Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[RedRobin]

He is simply showing the other side of things. Also I have no issue with women who had their fun or had some wild times. There are plenty had fun and look back on it without a load of rage and resentment towards men in general that she will one day dump on some poor naive guy who won't know what him. They are the kinds of women who go for the same guys over and over again and never once take any responsibility for how they get themselves into the same situations. They complain that no good men exist but let them find one treats him well and they bite his head off like a black widow. He isn't simply talking about women with a past.

 

 

Well, it is the women who typically get judged for who they sleep with, not the men.

 

 

I, for one, judge the men too. For their decisions on whom they sleep with. Lots of guys aren't used to that. At least I can say that the men hitting on their same age peers or older are picking on someone their own size... haha

 

 

These guys who go after younger women are going after the malleable and naïve. The ones who haven't figured out how to sort out the reformed 'bad boys' or players. I mean, those guys weren't celibate all those years. How many younger women are going to ask the tough questions?? Lots don't. That's why they are targets. Just like that article that Kathy posted awhile back. Those men look to younger women like the resident mail-order brides.

 

 

I work around all men, so that's how I learned how lots of them are. The post above by You Lose, well... he didn't get HIS insights second hand, is my bet, lol.

[Keenly]

Well, it is the women who typically get judged for who they sleep with, not the men.

 

 

I, for one, judge the men too. For their decisions on whom they sleep with. Lots of guys aren't used to that. At least I can say that the men hitting on their same age peers or older are picking on someone their own size... haha

 

 

These guys who go after younger women are going after the malleable and naïve. The ones who haven't figured out how to sort out the reformed 'bad boys' or players. I mean, those guys weren't celibate all those years. How many younger women are going to ask the tough questions?? Lots don't. That's why they are targets. Just like that article that Kathy posted awhile back. Those men look to younger women like the resident mail-order brides.

 

 

I work around all men, so that's how I learned how lots of them are. The post above by You Lose, well... he didn't get HIS insights second hand, is my bet, lol.

 

 

Since apparently you know everything about everyone.

[RedRobin]

I also believe even in bad situations or when things don't end as we would like... That there is still a lot of good that can come for it not to mention character building, wisdom and knowledge.

 

 

Finally... something we can agree on.

[Woggle]

Well, it is the women who typically get judged for who they sleep with, not the men.

 

 

I, for one, judge the men too. For their decisions on whom they sleep with. Lots of guys aren't used to that. At least I can say that the men hitting on their same age peers or older are picking on someone their own size... haha

 

 

These guys who go after younger women are going after the malleable and naïve. The ones who haven't figured out how to sort out the reformed 'bad boys' or players. I mean, those guys weren't celibate all those years. How many younger women are going to ask the tough questions?? Lots don't. That's why they are targets. Just like that article that Kathy posted awhile back. Those men look to younger women like the resident mail-order brides.

 

 

I work around all men, so that's how I learned how lots of them are. The post above by You Lose, well... he didn't get HIS insights second hand, is my bet, lol.

 

Many younger women know how to sort out the bad boys and players and still find them attractive. Most women who date men like this know the score. These are not naive and innocent little flowers.

[Robert Z]

These guys who go after younger women are going after the malleable and naïve. The ones who haven't figured out how to sort out the reformed 'bad boys' or players.

 

 

 

Gee, that's funny! I thought I just fell madly in love. Who knew?

 

 

She has had ALL of the power in our relationship and I don't even mind. You know why? Because she's a wonderful person. She has had every opportunity to take advantage of the situation and she never has. My ex on the other hand treated me like crap. So when you say naïve and malleable, I guess you really mean kind, understanding and giving. Or are these foreign concepts?

[Eternal Sunshine]

This thread got way out of hand, I kind of skimmed over last 30 pages....so "off topic":

 

I met a guy on the weekend that looked around 30 to me. I just assumed we are roughly the same age and I didn't ask (I usually do when a guy looks really young). Anyway, he added me on Facebook and I found out that he is actually 24... - that's way too young even for me. Sadly, that's what approaches me when I go out. It seems like men my age all have wife and kids already. The only ones I meet are via OLD...and the quality is bottom of the barrel.

[Robert Z]

This thread got way out of hand, I kind of skimmed over last 30 pages....so "off topic":

 

I met a guy on the weekend that looked around 30 to me.

 

Why? I was once engaged to a woman almost 8 years older than me. We broke it off at the last minute but that had nothing to do with age. One of my best friends is married to a woman about 8 years old than him and they have been married for over 25 years.

 

He, btw, has one the best marriages I've ever seen.

