Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[Keenly]

Very few, and not the best ones. But keep believing that if you like. Especially if believing that keeps you complacent.

 

 

There are lots of men who have cats later in life too, lol.

 

How condescendingly elitist of you. Does your back get sore on that high horse?

[RedRobin]

Anyway... ES... go for the 24 year old. No guarantees that any of the guys you meet (young, same, older) will be commitment minded... at least the 24 year old can keep up with you... and if you do end up together... has a better chance of spending your life together... not dying on you.

 

 

You can enjoy what is left of your youth in more ways than one... I wouldn't waste it being some old guys Viagra replacement... as much as they would LOVE for you to do that.

 

 

Don't be discouraged. You have a whole lot going for you.

[joystickd]

Sure he is...

 

 

He's saying that women have a hard time finding someone close to their age when they are looking to settle down, so they settle for the old guys. That's exactly what he said.... and I agree. Those women ARE settling.

 

 

Except he did it with the neener-neener tone... and another heaping dose of preconceptions about what women are doing in their 20's and 30's...

 

 

Same old LS garbage we've heard a million times.

 

He was saying used up women had to settle. My problem with you is you think your negative experiences with men are universal to all women. Its no wonder you are still single no man wants a woman with so much negativity to their own gender. Why harbor that much negativity? If you devoted that much energy in the opposite direction maybe you would have a man. No one wants a Bitter Betty. You spew LS garbage too

[RedRobin]

How condescendingly elitist of you. Does your back get sore on that high horse?

 

 

No, I never get tired of dishing back the same stuff some of you guys have been feeding us here forever.

 

 

But, I do take back one thing... Cats deserve good homes. Not sure how many of the guys on here I'd feel comfortable recommending as a pet owner. You have to have empathy for that.

[RedRobin]

He was saying used up women had to settle. My problem with you is you think your negative experiences with men are universal to all women. Its no wonder you are still single no man wants a woman with so much negativity to their own gender. Why harbor that much negativity? If you devoted that much energy in the opposite direction maybe you would have a man. No one wants a Bitter Betty. You spew LS garbage too

 

 

Well, there are a few 'used up' guys here who don't think they have to settle...

 

The ones who did the 'using up' in the first place, usually. Then think they can dip into the pool of young'ins for fresh meat.

 

That's what I'm sayin'....

[Keenly]

No, I never get tired of dishing back the same stuff some of you guys have been feeding us here forever.

 

 

But, I do take back one thing... Cats deserve good homes. Not sure how many of the guys on here I'd feel comfortable recommending as a pet owner. You have to have empathy for that.

 

Deflection.

 

 

What does empathy have to so with young women pursuing older men?

[joystickd]

Well, there are a few 'used up' guys here who don't think they have to settle...

 

The ones who did the 'using up' in the first place, usually. Then think they can dip into the pool of young'ins for fresh meat.

 

That's what I'm sayin'....

 

You never answered why the negativity towards men in general

[joystickd]

Well, there are a few 'used up' guys here who don't think they have to settle...

 

The ones who did the 'using up' in the first place, usually. Then think they can dip into the pool of young'ins for fresh meat.

 

That's what I'm sayin'....

 

The reality is they dont have to. Women like men in demand.

[thefooloftheyear]

Maybe they can start a "Halfway House" of sorts for all of these disillusioned young ladies...Offer peer counseling, a shoulder to cry on,, etc...

 

They could even set up an alert system that notifies all homeowners witrhin a 60 mile radius that one of these wretched middle aged guys has moved into the 'hood..

 

The possibilities are endless...

 

TFY

[Babolat]

But, I do take back one thing... Cats deserve good homes. Not sure how many of the guys on here I'd feel comfortable recommending as a pet owner. You have to have empathy for that.

 

I adopted my younger cat 2+ years ago. They said he was 3 when I adopted him. I later spoke to the owner who had to give him up and found out he was really 11. I almost took him back because he was not so, young! Ha, just kidding. I love em to death and he is my buddy. I was disappointed I may not have as many years with him as I thought I would.

 

And guess what? I also volunteer at the Animal Shelter where I got him. Shhhh, don''t tell anyone. It may show I have, empathy.

[RonaldS]

Very few, and not the best ones. But keep believing that if you like. Especially if believing that keeps you complacent.

 

 

There are lots of men who have cats later in life too, lol.

 

Hahaha! Please.

 

There's a useful adage to carry through life: 'intelligent people believe what they see, and ignorant people see what they believe'.

 

I believe that a LOT of younger women like older guys, and I believe that because I have gone out with a LOT of younger women. Whether they were or weren't the 'best one's' is subjective, but I can say many of them were a lot better than a lot of the women who were dating or married in their age bracket.

