Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[xxoo]

No argument...Thats why those super fit 50 year old babes are probably shacking up with 35 year old guys..]

 

This is the most interesting point for me. As a fit, active, attractive woman over 40, the most desirable partner in my eyes is a fit, active man in his 40s. A younger man would not be a plus in my eyes. The fit guy my age is more "proven" in his lifestyle, if nothing else.

 

For the fit 40+ crowd that prefers younger over an equally fit and active age peer, why? What if that younger person lets it all go after 40?

[RedRobin]

This is the most interesting point for me. As a fit, active, attractive woman over 40, the most desirable partner in my eyes is a fit, active man in his 40s. A younger man would not be a plus in my eyes. The fit guy my age is more "proven" in his lifestyle, if nothing else.

 

For the fit 40+ crowd that prefers younger over an equally fit and active age peer, why? What if that younger person lets it all go after 40?

 

I don't believe most single men in that age group are thinking that far ahead. I mean, just trade her in for a younger model if he gets bored or she ages...

 

Look at the guys on this thread. Most aren't interested in a relationship and the ones who claim to have a gf aren't looking for marriage.

 

They just recycle, doncha know... I am sure that is not what they tell the ladies though...

Edited April 25, 2014 by RedRobin

[RedRobin]

As she juggles the idea of dating younger men.

 

 

I can't follow the bouncing ball either.

 

 

 

RR, less time worrying about what others are doing or what they prefer might make you less frustrated.

 

Except, it is NOT what OTHERS are doing. It is what me and lots of other women have to put up with on a regular basis.

 

... And your lazy ass thinks it is our job to tolerate it. And with a smile too.

 

I worry about what men like you 'prefer' because it has a direct impact on my life and the lives of lots of other women when done collectively.

 

... And the other men here who don't want to feel like predators or that they are taking advantage, well... The worst serial killers felt their victims asked for it too. Don't get me wrong. I am not calling you a serial killer.. But the same impulse that makes you believe for two seconds that you are actually good for a woman who is that much younger than you... Well it all comes from the same place in my book.

[Keenly]

Except, it is NOT what OTHERS are doing. It is what me and lots of other women have to put up with on a regular basis.

 

... And your lazy ass thinks it is our job to tolerate it. And with a smile too.

 

I worry about what men like you 'prefer' because it has a direct impact on my life and the lives of lots of other women when done collectively.

 

... And the other men here who don't want to feel like predators or that they are taking advantage, well... The worst serial killers felt their victims asked for it too. Don't get me wrong. I am not calling you a serial killer.. But the same impulse that makes you believe for two seconds that you are actually good for a woman who is that much younger than you... Well it all comes from the same place in my book.

 

I'm going to ignore that most of your post is actually false, and focus on two specific points.

 

 

First of all, you don't know what I'm like IRL , nor have you ever seen how I treat / interact with women, so to attack me on that is without merit, evidence, or reason.

 

 

Secondly, the one point I want to focus on, "I worry about what men like you prefer because it directly impacts my life "

 

 

 

Explain... please and by all means.

 

How does some ones personal preferences in dating directly impact you?

 

Because what I hear is a woman who selfishly proclaims that all men can only date women if she approves of the relationship. That two consenting adults are not actually free to choose their own partners.

 

 

So please.... elaborate for us.

[Woggle]

Except, it is NOT what OTHERS are doing. It is what me and lots of other women have to put up with on a regular basis.

 

... And your lazy ass thinks it is our job to tolerate it. And with a smile too.

 

I worry about what men like you 'prefer' because it has a direct impact on my life and the lives of lots of other women when done collectively.

 

... And the other men here who don't want to feel like predators or that they are taking advantage, well... The worst serial killers felt their victims asked for it too. Don't get me wrong. I am not calling you a serial killer.. But the same impulse that makes you believe for two seconds that you are actually good for a woman who is that much younger than you... Well it all comes from the same place in my book.

 

Are you seriously comparing a consensual relationship with an age gap to a serial killer? Seriously?

[Anela]

Are you seriously comparing a consensual relationship with an age gap to a serial killer? Seriously?

 

She said she WASN'T calling anyone a serial killer.

