Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[RedRobin]

Wasting your time by asking you on a date? Ummm … just say "no." It takes less than a minute.

 

 

If I know their history in advance, of course I don't go out with them. If I come across them online, I don't date them either.

 

 

Not sure why you are so insistent that women older than you provide men with these preferences a good time. That's more old guys for you, isn't it?

 

 

Oh wait. Maybe you think women older than you are supposed to provide these guys sex while they are getting to know you and vice versa? Is that it? Nah. I'll pass. lol. It's all on you, GF.

[Untouched]

Not sure why you are so insistent that women older than you provide men with these preferences a good time.

 

???? where did I say that? I'm pretty sure you don't provide anybody with a good time no matter how old they are!

 

 

That's more old guys for you, isn't it?

 

That is the root of your issue I believe. You are mad because the middle aged men you meet would prefer to go out with women who are not the same age as they are. I bet there are a lot of men who will prefer to date a middle aged woman. She would have to be a woman they liked though.

 

 

Oh wait. Maybe you think women older than you are supposed to provide these guys sex while they are getting to know you and vice versa? Is that it? Nah. I'll pass. lol. It's all on you, GF.

 

What are you TALKING ABOUT? You seem to be a hysterical person.

 

Nobody should be "providing" sex for other people, they should be having sex together because they both want to have sex with each other. That is my plan anyway and I am sticking to it! Now, and when I'm old, it does not matter.

[RedRobin]

That is the root of your issue I believe. You are mad because the middle aged men you meet would prefer to go out with women who are not the same age as they are. I bet there are a lot of men who will prefer to date a middle aged woman. She would have to be a woman they liked though.

 

 

No, my issue is getting hit on by much older men... and my issue is actually giving a damn about younger women who get preyed on by those men.

 

and as far as dating goes... Who says I'm talking about middle aged men? I'm talking about any man who wastes my time when they have other preferences. Oh, that's right. Middle aged is 35+ to you. Ok.

 

Nobody should be "providing" sex for other people, they should be having sex together because they both want to have sex with each other. That is my plan anyway and I am sticking to it! Now, and when I'm old, it does not matter.

Hey, I agree with you!! That's not how men with those preferences see it though.

 

 

Like I said before. You don't sound like someone with the background you claim to have. Not at all. Something is fishy.

Edited May 19, 2014 by RedRobin

[Haydn]

Ok, what if i had a history but fell hard for you? Would you still show the door to me? Or accept that i wanted to be with you. Or judge me solely on my past? Just playing devils advocate.

[RedRobin]

Ok, what if i had a history but fell hard for you? Would you still show the door to me? Or accept that i wanted to be with you. Or judge me solely on my past? Just playing devils advocate.

 

 

I'm not a fan of outliers. That should be pretty obvious.

[Haydn]

What is an outlier?

 

 

I'm not a fan of outliers. That should be pretty obvious.

[Keenly]

Ok, what if i had a history but fell hard for you? Would you still show the door to me? Or accept that i wanted to be with you. Or judge me solely on my past? Just playing devils advocate.

 

She would throw you out faster than yesterday's garbage.

 

It wouldn't matter if you were nursing a baby lamb in one arm while rescuing a box of kittens from a burning building and simultaneously balancing your check book while giving an interview about helping the poor.

[Smilecharmer]

This is a live and let live situation. Just because you wouldn't do something doesn't mean it is any of your business if others do. Young women will learn what they need to from their own experiences, not from lectures anyway.

[Haydn]

Ive done all these things apart from the lamb.

 

 

Outlier - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, This was the only thing i could find.

 

 

 

She would throw you out faster than yesterday's garbage.

 

It wouldn't matter if you were nursing a baby lamb in one arm while rescuing a box of kittens from a burning building and simultaneously balancing your check book while giving an interview about helping the poor.

[RedRobin]

What is an outlier?

 

 

In statistical terms:

 

Outlier - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

 

if your history indicated otherwise, but you 'fell' for someone outside of that history, then that would make your situation an outlier.

 

 

I don't invest in outliers...

 

 

Edited: Beat me to it!

