Could Nyone help me plzzzzz

[me4u]

hi everyone!! tahnks in advance for ur valuable advice.my story goes like this....

 

I have been best of friends with A and B who were seeing each other from past 3 yrs but they broke up last sept because A thought he fell out of love with B.I had a gf too till last oct.My ex- dumped walked out one me 'cause she thought she cldn't get over her past.I live ina completely diff country as i am here for my studies while A and B are in my home country.After B broke up i used to call her everyday as she was feeling down and low..i kinda got close to her and started liking her...In february i expressed my feelings for her and she was kinda shocked.she told me that she has always thought of me as a frnd and if it has to go somethin more than tht she would need time.so i told her to take time.

 

She is still in touch with A and she also told me tht she is in the process of gettin over him and she likes me and tells me i am a nice guy and all tht stuff.she has told her parents abt me(me liking her)....but after i told her tht i like her she kinda changed..she was distancing herslef from me for some days.then i told her to relax and told her that no matter what her decision is we would still remian frnds.i am kinda frustrated now..i talk to her everyday.and she sounds tht she is happy whn she is talkin to me..she also told me that she needs time even though its already 3 mnths.i haven't asked her how much time she needs as i thought it would be mean to ask her.i donno what to do as i feel i have fallen in love with her...i even told her tht i have fallen in love with her yesterday for which she told --ok..thats it..

 

once i told her tht i should nt have told her my feelings as she is distancing herself frm me..she told me""no ur fine..its good actually u told me"and whn i asked her why is tht she is nt talkin to me properly she sd, "everytime i call her up she feels bad as she is keepin me hangin in the air and she is nt able to take a decision"...guys,i am really confused as to what to do..i am sooo far awya from her..i can't even meet her to express my feelings for her...I am thinking of goin home this summer so that i can meet her...

 

To add to this B told A tht i like her..A was surprised and after few days he called B and told her that he wants her back(eventhough he dumped her)..bt B sd she can;t get back..i really need advice people as to what to do next..do u think she likes me..and do u guys think tht i have to speak to A and ask him if he still loves B and if he ds then i shld juss back off...people plz gimme some advice here...i would really appreciate it..thnx a lot.

[Bobbie]

ok.

I don't think you have any responsibility to approach A even if you do both want the same woman: she's not married or living with him.

 

Why not try asking A again then taking some time out if she isn't interested.

 

You'll not be wanting her around you for a while if she turns you down and you're mad about her, to give you space to get over her.

 

In any case make sure you're making a good life for yourself not hanging around on the offchance one relationship will work out.

[Pipi]

Dude you need to sit down and relax and stop stressing about this. You are obviously very far away from each other and the space and distance may have made you romantacise about what B is really like... if you are not physically near each other in the same city (let alone country) then your feelings are obviously more intensified with the distance - you know what I mean?

 

Sounds like there's nothing you can do anyway cos you are so far away and won't be seeing her till the summer, I think this gives you some time to sit back and give your self some time first, and let A and B sort themselves out. Jumping in a relationship with someone just out of a relationship could be complicated, and she did say she needed some time so I think you should respect that. Plus how does A feel about you as a friend moving onto his ex would that ruin the friendship and would it be awkward if you see each other socially etc?

 

What about other girls in the country you are in right now maybe they can bring you back down on earth - there's no point being involved in something so far away. Wait till you see them in the summer and things will fall into place.

[me4u]

hi!!thnx a lot for ur reply..i think i need to juss relax a bit and think calmly..do i have to juss stop calling her for sometime??what do u guys think.as of now i have been talkin to her everyday..how do i go about it??advice plz...

[Pipi]

Yeah don't call her as often try and stick to emails or something so you are not vulnerable to changes of emotions immediately - ie. if she gets upset over the phone then you get upset then it turns to custard. Over email at least you can choose when to respond and at least calm down if you hear of bad news or something.

 

Space is important and distancing yourself isn't neglect, it simply is protecting yourself and taking some time off the intensity of the issues. Its hard but it bloody works mate.

[Pipi]

oh also, is it her that's been calling or you that's been calling? if its you then stop, if its her then try and not be available so much - don't let her use you to depend on emotionally then turn around and reject your feelings for her, that's totally unfair!

[me4u]

hey pipi...thnx once again...actually its me callin her everyday.i call her 'cause its much reasonable for me to call...so i guess as u sd i shld nt call her for sometime..do u have any idea how i shld take on the situation frm here..she has been my best of frnd for 4 yrs.bt off late things have definitely changed..how do i repair things if at all i can???