Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[xxoo]

True...

 

But then I guess you can say the same things about women who intentionally only seek 6'+ tall men and don't consider others....Or guys that intentionally only seek women with DD tits....

 

But here is the thing...

 

I guess you can say that for some though, age is just another preference like the others..They stack the preferences they seek to better their chances on being happy..

 

I mean think about it...If a fit guy only seeks fit women, then some other woman who isnt fit could be "the" right one for him in the end..

 

People want what they want...Show me a guy who prefers younger women and Ill show you a woman that prefers older men...Show me a petite woman that likes tall guys and ill show you a tall guy that like petite women..

 

If they connect, then who the hell is anyone to say?

 

TFY

 

Yes, I'd say it is EXACTLY the same for those criteria.

 

Putting surface before substance and connection does not predict success in relationships.

[joseb]

If you think that this bragging about your sporty achievements and how long you can club makes any impression on me, forget it. And I don't care whether you are 45 or 55 or 65. I really get turned off by men who brag like that.

 

As i mentioned already, i only mentioned this as the OP suggested older guys who claim to feel younger are likely sitting on the couch drinking beer and unable to run.

 

I dont brag about it, most of my non training friends dont even know i do this, and its never something i would try to impress girks with. As if it would anyway.

[RedRobin]

Wasn't this the Emory study? I thought it was focused on the price of the ring and the wedding, and measured other factors as well. This study: ?A Diamond is Forever? and Other Fairy Tales: The Relationship between Wedding Expenses and Marriage Duration by Andrew M. Francis, Hugo M. Mialon :: SSRN

 

A study that focused on age gap relationships and the factors that contribute to their success or failure would be interesting. But I think it falls within the general predictors of marriage success: kindness and compatibility. It is probably rare for an age gap couple to be truly compatible. A lot of people think they are compatible with much older and younger partners, but in reality aren't. And the failure rates reflect that reality.

Emory has done multiple studies in this area. The one I am referring to focused on age gaps.

[xxoo]

Emory has done multiple studies in this area. The one I am referring to focused on age gaps.

 

I'd be interested in reading it if you have the title or a link (or just the date and authors).

[Woggle]

Marriage in general is a very unstable and vulnerable institution in modern times so I guess nobody should marry.

[PinkInTheLimo]

Why want to act like 30 at 50 ???????? So in this day and age your saying you have to stop doing what you enjoy just cause you reach a certain age. WOW

 

I don't get this obsession with long life anyway. What to they think, their gonna live forever.

 

I'd rather have 60 yrs of fun than 90 yrs of worrying about how I can squeeze out a few more yrs at the end.

 

Noone says that you have to stop doing things you enjoy. But the question is: do you do these things because you enjoy them or do you do them because they give you the false impression that you don't become older?

 

When I was 30 I smoked at least a package of cigarettes a day and went several times a week to the pub to have a couple of beers. At a certain point the cigarettes did not taste nice any longer and they made my eyes tear. I also noticed that I did not feel fresh the morning after having had beers in the evening.

So I stopped smoking and drinking regularly. Did I enjoy these cigarettes and the beers? Absolutely! But at a certain time it was time to move on to another life style.

People evolve. That's part of life. There's something pathetic about clinging to the things you did when you were younger. Not that I want to say that there is something wrong with running marathons. If you like that, go ahead.

 

But don't fool yourself. You might be very fit but you are getting older. Just like the rest of us. And the younger women see that you are an older guy. Maybe a fit older guy and a goodlooking older guy. But older. I mean, Arnie Schwarzenegger is probably fitter than most guys his age. But as a woman younger than him I see that he is older.

[BlueIris]

Marriage in general is a very unstable and vulnerable institution in modern times so I guess nobody should marry.

 

Maybe just reckless idealists should or will. Or people of deep faith and iron will.

[thefooloftheyear]

So now its horrible for guys to take care of themselves and try to look and feel as best as they can despite their age...??...Shame on them,!!

 

To think all that sacrifice was all for naught...I should have been eating pizzas drinking beer and farting on the sofa...

 

TFY

[RedRobin]

Who's pitching this?....Is there a PSA that I missed?

 

C'mon man...

 

TFY

 

Who is pitching this?

 

A lot of guys on this thread... Every older man who has ever hit on me...

 

...and when I can't go to a movie without routinely seeing some middle aged guy paired up romantically with a woman at least 10 to 15 years younger, but often as much as 20 years or more, and passing it off as 'normal'...

 

When women are told over and over that they are supposed to tolerate the very inappropriate attention of men old enough to be their dad or grandfather.... On a regular basis, because 'that's just how men are'...

 

Yea, that looks and sounds a lot like a PSA to me...

 

It is to the point where I refuse to go to a movie that has a romantic age gap more than 5 or so years. I really have no interest in seeing johnny dep or Tom cruise swap spit with a 20 or even 30 something.

