Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[Anela]

I do -- and I have. The one I posted about in the dating forums is 40. She has 2 kids -- and is a gigantic PITA! Too much drama and I don't want to deal with that. I live a very relaxed, free lifestyle -- very spontaneous! I like to ENJOY life not have someone berate or yell because some need wasn't met that wasn't made clear to me.

 

I do not understand how people stress out their entire lives over small chickens. Doesn't make sense...

 

Okay, but that isn't the usual thing with women over a certain age. I was curious, because you said that age is just a number. I like to enjoy life, too, and find joy in small things, as well as the big things.

[CaliGuy]

I don't do drama. I find joy in little things - flowers, birds, bees, butterflies. I'm happy just to wake up in the morning. I don't sweat small stuff.

 

 

I may not have all I want, but I have all I need.

 

Same here for sure!

 

Okay, but that isn't the usual thing with women over a certain age. I was curious, because you said that age is just a number. I like to enjoy life, too, and find joy in small things, as well as the big things.

 

Yes I agree. I just do not like drama. It's a plague that chases me away in a heartbeat.

[PinkInTheLimo]

My main bother with HER choice is that I feel she's definitely married down with him.

 

That is so true. She absolutely married down. She is a brilliant lawyer and from a rich family. On top of this she is good-looking.

 

George knew he would have to clean up his act or otherwise this one would be gone. No wonder he married so fast, he did not want to give her too much time to find out he is not the smartest on the block.

 

I am really not sure if this marriage is going to last.

 

She could have done A LOT better.

[PinkInTheLimo]

And her parents, including 'daddy', have interacted with more heads of state and dignitaries than George ever will. We tend to dismiss cultures of the middle east, especially those not aligned with Israel, but there are a lot of very successful and well-connected people, even in countries like Lebanon. 'Daddy' still lives there and is reported, along with mom, to have paid for the wedding, as is traditional in their culture. Not a bad deal for George. Marries a formidable younger bride with a formidable mother in law and father in law. Good show. I'll make bets that she'll be pregnant within a year.

 

Here's a shot of George and FIL after the wedding.

 

She is from a much better family than he is. And yes, Lebanon is full of very rich successful people. It used to be called the Switzerland of the Middle-East. Beirut is said to be a very posh, exclusive city with an amazing night-life. Actually a good destination for a city trip.

 

Such a pity these damn wars in that area spoil it.

[RedRobin]

That is so true. She absolutely married down. She is a brilliant lawyer and from a rich family. On top of this she is good-looking.

 

George knew he would have to clean up his act or otherwise this one would be gone. No wonder he married so fast, he did not want to give her too much time to find out he is not the smartest on the block.

 

I am really not sure if this marriage is going to last.

 

She could have done A LOT better.

 

 

She comes from a cultural tradition that generally doesn't value professional women. She's had to battle a lot of negative stereotypes her whole adult life to get where she is... AND put off a lot digging from her family and social circle to get married to someone, anyone. Giving in on the age difference would be viewed as a reasonable compromise in her culture. ESPECIALLY in her culture, in fact.

 

 

So, when we talk about 'daddy issues', we also need to talk about cultural issues in places where women, in general, aren't valued for other than as baby machines or appearance. If you come from a place where you are surrounded by these messages on a daily basis, it is no surprise they give in.

 

 

Thankfully, I'm not from one of those places and never have felt the need to 'sell' my youth to any man to get anything. It wasn't always easy. Had many older men, married men, etc try to convince me that they knew better than me on that. HAHA. Whatever.

 

 

I personally view men who need to date or marry much younger as weak, insecure, and emotionally lazy. The excuses they make to avoid introspection and personal growth... are astounding. Equally astounding (but not surprising, given the shyte dads and mentors they have) are the younger women who go along with it.

[RedRobin]

That is so true. She absolutely married down. She is a brilliant lawyer and from a rich family. On top of this she is good-looking.

 

George knew he would have to clean up his act or otherwise this one would be gone. No wonder he married so fast, he did not want to give her too much time to find out he is not the smartest on the block.

 

I am really not sure if this marriage is going to last.

 

She could have done A LOT better.

 

 

Yes, she could have done ALOT better, or maybe even never marry.

 

 

If it lasts, I doubt it will be due to love. It will be because it is a useful business arrangement or for the kids sake. Plus, George probably knows that men are given tacit permission to cheat on their wives in her culture as long as they are discrete about it.

 

 

Thing is, she isn't the dumb box of rocks he is, so I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't find a way to have her own studs in a corral somewhere. Once she gets the kid thing out of the way.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes, she could have done ALOT better, or maybe even never marry.

