Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[RonaldS]

Like Barnes and Noble?

 

These guys are everywhere. Bookstores, oarks, Walmart etc. They are by no means confined to the internet.

 

You poor thing.

 

You're just a wounded gazelle wandering among the lions. You are a brave, brave woman.

[MidwestUSA]

Like Barnes and Noble?

 

These guys are everywhere. Bookstores, oarks, Walmart etc. They are by no means confined to the internet.

 

Well, you had to throw Walmart in there, LOL!

 

 

I've never looked for potential mates there. I do like to peruse the POW site.

[123321]

The leading agency in my country does however explicitly say that it is very hard for them to find men who want a woman +45, esp. one with a higher education (that makes me so sad, that being accomplished is apparently a bad thing). So I am afraid that if I would want to subscribe, the only men they would introduce me to would be 10 years or more older.

 

I can understand why this might be frustrating but you would be wrong to blame men for your situation. Good luck.

[hotpotato]

I don't talk like that at all. I pointed out that it goes both ways but doesn't traumatize me. I didn't say anything about how anybody else should handle it.

 

Yes, some older guys are aggressive and pervy. Nobody would ever argue that. But in the black-and-white line of thinking on display in this thread, some = all.

 

The point that I, TFY et al have been trying to make is that a portion of a population does not equal the entire population, or even close. Some of the women here sound like my idiot Tea Party relatives who post crap on Facebook all day about how stupid liberals are, yet nearly every sentence they post is filled with spelling and grammatical errors....not to mention just being dumb and lacking logic in general.

 

Generalizing is a shortcut to thinking, to paraphrase Jim Morrison. This thread is full of generalizations and terrible assumptions.

 

Who here said they were traumatized? Disgusted would be a better word with how I feel. Some people here may find this judgmental or whatever, but I dont want to have sex with someone as old as my grandfather.

 

A lot of older men are pervy. Show me a few who are different.

 

It would be silly of me not to generalize. If I didn't, I would continue to try to befriend older men, and they would continue to sexually harass me or make some kind of sexual advance. It would be illogical for me to treat an older man is if her weren't after sex, when really he probably is. It doesn't matter how old or unattractive he is, he still thinks he's gonna get some young poon.

 

In short, it works.

 

As a female, you kind of have to be like that, and sometime you have to be mean to men.

[hotpotato]

Well, you had to throw Walmart in there, LOL!

 

 

I've never looked for potential mates there. I do like to peruse the POW site.

 

I dont either, but they come at me.

The guy at Walmart came at me because he thought I was a child.

 

:sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:

[hotpotato]

You poor thing.

 

You're just a wounded gazelle wandering among the lions. You are a brave, brave woman.

 

It may be hard for some to believe, but these guys are everywhere. They are just usually more bold over the internet.

 

*Waiting for someone to say I bring it on myself by acting sexy and seductive at bookstores and parks*

[Emilia]

Yes, some older guys are aggressive and pervy. Nobody would ever argue that. But in the black-and-white line of thinking on display in this thread, some = all.

I think most people generalise to a degree. Imagine analysing every single situation on its merit every single minute of your life. You would never make a decision. Good people get judged sometimes wrongly but if they are truly good, they will prevail.

 

I think the issue for most of us with older men is that they behave differently because they are usually of a more traditional generation. And you know how old school worked out for women in the past.... Most of us prefer the present. That means often not including older men in it for that reason.

[thefooloftheyear]

It may be hard for some to believe, but these guys are everywhere. They are just usually more bold over the internet.

 

*Waiting for someone to say I bring it on myself by acting sexy and seductive at bookstores and parks*

 

I wont go that far...but I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are hordes of women(very attractive, no less), that do not share your experiences....

 

I have a bunch of female cousins that are all drop dead knockouts...I know for a fact that they dont get effed with by any creeps...There is a certain "it" about how they carry themselves...I cant describe it, its just one of those things you know when you see it..Not that they are unfriendly or anything, but they have this "imaginary shield" around them.....Ive seen that same attitude from my office manager..Maybe its something unique among Italian women??

