to you. But remember, despite all the heartache she has put you through, you have something very precious come out of the relationship and that is your son Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 Updown I'm sorry.. I shouldn't stereotype all women, I'm sorry because if I read that ALL.men were abusive cheating monsters i'd take offense too. That's not cool. I will say doneome women are terrifying during divorce and after. I keep trying to do the right things regardless if she cares or recipricates in any way. I want to be the bigger person. I AM SO HURT! I loved this woman so much I didn't think she could ever treat me like this after everything. I'm sensitive, I just am. My mom noticed it when I was a kid and she feared theyre would be a lot of heartache in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 i'm not offended, trust me. i am very hard to offend. but, i just want you to see that applying your wife's logic to the rest of woman kind is a mistake. a big one! you are a GOOD man! and your son is so lucky to have you in his life. you are BETTER than this! you are BETTER than what she has done to you. better than judging a book by it's cover. you are. you just have to believe it yourself. you're sensative and you're hurt. that is understandable! completely. but, please don't let her choices and path and the pain she has inflicted upon you define who you are from this point forward. the bitterness will show through to others. it will seep into your life and women will leave. they will run. don't be the bitter person she thinks you are. be better than that! be fun, and kind. be outgoing, adventurous and daring. be sweet and generous. be loving and thoughtful. be gentle and respectful with your actions and your words. be HAPPY!!!! i know you can do that. i just KNOW it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 i'm not offended, trust me. i am very hard to offend. but, i just want you to see that applying your wife's logic to the rest of woman kind is a mistake. a big one! you are a GOOD man! and your son is so lucky to have you in his life. you are BETTER than this! you are BETTER than what she has done to you. better than judging a book by it's cover. you are. you just have to believe it yourself. you're sensative and you're hurt. that is understandable! completely. but, please don't let her choices and path and the pain she has inflicted upon you define who you are from this point forward. the bitterness will show through to others. it will seep into your life and women will leave. they will run. don't be the bitter person she thinks you are. be better than that! be fun, and kind. be outgoing, adventurous and daring. be sweet and generous. be loving and thoughtful. be gentle and respectful with your actions and your words. be HAPPY!!!! i know you can do that. i just KNOW it! thank you for the kind words.. I know these things are true. not only am I a good person but I am honest to a fault and fiercely loyal. i hate feeling like I got played and taken advantage of by this person. i hate that in 8yrs she never even knew me, and I obviously didn't know her as much as I tried. i would've never thrown her under the bus for ANY reason, and I respect our time together and the fact we have a son. i'm sickened she does not, but I can't do anything about that. this whole thing has set me back years. I'd love to feel happy with the way things are but I'm not even close. in time I hope to feel differently. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 mm4: I am sensitive too, it makes things so much harder for guys like us. When we do find a woman who loves a sensitive guy, we will be in good shape. Some women find it irresistible, while some want more of a macho meathead type of guy. Can't be anything but yourself, right? Link to post Share on other sites
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