 

 

If it lasts, I doubt it will be due to love. It will be because it is a useful business arrangement or for the kids sake. Plus, George probably knows that men are given tacit permission to cheat on their wives in her culture as long as they are discrete about it.

 

 

Thing is, she isn't the dumb box of rocks he is, so I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't find a way to have her own studs in a corral somewhere. Once she gets the kid thing out of the way.

 

 

I saw a pic of her on the front of the news....one look at those stick like and spindly lookin legs and I was like.......yuk...

 

But hey...thats his deal now..

 

TFY

[xxoo]

I'm amused at the suggestion that a 36 year old international lawyer was somehow pressured into marrying George Clooney

[CaliGuy]

I personally view men who need to date or marry much younger as weak, insecure, and emotionally lazy. The excuses they make to avoid introspection and personal growth... are astounding. Equally astounding (but not surprising, given the shyte dads and mentors they have) are the younger women who go along with it.

 

Ok -- I am going to disagree with you to a degree here. Not every woman who is much younger than a man is immature or confused with what she wants. As I said, age is just a number.

 

Now, as an older man, I will tell you why I date younger women. When you go NORTH of 40, the options for a man are few/far between. Nearly all women close to the same age is either:

 

1. In the process of being divorced (with kids).

2. Recently divorced (with kids).

3. Still recovering from a divorce (with kids).

4. In cases 1-3, there's always a lot of left over baggage.

 

A lot of people assume there's a plethora of single women our age, who take care of themselves, who do not have kids and who don't carry any baggage. I hate to say this, but I have higher odds of hitting the jackpot in Vegas than I do of finding an established, single, never married, no-children, single woman above 40.

 

They are set in their ways. They bring a lot of unnecessary drama. They either have no career path or are looking for a sugar daddy (which for the most part is regardless of their age). And, in the few cases you do find a woman (=or< 40) they're already ready to pop out babies because their timeline is short.

 

If you are both mentally on the same wavelength I don't see age as an issue. Either older men/younger women or older women/younger men. It's the MENTAL compatibility and long term goals that matter.

 

Again -- age is just a number.

 

PS: Don't assume that older men with younger women somehow lack intellect. I happen to have a very high IQ. I happen to prefer younger women. I'm successful, established and emotionally secure. Maybe I am just a rare fish.....

[Candy_Pants]

Whenever, or if ever, I start dating again it'll be older men.

[xxoo]

Whenever, or if ever, I start dating again it'll be older men.

 

Why? (if you care to share, of course )

[Woggle]

I'm amused at the suggestion that a 36 year old international lawyer was somehow pressured into marrying George Clooney

 

I agree. This is certainly not a typical older man getting a trophy wife kind of situation. They look genuinely in love and I am usually cynical about celebrity marriages. Her mother is also a very successful talk show host in her country so it is clear she comes from a family that values successful women. Lol at her being pressured into marrying him. If he wanted a stepford wife this is not the place to look.

 

Also I know from experience that no matter how much most guys are against marriage if you meet a woman that makes it worthwhile that can change. I swore I would never marry again after my divorce but when I met my wife it was like she flicked a switch.

[PinkInTheLimo]

I hate to say this, but I have higher odds of hitting the jackpot in Vegas than I do of finding an established, single, never married, no-children, single woman above 40.

 

They exist. I am one of them. And at almost 50 I find myself too old to still want kids (even though I would have wanted them).

 

I happen to prefer younger women.

 

Well that is not working in your favour. I am not very enthusiastic about men who want younger women but then all of a sudden stumble over my profile and contact me. I fear that such a guy will always wonder if he cannot trade me in for a younger model...

[StanMusial]

That is so true. She absolutely married down. She is a brilliant lawyer and from a rich family. On top of this she is good-looking.

 

George knew he would have to clean up his act or otherwise this one would be gone. No wonder he married so fast, he did not want to give her too much time to find out he is not the smartest on the block.

 

I am really not sure if this marriage is going to last.

 

She could have done A LOT better.

 

I feel sorry for her. Must be a shortage of billionaire oil sheiks and/or shipping magnates.

 

Poor lady had to settle for a millionaire movie star.

[Candy_Pants]

Why? (if you care to share, of course )

I've just never had success with men my own age or younger. The older individuals I've dated were all incredibly sweet, gentlemanly, great in bed, and, well...mature .

[xxoo]

I've just never had success with men my own age or younger. The older individuals I've dated were all incredibly sweet, gentlemanly, great in bed, and, well...mature .

 

Ah, I see.

 

Maybe it'll seem different in a few years, when the men your age grow up

[Candy_Pants]

Ah, I see.