 

TFY

[MidwestUSA]

It may be hard for some to believe, but these guys are everywhere. They are just usually more bold over the internet.

 

*Waiting for someone to say I bring it on myself by acting sexy and seductive at bookstores and parks*

 

Maybe they're just curious about your lipstick?

 

LOL, sorry, I had to throw in a light moment.

 

I don't have a clue why you've been unlucky. Hope things start to look up for you!

[RedRobin]

 

I am playing with the idea of a matrimonial agency because I don't mind paying some money if this can help me meet guys who are 100% available. The leading agency in my country does however explicitly say that it is very hard for them to find men who want a woman +45, esp. one with a higher education (that makes me so sad, that being accomplished is apparently a bad thing). So I am afraid that if I would want to subscribe, the only men they would introduce me to would be 10 years or more older. Than my money would be wasted because I'd rather be single than be with a much older guy. It would really feel like second choice.

 

So what if it is hard? That is what they are getting paid to do.

 

Multimillion dollar homes don't sell overnight... Don't be sad. Make them work for their friggin money!!

 

Or start your own matrimonial service that caters to a different clientele. A more hip one that doesn't go for gender stereotypes, for one.

 

Like they say... Out of adversity comes opportunity.

[Woggle]

So it's okay to generalize certain men but when men generalize certain woman in order to avoid being that divorced guy who just had the life sucked out of him we are misogynists? Aren't we just protecting ourselves as well.

 

I don't know why certain women in here are even looking for a man. Why pay all this money to certain services and all that when many of you don't even seem to like men? Just be single and happy and live as man free a life as possible.

[Keenly]

So it's okay to generalize certain men but when men generalize certain woman in order to avoid being that divorced guy who just had the life sucked out of him we are misogynists? Aren't we just protecting ourselves as well.

 

I don't know why certain women in here are even looking for a man. Why pay all this money to certain services and all that when many of you don't even seem to like men? Just be single and happy and live as man free a life as possible.

 

So far what I've learned from the thread is that these older men should completely change their preferences and change their behavior because rejecting them is awkward and inconvienent to them.

 

 

Basically because they don't like it, the other people should change.

[hotpotato]

I wont go that far...but I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are hordes of women(very attractive, no less), that do not share your experiences....

 

I have a bunch of female cousins that are all drop dead knockouts...I know for a fact that they dont get effed with by any creeps...There is a certain "it" about how they carry themselves...I cant describe it, its just one of those things you know when you see it..Not that they are unfriendly or anything, but they have this "imaginary shield" around them.....Ive seen that same attitude from my office manager..Maybe its something unique among Italian women??

 

TFY

 

The probkem is these guys mistake platonic interest for sexual interest plus think im single and desperate. Its a recipe for disaster.

 

Im meaner now. Big difference!

[Woggle]

So far what I've learned from the thread is that these older men should completely change their preferences and change their behavior because rejecting them is awkward and inconvienent to them.

 

 

Basically because they don't like it, the other people should change.

 

But in other threads men should always do the approaching because men are the hunters but we should magically know if a woman will be interested or not.

[hotpotato]

So far what I've learned from the thread is that these older men should completely change their preferences and change their behavior because rejecting them is awkward and inconvienent to them.

 

 

Basically because they don't like it, the other people should change.

 

They can have their preferences, but they should realize they are not realistic except for rich men. It should be obvious young (er) women are not attracted to them.

[hotpotato]

But in other threads men should always do the approaching because men are the hunters but we should magically know if a woman will be interested or not.

Well if shes 20something and hes 50, 60, 70, it should be obvious she is not interested.

[Keenly]

They can have their preferences, but they should realize they are not realistic except for rich men. It should be obvious young (er) women are not attracted to them.

