scorpiowomen77 Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 When I first got with my man he was still talking to the mother of his daughter and he would discuss sexual things with her and he would be all up in her business about her new boyfriend. What was his point in that. Shortly after he got off the phone with her he would constantly talk about his ex. She would call him and he would call her back and fourth the whole three months we were together. Than she disappeared he hasn't spoke to her in almost 8 months now. I personally felt maybe he was still in love with her or there is feelings there for her. He just got done playing around with her 5 months before he met me. Than he meets me and she shows back up or he was talking to her all along. What does everyone think? Are these feelings always going to show up every time he talks to her and sees her. Link to post Share on other sites
sonofhud Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 I've never been in his position, but I would think that he would always have some feelings for her since she is the mother of his child. He can't just block her out every time he wants like he could with any other girl he hooks up with. When I first got with my man he was still talking to the mother of his daughter and he would discuss sexual things with her and he would be all up in her business about her new boyfriend. Whether he is all up in her business or not, he has a repsnosibility as a parent to take care of his child. If the mother is sleeping around or keeping the kid in an environment which he/she should not be in then he has to take action. Link to post Share on other sites
DiorAddict Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Yes, the child will bond him to her for the rest of his life, so even if you guys get married, both the child AND her will be in the picture. She's never going to go away. i stopped dating this musicial because of that. I wanted someone I could start from scratch with, not someone who's "been there, done that". Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by scorpiowomen77 ...Than she disappeared he hasn't spoke to her in almost 8 months now. I take it that this all happened eight months ago? ...I personally felt maybe he was still in love with her or there is feelings there for her. Well, that was all eight months ago. I don't see why it'd be a concern now. He just got done playing around with her 5 months before he met me. Than he meets me and she shows back up or he was talking to her all along. What does everyone think? Well, if this happened eight months ago, why does this all now suddenly become important to you? If he has a child with this woman of course he is still going to have to talk to her on occasion, which I would think you'd have understood when you got involved with him. I would imagine he is concerned about his child. Are these feelings always going to show up every time he talks to her and sees her. Well, eight months passed, right? I'd say there's nothing to worry about at the present, unless I completely misunderstand you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiowomen77 Posted April 25, 2004 Author Share Posted April 25, 2004 He was talking about sexual stuff with her. How long will it take for thoes sexual caring feelings he has for her? Never mind Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiowomen77 Posted April 25, 2004 Author Share Posted April 25, 2004 I was trippin that when he talked to his ex girlfriend he would bring up past issues and thier sexual relationship together. I felt very uncomfortable about that. I did make it clear the only thing he is to talk to her about is there only connection their daughter not sexual things like what they used to do together that is in the past and it should remain there. I don't talk about sexual stuff with the father of my son. I'm not on that level I only discuss are son. Isn't that fair to say. When she pops up again the talk should only be when he can see his daughter not how good she used to be in bed or how good he ate her out. He shouldn't talk about her new boyfriend. He acts jealous of her new man. He is with me it shouldn't matter if she has a new boyfriend he isn't in the picture anymore. All he should talk about is his daughter. I just feel if he has feeling for her and if he is in love with her still he shouldn't be with me. I'm a very jealous and insecure person. I think he knows that now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiowomen77 Posted April 25, 2004 Author Share Posted April 25, 2004 He is with me now I will let all that go. I have fears that when she pops up again all the feeling he has for her will pop up again. I'm jealous of that and it eats me up inside. I shouldn't be our relationship is so much better. Were not messed up on drugs and I didn't get pregnant by him three month after meeting him. We have been together for almost a year now. We got it way better than they did. There relationship was based on sex and drugs and they never really got to know each other. Thanks for the replys. I'm just being stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 I wouldn't say you are stupid, just confused. If you feel like the person you are with has feelings for his ex, the best thing to do is ask him. As for her being in his life, it's going to happen.. they have a child together. If you don't want to see her or hear about her, then perhaps it is time for you to move on. Otherwise, ask him what he feels for her and deal with your jealousy. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 I was in a situation like yours once. I couldn't put up with it. My Ex had a baby daughter to his Ex. The only difference was the mother still wanted him back and kept butting in. That made the relationship get to hard. My Ex ended up dumping me (I was really hurt and a little hear broken but got over it in a couple of weeks) and going back to that bitch. They're relationship was also into the whole sex and drugs thing. I guess he missed the drugs part of that relationship. Supposedly they were going to clean up their act. I bet they both haven't. THe only difference was that they were together for 4 yrs and were once engaged. The Ex is always going to be in his life no matter what you do. She is the mother of that baby. She will always have a connection to him through that. Which sux. I know. From my experience and from what I think men always go running back or will never stop caring about the mother of their child. It's either one or the other. How long can you live in that relationship with those thoughts in the back of your mind all the time and all that jealousy as well? Like you said it eats you up inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiowomen77 Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 I'm kind of glad he hasn't talked or seen her in almost nine months and were moving out together in 3 months. Were moving to Reno. I don't think it's going to be much of a problem. These two have tried being together without the drugs the relationship didn't work they tried on the drugs they tried together as friends still didn't work. They have been together off and on as I see fit this wasn't even a real relationship. They barely even knew each other and they had a one night stand and she got pregnant. The relationship with these two will never work out. I feel bad he hasn't seen his daughter in 9 months, but if it hurts every time he sees his ex and old feelings of love pop up maybe he should just let her go all together. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Well I hope everything works out for you. If it's what you want and you know you can handle the situation then I say stick too it. Just think through what you are gonna do if his Ex and his daughter come back into his life. Oh and would you support him if he got custody of his daughter? Just curious. I am so glad that my Ex dumped me now. I have a pretty good boyfriend who isn't attached to anybody from the past and has no kids. It took a while to find someone a long while but it does happen. Still it looks like things are going well for you so stick with him for now and see how things go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiowomen77 Posted April 29, 2004 Author Share Posted April 29, 2004 He has custody of his 7 year old son. I'm married, but seperated. I have custudy of my 6 year old son. We support each other actually. He made his ex my problem when he was discussing sexual things 8 months ago and it's obvious I don't let things go very easy. When he was talking to her 8 months ago he showed me by actions that he was still in love with her he got jealous over her new man. If you could see his face you could tell he was completely in love with her still. I need to let that go. He told me he wouldn't ever do that again, because he knows how I feel about the situation and I told him he would be gone if he ever discussed personal issues like that with her again. I'm a women I know what I want and I know who I'am. I don't play games and he knows that. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Well if you two have kids you can understand more of what he is going through. It seems you guys are sorting through some things. Good Luck to you guys is all I can say. . Hopefully everything all works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiowomen77 Posted April 29, 2004 Author Share Posted April 29, 2004 Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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