[Haydn]

Ok, i get it now. This is all very complicated.

 

In statistical terms:

 

Outlier - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

 

if your history indicated otherwise, but you 'fell' for someone outside of that history, then that would make your situation an outlier.

 

 

I don't invest in outliers...

 

 

Edited: Beat me to it!

[RedRobin]

She would throw you out faster than yesterday's garbage.

 

It wouldn't matter if you were nursing a baby lamb in one arm while rescuing a box of kittens from a burning building and simultaneously balancing your check book while giving an interview about helping the poor.

 

 

... and while surfing... don't forget surfing...

 

This is a live and let live situation. Just because you wouldn't do something doesn't mean it is any of your business if others do. Young women will learn what they need to from their own experiences, not from lectures anyway.

 

 

I don't know about that. They should be given the benefit of making a decision with as much information as possible. Then if things go wrong, at least they can't say they weren't warned.

 

 

Lots of young or inexperienced women aren't warned. That's the problem. They can ignore the advice all they want.

[RedRobin]

Ok, i get it now. This is all very complicated.

 

 

Not really. I don't have all of my life savings tied up in the stock market either, nor do I play the lottery.

 

 

Those too rely on the outlier condition being successful.

[Haydn]

I see. I have actually being trying to work mine out now.

[Smilecharmer]

... and while surfing... don't forget surfing...

 

 

 

 

I don't know about that. They should be given the benefit of making a decision with as much information as possible. Then if things go wrong, at least they can't say they weren't warned.

 

 

Lots of young or inexperienced women aren't warned. That's the problem. They can ignore the advice all they want.

 

Opinion isn't really information. There are people whose opinion is that marriage is a waste of time and resources, greatly benefitting females, and I don't consider that information, just their opinion, same as older men and younger women. Some May/December romances can even claim to have had success for various reasons. Fact is something that is universally accepted. Opinions are your truths based in your experiences and observations. The negatives are your axiom, but that isn't universally and absolutely accepted as proof. Therefore, this is a lesson a woman must learn on her own or reject based on positive experiences she may have had that you didn't. It is subjective, IMHO.

[RedRobin]

Opinion isn't really information. There are people whose opinion is that marriage is a waste of time and resources, greatly benefitting females, and I don't consider that information, just their opinion, same as older men and younger women. Some May/December romances can even claim to have had success for various reasons. Fact is something that is universally accepted. Opinions are your truths based in your experiences and observations. The negatives are your axiom, but that isn't universally and absolutely accepted as proof. Therefore, this is a lesson a woman must learn on her own or reject based on positive experiences she may have had that you didn't. It is subjective, IMHO.

 

 

Lots of information has been posted on this thread previously. Any success of May/December romances are strictly outliers. Doesn't mean they aren't valid. Just means they are rare.

 

 

People naturally want to believe that the 'norm' doesn't apply to them though. Human nature I guess. Everyone wants to believe they are the exception. Young and inexperienced people especially. Which is why they make great targets for those who would take advantage.

Edited May 19, 2014 by RedRobin

[Haydn]

My RS began in May. She is 7 years older. I have known her for quite a while. I hope to be an exception.

 

Lots of information has been posted on this thread previously. Any success of May/December romances are strictly outliers. Doesn't mean they aren't valid. Just means they are rare.

 

 

People naturally want to believe that the 'norm' doesn't apply to them though. Human nature I guess. Everyone wants to believe they are the exception. Young and inexperienced people especially. Which is why they make great targets for those who would take advantage.

[Smilecharmer]

Lots of information has been posted on this thread previously. Any success of May/December romances are strictly outliers. Doesn't mean they aren't valid. Just means they are rare.

 

 

People naturally want to believe that the 'norm' doesn't apply to them though. Human nature I guess. Everyone wants to believe they are the exception. Young and inexperienced people especially. Which is why they make great targets for those who would take advantage.

 

 

I certainly agree with the posit that everyone wants to believe they are the exception. I wish I could have told myself a few things in my youth, but I doubt I would have had the life experience to absorb it. I never wanted old men but I did stay in situations for way too long that weren't especially good for me. Much happier in my thirties than in my teens and twenties...knowledge has much to do with that. We learn we don't have to completely rely on our human nature to make decisions, but can use our wisdom hard earned and awkwardly learned.