 

...and I am a big fan of people taking care of themselves at all ages... But that doesn't entitle them to someone younger. It's the entitlement that bugs me. You don't see me waving MY fitness level around and telling people that should entitle me to be with someone young enough to be my kid. But hey, if you are a guy who takes care of himself... Friggin stop the presses!! Every young woman between 18 and whatever that stupid number is (half your age plus seven, or whatever) should be beating a path to their door because they are so darned special... Jeez. It's just obnoxious.

Edited October 17, 2015 by RedRobin

[PinkInTheLimo]

So now its horrible for guys to take care of themselves and try to look and feel as best as they can despite their age...??...Shame on them,!!

 

To think all that sacrifice was all for naught...I should have been eating pizzas drinking beer and farting on the sofa...

 

TFY

 

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and trying to look and feel the best you can. But you are deluded if you think that doing that makes you younger. It doesn't.

And you should do it for yourself, to feel good and healthy. Not to find younger women. For most younger women you are still an old guy, that's the truth.

 

I also try to take good care of myself, within the constraints of a busy job. I'm sure it makes me look good... for a 50 year old woman. I don't have the illusion that I am 35 and I certainly do not have the illusion that looking attractive and being fit for my age will make 35 year old guys line up for me .

[readynow]

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and trying to look and feel the best you can. But you are deluded if you think that doing that makes you younger. It doesn't.

And you should do it for yourself, to feel good and healthy. Not to find younger women. For most younger women you are still an old guy, that's the truth.

 

I'm not a man (obviously) but I don't think the men who look after themselves somehow forget that the are older One might feel young and that may enable them find things in common with adults of other ages. There's an annoying old guy at our club. They actually let him play tennis with the 30 - 40yr olds because he doesn't fit in (active-wise) with the 70yr old group. Btw, he's annoying not because he's old but because at the end of every game, he insists on giving relationship advise to every one he sits with.

 

 

Who is pitching this?

...and when I can't go to a movie without routinely seeing some middle aged guy paired up romantically with a woman at least 10 to 15 years younger, but often as much as 20 years or more, and passing it off as 'normal'...

 

RedRobin, myself and my bf routinely parade ourselves around the streets of London, in cinemas, restaurants and round the world on holiday. We're as normal and as different as anyone else. We may split up in the future but it'll be mostly because of my own deep character flaws especially my selfishness. I can be an absolute nightmare, I know It'll have nothing to do with our age.

 

So here I ask, from reading your posts, why is *my* relationship a personal problem to you? (If) no younger woman is stealing your boyfriend and you have plenty of admirers, why does another sane adult's life choices bother you so much? I honestly am curious.

[thefooloftheyear]

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and trying to look and feel the best you can. But you are deluded if you think that doing that makes you younger. It doesn't.

And you should do it for yourself, to feel good and healthy. Not to find younger women. For most younger women you are still an old guy, that's the truth.

 

I also try to take good care of myself, within the constraints of a busy job. I'm sure it makes me look good... for a 50 year old woman. I don't have the illusion that I am 35 and I certainly do not have the illusion that looking attractive and being fit for my age will make 35 year old guys line up for me .

 

I don't know what to tell you..."shrug"..

 

You are just flat out wrong...

 

People aren't Lego's...Everyone is different...Even though we are about the same age and I don't know you from a hole in the wall, Im sure you are a nice woman, but Id wager that if you spent a typical day doing what I do(10 plus hrs heavy physical work + training, etc), you would have to take the rest of the week off to recover..but this isn't a competition..

 

I recently had a routine cardiac workup and stress test...You know what the doctor said to me when I asked about the results.?."keep doing whatever you are doing, your numbers and levels are better than most guys half your age"..

 

Im not Superman, and who knows, it can all end tomorrow...but for now, I am feeling pretty damned good, I look great, and I am very proud of the fact that all the hard work and discipline has paid dividends...I can do activities with my 12 year old that her friends fathers(who are mostly younger than me) couldn't dream of..Its great...

 

This stuff(chasing younger women) wouldn't apply to me anyway...I am all set in my personal life..That's for all you guys to worry about...Even when it wasn't, I am not the type to approach women anyway...Never have in my entire life...That's correct...I don't and never have flirt, game, ask for numbers or anything...Never needed to, really...

 

So speak for yourself...You don't know me and dont have a clue, really;)

 

Oh, and while you are at it, maybe you can tell this 50 year old MMA fighter(the black guy in case you are wondering) that he isn't better than guys half his age, because he has been kicking their asses in every bout..

 

 

TFY

Edited October 18, 2015 by thefooloftheyear

[joseb]

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and trying to look and feel the best you can. But you are deluded if you think that doing that makes you younger. It doesn't.

And you should do it for yourself, to feel good and healthy. Not to find younger women. For most younger women you are still an old guy, that's the truth.

