Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[Babolat]

It goes back to my 'fear of aging' theory. After all, you have to prove it to yourself first.

 

The 29 year old girl I was with use to talk about being old! I was speechless and had no idea how to respond to her. She was afraid of turning 30, not in a relationship, not married, no kids. I would remind her she is in the prime of her life, enjoy it.

 

She is 5'8", maybe 115lbs wet, an awesome body, and talked about being a "fatty" too.

 

The 49 year old has not once talked about age, her body (other than to tell me her breasts were real as I must have dropped my jaw the first time I felt/saw them), or anything negative really for that matter.

[MidwestUSA]

What was I thinking?!?! Forget the women in their late 20s and 30s.

 

This sicko is on the prowl for those 90 year old world class hotties!

 

Eh, you could probably settle for 52.

 

 

(I am afraid of clowns. Is that a deal breaker?)

[RonaldS]

Actually, it IS my business because I have to deal with older and elderly men throwing themselves at me, stalking me, even approaching me because they think im a child...

 

So do a lot of other people. Men and women. You're not unique in that regard.

 

But you're right....that's an older man problem. A younger guy would never do those things. Or an older woman. Or a younger woman. Or a man the same age as you. Or a transvestite. Or a Pakistani man. Or a midget. Nope....just older perv men. Everybody else in the world is respectful.

 

Crap, you only have to spend 1/2 hour reading these forums to see the full catastrophe of delusion, perversion, depravity, desperation and lack of social/interpersonal awareness from every conceivable demographic.

 

I'm sorry that your Walmart shopping excursions are so horrifying. Did it ever occur to you that the issue isn't that old men are pervy, but that you're shopping at Walmart, which is universally considered a socio-economic sh*thole cesspool? Want proof? Geez....there are numerous websites and blogs dedicated to documenting all of the nasty, sleazy people who shop at Walmart. I don't know that such a site exists for Whole Foods.

 

I would bet if you were to drive the 2 hours over to Whole Foods, you would probably have a dramatically different experience with older men.

[thefooloftheyear]

I always thought that most moms had that terse discussion with their daughters when they were 12 or 13 years old...Thats what they did in my family and you never heard word one of any predatory men hanging around, trying to make hay with any of the young'ins...

 

Maybe those old coots were too afraid of the angry momma's.They did some serious damage with a wooden spoon!!..

 

TFY

[RedRobin]

I hope you won't hold it against a 47 year old if he rejects you because he doesn't want to celebrate your fiftieth. That's only fair.

 

I'm starting to think this whole thread has more to do with women (a couple of them here) not embracing aging gracefully.

 

3 years older is essentially the same age.

 

10 years is two trips through HS and halfway through college...

 

... It is a PhD, the post doc, and a good jump on tenure.

 

Can't compare them...

 

And yes, we all know men who won't date a woman even one year older. Not that I care. I don't want those men... Even if I am in their target age range.

[RonaldS]

But I think we can all agree that old pervs stalking women and older men and younger women dating are not te same thing, right?

 

Bringing stalking into the conversation is an attempt to draw a correlation between two unlike items in order to somehow substantiate the notion that older men are undesirable.

[Anela]

I hope you won't hold it against a 47 year old if he rejects you because he doesn't want to celebrate your fiftieth. That's only fair.

 

I'm starting to think this whole thread has more to do with women (a couple of them here) not embracing aging gracefully.

 

As I mentioned before, either in this thread or another one: I was surprised by the number of men who weren't/aren't aging gracefully. They needed to lie about their ages, and chase younger women. I loved 36, 37, but not 38 due to things going on in my life (the birthdays themselves). 39 was nice, too. I haven't lied about my age, and don't intend to.

[hotpotato]

So do a lot of other people. Men and women. You're not unique in that regard.

 

But you're right....that's an older man problem. A younger guy would never do those things. Or an older woman. Or a younger woman. Or a man the same age as you. Or a transvestite. Or a Pakistani man. Or a midget. Nope....just older perv men. Everybody else in the world is respectful.