 

Very few? Come on.

[joystickd]

Maybe they can start a "Halfway House" of sorts for all of these disillusioned young ladies...Offer peer counseling, a shoulder to cry on,, etc...

 

They could even set up an alert system that notifies all homeowners witrhin a 60 mile radius that one of these wretched middle aged guys has moved into the 'hood..

 

The possibilities are endless...

 

TFY

You know what they say a shoulder to cry on becomes a dyck to ride on

[Keenly]

The issue at hand certainly isn't about " warning " other women. Its about demonizing and bashing an entire gender because the world doesn't work the way they want it to work.

 

 

Rather than having the stance of " its not my thing, but to each there own " it is instead " how DARE you do something I don't agree with ! You are a bad person! You are a sexual predator! You have mental problems ! My way is the only way ! "

 

 

Add in back handed insults and looking down on an entire gender, and you ha e a bunch of guys are tired of the hate spewed at a guy who even dares to respond to the affections of a younger woman .

 

 

How dare he like that smile that she flashed him!

 

How dare he take her to that place she mentioned she always wanted to go to!

 

How DARE he manipulate her Into a consenting relationship between two drown adults that's absolutely none of my business!

[hasaquestion]

My question is, how can anyone be a victim when they are getting what they want?

 

And how can anyone even presume to suggest that manipulating the opposite sex is a male thing:laugh:

[Keenly]

Well, there's older guys and then there's much older guys. The survey from OK Cupid showed young women preferred men who were within 6 years older than them, and that remained pretty constant as they got older as their age limit, although as they got older, they also considered younger men (within six or so years their junior). The survey also showed that these women were not interested in men who were more than ten years older than themselves, and that did not change as they got older. So older man can try to delude themselves all they want, but the facts remain that the vast majority of women prefer men who are close to their own age.

 

 

Notwithstanding all the miscellaneous trolls, sock pockets, and sundry guys who claim otherwise.

 

So 0% voted this way? Lets see those facts.

 

I was not aware that OK Cupid consisted of 100% of the female population.

 

 

If even one said yes to older men, your entire premise is voided.

[GorillaTheater]

Well, there's older guys and then there's much older guys. The survey from OK Cupid showed young women preferred men who were within 6 years older than them, and that remained pretty constant as they got older as their age limit, although as they got older, they also considered younger men (within six or so years their junior). The survey also showed that these women were not interested in men who were more than ten years older than themselves, and that did not change as they got older. So older man can try to delude themselves all they want, but the facts remain that the vast majority of women prefer men who are close to their own age.

 

 

Notwithstanding all the miscellaneous trolls, sock pockets, and sundry guys who claim otherwise.

 

I agree with their stated preference.

 

The difference being, that I'm not throwing rocks at those who don't share that preference, or assuming that my preferences mean anything in the larger world.

[123321]

Well, there's older guys and then there's much older guys. The survey from OK Cupid .....

 

Whereas the data from ACTUAL marriage license statistics says women prefer to marry older men and that gap widens as age increases. But I guess a dating website is definitive.

[Anela]

The issue at hand certainly isn't about " warning " other women. Its about demonizing and bashing an entire gender because the world doesn't work the way they want it to work.

 

 

Rather than having the stance of " its not my thing, but to each there own " it is instead " how DARE you do something I don't agree with ! You are a bad person! You are a sexual predator! You have mental problems ! My way is the only way ! "

 

 

Add in back handed insults and looking down on an entire gender, and you ha e a bunch of guys are tired of the hate spewed at a guy who even dares to respond to the affections of a younger woman .

 

 

How dare he like that smile that she flashed him!

 

How dare he take her to that place she mentioned she always wanted to go to!

 

How DARE he manipulate her Into a consenting relationship between two drown adults that's absolutely none of my business!

 

Do you think women would have anything to complain about, if it weren't for so many men here, going on and on about younger women, and spewing insults at the rest of us?

 

For over four years, I've seen all sorts of insults directed at women of all ages - older women are called the usual, the sort of thing that has been spewed in this thread, and any woman who enjoyed the attention of men was either called a slut, so she wasn't marriage-worthy, or shamed for wanting to date men that she's attracted to, instead of giving the nice guys a chance. I've heard all about how women are supposed to be, and that after a certain age, we're just supposed to disappear and not expect to be wanted, or we're supposed to work really hard and do whatever we have to, to not look like we're actually aging - god forbid we actually look our ages, any of us. It's all BS.