[ThaWholigan]

This thread got way out of hand, I kind of skimmed over last 30 pages....so "off topic":

 

I met a guy on the weekend that looked around 30 to me. I just assumed we are roughly the same age and I didn't ask (I usually do when a guy looks really young). Anyway, he added me on Facebook and I found out that he is actually 24... - that's way too young even for me. Sadly, that's what approaches me when I go out. It seems like men my age all have wife and kids already. The only ones I meet are via OLD...and the quality is bottom of the barrel.

That's a funny twist there .

 

I think if you're using strict age requirements it can make things a little difficult, but I imagine you feel it will be difficult to relate to a younger man or an older one.

 

All I can say is to stick it out. Sometimes it will feel like a thankless task but you never know who that guy is that will measure up. And they might be 24 or 42!

[Robert Z]

I think this is the real problem with the women who resent men who date younger women.

 

You are afraid to earn the respect of men. Your power has been taken away and you are afraid to compete for a man's attention. If you have to win a man over, show respect, be kind, and be sexually giving, rather than just wiggling your ass and being chased, you give up and get mad.

 

 

There is a dating site for people in their 50s running a commercial where an older woman says in a very snobby voice, "I meet men who are actually interested in dating a woman their own age" or something similar. Every time I see that commercial, her attitude is what turns me off. She seems like someone I would date right up until she opens her mouth and fires off with her crappy attitude.

[Woggle]

I think this is the real problem with the women who resent men who date younger women.

 

You are afraid to earn the respect of men. Your power has been taken away and you are afraid to compete for a man's attention. If you have to win a man over, show respect, be kind, and be sexually giving, rather than just wiggling your ass and being chased, you give up and get mad.

 

 

.

 

I don't think this describes the OP but yes this does happen. Despite the stereotypes it takes a lot more than looks to get a quality man interested. Looks alone simply doesn't cut it.

[Robert Z]

I will tell you, it takes a lot of dedication for an older man to chase younger women. I work my ass off. I diet hard and work out even harder. My entire life has been modified to accommodate women. And I am always at risk of being labeled a dirty old man if I approach someone the wrong way. You never know which women might be okay with an older man and which ones are going to be insulted because you even dare to try. It is a constant game patience and tact. It takes thick skin. And it can be draining... exhausting!

 

Never once have I ever observed any woman trying as hard to win a man over... ever! If a reasonably good looking woman who is a good match worked a fraction as hard to get my attention, I would definitely be interested.

Edited April 21, 2014 by Robert Z

[RedRobin]

I You never know which women might be okay with an older man and which ones are going to be insulted because you even dare to try.

 

Oh come on. You are not a little kid. You know darned well which ones won't... But someone told you "the worst that will happen is they say no"

 

It is this attitude I have had to deal with my whole life from older men. I am not giving them any come hither vibes or any reason to believe their romantic attention is wanted.

 

I could excuse that behavior from a younger man... But not an older one who should know better than to toss something out there to see what he can get away with.

[Radu]

It's great to see that at page 33 you guys are still arguing.

 

 

Special flowers.

Edited April 21, 2014 by Radu

[thefooloftheyear]

Its quite funny how many of the women ASSume that its the guys that do all of the "hitting on" and "pursuing".....

 

TFY

[Keenly]

Its quite funny how many of the women ASSume that its the guys that do all of the "hitting on" and "pursuing".....

 

TFY

 

I brought that up too and no one seemed to want to address that.

 

 

I figured the go to defense would be " oh, well there is something damaged about these women. "

[RonaldS]

These guys who go after younger women are going after the malleable and naïve. The ones who haven't figured out how to sort out the reformed 'bad boys' or players. I mean, those guys weren't celibate all those years. How many younger women are going to ask the tough questions?? Lots don't. That's why they are targets. Just like that article that Kathy posted awhile back. Those men look to younger women like the resident mail-order brides

 

That's why it's convenient to paint with a broad brush. Less work.

 

I'm not quite as old as maybe the guys that ES is talking about, but I'm right at the 40 mark. For the most part, the women I hang out with/date are between 25-30. Why? Because I can, I guess. And beyond that, because I want to.

 

Some of it's physical, although I had a little thing with a woman who is a year older than me, and physically, she is right there with any 25 year old out there.

 

The issue that I have with dating in my age range is that generally speaking, there are 2 categories of women: divorced w/kids, and never married/no kids. I'm fine with the divorced w/kids crowd, but they always seem to want something very serious, which I don't. Then, when it's never married/no kids....I don't know. It's just that we've typically lived in two different worlds, and they still want to have that wedding, and the kids, and all that other stuff.

 

Now, if I go out with a 28 or 29 year old woman, she probably wants that stuff, too, but she still might have time to just lightly date and not be super serious. A 40 year old woman in that same position is getting down to the last few seconds before the bomb explodes. It can seem very desperate, and I'm simply a means to an end for that woman.

