Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[RedRobin]

The younger guys are also a lot more emancipated. They understand that if in a couple you both go out working that the household chores should also be shared. It might be because their mothers already were professionally active.

 

I prefer a guy my age but if these guys keep going for the younger women, I would certainly give a younger man a chance. Not an older man. In my case, born in the 60ies, the older guys are spoilt baby boomers who are totally incompatible with Generation X gals.

 

 

The ones who had SAHM's who didn't work outside the home or were not self-sufficient, I agree. A lot have outdated ideas of what a partnership is.

 

 

Candy Pants,

 

The PUA thinking has filtered throughout the dating world. The younger ones are just not as good at hiding it.

 

 

.... and on that note... I just signed up for my first marathon. Am taking it seriously since the times qualify for the Boston. OH, and my 'trainer' is a man 9 years my junior. He just broke up with his GF.

Edited April 17, 2014 by RedRobin

[xxoo]

Gorilla,

 

 

The only idea that has no f*cking credibility, is the idea that age gap relationships (on average) are in any way equal to a same age relationship.

 

 

Candy Pants,

 

 

The only men (as a group) who have been more honest with me is younger men.

 

 

Same age and older have been the ones willing to be deceptive. The only reason I haven't given up the same age group is because I believe that finding one in that group is more likely to be long lasting... IF one can be found.

 

 

If/when I give up any desire for something long-lasting, I will go for the younger ones too. I've had plenty of offers.

 

 

Don't see any benefit whatsoever in going older. None.

 

It makes zero sense to me that you would characterize men poorly for going for younger, and justify going younger for yourself.

[PinkInTheLimo]

It makes zero sense to me that you would characterize men poorly for going for younger, and justify going younger for yourself.

 

It's not so much going for younger. It's rather noticing that men your own age only want younger women and consequently deciding to give younger men - that is if they show interest - a shot. That's something else than deliberately excluding women your own age as a considerable part of the over 40 men do.

[GorillaTheater]

It's not so much going for younger. It's rather noticing that men your own age only want younger women and consequently deciding to give younger men - that is if they show interest - a shot. That's something else than deliberately excluding women your own age as a considerable part of the over 40 men do.

 

Well, if it gets her to quit carping about age-gap relationships, then I'm all for it.

 

I guess the torch will get passed off to you.

[Babolat]

Here is 40 year old Heidi Klum with her 27 year old boyfriend...I dont see anyone calling her out...And just for the record, Ive never dated a supermodel and I am not a fine art dealer, but if I had that guys physique, Id be too embarrassed to take my shirt off...And I am old enough to be his daddy...

 

Heidi Klum goes topless with boyfriend, 27 | Page Six

 

TFY

 

 

I was thinking the exact same when I saw this photo on TV last night..really, that guy?

[RedRobin]

It makes zero sense to me that you would characterize men poorly for going for younger, and justify going younger for yourself.

 

 

I'll admit I'm being a bit of a brat. These guys don't like being shoved aside because of their age or negative stereotypes applied to their aging process.

 

 

They like to think the world is their oyster at a certain age... but if the same age, attractive peers don't want them either, then, well... that's fewer options for them.

 

 

Fewer options for anything... Not eff buddies, not FWB, none of that...

 

 

All I can say is that shared experiences tend to bring more empathy.

[Under The Radar]

I know that the following information contributes absolutely nothing of benefit to this discussion, but I still have an innate desire to share:

 

 

At 40, I love when a woman serves me PB&J with the crusts cut off ...... shaped into little triangles ...... just the way my Grandma used to make when I was a child - LOL.

 

 

BTW, of little relevance again, eating my fruits and vegetables is an instant deal breaker ...... at least that's what my grade school teachers told me .

[Babolat]

Don't see any benefit whatsoever in going older. None.

 

Really? Isn't the new 3 date guy, cough cough, older than you?

 

 

Wait, you can go younger, but all of us men on LS, can't? Hmmmmm....

[RedRobin]

I was thinking the exact same when I saw this photo on TV last night..really, that guy?

 

 

 

... and you know what?? That is EXACTLY what I think when I see most older men with a much younger woman.... Like, seriously??

[Babolat]

... and you know what?? That is EXACTLY what I think when I see most older men with a much younger woman.... Like, seriously??

 

I was commenting on his physique, or lack thereof.

[RedRobin]

Really? Isn't the new 3 date guy, cough cough, older than you?

 

 

Wait, you can go younger, but all of us men on LS, can't? Hmmmmm....

 

 

3 years is not 'older'. That is same age. If he were 3 years younger, I'd say the same thing. Guess what? My ex-H was two years younger. I call him same age. Two years younger when I was in my 20's too, when it made a bigger difference.

 

 

Yes, I know that in your world... if a woman came out of the womb 5 minutes before you, that counts as 'older'.

[Woggle]

Gorilla,

 

 

The only idea that has no f*cking credibility, is the idea that age gap relationships (on average) are in any way equal to a same age relationship.

 

 

Candy Pants,

 

 

The only men (as a group) who have been more honest with me is younger men.

 

 

Same age and older have been the ones willing to be deceptive. The only reason I haven't given up the same age group is because I believe that finding one in that group is more likely to be long lasting... IF one can be found.

 

 

If/when I give up any desire for something long-lasting, I will go for the younger ones too. I've had plenty of offers.

 

 

Don't see any benefit whatsoever in going older. None.

 

Then how are you any different than the men you complain about so much? I have no issue with age gap relationships within reason but I apply that to both genders. As much as you go on about double standards this is a blatant example of one.

[RedRobin]

I know that the following information contributes absolutely nothing of benefit to this discussion, but I still have an innate desire to share:

 

 

At 40, I love when a woman serves me PB&J with the crusts cut off ...... shaped into little triangles ...... just the way my Grandma used to make when I was a child - LOL.