[RedRobin]

My RS began in May. She is 7 years older. I have known her for quite a while. I hope to be an exception.

 

 

You are both in your 30's. I wouldn't call that a May/December romance.

Edited May 19, 2014 by RedRobin

[Haydn]

Ok, i have really missed something then. 32 she is 39. I have kids she does not. I want to be the exception.

 

 

You are both in your 30's. I wouldn't call that a May/December romance.

[gaius]

Ok, i have really missed something then. 32 she is 39. I have kids she does not. I want to be the exception.

So does Red apparently. Not many same age relationships end up being forever anymore either.

[joystickd]

One of my biggest issues with feminism. They pick and choose the things they want to be equal with men on and the things they want to keep support aspect of what they call the patriarchy. This being one of them even. We all can look at the countless number of young women that have used older men. Donald Sterling is a prime example. He got a younger women she got what she wanted and wanted more. The crazy thing is more than likely she ruined his public image because she couldn't get more. She is a grown a$$ woman and is fully aware of what's going on.

None of the women that are so against older men/younger women have addressed this issue. Probably because it goes against the whole men being predatory notion. Women can be predatory too, but these women will never say it because then they can't take the victim role of being women that are manipulated a valued remnant of a male dominated society that they want to keep going. They will never get that as women that want to be seen as equals that this whole notion of men being predators is insulting to women because it basically assumes they are easily influenced and not able to make independent decisions in regards to dating/relationship. If one can't do that then they can't make decisions in other aspects of their everyday life. If it's like that then based on what these women are implying is that women are inferior to men indirectly.

 

Honestly if I were a woman I would be pissed at RR and Kathy M. These two women basically imply women lack the autonomy to properly make decisions because of the predatory male.

 

Funny thing about is that lifestyle coaches exist to teach women to find sugar daddies. Prime example this https://thesugardaddyformula.com/about/

Numerous books exist on the subject more than about older men finding younger women. I could find right now a bunch of books on the subject, but no woman will ever check women on this bad behavior. They just raise hell on PUA or any male dating/relationship material that is not what they think men should do. Using people and manipulation is wrong whether it's man or woman. It's too bad these women lack the maturity to understand that.

[Untouched]

I think it's funny that there is some kind of negative spin on the idea of people who are living good lives "outside the box." Outliers?

 

I think I prefer people who are not so cookie - cutter. I have had enough of that.

[KathyM]

I've made no gender distinction in this thread, and have stated the same reservations about large age gaps regardless of which gender is the older one. In fact, one of my posts mentions older women who seduce their teenage students. I've said the same issues are going to be present whether the man is the older one or the woman is.

[RedRobin]

I think it's funny that there is some kind of negative spin on the idea of people who are living good lives "outside the box." Outliers?

 

I think I prefer people who are not so cookie - cutter. I have had enough of that.

 

 

 

There are certainly lots of ways to be unconventional. I get it that lots of people in their 20's and younger do lots to try and prove their parents wrong, or society wrong, or whatever. Doing lots of experimenting. That's pretty common.

 

 

Then maybe later figure out, hey, maybe there was a reason for all that after all. Lucky for me, my parents didn't shelter me from a young age. They stopped hiring babysitters for us when I was 10. I am the oldest. We had our summers to go and explore everything. All they told us was come home before the streetlights went out. And they told us very clearly what the consequences were for certain behaviors (we discovered some new ones without their input too)... while still letting us know they'd always be there for us. So maybe I didn't have to go through that rebellion phase. That might explain a lot.

 

 

If dating a guy old enough to be your dad is part of your rebellion phase, then hey, I guess it is better than shooting up heroine or some other risky behavior. In fact, if anyone cares to read your other thread, I told you that if you need to get this virginity thing out of the way, he was just as good as any. *shrug*. You are the one who wants to read more into what I'm telling you than what I'm actually telling you.

Edited May 20, 2014 by RedRobin