Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[Robert Z]

Physical attraction is very important but as for the brain: I tend to find younger men more flexible and resilient. Older men tend to get too conservative. I'm 42 this year but can't imagine dating a 50 year-old. I'm sure there are some gorgeous, fun, active ones out there! It's just that I don't meet any.

 

 

 

I've 55 but having a hard time adjusting to the idea of dating women over 30.

[escafeld]

But how can that be pre-judging when it's people I work with who tell me about their weekend? Or I hear about them through friends or whatever? It's people I meet in life, not read about in the newspaper.

 

Of course there are exceptions, I mentioned one in my previous post. People become less active as they get older as a rule, not sure what's surprising about that.

As I said I wasn't deriding your experiences, but you gave me examples which appeared to be generic rather than specific as you're pointing out now.

 

Just as a matter of interest, how old are these older men you work with? I wouldn't class me or my male friends as exceptional but we're in the main probably more active (physically/emotionally) than we were (age ranges 45-65), my children are grown and independent so I've more time to do things I really enjoy and also have a full appreciation that my time isn't unlimited in which to do it! One of my friends has just celebrated his 70th birthday, he's a handsome, urbane creature in a deeply loving and committed relationship with his 2nd wife. They holiday regularly, renovate properties, visit the theatre..I even caught him gardening in a hoodie-thankfully he doesn't often keep it sooo real!

 

 

Guess depends on how much time you have on your hands. Instead of testing out the 10 million 50-somethings the UK has, I just go and train with 30 somethings in the boxing gym. Now, IF they come down to the gym and meet them there, that's great. However I'd say the men in my gym are roughly 21-45. Same for the powerlifters gym I used to go to and the ordinary one. There are probably 5-10% that are over 45.

 

Forgive me if I give the impression Im judging your lifestyle, but men you encounter in a gym are likely to be a narrow cohort, however old they are, personally I now prefer more esoteric pursuits than pumping iron.

 

I guess that's one of the benefits of age..been there, got the t-shirt, you pick and choose what it is that makes you happy through experience. If that's supping tea in front of the TV that's great, if it's sweating in front of the mirror at the gym..go for it, but don't dismiss folks because of their choices-I've learnt a lot about the 'joys' of Coronation Street from my partner's 16 year old daughter!

[Emilia]

I've 55 but having a hard time adjusting to the idea of dating women over 30.

Exactly. I actually know a couple of guys my age that are great, very fit, good looking, etc. Unfortunately for me they are both married. I'm pretty sure they have a good few years in them still.

[Robert Z]

Exactly. I actually know a couple of guys my age that are great, very fit, good looking, etc. Unfortunately for me they are both married. I'm pretty sure they have a good few years in them still.

 

 

I know a guy who is 72, who races in 90 mile bicycle races with men half his age, and who sees numerous escorts in their twenties every week. His biggest complaint is that he never meets women who can keep up with him.

 

Age ain't what it used to be.

 

 

Actually, his biggest complaint is that women just want his retirement account

Edited February 18, 2014 by Robert Z

[Emilia]

As I said I wasn't deriding your experiences, but you gave me examples which appeared to be generic rather than specific as you're pointing out now.

 

Just as a matter of interest, how old are these older men you work with? I wouldn't class me or my male friends as exceptional but we're in the main probably more active (physically/emotionally) than we were (age ranges 45-65), my children are grown and independent so I've more time to do things I really enjoy and also have a full appreciation that my time isn't unlimited in which to do it! One of my friends has just celebrated his 70th birthday, he's a handsome, urbane creature in a deeply loving and committed relationship with his 2nd wife. They holiday regularly, renovate properties, visit the theatre..I even caught him gardening in a hoodie-thankfully he doesn't often keep it sooo real!

The most senior guy that just walked past my desk is about 58, most are 27 - 45 though. The most senior managers are late 40s, early 50s. They are fit but they aren't for me.

 

I'm glad you have a nice life but it sounds very sedentary to my tastes. I don't know why my preferences are wrong? I'm glad your 70 year-old friend is well but to be honest people at that age just remind me of dying way too much. I'll get to hang out with them when I join an old people's home. Not until then.

Forgive me if I give the impression Im judging your lifestyle, but men you encounter in a gym are likely to be a narrow cohort, however old they are, personally I now prefer more esoteric pursuits than pumping iron.

I like fit, athletic men because I'm fit and athletic. I also have a career, a huge interest in current affairs, literature and classical music. Yet you think I only care about 'pumping iron' and that the men I encounter only care about that too because we take care of ourselves. This is what I mean about 'old mentality'. It's not attractive.

 

Exercise gives you endorphins, it makes you strong, capable. It makes your mentally strong too, gives you a different perspective, it's a great stress buster.

