Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[Keenly]

I'm not having anything both ways. Seems there are plenty of men here who go after younger women for reasons that go beyond looks. Those reasons were stated ad nauseum up thread.

 

 

The only irony I see are the men who get their panties in a twist when they are judged for the same things they judge women for... looks, age, sexual history, etc.

 

 

If you are personally insecure about your finances or sexual history, that's not my problem. I haven't been irresponsible in either respect, and so don't feel the need to settle for men who have.

 

Uhmm... I don't see any men here getting upset about being judged, at least not in this thread or regarding what we are talking about.

 

 

All I see is 50+ pages of you judging older men, condemnkng older men, throwing backhanded insults at older men, and being condescending to younger women that like older men.

 

I've said it a billion times, why does EVERYONE have to live life the way you do? You are unable to accept or acknowledge dissenting views. Everyone in the world is wrong.and you are right in your mind. Its ridiculous.

 

How can anyone even discuss a topic with some one who is so closed minded that they tell women who have different views than you that they are mentally Ill or sexually dysfunctional human beings.

 

 

That's the ultimate " I lose " in a discussion.

 

We get it. You are a better person than me, and everyone else on the face of the planet. Just stop demanding that we MUST view life through your prism. Its intellectually dishonest.

[RedRobin]

Uhmm... I don't see any men here getting upset about being judged, at least not in this thread or regarding what we are talking about.

 

 

All I see is 50+ pages of you judging older men, condemnkng older men, throwing backhanded insults at older men, and being condescending to younger women that like older men.

 

I've said it a billion times, why does EVERYONE have to live life the way you do? You are unable to accept or acknowledge dissenting views. Everyone in the world is wrong.and you are right in your mind. Its ridiculous.

 

How can anyone even discuss a topic with some one who is so closed minded that they tell women who have different views than you that they are mentally Ill or sexually dysfunctional human beings.

 

 

That's the ultimate " I lose " in a discussion.

 

We get it. You are a better person than me, and everyone else on the face of the planet. Just stop demanding that we MUST view life through your prism. Its intellectually dishonest.

 

 

Not sure why I need to accept or acknowledge any dissenting view on this topic.

 

 

You have your opinions, I have mine. If everyone thought the same way, there would be no reason for discussion. Not to mention being a pretty boring world.

[joystickd]

Not sure why I need to accept or acknowledge any dissenting view on this topic.

 

 

You have your opinions, I have mine. If everyone thought the same way, there would be no reason for discussion. Not to mention being a pretty boring world.

 

So quit trying to get everyone on your beliefs then

[RedRobin]

Edited:

 

I only deal in probabilities and likely outcomes. That is what bothers people the most here. It's what bothered people the most about what KathyM was saying too. They wanted both of us to admit there were outliers where age gap relationships work. Well duh. What are the odds of winning the Powerball lottery? Pretty damned low. It's why I don't play those either.

 

 

They want to claim all outcomes are equally plausible when it comes to age gap dating/relationships... but they aren't.

[Keenly]

Not sure why I need to accept or acknowledge any dissenting view on this topic.

 

 

You have your opinions, I have mine. If everyone thought the same way, there would be no reason for discussion. Not to mention being a pretty boring world.

 

THANK YOU.

 

That's all I wanted was for you to admit that its just your opinion, no more valid than mine or anyone else's.

 

 

I know were not there yet, but maybe one day I can get you to say " hey, I wouldn't do it, but whatever floats your goat. "

[RedRobin]

I know were not there yet, but maybe one day I can get you to say " hey, I wouldn't do it, but whatever floats your goat. "

 

 

Don't see that happening. My opinion happens to include the idea that large age gap relationships are harmful to women most of the time.

 

 

I don't plan on backing down from that. If I did, I'd be just like everyone else who doesn't give a shyte about women's lives or what they are signing up for in their pursuit of looking all cool, trendy, and accepting-like. Even when they wouldn't recommend it for their own family members.

[joystickd]

Edited:

 

I only deal in probabilities and likely outcomes. That is what bothers people the most here. It's what bothered people the most about what KathyM was saying too. They wanted both of us to admit there were outliers where age gap relationships work. Well duh. What are the odds of winning the Powerball lottery? Pretty damned low. It's why I don't play those either.

 

 

They want to claim all outcomes are equally plausible when it comes to age gap dating/relationships... but they aren't.

Not true honey

[Keenly]

Don't see that happening. My opinion happens to include the idea that large age gap relationships are harmful to women most of the time.

 

 

I don't plan on backing down from that. If I did, I'd be just like everyone else who doesn't give a shyte about women's lives or what they are signing up for in their pursuit of looking all cool, trendy, and accepting-like. Even when they wouldn't recommend it for their own family members.

 

Or you would believe that people are free to forge their own paths.

[123321]

... and most 47 year old men nailing a 27 year old woman aren't going to get a commitment out of her either. According to the marriage stats.

 

Which is very likely to be fine w/ the men. Not so much for the women. Thanks for following along.

