Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[hotpotato]

I don't know what to tell you..."shrug"..

 

You are just flat out wrong...

 

People aren't Lego's...Everyone is different...Even though we are about the same age and I don't know you from a hole in the wall, Im sure you are a nice woman, but Id wager that if you spent a typical day doing what I do(10 plus hrs heavy physical work + training, etc), you would have to take the rest of the week off to recover..but this isn't a competition..

 

I recently had a routine cardiac workup and stress test...You know what the doctor said to me when I asked about the results.?."keep doing whatever you are doing, your numbers and levels are better than most guys half your age"..

 

Im not Superman, and who knows, it can all end tomorrow...but for now, I am feeling pretty damned good, I look great, and I am very proud of the fact that all the hard work and discipline has paid dividends...I can do activities with my 12 year old that her friends fathers(who are mostly younger than me) couldn't dream of..Its great...

 

This stuff(chasing younger women) wouldn't apply to me anyway...I am all set in my personal life..That's for all you guys to worry about...Even when it wasn't, I am not the type to approach women anyway...Never have in my entire life...That's correct...I don't and never have flirt, game, ask for numbers or anything...Never needed to, really...

 

So speak for yourself...You don't know me and dont have a clue, really;)

 

Oh, and while you are at it, maybe you can tell this 50 year old MMA fighter(the black guy in case you are wondering) that he isn't better than guys half his age, because he has been kicking their asses in every bout..

 

 

TFY

 

Ok, now if I said anything remotely close to that, you'd call me out for bragging. You and autumnight. Yes, I'm calling y'all out!

[hotpotato]

Your post is full of generalizations....In fact most of this thread is about generalizations...

 

Sure...most of what you state is true...But ,,,

 

Are ALL younger men more physically attractive?

Do ALL younger men have less emotional baggage?

Are ALL better in bed?

Are ALL more alive and fun>

 

The obvious answer is no...And you can say the same of women...I know two women over 50(one is a grandmother) that have bodies that would absolutely put 90% of women under 30 to shame..But like some youthful older guys, they aren't that common..but to say they don't exist is silly..

 

I've perused plenty of threads on here from young guys with ED or performance issue, yet I couldn't identify a Viagra or Cialis if you put one on the table...My grandfather back in the 1950's was banging the woman upstairs when he was in his 70's...There were no performance enhancing drugs...

 

Point is people are different...Everyone doesn't just fall into boxes..

 

Oh, and no.....guys dont care...never...

 

TFY

 

I'm over 40 and can totally see why older women might want that. A lot of younger guys don't mind the dynamic either. I have no issues with it. Go for it!

Though I would contend one point. I could definitely teach my 21 year old self a lot about performance in bed

 

I am pushing 40 and if women my age want to date 21 year olds more power to them. I don't care.

 

All men on LS are magically progressive and tolerant (and have 8 inch penises)

[thefooloftheyear]

All men on LS are magically progressive and tolerant (and have 8 inch penises)

 

If you dont already know the differences between men and women and how they act/react among themselves, then I dont know what to tell you...*shrug*

 

My daughter is a shy kid, yet the drama that exists among her and her friends is almost unbelievable...All they do is cut each other to shyt and bicker/fight..They all want the be the Queen of the hen house.....

This behavior carries on into adulthood..

 

This topic is no different..

 

The real problem with age gap relationships and why older women dont like it, is just a manifestation of whats happening with my daughter and her friends...They hate the fact that another woman might be pissing on their so called stomping grounds...

 

As an employer Ive never had many female employees....The few times that I have had more than one, all that happened is it turned into a drama fest and which one is backstabbing the other.....All because there were some swinging dicks around that had no interest in any of them anyway.....Its ridiculous and Ill never understand it...

 

Guys dont care....They never do...

 

TFY

[hotpotato]

If you dont already know the differences between men and women and how they act/react among themselves, then I dont know what to tell you...*shrug*

 

My daughter is a shy kid, yet the drama that exists among her and her friends is almost unbelievable...All they do is cut each other to shyt and bicker/fight..They all want the be the Queen of the hen house.....

This behavior carries on into adulthood..

 

This topic is no different..

 

The real problem with age gap relationships and why older women dont like it, is just a manifestation of whats happening with my daughter and her friends...They hate the fact that another woman might be pissing on their so called stomping grounds...

