Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[Anela]

1. Anela has never "whined" about younger women.

 

Thank you, Who. I haven't whined about younger women - I know several that I have a lot of respect for, and would never begrudge them anything. I have no problem with younger women in general, it's the attitude of certain men that really grates. I've said before that it's men around my age, who tend to make me feel old.

 

2. She is referring to fringe of usually frequently banned but often returning male posters who espouse the theory of women being washed up by 30 or other such epithets about 30+ women while extolling the virtues of younger women.

 

3. It is often in these threads where it is apparent that both sides seem to be on some kind of oneupmanship game of insults whereby the women say "you only date younger women, therefore you're insecure", and the men say "No, they are hotter than you and we can get them, so you're the ones who are insecure"

"No, you are!

"No, YOU are!"

"Yeah, well, you're a predator! Ner-ner"

"Well, you're a bitter old woman! Hah!"

 

Yep.

[joystickd]

1. Anela has never "whined" about younger women.

 

2. She is referring to fringe of usually frequently banned but often returning male posters who espouse the theory of women being washed up by 30 or other such epithets about 30+ women while extolling the virtues of younger women.

 

3. It is often in these threads where it is apparent that both sides seem to be on some kind of oneupmanship game of insults whereby the women say "you only date younger women, therefore you're insecure", and the men say "No, they are hotter than you and we can get them, so you're the ones who are insecure"

"No, you are!

"No, YOU are!"

"Yeah, well, you're a predator! Ner-ner"

"Well, you're a bitter old woman! Hah!"

 

You forgot my usual. Its better a turnout than a burnout

[xxoo]

I sense fear from the women. Not fear and jealousy of younger women, but fear that a woman might not be wanted after a certain age. Or worse, fear that the man we love might lose interest after a certain age.

 

Personally, I don't believe that. I know that there are men who appreciate and prefer women their own age.

 

I also know that there are men who don't. But I don't really value their opinion on the subject, so it bothers me none. But I also have a husband, my own age, so I'm not being faced with rejection from men my own age on a daily basis. I'm sure it gets old (pun intended).

[RedRobin]

And yes, 2 years older, is two years older. Prior I would not have considered dating a woman even a year older than me. That was my point. We are not dating, still getting to know her.

 

 

Interesting... same woman you created a thread about? You called it 5 dates there, if memory serves.

 

 

Said you made out too.

 

 

I'm sure she would be annoyed if she knew how embarrassed you are to admit dating a woman who is a whopping two years older than you... and making out with her.

 

 

I dunno. Was that thread just a vehicle to talk about meeting someone with lots of cash and a big house? I did notice that you didn't mention her age (since you do on every other thread... especially when they are younger). Now I know why.

[joystickd]

1. Anela has never "whined" about younger women.

 

2. She is referring to fringe of usually frequently banned but often returning male posters who espouse the theory of women being washed up by 30 or other such epithets about 30+ women while extolling the virtues of younger women.

 

3. It is often in these threads where it is apparent that both sides seem to be on some kind of oneupmanship game of insults whereby the women say "you only date younger women, therefore you're insecure", and the men say "No, they are hotter than you and we can get them, so you're the ones who are insecure"

"No, you are!

"No, YOU are!"

"Yeah, well, you're a predator! Ner-ner"

"Well, you're a bitter old woman! Hah!"

If a man devoted this much energy to something Anela and several other women would say they were whining. Just returning the energy back

[RedRobin]

I sense fear from the women. Not fear and jealousy of younger women, but fear that a woman might not be wanted after a certain age. Or worse, fear that the man we love might lose interest after a certain age.

 

Personally, I don't believe that. I know that there are men who appreciate and prefer women their own age.

 

I also know that there are men who don't. But I don't really value their opinion on the subject, so it bothers me none. But I also have a husband, my own age, so I'm not being faced with rejection from men my own age on a daily basis. I'm sure it gets old (pun intended).

 

 

It's not fear that obliges me to acknowledge what I've observed for a very, very long time.... starting at a young age.... and is being promoted here in this thread.

 

 

Those men who hit on me... They got that idea from somewhere... 'Somewhere' being that in their itty bitty brain they thought that attention was warranted. They think it is cool... or someone told them, "Hell, why not? Give it a shot? The worst she could say is no"

 

 

... and men who SHOULD know better who can't acknowledge... that no way in HELL would they want their own daughter to hook up with a much older man (not long term anyway)...

 

 

But 'somehow', 'someway'... those rules and thoughts don't apply when it comes to THEM... just like those rules and thoughts didn't apply to the so-called 'men' who hit on me over the years.