 

I think there is a bit of a musunderstanding here. I dont think anyone thinks they are younger. I certainly dont.

And as far as keeping fit and eating well, thats exactly why i do it. To feel good and healthy. Which has the knock on effect of not feeling the ravages of time so much, without forgetting your chronoligical age.

 

And for the record i dont deliberately set out to "find younger women" its just in real life most of the available attractive women are typicially a good deal younger. Not all of course. The woman im seeing currently is 40, which is even within rrs "limits"!

 

I certainly do not have the illusion that looking attractive and being fit for my age will make 35 year old guys line up for me .

 

You might be surprised.

Edited October 18, 2015 by joseb

[xxoo]

Oh, and while you are at it, maybe you can tell this 50 year old MMA fighter(the black guy in case you are wondering) that he isn't better than guys half his age, because he has been kicking their asses in every bout..

 

 

TFY

 

How old do you think the ladies lining up behind him are? They could just as easily be his age

[hotpotato]

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and trying to look and feel the best you can. But you are deluded if you think that doing that makes you younger. It doesn't.

And you should do it for yourself, to feel good and healthy. Not to find younger women. For most younger women you are still an old guy, that's the truth.

 

I also try to take good care of myself, within the constraints of a busy job. I'm sure it makes me look good... for a 50 year old woman. I don't have the illusion that I am 35 and I certainly do not have the illusion that looking attractive and being fit for my age will make 35 year old guys line up for me .

 

Right...Im 28, in good shape, and dont expect 20 year olds to line up for me. I think its hard for some men to see themselves as fetting older.

[thefooloftheyear]

Right...Im 28, in good shape, and dont expect 20 year olds to line up for me. I think its hard for some men to see themselves as fetting older.

 

No one is expecting anyone to line up for anything....its not the point...

 

The point here is that for some odd reason(I know the reason;)), women cannot stand the older guy younger woman scenario...It could be a totally normal start to a relationship and last forever...In come the bricks and bottles..

 

Women say..

 

"she's a gold digger"

"she has daddy issues"

"she's stupid and naive"

"she was probably molested as a child"

 

"he is just an old creep that gamed a stupid young woman"

"he's a sexual predator"

"He cant keep up with her"

"he'll be a limp dick and she'll dump him"

 

etc..

 

Woman finds herself with a younger guy?

 

Guys say.............."cricket chirp".......nothing!

 

 

Why is this? Can anyone answer? Why is a woman who is older and frisky and gaming for young guys affectionately referred as cougars, while guys are predators and creeps?

 

makes no sense..."shrug"

 

 

TFY

[hotpotato]

To be fair, im sure there are guys out there who would wonder why a younger man would want an older woman. Im sure if women said hey lets date younger guys bc they

 

Are more physically attractive

Have less emotional baggage

Better in bed

More alive and fun

 

Plenty of older guys would take offense.

 

Some older guys have probs kerping it up, thats why cialus is here. Young guys have the opposite problem with too much erection. One 21 year old damned near killed me.

[kilgore]

To be fair, im sure there are guys out there who would wonder why a younger man would want an older woman. Im sure if women said hey lets date younger guys bc they

 

Are more physically attractive

Have less emotional baggage

Better in bed

More alive and fun

 

Plenty of older guys would take offense.

 

Some older guys have probs kerping it up, thats why cialus is here. Young guys have the opposite problem with too much erection. One 21 year old damned near killed me.

That last sentence made me lol

[Woggle]

To be fair, im sure there are guys out there who would wonder why a younger man would want an older woman. Im sure if women said hey lets date younger guys bc they

 

Are more physically attractive

Have less emotional baggage

Better in bed

More alive and fun

 

Plenty of older guys would take offense.

 

Some older guys have probs kerping it up, thats why cialus is here. Young guys have the opposite problem with too much erection. One 21 year old damned near killed me.

 

I am pushing 40 and if women my age want to date 21 year olds more power to them. I don't care.

[joseb]

To be fair, im sure there are guys out there who would wonder why a younger man would want an older woman. Im sure if women said hey lets date younger guys bc they

 

Are more physically attractive

Have less emotional baggage

Better in bed

More alive and fun

 

Plenty of older guys would take offense.

 

Some older guys have probs kerping it up, thats why cialus is here. Young guys have the opposite problem with too much erection. One 21 year old damned near killed me.

 

I'm over 40 and can totally see why older women might want that. A lot of younger guys don't mind the dynamic either. I have no issues with it. Go for it!

Though I would contend one point. I could definitely teach my 21 year old self a lot about performance in bed

Edited October 18, 2015 by joseb

[PinkInTheLimo]

I don't know what to tell you..."shrug"..

 

You are just flat out wrong...