[123321]

Women know with younger men they can't give them kids. If it's a man that doesn't want kids then she will commit.

 

Getting a woman who is willing to commit is the easy part.

[joystickd]

Edited:

 

I only deal in probabilities and likely outcomes. That is what bothers people the most here.

No what bother people is the shytting on men you do on here. If you really even dealt with probabilities and likely outcomes you wouldn't be working so hard to find an excuse not to date someone or even give off the vibe on here that you expect 100 percent of men you come across to some screw you over. That is the thing. If you even remotely dealt with what you say you deal with then you would know that good men are out here and you wouldn't be so damn crazy. Honestly it's crazy to talk shyte about men then say you seen them be better or whatever the hell it is.

 

I take it you failed to follow your parents example of a relationship because you seem to be struggling now since the fiance. Isn't that right?

[Anela]

No what bother people is the shytting on men you do on here. If you really even dealt with probabilities and likely outcomes you wouldn't be working so hard to find an excuse not to date someone or even give off the vibe on here that you expect 100 percent of men you come across to some screw you over. That is the thing. If you even remotely dealt with what you say you deal with then you would know that good men are out here and you wouldn't be so damn crazy. Honestly it's crazy to talk shyte about men then say you seen them be better or whatever the hell it is.

 

I take it you failed to follow your parents example of a relationship because you seem to be struggling now since the fiance. Isn't that right?

 

Her fiance died (right?). That wasn't her fault.

[joystickd]

Her fiance died (right?). That wasn't her fault.

And your point is? I used since as a time reference.

[Anela]

And your point is? I used since as a time reference.

 

It isn't always that easy to meet someone that you're compatible with.

[joystickd]

It isn't always that easy to meet someone that you're compatible with.

Everyone of us on here understands that but their a big difference with what she does and the fact all she can do is talk shyte about men on here. You can never meet someone you are compatible with if you think 100% of men are trying to screw you over. Bitterness right? Its what you say some of these guys on here are it applies to her too. I stick by 100% what I said and would tell it to her face. You think I'm mean and so here comes the solidarity

[joystickd]

It isn't always that easy to meet someone that you're compatible with.

I will say you can't always point the finger at the opposite sex. A person has to look at their own contributions as to why they cant find someone they are compatible with. If you keep having the same result then the problem is YOU!!!!

[Anela]

Its almost insulting to women that you feel that women already wouldn't know the 'cons' of dating someone older. You make it seem like these women can't really think for themselves and are just so caught up or even manipulated by these older men. So much for women's empowerment.

 

It's just as bad when one woman isn't allowed her own viewpoints, and people keep expecting her to change them. Boys will be boys, and RedRobin should just shut up?

[Anela]

Actually you are. You are letting your past bad experiences get you to the point where you have to "warn" women about older men. What if a younger woman actually wants an older man? That is their right to do that. It's unfair to let your bad experiences get you to a point emotionally where you feel the need to pass your poison on to other women. Hell I have had bad experiences with certain groups of women, but I don't go "warning" men to not date them because my experience is not the universal experience. It's not going to happen to every man. Just like you getting the unwanted attention is not going to happen to every woman. There is not this mass hysteria from older men to find a younger woman. If they want someone younger that is their choice. Hell you don't see men going around here warning about your fringe attitude or bitterness. We all treat people according to how they treat us. It says a lot about you and a few other women that you let the actions of a few men get you this riled up and emotional.

 

I'm not emotional this evening. It's when men exclusively look to date younger women, that's weird. Like a guy who wouldn't commit to a 40-year-old woman, but got over his commitment phobia when it came to a 25-year-old yoga instructor.

 

I will say you can't always point the finger at the opposite sex. A person has to look at their own contributions as to why they cant find someone they are compatible with. If you keep having the same result then the problem is YOU!!!!

 

Hey, I know what my problems are. It still doesn't change things that I've stated in this thread, and others. Again, last night, I was wondering why I've been approached by the complete opposite sort of man that I like, over and over: older, and younger, substance abusers, no job (or wanted to get rid of their job and just bum around), cheaters and/or polyamorists, who have no backbone, when it comes to owning up to their trying to cheat with me, and either blaming me, or calling me delusional (poor sap must be desperate to make up such a story: why would anyone find me attractive? bastards.)

 

My shyness is a concern, but probably the most mild. I'm not clamouring to commit, I don't want to get married in six months, but I also won't be sleeping with anyone on the first date - that's dependent on how comfortable I feel around them. And, no, it isn't on me when most men over a certain age suddenly "prefer someone younger". It is on me to be sane, and nice to be around (and that goes for them, as well).

 

I'm going back to my book. Hopefully I can stay away from this thread now - I'm already feeling defensive.

[joystickd]

I'm not emotional this evening. It's when men exclusively look to date younger women, that's weird. Like a guy who wouldn't commit to a 40-year-old woman, but got over his commitment phobia when it came to a 25-year-old yoga instructor.