 

Crap, you only have to spend 1/2 hour reading these forums to see the full catastrophe of delusion, perversion, depravity, desperation and lack of social/interpersonal awareness from every conceivable demographic.

 

I'm sorry that your Walmart shopping excursions are so horrifying. Did it ever occur to you that the issue isn't that old men are pervy, but that you're shopping at Walmart, which is universally considered a socio-economic sh*thole cesspool? Want proof? Geez....there are numerous websites and blogs dedicated to documenting all of the nasty, sleazy people who shop at Walmart. I don't know that such a site exists for Whole Foods.

 

I would bet if you were to drive the 2 hours over to Whole Foods, you would probably have a dramatically different experience with older men.

 

NOLA (where Whole Foods is) is actually filled with older guys trying to score young girls. So no, I highly doubt it would be different. How about parks and bookstores? Are those cesspools,too? Where's a girl to go?

I have this same problem with every single older man, no matter how old. What does that say about them?

I never said a younger man wouldn't do that, I just said older men were more aggressive and they overestimate their attractiveness by far.

[hotpotato]

We have been over this. Say no and move on, instead of attempting behavior control.

 

 

Its not your business what a man does with his life. I don't know where you think you have this right to tell some one how to live because you might have to say no thanks to some one every now and then.

I'm sorry that being hit on is SUCH an inconvienence for you. The horror....

 

It is when he stalking me, ogling me, won't stop asking if I want sex. It IS my business.

[GorillaTheater]

I have this same problem with every single older man, no matter how old.

 

Every single one, eh?

 

I guess that's the price of elegance.

[123321]

I have this same problem with every single older man, no matter how old. What does that say about them?

 

Ok, so now I have to be honest and flat out say that I doubt your veracity.

 

Every older man you see in life hits on you to the point where it's unendurable ... not buying it. Every place you go is full of older men and they are all constantly hitting on young women?

 

You are either lying, or mistaken, or should find a better place to live.

[MidwestUSA]

Ok, so now I have to be honest and flat out say that I doubt your veracity.

 

Every older man you see in life hits on you to the point where it's unendurable ... not buying it. Every place you go is full of older men and they are all constantly hitting on young women?

 

You are either lying, or mistaken, or should find a better place to live.

 

Or stand up tall, look the other way, and keep on walking. Not difficult.

[hotpotato]

When you have lived in truly liberal cities, NOLA doesn't seem very liberal. Relatively speaking it is, because the South is SOOOO conservative.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to prove older guys are hot. I'm attempting to disprove the position of many in this thread that older guys are not desireable. You are not one of the primary offenders, so it's not really directed at you. This thread is 400 pages long, and a lot of it is people like RedRobin saying that a 25 year old woman going out with a 40 year old man is doing herself a disservice because she's getting nothing in return and the 40 year old guy is not desireable by comparison to a guy 10-15 years younger.

 

Look, I went back to school a couple years ago. I was in an education program, which meant every class was me, 4 or 5 other guys, and then a ton of women/girls. If I wanted to hang out with 21 or 22 year old girls, I could have cleaned up. If was too easy. I never bothered to date any of them, although I did have a few that would meet up with me at coffee shops to work on projects (even though we never actually worked on the projects while we were there).

 

So, maybe I would have one girl as a partner on a project, and then some other girls would ask her if we were hooking up, and then I would have these other girls sweating me to hang out, or asking me if I wanted to get together to work on projects or study, and I would always end up with these girls' #s, and invariably they would text me while drunk and confess their attraction or whatever. It was hilarious.

 

And these were young girls...21, 22...too young for me. Pretty, intelligent, on a path to success in life.

 

So, I must not be that undesirable.

 

Well, how is las vegas? Liberal enough? I didn't see any old fogeys with hot young women. However, I did have some people try to recruit me into the swinger lifestyle.

 

If you are attracting women that young, you are probably much more attractive or/and charismatic than most men your age. That doesn't mean every guy or even most guys your age are going to be that attractive.

 

For example, I can say something similar. I can attract guys about 10 years young, but I'm in much better shape than most women my age. I might be desirable to younger men, but that doesn't mean 18 year old guys in general find almost 30 year old women desirable.