 

People aren't Lego's...Everyone is different...Even though we are about the same age and I don't know you from a hole in the wall, Im sure you are a nice woman, but Id wager that if you spent a typical day doing what I do(10 plus hrs heavy physical work + training, etc), you would have to take the rest of the week off to recover..but this isn't a competition..

 

I recently had a routine cardiac workup and stress test...You know what the doctor said to me when I asked about the results.?."keep doing whatever you are doing, your numbers and levels are better than most guys half your age"..

 

Im not Superman, and who knows, it can all end tomorrow...but for now, I am feeling pretty damned good, I look great, and I am very proud of the fact that all the hard work and discipline has paid dividends...I can do activities with my 12 year old that her friends fathers(who are mostly younger than me) couldn't dream of..Its great...

 

This stuff(chasing younger women) wouldn't apply to me anyway...I am all set in my personal life..That's for all you guys to worry about...Even when it wasn't, I am not the type to approach women anyway...Never have in my entire life...That's correct...I don't and never have flirt, game, ask for numbers or anything...Never needed to, really...

 

So speak for yourself...You don't know me and dont have a clue, really;)

 

Oh, and while you are at it, maybe you can tell this 50 year old MMA fighter(the black guy in case you are wondering) that he isn't better than guys half his age, because he has been kicking their asses in every bout..

 

 

TFY

 

"10 plus hrs heavy physical work + training, etc"... LOL, I don't think a lot of women, young or old are interested in that.

 

And off you go bragging again. The thing is: I don't care. And I am sure most women don't care.

 

And off you go again showing some video of a guy with a lot of muscles who in my eyes is really ugly.

 

You come across as being extremely obsessed with your condition and your looks/muscles and I can only say that I find this personally very unattractive.

[PinkInTheLimo]

How old do you think the ladies lining up behind him are? They could just as easily be his age

 

My time to brag: at 50 I still have that kind of body! Always had BTW. That's probably my secret: my weight was always the same. And yoga does wonders to remain toned.

[thefooloftheyear]

To be fair, im sure there are guys out there who would wonder why a younger man would want an older woman. Im sure if women said hey lets date younger guys bc they

 

Are more physically attractive

Have less emotional baggage

Better in bed

More alive and fun

 

Plenty of older guys would take offense.

 

Some older guys have probs kerping it up, thats why cialus is here. Young guys have the opposite problem with too much erection. One 21 year old damned near killed me.

 

Your post is full of generalizations....In fact most of this thread is about generalizations...

 

Sure...most of what you state is true...But ,,,

 

Are ALL younger men more physically attractive?

Do ALL younger men have less emotional baggage?

Are ALL better in bed?

Are ALL more alive and fun>

 

The obvious answer is no...And you can say the same of women...I know two women over 50(one is a grandmother) that have bodies that would absolutely put 90% of women under 30 to shame..But like some youthful older guys, they aren't that common..but to say they don't exist is silly..

 

I've perused plenty of threads on here from young guys with ED or performance issue, yet I couldn't identify a Viagra or Cialis if you put one on the table...My grandfather back in the 1950's was banging the woman upstairs when he was in his 70's...There were no performance enhancing drugs...

 

Point is people are different...Everyone doesn't just fall into boxes..

 

Oh, and no.....guys dont care...never...

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

"10 plus hrs heavy physical work + training, etc"... LOL, I don't think a lot of women, young or old are interested in that.

 

Not the point...There are women that can keep up with that....You just aren't one of them...Too old? Bad leg?...Its ok though...

 

And off you go bragging again. The thing is: I don't care. And I am sure most women don't care.

 

Why would anyone brag on an anonymous site? Silly...

 

And off you go again showing some video of a guy with a lot of muscles who in my eyes is really ugly.

 

Well...I guess you go for the typical middle aged dad bod or beer gut look??....Its cool..they need love too...Rock it, girl!

 

You come across as being extremely obsessed with your condition and your looks/muscles and I can only say that I find this personally very unattractive.

 

Well...Too bad, I guess we wouldn't be a match, then.....I make no apologies to anyone nor try to impress anyone by taking good care of myself...I like being fit and strong...I like being able to walk a flight of stairs without getting out of breath or having a leg cramp..i like looking down and seeing my dick and my feet..I enjoy a long bike ride with my kid..I like having options in my life, its the only one I have so I want to live it to its fullest..I like that I live clean, take no meds and never been under the knife, while most of my peers are or have been..

 

Its the life that works for me...Hopefully you found what works for you as well..

 

TFY

[xxoo]

My time to brag: at 50 I still have that kind of body! Always had BTW. That's probably my secret: my weight was always the same. And yoga does wonders to remain toned.

 

Me, too, although I'm just 40s. And I've had 2 kids

 

Not all older women look like that, but not all older men look like Herschel Walker! And frankly, looking like that doesn't mean I'd be compatible with a 25 year old. Maybe in bed, haha, but not in life.