HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 This is so hard. So painful. I hate NC. The reason I'm upset now is no longer about the breakup, it's about the way he's being towards me now. I so badly want to call him! Here his voice and laugh with him and then everything will be ok. Or shout and scream at him. I don't know if I can fight calling him for long :/ hm... you can call me lol, try staying busy, go for a walk or something. Take that pain and find a way to use it towards something constructive. You can do this, I know you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emby Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 hm... you can call me lol, try staying busy, go for a walk or something. Take that pain and find a way to use it towards something constructive. You can do this, I know you can. Thanks Heart . I would call you, but I'm in the UK...and I'm not the one who pays my phone bill Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks Heart . I would call you, but I'm in the UK...and I'm not the one who pays my phone bill haha good point, I'm sure my parents wouldn't be to happy paying for international calls either. when you become an established member I'll PM you either my primary email address or primary AIM sn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emby Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 haha good point, I'm sure my parents wouldn't be to happy paying for international calls either. when you become an established member I'll PM you either my primary email address or primary AIM sn. Awesome, I was wondering how private messages work on here...so apparently I'm just not established enough hm? I didn't call him today, nor stick around on facebook waiting for him to appear. I'm proud of myself for that! Tomorrow I'm going to Wales with my sister and a mutual friend to sit on the beach and have some drinks...should be fun and thankfully I'll be away from a computer for the day Link to post Share on other sites
Author emby Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) I have news!!! In a way, I did something bad, but I'm so so glad I did. When I was in Wales, there was a short time when I was left on a bench by the sea. As I was looking out, for some reason something compelled me to phone my ex...so I did. He answered after 2 rings. Just as I had been wishing for, he was his usual cheery friendly self towards me! I asked him all about what he's been up to. He's joined a gym...after I tried to get him to go to the gym throughout our relationship (I'm a gym regular)...typical! He spoke about his holiday and that he's been working lots, but he might be going back to uni (200 miles away) as early as the last week of August . So if we don't meet up sometime in August then I won't see him until December which is kind of an unbearable idea. Anyway, I asked him why he'd been ignoring me and he said he's genuinely been that busy with work. I asked why so cold and distant over facebook, and lo and behold, it was because he didn't believe that I'd changed and wasn't just going to be begging for him back- he was wary of me like I thought. He said that now he's spoken to me on the phone he does realise that I've changed. He said he wanted there to be a difference between how/how much we talked when we were still together and how/how much we talk now we're apart. So basically, he wanted to get me out of my denial. Luckily I'm not in denial anymore anyway. So overall, a good conversation. He definitely still wants to be friends. That's so important to me. He mentioned the time I'd asked if we could ever be together again and he'd said "I don't know, anything could happen in the future"- but he didn't say he'd changed how he felt about that. I still want him back but I have some doubts/reservations anyway. I wouldn't want to get back together yet even if he begged for it. I need some time by myself. However, I want to see him at least once before he goes back to uni. I do have some things of his, but they're hardly important and I think if I asked he'd tell me just to keep them (a tie and some 'geek glasses' for dress up). Edit: A strange thing is that I wasn't upset at all. I thought I'd get through the conversation fine and then burst into tears afterwards because I miss him so much. But I was fine. I wasn't ecstatically happy either. What do you think I should do next? Edited July 27, 2011 by emby Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 You've opened the lines of communication and have become a little more emotionally stable... good for you. If I were you I'd just go with the flow, just let whatever happens happen. Now with that said don't flood his phone with calls or texts that would scare him away lol. If you do want to see him before he leaves for uni I would just forget about the day he leaves, it will just add pressure to you and he will sense that. If he senses that he will probably misinterpret it. he will think you are trying to win him over and that you really haven't changed all that much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emby Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 Soo..precisely exactly what should I do?? It's annoying that we're long distance, because I can't really ask him to do something with me casually, go for coffee or something. And I know that he's working a lot and he's going to want to spend times with his friends. Sometimes I wonder if he broke up with me just because he didn't think he'd have time to see me over the summer and he knew it would piss me off :/. If I'm going to see him then it's only going to be once, so I have to get the timing right to ask. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 exchange a few emails here and there, don't respond immediately when he contacts you. same goes for text messages and IM's. You don't want to come across as being too available to him, maybe call him again in two weeks or so and just start a casual conversation with him. Ask about his intentions for this semester and get the details on what he wants from uni. Then suggest meeting again before he leaves because you don't want to wait a few months and you're also not sure that you will see each other again after. That's what I would do, but I haven't won an ex back. Link to post Share on other sites
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