 

I'm going to ignore that most of your post is actually false, and focus on two specific points.

 

 

First of all, you don't know what I'm like IRL , nor have you ever seen how I treat / interact with women, so to attack me on that is without merit, evidence, or reason.

 

 

Secondly, the one point I want to focus on, "I worry about what men like you prefer because it directly impacts my life "

 

 

 

Explain... please and by all means.

 

How does some ones personal preferences in dating directly impact you?

 

Because what I hear is a woman who selfishly proclaims that all men can only date women if she approves of the relationship. That two consenting adults are not actually free to choose their own partners.

 

 

So please.... elaborate for us.

 

So, you'd rather goad her, and keep an argument going, rather than waiting to see whether or not she dates this younger man, and comes back with her own thoughts on the matter (if she goes)?

[Keenly]

She said she WASN'T calling anyone a serial killer.

 

 

 

So, you'd rather goad her, and keep an argument going, rather than waiting to see whether or not she dates this younger man, and comes back with her own thoughts on the matter (if she goes)?

 

Well I enjoy a good debate, even one loaded with personal attacks and veiled insults hurled in my direction.

 

 

I derive a great deal of pleasure in dissecting and hilighting the inconsistencies in an opposing argument.

[Under The Radar]

The poor OP is long gone.

 

 

Hopefully they are not in need of therapy resulting from this thread.

 

 

BTW, I'm typing this on my way to therapy ...... therapy I desperately need ...... resulting from this thread .

[Anela]

No, I never said that. I am getting sh.t because I said I might consider dating a man up to 10 years younger...

 

And ok, that maybe I should get on board with the 'everyone my own age is used up' train.

 

I mean, no one gives the guys crap when they say that. And when women do, they are called bitter hags.

 

WTF people. You can't see how effing sexist you are?

 

I notice that when the topic of younger men seeking out older women comes up, almost all of the responses will be that he's just looking for sex, and that a woman would be stupid to think that he could actually love her, or want a relationship with her beyond that. With the opposite, we get to hear how much younger women love older men, how wonderful they are, etc. That is sexist, and a typical double-standard.

 

I've been hearing of more younger man/older women couples, though. the most recent was the author of a blog, whose husband is ten years younger, they have children together, and are very happy.

[melodymatters]

I know they smooshed a bunch of threads together to make this one but I can't believe I'm not on here somewhere !

 

My late husband Micheal developed epilepsy AFTER we married and passed away 11 months later, I was 18 yrs older.

 

I didn't date for 2.5 yrs, then started dating guys my age again which is what I always had done previous to Mike. Casually dated a cheater a stalker and a flat out psycho when I said "Eff it, Ok I'll have a quickie romance with the much younger guy I work with who has a major crush on me and is a total sweetheart, but of course nothing serious will come out of it, it will be like losing my widowhood virginity".

 

...Going on nearly three yrs of seriously wedded BLISS !:love:

 

You never know who you are going to click with, it's sad to see people being SO judgmental about other peoples relationships !

[gaius]

How much older than you is your wife Woggle?

[Woggle]

How much older than you is your wife Woggle?

 

About 8 years but if you looked at her and talked to her you would think she was younger than me.

[RedRobin]

So reject them? As I'm sure you do?

 

Say no to every man you don't approve of, as that's what women are supposed to do, but don't demand the world conform to your ideals.

 

 

No, I'd prefer you men pull your heads out of your *ss for a change. It isn't our jobs to keep rejecting them.

 

 

It is THEIR job to respect us. It is YOUR job to respect women, if you are worth a damn.

 

 

But clearly, you are too lazy to do that. That's ok. You have lots in common with the other so-called men who are too lazy to check yourself, grow some self-awareness, and you know... other things that come along with being a decent human being.

 

 

Because we all know how important YOUR needs are. God forbid anything should get in the way of you getting your needs met. No. That might mean you are, GASP, responsible. Woah!!!

[thefooloftheyear]

This is the most interesting point for me. As a fit, active, attractive woman over 40, the most desirable partner in my eyes is a fit, active man in his 40s. A younger man would not be a plus in my eyes. The fit guy my age is more "proven" in his lifestyle, if nothing else.