 

As an employer Ive never had many female employees....The few times that I have had more than one, all that happened is it turned into a drama fest and which one is backstabbing the other.....All because there were some swinging dicks around that had no interest in any of them anyway.....Its ridiculous and Ill never understand it...

 

Guys dont care....They never do...

 

TFY

 

Maybe guys don't take it to heart because they think they are hot til they die? Then please break it down for me.

 

All the stuff about backstabbing. I'm glad you said it because if Hot tater did, it would cause a riot on ls.

[autumnnight]

Women do tend to be more...insidiously mean? to each other than men. Maybe because men tend to just duke it out and shake hands, while women will nurse a grudge against a b*tch forevah lol

 

I admit that I tend to have a bias against women who hate men, women who hate women (even worse) and women who think they are always right.

 

But then again, I also have a bias against men who hate women, men who hate men, and men who think they are always right.

 

I have unbiased bias

[Rejected Rosebud]

A lot of guys on this thread... Every older man who has ever hit on me...

 

...and when I can't go to a movie without routinely seeing some middle aged guy paired up romantically with a woman at least 10 to 15 years younger, but often as much as 20 years or more, and passing it off as 'normal'...

 

Srsly RR - if you encountered a poster on here who ranted furiously about how offended they got if they have to go to the movies and see an interracial couple or a gay couple or a jew with a christian couple, and that those couples are "pitching" something, would you feel that they had a good point? I feel exactly the same way when I read the anti-gay marriage hate as I feel when I read this. :sick: which is really really bad. I'm sorry I said nasty things to you in a post before but I have an emotional reaction to bigotry no matter who the target is.

 

I think I do have an understanding where you're coming from, of course we are always and have always been bombarded with the idea that women are only valuable in our youth while men "get better with age" and all of that, it's all over Loveshack sometimes and it IS offensive and sexist, but that doesn't mean that everyone who does it is either brainwashed or evil. You like what you like and it really isn't up to me or you to be shaming, insulting and belittling others for their preferences is it?? :(

[Rejected Rosebud]

My daughter is a shy kid, yet the drama that exists among her and her friends is almost unbelievable...All they do is cut each other to shyt and bicker/fight..They all want the be the Queen of the hen house.....

This behavior carries on into adulthood..

Well I take exception to THIS. No, not all women "want to be queen of the hen house." That is really badly sexist to say. I am not denying that the dynamics in boy and girl friendships are usually different but alot of that has to do with how the kid was raised, for example my parents never set that kind of example in my life and neither did our family friends and I did NOT act like that, neither did my friends, and we still don't. It's probably cultural.

 

This topic is no different..

you might want to look at your own bias here sorry!!! :bunny: I am pretty active on this thread and I see the majority of the women on it DEFENDING the rights of people to date whoever they want against the ONE woman who says it's a sign of being a disgusting pervert or a really really stupid person.

 

The real problem with age gap relationships and why older women dont like it, is just a manifestation of whats happening with my daughter and her friends...They hate the fact that another woman might be pissing on their so called stomping grounds...

Nope. The REAL problem here is that older women have been totally devalued forever and ever, and I am sure that some women see old men / young women couples as a threatening manifestation of that. Which it might be, lord knows there are enough threads here on ls that promote that idea. But still it's not my business and who knows if I get old and end up single whether I will feel bad seeing my age peers only dating young ladies, or maybe I will want to be with a 25 year old stud muffin!!

[RedRobin]

Srsly RR - if you encountered a poster on here who ranted furiously about how offended they got if they have to go to the movies and see an interracial couple or a gay couple or a jew with a christian couple, and that those couples are "pitching" something, would you feel that they had a good point? I feel exactly the same way when I read the anti-gay marriage hate as I feel when I read this. :sick: which is really really bad. I'm sorry I said nasty things to you in a post before but I have an emotional reaction to bigotry no matter who the target is.

 

I think I do have an understanding where you're coming from, of course we are always and have always been bombarded with the idea that women are only valuable in our youth while men "get better with age" and all of that, it's all over Loveshack sometimes and it IS offensive and sexist, but that doesn't mean that everyone who does it is either brainwashed or evil. You like what you like and it really isn't up to me or you to be shaming, insulting and belittling others for their preferences is it?? :(

 

I think you have it backwards.

 

When the whole world says younger women are fair game to be targets of men's sexual interest at any stage of a man's life no matter what role he plays in her life... And she is supposed to tolerate it.

 

That's more like saying that black people, Jews, interracial couples are supposed to tolerate racism and hatred of their religion.