 

Maybe it'll seem different in a few years, when the men your age grow up

I've been waiting for that for aaaages .

[CaliGuy]

They exist. I am one of them. And at almost 50 I find myself too old to still want kids (even though I would have wanted them).

 

Well that is not working in your favour. I am not very enthusiastic about men who want younger women but then all of a sudden stumble over my profile and contact me. I fear that such a guy will always wonder if he cannot trade me in for a younger model...

 

If you're confident then you have nothing to worry about! For me, I just don't have a lot of choices for women near my age. I don't want the baggage because I don't don't bring it -- and having kids is no issue for me. I can have them or not. I'm more concerned with meeting the right person. Everything else will fall into place -- regardless of their age

[MidwestUSA]

Originally Posted by CaliGuy

I hate to say this, but I have higher odds of hitting the jackpot in Vegas than I do of finding an established, single, never married, no-children, single woman above 40.

Yet would you believe some men are intimidated by this type of woman? Some didn't want me because I had my **** together better than they did.

 

 

(Oh, I don't fit the never married criteria, but everything else).

[CaliGuy]

Yet would you believe some men are intimidated by this type of woman? Some didn't want me because I had my **** together better than they did.

 

(Oh, I don't fit the never married criteria, but everything else).

 

Oh if only I could find a woman with her crap together, I would welcome that. I like intellectual conversations. I like having fun and enjoying each others time. I like to enjoy LIFE, not bicker/argue or deal with drama. There's a lot of drama in SOCAL, trust me.

 

Usually, it's about the 'god' some of these people serve (money). To me, money is just a tool.....

[RedRobin]

I'm amused at the suggestion that a 36 year old international lawyer was somehow pressured into marrying George Clooney

 

I guess you don't know that many high achieving women then. I do.

[RedRobin]

I agree. This is certainly not a typical older man getting a trophy wife kind of situation. They look genuinely in love and I am usually cynical about celebrity marriages. Her mother is also a very successful talk show host in her country so it is clear she comes from a family that values successful women. Lol at her being pressured into marrying him. If he wanted a stepford wife this is not the place to look.

 

Also I know from experience that no matter how much most guys are against marriage if you meet a woman that makes it worthwhile that can change. I swore I would never marry again after my divorce but when I met my wife it was like she flicked a switch.

 

Being a successful female talk show host in a very patriarchal society only requires looking good and doing what you are told. She is no Oprah Winfrey.

 

...and regarding guys who are against marriage. Big deal. The only reason guys like George are put on a stupid pedestal as being an 'eligible bachelor' is because there aren't enough women who would rather be childless than shack up with a guy old enough to be her dad... And again, they often come from a culture where women aren't valued unless they are married with kids. Professional or not.

 

It is true here. I look at George and I think he has issues... Not that he is some amazing catch that no one has managed to pin down. I look at his new bride as having issues too. No woman I know or have met marries a guy that much older unless there are some deep rooted problems from her childhood or they come from a culture that supports that patriarchal model where the guy needs to be viewed as significantly superior (age, money, career, something)

 

But fine... They can be effed up together. One only hopes they don't have too many kids to pass on their effed up ness to.

[thefooloftheyear]

Originally Posted by CaliGuy

I hate to say this, but I have higher odds of hitting the jackpot in Vegas than I do of finding an established, single, never married, no-children, single woman above 40.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yet would you believe some men are intimidated by this type of woman? Some didn't want me because I had my **** together better than they did.

 

 

(Oh, I don't fit the never married criteria, but everything else).

 

 

 

 

Cmon...you??

 

TFY

[Woggle]

George Clooney has never had a reputation for substance abuse, domestic violence or getting in trouble at all. He seems much more well adjusted than many of his peers.

 

Here is her mother who has done hard news and has sat down with world leaders. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fenglish.alarabiya.net%2Fen%2Flife-style%2Fentertainment%2F2014%2F04%2F29%2FMeet-George-Clooney-s-future-mother-in-law.html&ei=Z7EpVPbzIYiSyASnjYGgCQ&usg=AFQjCNFUPZDLjEPoO2xVZdGScv-Spkrl-g

 

Hardly seems like the kind of woman who wants her daughter to be a stepford wife to an American actor.

[Tayken]

Yet would you believe some men are intimidated by this type of woman? Some didn't want me because I had my **** together better than they did.

 

 

(Oh, I don't fit the never married criteria, but everything else).

 

There you go, there is always something that messes up the equation. As the saying goes, "you can't have it all".

 

Men that are intimidated by strong women, and by strong I mean independent, glass ceiling shattering, intellectual types, are usually the ones who's idea of achievement is owning the biggest truck there is, or killing the biggest game, and can't communicate.