 

 

 

Hey, I know what my problems are. It still doesn't change things that I've stated in this thread, and others. Again, last night, I was wondering why I've been approached by the complete opposite sort of man that I like, over and over: older, and younger, substance abusers, no job (or wanted to get rid of their job and just bum around), cheaters and/or polyamorists, who have no backbone, when it comes to owning up to their trying to cheat with me, and either blaming me, or calling me delusional (poor sap must be desperate to make up such a story: why would anyone find me attractive? bastards.)

 

My shyness is a concern, but probably the most mild. I'm not clamouring to commit, I don't want to get married in six months, but I also won't be sleeping with anyone on the first date - that's dependent on how comfortable I feel around them. And, no, it isn't on me when most men over a certain age suddenly "prefer someone younger". It is on me to be sane, and nice to be around (and that goes for them, as well).

 

I'm going back to my book. Hopefully I can stay away from this thread now - I'm already feeling defensive.

Commitment phobia lol. Usually the case is the man saw something in the woman that made him not see her as someone he could commit too. It could be any number of things it's not always about youth.

 

Who you choose to date or attract is a reflection of you at that time. It says a lot as to who you are attracting now.

[Keenly]

It's just as bad when one woman isn't allowed her own viewpoints, and people keep expecting her to change them. Boys will be boys, and RedRobin should just shut up?

 

Have you not been following along?

 

Talk about playing the victim card. Did you forget who is telling who how to live?

[joystickd]

It's just as bad when one woman isn't allowed her own viewpoints, and people keep expecting her to change them. Boys will be boys, and RedRobin should just shut up?

No man here has even said boys will be boys. I suggest you get your eyes checked. I think most of us are defending the crap one person talks about men. We are all for the person making their own choices about who they want to date. Isn't that what you do make your own decisions? You women get so bent out of shape about what a few men do and give them so much power over how you feel. Why do that when more than likely you are not attracted to them or even want them in your life? That says more about your lack of success in finding someone to date/relationship. It's women like you that are easily influenced not the younger women.

[sillyanswer]

They want to claim all outcomes are equally plausible when it comes to age gap dating/relationships... but they aren't.

 

Who is "they"? Did anyone say this?

[RedRobin]

There are lots of women who don't feel the need to settle for men who have made bad choices in their life and overlook things in them that they would not overlook in me or any other woman.

 

 

I know that chaps the *ss of a lot of guys here. They feel entitled to do whatever they want, then think some woman is going to accept them after the fact.

 

 

Including their own aging that they can't accept in women.

 

 

I AM better than those guys. Lots of women are. But I get it that the best a lot of you can do is keep telling us we aren't so that we will settle for that.

 

 

I really am sorry for some of you guys that the world told you that your choices don't matter. I'm sorry that the world told you wrong ideas of what it means to be a good man. I'm sorry that some of you feel the need to keep dating down in age to hide from yourselves.

 

 

But it is not women's jobs to redeem you. Sorry that the world told you it was.

 

 

Maybe some of you men could focus on helping younger men make better choices rather than focus on forcing me and other women like me to accept your bad ones. Especially when you wouldn't do the same for a woman.

[RedRobin]

Who is "they"? Did anyone say this?

 

 

oh, I dunno. Half the people on this thread trying to claim that large age gap relationships are no different than any other relationship?

 

 

I really think it is a misguided attempt to be overly accepting and embracing of 'diversity'.

 

 

Or, some of them really resent the fact that anyone is doing anything to make dating down in age more difficult for them in any way.

 

 

It is interesting that these same people would not accept this choice if it were their own daughter or relative.

[thefooloftheyear]

There are lots of women who don't feel the need to settle for men who have made bad choices in their life and overlook things in them that they would not overlook in me or any other woman.

 

 

I know that chaps the *ss of a lot of guys here. They feel entitled to do whatever they want, then think some woman is going to accept them after the fact.

 

 

Including their own aging that they can't accept in women.

 

 

I AM better than those guys. Lots of women are. But I get it that the best a lot of you can do is keep telling us we aren't so that we will settle for that.

 

 

I really am sorry for some of you guys that the world told you that your choices don't matter. I'm sorry that the world told you wrong ideas of what it means to be a good man. I'm sorry that some of you feel the need to keep dating down in age to hide from yourselves.

 

 

But it is not women's jobs to redeem you. Sorry that the world told you it was.

 

 

Maybe some of you men could focus on helping younger men make better choices rather than focus on forcing me and other women like me to accept your bad ones. Especially when you wouldn't do the same for a woman.

 

If I read the tea leaves......

 

Im getting the feeling like all if this its has nothing to do with whether you think its advantageous or not for a woman to get involved with an older man, but rather you dont want men to feel like they have the upper hand when it comes to this....

 

Why worry about it???....I mean if it is some kind of "advantage"(I dont think so, btw), then so be it.??.We all know that women have numerous other advantages in this game...Maybe its just some weird dynamic that evens the scales a bit.....

 

But what the hell do I know????

 

TFY