 

 

I'm sure they all believe THEY are the exception... but the reality is... they are not. Just like some of the guys here.

 

 

... and as far as the rejection thing from men my own age who prefer younger women. I don't take that any more personally than I take (or took) the attention of much older men. It has nothing to do with ME and everything to do with THEM.

 

 

To me, they are no different than any other user... albeit, they are using some other commodity. Or trying to.

Edited April 16, 2014 by RedRobin

[xxoo]

But why does it bother you? There will always be scummy men. Scummy women, too. Users of both genders. Just screen them out.

[Radu]

Fellas, this is the perennial older men thread ... stop this understanding, you need to bicker more.

[joystickd]

It's not fear that obliges me to acknowledge what I've observed for a very, very long time.... starting at a young age.... and is being promoted here in this thread.

 

 

Those men who hit on me... They got that idea from somewhere... 'Somewhere' being that in their itty bitty brain they thought that attention was warranted. They think it is cool... or someone told them, "Hell, why not? Give it a shot? The worst she could say is no"

 

 

... and men who SHOULD know better who can't acknowledge... that no way in HELL would they want their own daughter to hook up with a much older man (not long term anyway)...

 

 

But 'somehow', 'someway'... those rules and thoughts don't apply when it comes to THEM... just like those rules and thoughts didn't apply to the so-called 'men' who hit on me over the years.

 

 

I'm sure they all believe THEY are the exception... but the reality is... they are not. Just like some of the guys here.

 

 

... and as far as the rejection thing from men my own age who prefer younger women. I don't take that any more personally than I take (or took) the attention of much older men. It has nothing to do with ME and everything to do with THEM.

 

 

To me, they are no different than any other user... albeit, they are using some other commodity. Or trying to.

Sometimes I wonder about women that want a relationship with a man claim to know there are good men but all they have is negativity when talking about men. It seems all you have is negativity when talking about men. I haven't seen one post that contained something positive about men. A man that considered dating you saw this he would run to the hills.

Love Iron Maiden lol

 

Women like you it's no wonder some men go younger. It's better a turnout than a burnout. Who wants someone that has all this negativity inside them. Just waiting for the man to push for sex or do what they think all men do that is bad. For someone that thinks men can be better or seen long lasting love your words on here sure as hell don't go along with that shyte as you would say. Sad deal Red Robin being the fringe female:(:(

[pickflicker]

I've seen and experienced many incidents of older men preying on younger women. The much older MM preying on my sister. The much older man preying on my niece. The much older man preying on me - a trusted teacher who took advantage of my vulnerability. The other much older man who tried to assault my older sister. The various older men who pursued me and caused distress, propositioning me, hitting on me knowing that I was married, even crashing into my car to get my attention. Redrobin has just as many horror stories of much older men taking advantage of their position (her doctor, her professors, her bosses, etc.) Even my son's girlfriends have horror stories of much older men hitting on them and giving them unwanted attention, many of them being married older men. My clients have been manipulated and taken advantage of by much older men as well. Some older men, many older men, are like this. Fortunately, many or most are not. Instead of older men being role models for younger men on how to treat women with respect, and instead of older men being protectors of women, they end up being users/manipulators/predators of younger women. Some older men, many older men, are like this. I just get a little disgusted by it sometimes.

 

Which is it?

 

I hope you counsel people with more clarity than you voice your opinions on here.

[pickflicker]

Love Iron Maiden lol

 

 

Me too

.....

[joystickd]

Which is it?

 

I hope you counsel people with more clarity than you voice your opinions on here.

I'm thinking she believes it's all men. I think the one on here whining about older men think that. Let the two words older men or younger women come up and it's passionate monologue time. It could be referring to something totally different and they will change the direction to how older men are predatory or younger women have issues. It reminds me of how a user turned everything into a monologue about porn.

[RedRobin]

But why does it bother you? There will always be scummy men. Scummy women, too. Users of both genders. Just screen them out.

 

I do. Sometimes their attitudes aren't obvious. Like the same age guys who try to make FWB out of women their own age, but will only 'commit' to younger ones.... Whatever commitment means to them... Usually it means until she figures things out... That is what happened to me last year... Twice. Of course... They didn't get far... But it was pretty disgusting. Just like it was disgusting when the men I thought were my mentors tried to get with me under false pretenses. It is all on the same continuum in my mind. It comes from the exact same messed up mental space in both cases.

 

I am tired of screening them out. I am tired of being obliged to be the one with the filters... Because too many people in our culture pat them on the back. Both now and when I was younger.