 

I consider older men's entitlement regarding younger women to be no different than the entitlement of white people that they will be first pick for jobs, or promotions, or whatever. I, as a white person or maybe a black person living in a country that is majority black, have a hard time truly wrapping their arms around racism. But as a woman working around all men... I damned sure have an idea about what male entitlement looks like when it comes to some of their sexual interests. And it has nothing to do with sex or 'attraction'. It is all about power. And his own inability to accept aging.

 

...and like I said in an earlier post... If you are in an environment (living or working) where you haven't been subjected to much older men expecting you to tolerate their advances, then good for you. You have older women like me to thank.

 

And no, I don't need to spend my time going to movies that highlight men's entitlement. But just say that you have it very much backwards. I do not want my nieces or younger female relatives or acquaintances to be subjected to the idea that they are only valuable when they are less than 30 (or half his age plus seven, blah blah) or be around men who believe that. Same way I would tell them not to read fashion mags because they promote an unhealthy body image and a lot of young women are sensitive to that.

 

That is also why I consider it brainwashing when a younger woman does agree to date or marry a much older guy. She has been brainwashed by men and our culture to think they are better than men her own age. When they are not.

Edited October 18, 2015 by RedRobin

[autumnnight]

I admit to having been irritated at certain points in this thread....but my heart has softened somewhat, and now I am just sad.

 

I am very sory for whatever happened to you, RR, and I hope that you get the counseling and help that you need to heal.

[xxoo]

 

My daughter is a shy kid, yet the drama that exists among her and her friends is almost unbelievable...All they do is cut each other to shyt and bicker/fight..They all want the be the Queen of the hen house.....

This behavior carries on into adulthood..

 

This topic is no different..

 

The real problem with age gap relationships and why older women dont like it, is just a manifestation of whats happening with my daughter and her friends...They hate the fact that another woman might be pissing on their so called stomping grounds...

 

I'm the parent of a daughter and son. I can assure you that drama is not limited to one gender group of kids in childhood or teenage. I just had this conversation with my SON last week regarding a popular boy who periodically tries to exclude my kid and turn all the other boy against him It's exactly as it was when my daughter was younger. Daughter, now a teenager, has no tolerance for this crap and has surrounded herself kids who are more stable in self concept and temperament. I haven't heard any girl drama from her since elementary school recess days.

 

 

Anyway, maybe a reflection of the people I choose to hang around (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I, like my kid, gravitate toward the low-drama women and men), but I don't see women getting snarky with women about age gap relationships. I'm a bit concerned for the woman, and wonder if they've fully thought through the sacrifices they are risking with a large age gap (valuable years of full marriage, look at someone like Celine Dion). I do see women getting upset that men their own age seem to be exclusively focusing on women 10-15+ years younger, but I don't think that is typical of men in general. It may be typical of men on online dating sites, but that's not reflective of real life. I believe that OLD is full of people with dating issues, haha, so I wouldn't put much stock in their search criteria. I do, however, understand how it could get a woman down. Personally, I'd just ditch the OLD and charm some men IRL, but again, I veer away from the drama

[RedRobin]

Nope. The REAL problem here is that older women have been totally devalued forever and ever, and I am sure that some women see old men / young women couples as a threatening manifestation of that. Which it might be, lord knows there are enough threads here on ls that promote that idea. But still it's not my business and who knows if I get old and end up single whether I will feel bad seeing my age peers only dating young ladies, or maybe I will want to be with a 25 year old stud muffin!!

 

You still have it backwards. The old men/young woman dynamic is a manifestation of how younger women are devalued... Just because some old guy hits on you doesn't make you more valuable. Just the opposite in fact. If you understood anything about men and some of their needs for power and control in a relationship.

 

You still don't get it. When I see my same age peers hitting on younger women, I don't feel bad about myself at all. I am doing just fine. A lot of older women are just fine. But I remember being that younger woman, and feeling what a betrayal it was then. And how confusing it was. Not to mention annoying. If a same age peer needs that kind of dynamic to feel comfortable, then I don't want him. That's something else you don't get. A guy who hits on younger women makes him less attractive to me because it means he is not looking for an equal or a real partner.... As much as these guys claim otherwise.

 

And now that I am older, I can see where it comes from. I see EXACTLY where it comes from. And I am not going to support it.

Edited October 18, 2015 by RedRobin

[RedRobin]

I admit to having been irritated at certain points in this thread....but my heart has softened somewhat, and now I am just sad.