 

I would rather date 10-15 years younger than me....not because the women are naive. They're typically not. It's just that there's a different energy, it's a little more loose, fun and not as much emphasis on reaching a specific relationship goal.

[Anela]

I think this is the real problem with the women who resent men who date younger women.

 

You are afraid to earn the respect of men. Your power has been taken away and you are afraid to compete for a man's attention. If you have to win a man over, show respect, be kind, and be sexually giving, rather than just wiggling your ass and being chased, you give up and get mad.

 

 

There is a dating site for people in their 50s running a commercial where an older woman says in a very snobby voice, "I meet men who are actually interested in dating a woman their own age" or something similar. Every time I see that commercial, her attitude is what turns me off. She seems like someone I would date right up until she opens her mouth and fires off with her crappy attitude.

 

WRONG.

 

I never "wiggled my ass" to attract attention. It's been my kindness, warmth, etc, that tended to have men like me in the first place, although I was reminded repeatedly by others who didn't know me, that I had a "nice little figure". I wouldn't want someone who only wanted me for that figure.

 

Stop it. Just stop it.

[Anela]

Its quite funny how many of the women ASSume that its the guys that do all of the "hitting on" and "pursuing".....

 

TFY

 

It's funny how many men around here, keep threads like this fueled with comments like this, and then call women "drama queens" and "bitter".

 

I only came back in here, because I thought ES had her thread back on track. This is off-topic.

[Robert Z]

Rather than going to the gym and eating well, my sister decided to get liposuction done. Why? Because she's too lazy to work off her fat belly. It was the easy way out.

[mario_C]

No one brought up cultural differences. I'm Italian, mostly - my father is native Italian, so I'm Italian with some Slovak and German - and it's encouraged for us culturally to grow older gracefully and with style. Same with Latinos, our neighbors in geography and spirit.

[Babolat]

I had 2 more dates with my "same age" OLD woman this weekend. I am 47, she is 49. So far everything is going well. I'm not sure how much of us getting along I can attribute to age. I did have a thought this weekend that in the past 8 months I have been with a woman 20 years younger than her. She is a youthful 49 though in looks, attitude, spirit, energy, activity level, etc. Other woman I have met who are her age I cannot say the same thing about. Same for men my age.

 

We went to an outdoor festival and then had dinner with my male best friend, who is 42, and his wife who is 40...is that TOO young for us older folks? Do I have to reconsider my younger friends now, too?

[thefooloftheyear]

It's funny how many men around here, keep threads like this fueled with comments like this, and then call women "drama queens" and "bitter".

 

I only came back in here, because I thought ES had her thread back on track. This is off-topic.

 

If we didnt, it would only be some one sided bullshyt that just is Fantasyland stuff...So people with real life experience come in to clear up the nonsense...Just accept it and move on..

 

Ive never called anyone anything as you mention..I even added a ...because quite frankly it just cracks me up...It doesnt affect anything in my life and I dont give a flying fck...Just something do do while I am on hold..

 

TFY

[readynow]

Wow, we're still at it?

 

Aren't 'older men' human too? How does dating anyone of any (legal) age be creepy? If you are hit on by an older man and you're not interested, all you need do is turn him down, isn't it? Just like you would turn down a younger guy or someone not attractive enough for you, or someone not of your preferred body type.

 

What makes an older man who approaches a mature woman a bad person? I just don't get it.

 

Like I said, i'm with an older man and I have no daddy issues - I grew up with my mom and dad and still see them every weekend. I have dated lots - get approached lots by people that want different from me so, no, i'm not desperate.

 

I just happen to have grown up with friends 'older' than myself and feel more comfortable in a relationship with an older man.

 

I'm not broke either, I have a good job, own my own little house, drive my own big car and have had my child so no bio-clock ticking.

 

I just said all that to say it is disgraceful for someone in this day and age to think because they would never do something, then every other person who does is wrong and has something wrong with them. I'll never get it and I thank God that I have no friend or family that think that way.

[RedRobin]

There are women out there that prefer older men, because they like it. I know that seems like blasphemy to you, but you can't make everyone the same.

 

 

Very few, and not the best ones. But keep believing that if you like. Especially if believing that keeps you complacent.

 

 

There are lots of men who have cats later in life too, lol.

[RedRobin]

He is not saying women want older men out of fear. You are missing the whole point.

 

 

Sure he is...

 

 

He's saying that women have a hard time finding someone close to their age when they are looking to settle down, so they settle for the old guys. That's exactly what he said.... and I agree. Those women ARE settling.

 

 

Except he did it with the neener-neener tone... and another heaping dose of preconceptions about what women are doing in their 20's and 30's...

 

 

Same old LS garbage we've heard a million times.