[Anela]

If a man devoted this much energy to something Anela and several other women would say they were whining. Just returning the energy back

 

Not always. But if posting on the same subject over and over, means that someone is whining, that means that you're guilty of it, too.

[Anela]

Fellas, this is the perennial older men thread ... stop this understanding, you need to bicker more.

 

In case you hadn't noticed, they DO bicker. And I have spent plenty of time on here talking to men who don't pull this crap, like Wholigan, and others.

[RedRobin]

Which is it?

 

I hope you counsel people with more clarity than you voice your opinions on here.

 

I think she is pretty clear.

 

It is you folks who are unclear On a few things...You don't realize that with your live and let live policy you give license to the predators, users, and manipulators.

[joystickd]

In case you hadn't noticed, they DO bicker. And I have spent plenty of time on here talking to men who don't pull this crap, like Wholigan, and others.

You bicker too so include yourself

[joystickd]

I think she is pretty clear.

 

It is you folks who are unclear On a few things...You don't realize that with your live and let live policy you give license to the predators, users, and manipulators.

No she wasn't clear. It's either some or most. Multiple choice. Maybe you two are speaking the fringe language.

[Anela]

Why the need to constantly insult all women over a certain age? Unless they don't complain about anything, ever, and then they're perfect for somebody (just not you, because of their age).

 

My dad still loves my mother, at the age of 68. When she was in her forties, and they got back together, he thought she was *hot*.

 

I've just turned 39, and am doing my best to not let this stuff hurt me anymore. I've earned and lived through every one of those years, and I'm not going to let anyone tell me that I've lived past my "expiration date".

[MidwestUSA]

Fellas, this is the perennial older men thread ... stop this understanding, you need to bicker more.

 

I saw his tongue in his cheek. Lighten up guys!

[joystickd]

Not always. But if posting on the same subject over and over, means that someone is whining, that means that you're guilty of it, too.

Find what I post over and over about and show a link or links on here. Go ahead and do it!!!

[joystickd]

Why the need to constantly insult all women over a certain age? Unless they don't complain about anything, ever, and then they're perfect for somebody (just not you, because of their age).

 

My dad still loves my mother, at the age of 68. When she was in her forties, and they got back together, he thought she was *hot*.

 

I've just turned 39, and am doing my best to not let this stuff hurt me anymore. I've earned and lived through every one of those years, and I'm not going to let anyone tell me that I've lived past my "expiration date".

Why act like it's all men?

[Anela]

You bicker too so include yourself

 

Occasionally. Not often. I've had a lot of laughs here on these forums, with great people. I was talking about your whining.

 

I've tried to help a few of the men on here who struggle, only to be reminded that I'm apparently over the hill and not wanted by any man, unless they're desperate. Why? Because I'm not 25 anymore. Why do you hone in on me so much? Wholigan was right: I don't whine about younger women. I have no respect for men who overlook women their own age, and expect to be taken seriously by college students.

 

Why does someone else here, insist on being nasty concerning older women, and go on and on about his beautiful temporary girlfriend, who he's paying to stick around? She attracts the attention of other beautiful young women, and it's a total ego thing. And those of us who are considered to be chopped liver, are supposed to be happy for him, or be called bitter and hateful. Why?

[Anela]

Find what I post over and over about and show a link or links on here. Go ahead and do it!!!

 

You're doing it right now! You've been in more than one thread, saying the same things, and arguing with me and others. I remember sympathizing with YOU, when you had family and girl troubles. So don't make me out to be some bitter person who never has anything nice to say. I'm NOT that person.

 

I've only ever thought it's all men, on really bad nights. Suicidal nights, when it seems like *everything* in my life has gone to s**t. And when I'm reminded, even by the guys who seem decent, that I'm not pretty enough, not young enough. I am allowed to be sad, just like everyone else. I've been a cheerleader for SD and others, until they just push things with the whole responding to, "I wouldn't have a girlfriend under 25" as, "you don't know what you're missing." It's an insult to the younger women, too. What are they supposed to think when they're over 25?

[RedRobin]

Same with my dad and mom...

 

If it makes you feel better Anela.... I just had a third date with the man who is three years older than me. He brought me flowers on my first date. Has told me more than once that he finds me beautiful without makeup.

 

He is in pretty good shape now.. But told me yesterday without prompting that he could be in better shape... That he is dating a hot woman that he wants to keep up with!!

 

...and today I am thinking... Ok... Where is the fine print? What is the catch? Attractive, intelligent, hardworking guy who likes to talk about cars and motorcycles with me... Wants to step up his workouts with me. Brings me flowers. Thinks I am hot. Oh, and acts like a gentleman too. So far so good.