 

I am very sory for whatever happened to you, RR, and I hope that you get the counseling and help that you need to heal.

 

For chrissakes, this isn't about ME.

 

This is is about men's entitlement. I am not the one that needs therapy or a change in perspective.

 

But I will say this... I have always been ahead of my time. *shrug*

[autumnnight]

I can honestly say I have never in real life met a man who feels he is entitled to a younger woman. I only know of two, and they were both through online interaction. And yes, they both have some serious issues....but I think their younger woman fixation is just one of many symptoms of their dysfunction. And yes, in their cases, I DO feel sorry for the poor girls they find.

[RedRobin]

I can honestly say I have never in real life met a man who feels he is entitled to a younger woman. I only know of two, and they were both through online interaction. And yes, they both have some serious issues....but I think their younger woman fixation is just one of many symptoms of their dysfunction. And yes, in their cases, I DO feel sorry for the poor girls they find.

 

Well thank you! At last we have some middle ground...

[xxoo]

I can honestly say I have never in real life met a man who feels he is entitled to a younger woman. I only know of two, and they were both through online interaction. And yes, they both have some serious issues....but I think their younger woman fixation is just one of many symptoms of their dysfunction. And yes, in their cases, I DO feel sorry for the poor girls they find.

 

Exactly this It's not common in my experience. Most men that I know who are my age are with women close in age, and view much younger women as youngsters. Our daughters are getting close to or are already college aged, and so they don't view young women as sex partners

[thefooloftheyear]

Well I take exception to THIS. No, not all women "want to be queen of the hen house." That is really badly sexist to say. I am not denying that the dynamics in boy and girl friendships are usually different but alot of that has to do with how the kid was raised, for example my parents never set that kind of example in my life and neither did our family friends and I did NOT act like that, neither did my friends, and we still don't. It's probably cultural.

 

Why do people like yourself think that your experiences represent the totality of all female experiences.? Woman to woman sniping and back stabbing is well documented and exists in all cultures and all age ranges...Its not sexist, its just the reality of life as I observe it...And if there isnt Queen of the Henhouse happening, then why do women vie for attention from men, not by trying to put their own best foot forward, but rather by shytting on the other women in the room?

you might want to look at your own bias here sorry!!! :bunny: I am pretty active on this thread and I see the majority of the women on it DEFENDING the rights of people to date whoever they want against the ONE woman who says it's a sign of being a disgusting pervert or a really really stupid person.

 

Nope. The REAL problem here is that older women have been totally devalued forever and ever, and I am sure that some women see old men / young women couples as a threatening manifestation of that. Which it might be, lord knows there are enough threads here on ls that promote that idea. But still it's not my business and who knows if I get old and end up single whether I will feel bad seeing my age peers only dating young ladies, or maybe I will want to be with a 25 year old stud muffin!!

 

 

The only thing that might threaten me is someone with a .45 in my face or an angry Grizzly when I am alone in the woods...Why in the hell do people feel 'threatened" by relationship among others that have nothing to do with them is beyond me? Incomprehensible, really...

 

TFY

 

 

 

 

[thefooloftheyear]

I can honestly say I have never in real life met a man who feels he is entitled to a younger woman. I only know of two, and they were both through online interaction. And yes, they both have some serious issues....but I think their younger woman fixation is just one of many symptoms of their dysfunction. And yes, in their cases, I DO feel sorry for the poor girls they find.

 

 

Right!

 

No one mentioned anything about entitlement...

 

But the fact is that I do know several older men, younger women couples that are as normal as any you would find...What works for them is their business..No one else's

 

Why the need for some women to feel "threatened" or throw rocks and bottles at that is the real question at hand...

 

TFY

[xxoo]

why do women vie for attention from men, not by trying to put their own best foot forward, but rather by shytting on the other women in the room?

 

Who are these women you know?? I'm glad I don't know these women.

 

Teenage girls these days comment on each other's photos on Instagram telling each other how beautiful they are, and "hair goals" or "outfit goals" indicating it is their goal to have hair or outfits as "perf" as their friend. I don't think you have the full picture of female relationships.

[RedRobin]

Why the need for some women to feel "threatened" or throw rocks and bottles at that is the real question at hand...

 

TFY

 

No, the real question at hand is why some men need to keep pitching the older man/younger woman dynamic. When it clearly is not the most functional arrangement and is usually not in the woman's best interest unless money is involved.