 

For the fit 40+ crowd that prefers younger over an equally fit and active age peer, why? What if that younger person lets it all go after 40?

 

 

Thats great....And I agree with all of it...But at the end of the day, these are YOUR thoughts..

 

But ask yourself this question...Perhaps your idea of "fit" isnt mine...Or Joe Blow's down the street...That doesnt make it/me superior to you, so understand what I am saying..I meet a lot of people every day. Ive run into women who are in their mid 30's that have it all together and are what I would call "aligned" and I meet plenty of women my age who are imbeciles and arent...So the point is for you, you prefer what you want...For someone else, they might not...Who gives a crap?...Why limit oneself??

 

And ANYONE can get sick or "lets it all go"....There is always that possiblilty...no matter what the age...

 

All I ask is that why do middle aged women care and feel so strongly against this??...You dont hear any young women chirping about it(unless we are talking predators-again lets leave them out for the sake of this discussion because everyone knows its wrong...)....And you dont hear about men giving a crap if an old lady wants to dip her feet in the younger guy pool....

 

Why is it such a sore subject among middle aged women..???

***I know why, but no one wants to admit to it....****

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

What some women (including myself) are objecting to is men who portray middle aged women as being some undesirable, fat, inactive, unattractive people, while portraying middle aged men as hot, desirable, worldly, fit, active, yada, yada, which is clearly a double standard and not based in fact. I am trying to point out that men in the U.S. are more overweight (74% are overweight) compared to women (64% are overweight). I'm trying to dispel a myth that a lot of men seem to have who are delusional - that they are so desirable at middle age, and middle aged women are not. That is just a bunch of crap. That is my point in posting in this thread. And also that a lot of older men lie about their age in order to trick a younger woman into dating them.

 

Please quote one post in this entire thread where ANY guy is portraying middle aged women as "undesirable, fat, inactive, unattractive people?"

 

Or that guys are better and more desirable....

 

OK.....So now this is about the 10th time Ive challenged you to back up your comments with actual facts, and you havent done it a single time...

 

And please....women dont lie about their age, their weight, or their dress size? Heck, they invented that game......People lie....who cares...They are liars...

 

TFY

[jasper2]

What some women (including myself) are objecting to is men who portray middle aged women as being some undesirable, fat, inactive, unattractive people, while portraying middle aged men as hot, desirable, worldly, fit, active, yada, yada, which is clearly a double standard and not based in fact. I am trying to point out that men in the U.S. are more overweight (74% are overweight) compared to women (64% are overweight). I'm trying to dispel a myth that a lot of men seem to have who are delusional - that they are so desirable at middle age, and middle aged women are not. That is just a bunch of crap. That is my point in posting in this thread. And also that a lot of older men lie about their age in order to trick a younger woman into dating them.

Right but can a middle aged female reproduce like the younger female. What is the incentive for dating a middle aged woman. Now on the other foot a 23 year old gal who marries a rich 40 year old guy has a lot to gain its a win win scenario. However a 40 year old rich male who marries a 40 year old female, isn't in win win scenario.

[jasper2]

Because men devalue and reject women their own age, and they believe themselves to be somehow superior and entitled, and that women their own age are not worthy of them. Because this is a common practice for a lot of men (to pursue much younger women and think that women their own age are not worthy of them).

 

No one wants to be devalued and discriminated against just because they are middle aged. No one wants to be rejected by their same age peers as somehow being not worthy anymore. Why is that so hard to understand?

Women don't like the double standard that a lot of men practice when they get to be middle aged.

well its sexual reproduction most 20 year old can't afford a family it takes decades to accumulate the necessities needed for a family. Why would we waist it on a non reproductive female?

[thefooloftheyear]

Because men devalue and reject women their own age, and they believe themselves to be somehow superior and entitled, and that women their own age are not worthy of them. Because this is a common practice for a lot of men (to pursue much younger women and think that women their own age are not worthy of them).

 

No one wants to be devalued and discriminated against just because they are middle aged. No one wants to be rejected by their same age peers as somehow being not worthy anymore. Why is that so hard to understand?

Women don't like the double standard that a lot of men practice when they get to be middle aged.

 

But Kathy, dont you see what you are doing??