 

Are we arguing in circles again?

 

I'll say it again, some younger women LIKE older men. Therefore, sometimes it works, and if it works, why stop?

 

 

If 9 out if 10 reject, and the 1 accepts, you still win.

[123321]

It doesn't matter how old or unattractive he is, he still thinks he's gonna get some young poon.

 

In short, it works.

 

Likely the same reason the men are doing what they are doing. Love it, and if "it works", why is it an ongoing issue?

 

 

But in other threads men should always do the approaching because men are the hunters but we should magically know if a woman will be interested or not.

 

Well yes, didn't you get the memo?

 

 

Well if shes 20something and hes 50, 60, 70, it should be obvious she is not interested.

 

Why?

[Woggle]

Despite what some on this thread say there are women who choose to get involved with a man that is older. Nobody forces them and it is not because of money or anything like that. The same thing with young men that get involved with older women. Stop treating people like children who don't know what they are getting into. I know smart and educated women who make good money and don't tolerate being mistreated that are with men who happen to be older. They know exactly what they are doing.

[hotpotato]

Likely the same reason the men are doing what they are doing. Love it, and if "it works", why is it an ongoing issue?

 

Well yes, didn't you get the memo?

 

Why?

 

 

Seriously? How often do you see 20 something women with elderly men, save the Anna Nicoles of the world dating rich ones? It does not work for the average man.

[Keenly]

Seriously? How often do you see 20 something women with elderly men, save the Anna Nicoles of the world dating rich ones? It does not work for the average man.

 

I don't know them personally but I know of a 27 with a 41. She is a chemical engineer and he owns a very large, very popular broadcasting company on the west coast.

[Woggle]

Seriously? How often do you see 20 something women with elderly men, save the Anna Nicoles of the world dating rich ones? It does not work for the average man.

 

My workplace does business with a woman that is 32 years old and recently married a 43 year old man. I can tell you right it is not about money because they make about the same amount and she is brilliant. She is the type that would dump a guy on the spot for cheating on her or mistreating her but she met this guy and they fell in love. She brought him to a company function and it is obvious they are in love. I dare anybody to tell her she is just a naive victim selling herself short.

[hotpotato]

Despite what some on this thread say there are women who choose to get involved with a man that is older. Nobody forces them and it is not because of money or anything like that. The same thing with young men that get involved with older women. Stop treating people like children who don't know what they are getting into. I know smart and educated women who make good money and don't tolerate being mistreated that are with men who happen to be older. They know exactly what they are doing.

I suppose that woman is dating Donald Stirling because if his six pack?

Therein lies the problem. The average fat middle aged and elderly man sees the Hugh Hefners of the world and believe the women are sexually attracted to Hugh. If they want to date him, of course, it is their choice, but ifs probably not because of sexual attraction at this point.

 

Ive dated older men. My ex was almost 20 years older. I liked that he was my type, but honestly, the money was a big perk. I used to talk to a guy who was about 25 years older, but he was really, really physically attractive and he made good money. He was very far from the average 45 year old specimen. Average older guy thinks he can swoon a hot young thang no matter what he looks like or his earning potential.

[hotpotato]

My workplace does business with a woman that is 32 years old and recently married a 43 year old man. I can tell you right it is not about money because they make about the same amount and she is brilliant. She is the type that would dump a guy on the spot for cheating on her or mistreating her but she met this guy and they fell in love. She brought him to a company function and it is obvious they are in love. I dare anybody to tell her she is just a naive victim selling herself short.

 

Eleven years isnt that bad, and 43 isnt elderly. I came talking about 20somethings and men 50 and older, and you brought an example of two people who are over 30 and fairly close in age.

[hotpotato]

I don't know them personally but I know of a 27 with a 41. She is a chemical engineer and he owns a very large, very popular broadcasting company on the west coast.

 

41 isnt elderly. She still didnt beat me. My ex was almost 20 years older.