 

That is the real question. If you don't care, then stop trying to tell everyone how much better older men are than their younger male counterparts, and how fit you are, blah blah. It comes across as disengenuous.

[thefooloftheyear]

Who are these women you know?? I'm glad I don't know these women.

 

Teenage girls these days comment on each other's photos on Instagram telling each other how beautiful they are, and "hair goals" or "outfit goals" indicating it is their goal to have hair or outfits as "perf" as their friend. I don't think you have the full picture of female relationships.

 

Please let me know where on Fantasyland you live..

 

 

And the whole bullying on social media(mostly from girls) that is plastered all over the news is just a figment of imagination.?...Heck, some girls have committed suicide over it...

 

 

One of my cousins hasn't spoken to the other because she didn't like the dress she wore to her wedding....

 

That was like 25 years ago...

 

I think you need to open your eyes..

 

TFY

[xxoo]

 

Why the need for some women to feel "threatened" or throw rocks and bottles at that is the real question at hand...

 

TFY

 

I would guess it's because they are only getting attention from much older men, while men their age are focusing on younger women.

 

As I've already said, that's not a general truth, but it may be an OLD truth. My advise would be to get off OLD and interact with men IRL.

[thefooloftheyear]

No, the real question at hand is why some men need to keep pitching the older man/younger woman dynamic. When it clearly is not the most functional arrangement and is usually not in the woman's best interest unless money is involved.

 

That is the real question. If you don't care, then stop trying to tell everyone how much better older men are than their younger male counterparts, and how fit you are, blah blah. It comes across as disengenuous.

 

 

Show me one post where I said I am better.,,,,Im just pretty good for my age..Just saying I am "whatever" doesnt make me better and I would never make that claim....so stop with the selective comprehension..

 

I only care in the context of this discussion...Because maybe I take joy in pointing out ridiculous commentary, like everything in your posts

 

TFY

[xxoo]

Please let me know where on Fantasyland you live..

 

 

And the whole bullying on social media(mostly from girls) that is plastered all over the news is just a figment of imagination.?...Heck, some girls have committed suicide over it...

 

 

One of my cousins hasn't spoken to the other because she didn't like the dress she wore to her wedding....

 

That was like 25 years ago...

 

I think you need to open your eyes..

 

TFY

 

I live in the real world. I am fully aware that these issues exist (and analogous issues exist among boys and men). I choose not to engage, and have easily found like minded men and women. My sisters and my daughter are also like me, so whether it's genetics or environment, it may run in circles. When my daughter knows a girl with this behavior, sure enough her mother is the same. We avoid, avoid, avoid.

[autumnnight]

As someone who has taught in some capacity for the past 20 years...I gotta say...while girls can also be a source of encouragement for each other....the mean girl phenomenon is alive and well, and it does carry into adulthood. I mean, denying that would be denying the grass is green.

 

But I don't really think mean girls are the issue. I think this issue with respect to THIS topic is an unwillingness for some women, for whatever traumatic or just plain angry reason, to acknowledge the FACT that there are couple with age gaps in which BOTH partners are completely healthy.

 

I don't know WHY they choose to be in denial, but they are just flat out wrong in their broad brush and offensive painting.

 

Period.

[xxoo]

As someone who has taught in some capacity for the past 20 years...I gotta say...while girls can also be a source of encouragement for each other....the mean girl phenomenon is alive and well, and it does carry into adulthood. I mean, denying that would be denying the grass is green.

 

But I don't really think mean girls are the issue. I think this issue with respect to THIS topic is an unwillingness for some women, for whatever traumatic or just plain angry reason, to acknowledge the FACT that there are couple with age gaps in which BOTH partners are completely healthy.

 

I don't know WHY they choose to be in denial, but they are just flat out wrong in their broad brush and offensive painting.

 

Period.

 

Sure, the mean girl dynamic exists, but reduce this issue down to competitiveness between women is ridiculous because--

 

A. not all women, and particularly not all women concerned with this topic, engage in such behavior. Some of us are supportive of women overall, including here on LS

 

B. not all women concerned with topic think badly about or feel animosity toward the younger woman. SOme feel genuine care for them.

 

C. Not all women concerned with the topic feel threatened by it, other than worrying about men around our daughters.

 

And yes, of course, there are couples with age gaps that are quite healthy and compatible. They are the exceptions, especially as age gap relationships are rare overall, and successful ones are statistically quite rare.