[hotpotato]

Ok, so now I have to be honest and flat out say that I doubt your veracity.

 

Every older man you see in life hits on you to the point where it's unendurable ... not buying it. Every place you go is full of older men and they are all constantly hitting on young women?

 

You are either lying, or mistaken, or should find a better place to live.

 

Yes, every time I've tried to be friendly with one, he ended up asking if I wanted to f (usually in a nicer way though). I guess they think because I talked to them once or twice or maybe smiled at them, that I was sexually available again to them.

 

Nowadays I just dont talk to a man or anything like that unless I'm sexually interested in him. I have to do this even if he's 70.

 

My grandfather is one of those men. He's 74 and will hit on anything and anyone even if she's only 18. I feel bad for them because they are not in a position to tell them to f off since he bothers them while they work, Now dementia is setting in, so things are going to get worse.

[WasOtherWoman]

Yes, every time I've tried to be friendly with one, he ended up asking if I wanted to f (usually in a nicer way though). I guess they think because I talked to them once or twice or maybe smiled at them, that I was sexually available again to them.

 

 

I am afraid that the above says much more about you than it does about the men. You are the common denominator of these conversations

[hotpotato]

Or stand up tall, look the other way, and keep on walking. Not difficult.

 

How about if he's park next to you, has figured out your schedule, literally chases you?I would turn around, ignore him, but he would literally chase me. It was to the point where he was accusing me of doing things to him which were impossible. I'm surprised he never tried to follow me home.

[Keenly]

I guess we are demonizing an entire genders age demographic based on the poor actions of a small handful of individuals.

[Keenly]

How about if he's park next to you, has figured out your schedule, literally chases you?I would turn around, ignore him, but he would literally chase me. It was to the point where he was accusing me of doing things to him which were impossible. I'm surprised he never tried to follow me home.

 

Call the police .....?

[hotpotato]

I am afraid that the above says much more about you than it does about the men. You are the common denominator of these conversations

 

I knew it was come. I must be seducing these old dudes! I must be sipping my latte with some extra sex appeal! Didn't I say it would be blamed on me eventually?

Maybe I should wear burlap sack when I go to exercise in 95 degree weather.

[hotpotato]

Call the police .....?

 

Filing a report is not quite that easy. You have to build up a case. It's kind of complicated because it's a public park.

[Keenly]

I knew it was come. I must be seducing these old dudes! I must be sipping my latte with some extra sex appeal! Didn't I say it would be blamed on me eventually?

Maybe I should wear burlap sack when I go to exercise in 95 degree weather.

 

Stop being desirable and men will stop hitting on you. I have a feeling that would make you sad though, as it does most women when it eventually happens.

[Keenly]

Filing a report is not quite that easy. You have to build up a case. It's kind of complicated because it's a public park.

 

So other than being a creep, he isn't doing anything wrong... interesting.

[hotpotato]

Stop being desirable and men will stop hitting on you. I have a feeling that would make you sad though, as it does most women when it eventually happens.

 

Well, no. I plan to be hot for at least the next 20 years.

[WasOtherWoman]

I knew it was come. I must be seducing these old dudes! I must be sipping my latte with some extra sex appeal! Didn't I say it would be blamed on me eventually?

Maybe I should wear burlap sack when I go to exercise in 95 degree weather.

 

Maybe look at it this way... if EVERY older man with whom you come in contact inquires as to whether or not you would like to be intimate with him, you might seriously just take a look at yourself.

 

Years ago I had a friend that used to complain that men always told her dirty jokes. She wanted to know why this never happened to me. Sounds like the same story here...

[GorillaTheater]

I guess we are demonizing an entire genders age demographic based on the poor actions of a small handful of individuals.

 

I know. It's been literally days since I last chased a young woman down the street, asking her repeatedly to have sex with me.

 

And it's not like it was just me. There were a horde of us chasing her at the same time. A horde of dessicated husks, shambling after a whiff of elegance ...

 

Short story idea. brb.