[hasaquestion]

I wasn't desperate, and I shut down my profile. I don't remember you considering me to be desperate, when we spoke in the past (you had another name here). So, I'm just a bottom-dwelling loser? Thanks.

 

Earlier on, Robert Z mentioned working out and working hard in order to attract younger women. He pays to have one young woman stick around, and she's the one who attracts other women's attention- and he's proud of it. I'm not paying anyone to date me.

 

Well here's the thing. No matter who you are, don't you have to work hard to attract the opposite sex?

 

Guys who don't work hard to attract women are single. Women won't be with you if you're chubby, out of shape, have rough skin and bad hair, etc.

 

Isn't that just life in general? Either work hard on superficial things or don't seek out superficial people?

[Anela]

Crap, I can't believe I'm back here. I was just outside enjoying the sunshine! And this is off-topic. Sorry ES.

[hasaquestion]

Well, the OK Cupid statistics show, and the marriage statistics show, that the larger world has the same preferences of men close to their own age. This is not just my opinion.

 

Having not read the whole thread... what does it "prove" that people prefer those their own age? Seems like common sense.

[Keenly]

I posted the survey earlier in the thread. You are free to read it. It wasn't a matter of voting. It showed that women put their age limit on their profiles as approximately 6 years older than themselves, which as the women got older, they also included men that were younger, but still close in age, as well as within 6 years older. That is what they listed as their limits. The actual age of men whom they contacted on OK Cupid showed the vast majority of their contacts were to men within 6 years older to six years younger. Sometimes they went up to 10 years older than them, but the graphs show there was little to no contacts to men older than 10 years older than them.

 

 

Those were the statistics. It doesn't void anything I've said. I've said the vast majority prefer men close to their own age. And if you also consider who they end up marrying, that is also 93% marry to men close to their own age. Of course, there will be the 7% who marry outside of that range, but the vast majority stick with guys close to their own age.

 

But 100% of women did not put their preferences this way, just most of them.

 

Also, what older men use okcupid?

 

 

I'm gonna go do a study of what kind of wedding dresses men look at on pinterest, and then use those results to declare " this is what all men prefer. "

 

 

Oh... wait... guys don't use pinterest, or look up wedding dresses. Just like older men don't use okcupid.

[joystickd]

Do you think women would have anything to complain about, if it weren't for so many men here, going on and on about younger women, and spewing insults at the rest of us?

 

For over four years, I've seen all sorts of insults directed at women of all ages - older women are called the usual, the sort of thing that has been spewed in this thread, and any woman who enjoyed the attention of men was either called a slut, so she wasn't marriage-worthy, or shamed for wanting to date men that she's attracted to, instead of giving the nice guys a chance. I've heard all about how women are supposed to be, and that after a certain age, we're just supposed to disappear and not expect to be wanted, or we're supposed to work really hard and do whatever we have to, to not look like we're actually aging - god forbid we actually look our ages, any of us. It's all BS.

 

Do you check your own gender? Quite a few of you dont. Its balance im a man and im not afraid to admit when my gender is wrong but you women on here its heresy if you do

[GorillaTheater]

Well, the OK Cupid statistics show, and the marriage statistics show, that the larger world has the same preferences of men close to their own age. This is not just my opinion.

 

So what? Are the people with different preferences wrong?

 

Let's put a different spin on it: most people marry within their race. Are those who don't "wrong"?

[carhill]

I have never dated a man more than a year older than me. Let's say I go for someone that's 10 years older (i.e. in his 40s). Is there a difference in how they act compared to men in their late 20s/early 30s? Are they less likely to commit? I also worry that I may be too immature for them

 

As an older man, I somehow missed this thread and didn't scan it but will add a brief comment....

 

If you seek to date men in their 40's, you'll likely encounter far more with substantial marital and relationship experience and, generally, more experience engenders clearer perceptions of one's relationship and attraction style and adds lessons learned from relationship experiences and failures. It also can add emotional 'baggage' (gut-level reactions to certain triggers) to same.

 

As far as commitment, that's individual and not IMO relevant to age; however, if your demographic has a surplus of females, then it may be more likely that men are serial or concurrent and less likely to commit to one female. If opposite, perhaps more likely to commit, as there is more competition for females with other males.

 

From my perusal of your postings and past questions, I doubt you'd be too immature for a man in his 40's. If anything, you'd tend to be a mirror and, IMO, perhaps that's something to work on, meaning establishing a clearer and more definitive image of self so questions like this become superfluous. You'd know that a man in his 40's of a certain ilk would be perfect for you and would aggressively pursue that. Or the opposite. You'd have clarity about yourself. Who you are. What you want. Etc, etc.

 

Good luck!