 

You are just immediately assuming a man that happens to meet a younger woman that he clicks with -that he is just crapping all over the women his own age by doing so...Id bet that the percentage of older guys involved with younger women that actively despise/reject women their own age is probably prohibitively small...

 

We just had a female poster mention how wonderful her life is with the younger man she married...A bunch of guys actually liked her post...I say great for her!!! If we were to use your logic..all the guys would be pouncing all over her and calling her an old tramp thats robbing the cradle....Nope..

 

Its the same stupid argunent insecure short guys use...They assume all women reject short guys because a particular woman might like a taller guy,....Its the most ridiculous thing in the world..

 

TFY

Edited April 26, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

[MidwestUSA]

Hopefully they are not in need of therapy resulting from this thread.

 

 

BTW, I'm typing this on my way to therapy ...... therapy I desperately need ...... resulting from this thread .

 

 

 

Guinness. It's therapy. Looks like I need to make another run.

[jasper2]

Because men devalue and reject women their own age, and they believe themselves to be somehow superior and entitled, and that women their own age are not worthy of them. Because this is a common practice for a lot of men (to pursue much younger women and think that women their own age are not worthy of them).

 

No one wants to be devalued and discriminated against just because they are middle aged. No one wants to be rejected by their same age peers as somehow being not worthy anymore. Why is that so hard to understand?

Women don't like the double standard that a lot of men practice when they get to be middle aged.

 

The above was a statement you made in a prior post, implying that the only reason middle aged women in California are attractive and fit is because they have personal trainers and have plastic surgery done, but that women in other parts of the country who don't are not attractive. That statement is devaluing of women who are middle aged, and generalizes all middle aged women as unattractive and unfit, unless they use plastic surgery and have personal trainers.

Kathy I am 41 every day for 23 years I've woke up at 3a.m to go work in oil industry. Saving every penny to buy a nest - huge home with a pool close a school which costs 650k. Not to mention an suv and furniture... Sorry but my fiancé whose barely above 20 demands it. KathyM is it too much to ask for a family?

[thefooloftheyear]

The above was a statement you made in a prior post, implying that the only reason middle aged women in California are attractive and fit is because they have personal trainers and have plastic surgery done, but that women in other parts of the country who don't are not attractive. That statement is devaluing of women who are middle aged, and generalizes all middle aged women as unattractive and unfit, unless they use plastic surgery and have personal trainers.

 

Are you effing kidding me???

 

How in God's name did you extrapolate that?... First of all I dont live in California...Its just an observation about what I see around me..In the county I live in, the women spend an inordinate amount of money on their appearance.A King's Ransom...And for a lot of them, they are getting their moneys worth I suppose...Have you ever seen the show " The Housewives of NJ?"

 

And I dont think ANY woman(or man) would argue that if they were 40/50 years old and had unlimited resources to do any improvement to themselves, didnt have to work 9-5(didnt have to work at all!), could spend hours in a gym/salon. wouldnt look way better than their contemporaries who cant..Its just common sense..*shrug*...

 

i really dont see how that is "generalizing that middle aged women are unfit and unattractive""

 

Cmon...

 

TFY

[MidwestUSA]

Kathy I am 41 every day for 23 years I've woke up at 3a.m to go work in oil industry. Saving every penny to buy a nest - huge home with a pool close a school which costs 650k. Not to mention an suv and furniture... Sorry but my fiancé whose barely above 20 demands it. KathyM is it too much to ask for a family?

 

 

 

Jasper, are you okay with the fact that your fiancé is so demanding? Of course it's not too much to want a family, as long as all parties are on the same page.

[xxoo]

Kathy I am 41 every day for 23 years I've woke up at 3a.m to go work in oil industry. Saving every penny to buy a nest - huge home with a pool close a school which costs 650k. Not to mention an suv and furniture... Sorry but my fiancé whose barely above 20 demands it. KathyM is it too much to ask for a family?

 

To clarify, is this the fiancé who you suspect of having worked as a prostitute?

[MidwestUSA]

To clarify, is this the fiancé who you suspect of having worked as a prostitute?

 

 

Ooops, missed that!

[Under The Radar]

Well, that little revelation will require quite a bit more alcohol ......

 

 

LOL