I guess that's one of the benefits of age..been there, got the t-shirt, you pick and choose what it is that makes you happy through experience. If that's supping tea in front of the TV that's great, if it's sweating in front of the mirror at the gym..go for it, but don't dismiss folks because of their choices-I've learnt a lot about the 'joys' of Coronation Street from my partner's 16 year old daughter!

Actually I don't use the mirror at the gym because I'm way too sweaty and red in the face to look at myself in that state It also gets in the way of performing my deadlifts with correct form

 

I can dismiss anyone I like for my dating preferences. I don't want to sleep with oldies. Maybe when I hit 55 I will have to. Right now I can sleep with the young ones. I'm sorry but that's how it is.

[RedRobin]

I did a Tough Mudder...once...never again..

 

I work harder than that just doing my job every day.-and no I am not kidding....Quite frankly it was kind of a joke..Bunch of out of shape accountants that think they are badasses because they played in the mud...

 

 

TFY

 

 

Ha! Very true. I came across a couple of guys when I was doing OLD who had pics of them doing that race. Turns out that was the only race they'd run that year and they hit the weights like, once a month max. Hardly the 1-3 times a week they claimed in their profile.

 

 

So annoying. A lot of times people do those things for the picture op and the hoo-rah effect. But that's ok. Still better than sitting on the couch! If it inspires them to do more of the same, then it's all good.

[escafeld]

The most senior guy that just walked past my desk is about 58, most are 27 - 45 though. The most senior managers are late 40s, early 50s. They are fit but they aren't for me.

 

I'm glad you have a nice life but it sounds very sedentary to my tastes. I don't know why my preferences are wrong? I'm glad your 70 year-old friend is well but to be honest people at that age just remind me of dying way too much. I'll get to hang out with them when I join an old people's home. Not until then.

My life isn't sedentary, as I said Im more active now, physically and mentally than I was when I was younger!

I like fit, athletic men because I'm fit and athletic. I also have a career, a huge interest in current affairs, literature and classical music. Yet you think I only care about 'pumping iron' and that the men I encounter only care about that too because we take care of ourselves. This is what I mean about 'old mentality'. It's not attractive.

I only mentioned pumping iron because you gave the impression you encountered men you're attracted to at the boxing gym.

Exercise gives you endorphins, it makes you strong, capable. It makes your mentally strong too, gives you a different perspective, it's a great stress buster.

I agree, Im a member of a cycling club and probably ride 30/40 miles per week, with devotees of all ages.

Actually I don't use the mirror at the gym because I'm way too sweaty and red in the face to look at myself in that state It also gets in the way of performing my deadlifts with correct form

Good for you Emilia!

I can dismiss anyone I like for my dating preferences. I don't want to sleep with oldies.

I wasn't exclusively talking about dismissing from a dating perspective, I was really referring to forming opinions about people based on their age and gave a learning experience about Coronation Street which I was introduced to by my partner's teenage daughter.

Maybe when I hit 55 I will have to. Right now I can sleep with the young ones. I'm sorry but that's how it is.

That's absolutely fine, as I said I wasn't criticising your preferences, I was simply offering a different view to the one you hold.

[Emilia]

I only mentioned pumping iron because you gave the impression you encountered men you're attracted to at the boxing gym.

I am attracted to some of the men at my boxing gym, one of them asked me out recently. I just don't get this thing about how being a physical person automatically makes you vain or only care about 'pumping iron' or whatever. This is the crux of my last few posts though: this mentality I encounter amongst older people (men and women, though men more to be honest) that somehow looking after yourself physically or being strong or fit makes you some kind of an airhead. Or liking men who are very sporty or athletic somehow makes both of us airheads. I find that quite an archaic way to view the world. Younger people don't seem to have this prejudice.

[RedRobin]

Not sure I agree with the bolded, that's sounds more like 'pleasantly disappointed' or 'things turning out better than anticipated'.

 

For the age thing: it's not prejudice as I know a lot of men my age or older. I just don't tend to like them because they let themselves go - and not only physically. I mean I don't even have a television at home, not in the habit of putting my feet up with a cup of tea complaining about how my back is hurting or 'young people nowdays' or whatever it is that older folk do. (Except Gorilla Theatre, he is probably building something or shooting something or fishing or taking someone to court, taking care of his million kids some very young, etc)

 

 

Agree. I don't have a TV either. Haven't for many years. People have no idea how much time they waste daily with those. At work, folks ask me... how can you possibly get so much done?? Simple. Eliminate the 1-3 hours watching the boob tube and eliminate the unproductive commute to work (ie take a bus, train, or simply move closer)... and be amazed how much time is freed up to do all kinds of things!

 

 

Anyone... middle aged or otherwise... who wants to live a more productive life... #1 is get rid of the damned TV. Period.

[Radu]

Haven't watched one (except for sport in sports bars, obviously ) since July 2011.

 

To add to this and for UTR, 10yrs here without watching TV.

I don't own one, and i haven't had one in my house for 4yrs now [i gave my old one away].