 

 

BTW, of little relevance again, eating my fruits and vegetables is an instant deal breaker ...... at least that's what my grade school teachers told me .

 

 

I'd make PB&J, cut the crusts off, and shape it into little triangles for YOU.

 

 

I might even make the peanut butter and jelly myself too. Just learned how to can things this last summer.

[RedRobin]

Then how are you any different than the men you complain about so much? I have no issue with age gap relationships within reason but I apply that to both genders. As much as you go on about double standards this is a blatant example of one.

 

 

Oh please.... you don't know me better than this by now?! I'm just jerking you guys chain.

 

 

Some of you guys definitely need it.

[Babolat]

3 years is not 'older'. That is same age. If he were 3 years younger, I'd say the same thing. Guess what? My ex-H was two years younger. I call him same age. Two years younger when I was in my 20's too, when it made a bigger difference.

 

 

Yes, I know that in your world... if a woman came out of the womb 5 minutes before you, that counts as 'older'.

 

 

God how Iove you RR! Really, I do.

 

 

So we are all on the same page, when is someone older and when is someone younger related to dating?

 

 

My sister is 2 years older than me, my other sister is 8 years older than me. I have always said "they are older than me".

 

 

When I was 25 I dated a woman who was 32...was that, too old?

[Babolat]

I'd make PB&J, cut the crusts off, and shape it into little triangles for YOU.

I wonder if Mr 3 dates would like to read this...no, he's not the jealous type, he's probably already shopping for a ring, anyway.

[Babolat]

when I was in my 20's too, when it made a bigger difference.

 

 

Really? In ones 20s, 2 years is a big difference. Okay, so now I need even more help as this appears to be a 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s thing, too. Geez, I have so much to learn.

 

 

I was 20 when I met my first wife. She was 18. Was she, too young for me?

[Candy_Pants]

So....three years in either direction doesn't count??

 

How about 5 years? 10? Where is the cut off? WHO DECIDES??

 

My H and I are the exact same age. Technically, he's three hours older.

 

I Candy_Pants do declare, that any relationships where a man is more than four hours older than the woman are disgusting and unholy!!!! But I reserve MY right to date men younger than me .

[Babolat]

So....three years in either direction doesn't count??

 

How about 5 years? 10? Where is the cut off? WHO DECIDES??

 

My H and I are the exact same age. Technically, he's three hours older.

 

I Candy_Pants do declare, that any relationships where a man is more than four hours older than the woman are disgusting and unholy!!!! But I reserve MY right to date men younger than me .

 

 

RR decides, of course, we all know that..her rules. And she can change them when it suits her.

 

 

Your H got him a youngin!

[gaius]

I Candy_Pants do declare, that any relationships where a man is more than four hours older than the woman are disgusting and unholy!!!! But I reserve MY right to date men younger than me .

I think Red was being facetious with that last comment. She once threatened to hire a prostitute you know!

 

I'd be thrilled if I had a son tomorrow and he started dating Heidi Klum when she was 58 and he just hit 18.

[pickflicker]

All of it. I will be correct and charming but things will be on a friendship basis until I know a bit what you stand for. If the guy pulls the romantic card immediaty it makes me very suspicious. He does not know me so his romantic gestures don't have any meaning.

 

I can't love like that. When I'm in, I'm in. Of course, when it blows up in my pretty little face I am devastated, but I'm still here. Surprisingly bitter-free. A little sad today though.

 

But I keep going...

[KathyM]

... and I was often the only woman in the room or maybe even the building having to hold my own on lots of things.

 

 

I didn't have too many other women around to show me the ropes or to help navigate things where I needed the most help... at work and at school. Had a lot of great male mentors though. A lot.

 

 

A few really sucked. The ones I mention here.

 

 

The reason I feel compelled to try and protect some women (and guide some men) is because I didn't necessarily have so much of that guidance from women growing up... and I know what good guidance and interaction looks like and feels like from men. I know what the bad looks like too.

 

 

... at the very least, I think people ought to know what they are getting themselves into. Not everyone has someone in their lives that will help them make those choices responsibly with their eyes open. Your sister is fortunate to have you.

Thank you. I try. They know I have their best interests at heart.

[KathyM]

Here is 40 year old Heidi Klum with her 27 year old boyfriend...I dont see anyone calling her out...And just for the record, Ive never dated a supermodel and I am not a fine art dealer, but if I had that guys physique, Id be too embarrassed to take my shirt off...And I am old enough to be his daddy...

 

Heidi Klum goes topless with boyfriend, 27 | Page Six

 

TFY

I would hardly call celebrity relationships or marriages as healthy examples. Celebrities have way more cases of infidelity and divorce than the general population.

[Weezy1973]

Going out on a limb here - RR, your ex-husband, the one that cheated on you, was it with a woman that was younger than him? Quite a bit younger?

[KathyM]

You cannot be serious.

 

Infidelity is EVERYWHERE. The last sexual health survey in Australia estimated that more than 70% of relationships had experienced some form of infidelity.

 

It doesn't discriminate. The only reason you think it's higher, is because of tabloids. We know everyone's dirty laundry. John Doe who is having it off with the neighbour down the street whilst maintaining his perfect family, you're never going to know his business!

 

And more to the point, the stats only relate to people who are actually honest. Stick 100 couples in a room and ask each of them have they cheated on their spouse, and the answer will be a resounding "No".

 

Christ, that statement takes the cake.

Are you really this naive? The divorce rate for celebrities is much higher than the general population. It's 50% for the general population. It's 70% to 78% for celebrities. The infidelity rate is higher for celebrities as well. Certainly not a group to consider as good examples of healthy or lasting relationships.