[Radu]

I'm staying in this thread, turns out i'm the youngest one here.

[escafeld]

I am attracted to some of the men at my boxing gym, one of them asked me out recently. I just don't get this thing about how being a physical person automatically makes you vain or only care about 'pumping iron' or whatever.

Well Im a little confused because you're applying sentiments to my posts that I haven't used. I was responding to your two examples-that in your experience older men (ie those you work with) are couch potatoes, whereas the younger ones you encounter (at your boxing gym) aren't.

 

This is the crux of my last few posts though: this mentality I encounter amongst older people (men and women, though men more to be honest) that somehow looking after yourself physically or being strong or fit makes you some kind of an airhead. Or liking men who are very sporty or athletic somehow makes both of us airheads. I find that quite an archaic way to view the world. Younger people don't seem to have this prejudice.

 

You're being a little defensive, I wasn't suggesting any of that or implying it, in fact I stated I take people how I find them, irrespective of their age and have always been legged up when I try to apply preconceptions to people based on that criteria. I know some perfectly lovely people who train at the gym, I used to myself but personally found it a one dimensional activity, that doesn't mean I view gym goers as being one dimensional.

[Under The Radar]

I'm staying in this thread, turns out i'm the youngest one here.

 

I'm not the youngest one here, but I'm staying for the entertainment value .

 

No idea how a thread about dating older men transformed into a debate about the finer points of exercise .

[GorillaTheater]

Anyone... middle aged or otherwise... who wants to live a more productive life... #1 is get rid of the damned TV. Period.

 

 

During the Olympics??

[theothersully]

I agree with you that menopausal women taking bioidentical hormones which increase their sex drive definitely need a much younger man. Men their age cannot keep up (or keep it up) unless they are in exceptionally good shape.

 

Or cheat the same way and take bioidentical testosterone....,

 

More one sided bs.

[theothersully]

Agree. I don't have a TV either. Haven't for many years. People have no idea how much time they waste daily with those. At work, folks ask me... how can you possibly get so much done?? Simple. Eliminate the 1-3 hours watching the boob tube and eliminate the unproductive commute to work (ie take a bus, train, or simply move closer)... and be amazed how much time is freed up to do all kinds of things!

 

 

Anyone... middle aged or otherwise... who wants to live a more productive life... #1 is get rid of the damned TV. Period.

 

About the only thing RedRobin and I agree on.

 

Proud non TV owner for 11 years.

 

I also haven't commuted to work in about 15 years.

[RedRobin]

About the only thing RedRobin and I agree on.

Proud non TV owner for 11 years.

 

I also haven't commuted to work in about 15 years.

 

 

It was just a matter of time

[thefooloftheyear]

About the only thing RedRobin and I agree on.

 

Proud non TV owner for 11 years.

 

I also haven't commuted to work in about 15 years.

 

Ohhh...Heavens NO!!...I need my TV...Need to watch FOX news...CNN and the Lawrence Welk show reruns....In between shaking my cane at the damned kids playing in the street...

 

 

TFY

[gaius]

Some of the only worthwhile art the US is producing right now is certain TV shows. The Sopranos, Dexter, Battlestar Galactica, The Wire. Don't know what you're all missing.

[Under The Radar]

Some of the only worthwhile art the US is producing right now is certain TV shows. The Sopranos, Dexter, Battlestar Galactica, The Wire. Don't know what you're all missing.

 

Hey, what about "Game of Thrones"?

 

EDIT: Just checked my e-mail and it looks like Amazon shipped Season 3 today with an estimated arrival of tomorrow ...... God I love Amazon.

Edited February 18, 2014 by Training Revelations

[Tayken]

 

During the Olympics??

 

 

Hey now....lets call it what it is, a few countries getting together to have recess, hardly the summer Olympics with a lot more countries from around the world. Just saying

 

I hope people don't have TV in the bedroom? Cos if you do, then that is your passion killer right there

Ohhh...Heavens NO!!...I need my TV...Need to watch FOX news...CNN and the Lawrence Welk show reruns.

 

There is this gadget called the RADIO.....it's really great and I recommend it

[BradJacobs]

I hope people don't have TV in the bedroom? Cos if you do, then that is your passion killer right there

 

Depends on what you are watching on the television.

[xxoo]

There is this gadget called the RADIO.....it's really great and I recommend it

 

How old are you?

[Tayken]

How old are you?

 

 

Er....I am in my 40s, but you wouldn't think it looking at me.....the trick, no booze nor smoking, just lots of bedroom acrobatics

 

Depends on what you are watching on the television.

 

Ewwwww

[FitChick]

Tayken, do you listen to BBC4? I got hooked on David Sedaris' programs when a British friend told me about it. I like to listen online while I am ironing or sewing or doing other boring household chores. When you watch TV you have to stay in one spot. I am too restless for that. One reason I hate the computer but it's a necessary evil.