Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[RedRobin]

Ok, i have really missed something then. 32 she is 39. I have kids she does not. I want to be the exception.

 

 

I don't think your situation is all that uncommon. Maybe for you it is. Or maybe for her it is.

 

 

I wouldn't consider either of you 'outliers'.

 

 

For the sake of discussion, +/-10 years is where the numbers start to dwindle.

 

 

Most marriages are between people +/- 4 or 5. I mean, for those seeking marriage. For those not seeking marriage or even a LTR, pretty much anything else goes.

[hotpotato]

So does Red apparently. Not many same age relationships end up being forever anymore either.

 

Very true. My longest relationship was with a man who was nearly 20 years my senior. I can't get past a couple of months with guys my own age.

 

I would even say the older guy was the one. Yes, he brought out FOO issues, but he was like my mom not my bad.We become Juan Antonio and Mary Elena from

. The last guy I dated was a lot like him, just younger-tall, skinny, dorky. I may go visit my ex and stay in his house, so our lives will be even more like the movies lol.

[joystickd]

I've made no gender distinction in this thread, and have stated the same reservations about large age gaps regardless of which gender is the older one. In fact, one of my posts mentions older women who seduce their teenage students. I've said the same issues are going to be present whether the man is the older one or the woman is.

 

Actually you have

[joystickd]

None of the women that are so against older men/younger women have addressed this issue. Probably because it goes against the whole men being predatory notion. Women can be predatory too, but these women will never say it because then they can't take the victim role of being women that are manipulated a valued remnant of a male dominated society that they want to keep going. They will never get that as women that want to be seen as equals that this whole notion of men being predators is insulting to women because it basically assumes they are easily influenced and not able to make independent decisions in regards to dating/relationship. If one can't do that then they can't make decisions in other aspects of their everyday life. If it's like that then based on what these women are implying is that women are inferior to men indirectly.

 

Honestly if I were a woman I would be pissed at RR and Kathy M. These two women basically imply women lack the autonomy to properly make decisions because of the predatory male.

 

Funny thing about is that lifestyle coaches exist to teach women to find sugar daddies. Prime example this https://thesugardaddyformula.com/about/

Numerous books exist on the subject more than about older men finding younger women. I could find right now a bunch of books on the subject, but no woman will ever check women on this bad behavior. They just raise hell on PUA or any male dating/relationship material that is not what they think men should do. Using people and manipulation is wrong whether it's man or woman. It's too bad these women lack the maturity to understand that.

You gonna address that RR

[RedRobin]

You gonna address that RR

 

 

If you want to start a gold digger thread be my guest.

[joystickd]

If you want to start a gold digger thread be my guest.

 

Love to avoid when it talks about women. Read whole thing it's not about golddiggers

[RedRobin]

Love to avoid when it talks about women. Read whole thing it's not about golddiggers

 

 

I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm not in favor of large age gap relationships no matter what the gender, for all of the reasons I've said before.

 

 

KathyM has said the same thing.

[joystickd]

I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm not in favor of large age gap relationships no matter what the gender, for all of the reasons I've said before.

 

 

KathyM has said the same thing.

 

No you both didnt. Actually you both talked crap about men being dysfunctional for wanting younger women

[RedRobin]

No you both didnt. Actually you both talked crap about men being dysfunctional for wanting younger women

 

 

They are. Dysfunctional. As well as the younger one who wants them.

 

 

I'm pretty sure she'd say the same for women who wanted much younger men.

 

Happy now?

 

 

That's probably why I don't go for much younger men, even though I've had the chance many times... the same reason I don't go for older men. I want a fully functioning, developmentally normal partner.

Edited May 20, 2014 by RedRobin

[joystickd]

They are. Dysfunctional. As well as the younger one who wants them.

 

 

I'm pretty sure she'd say the same for women who wanted much younger men.

 

Happy now?

 

 

That's probably why I don't go for much younger men, even though I've had the chance many times... the same reason I don't go for older men. I want a fully functioning, developmentally normal partner.

 

So attraction is either functional or dysfunctional and anyone interested in an adult 10+ younger or older displays deviant behavior?

[sillyanswer]

I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm not in favor of large age gap relationships no matter what the gender, for all of the reasons I've said before.

 

I thought you were encouraging such a relationship only half a thread ago (page 56). The man was younger in that case. Thanks for clarifying, though.

[Keenly]

I'm going to go out a limb and say the only dysfunction I'm witnessing is the desire to control the behavior of others because their views are the inverse of your own.

[RedRobin]

I'm going to go out a limb and say the only dysfunction I'm witnessing is the desire to control the behavior of others because their views are the inverse of your own.

 

 

Well, perhaps I should copy the above statement and put it in the other thread where the woman is having sex with her kid's 20 year old friend from high school.

[RedRobin]

I thought you were encouraging such a relationship only half a thread ago (page 56). The man was younger in that case. Thanks for clarifying, though.

 

 

I believe the age gap in that situation was either around 10 years or less. Plus, ES isn't looking to get married.

 

 

I told Untouched to go ahead and eff that older guy too, if she just needed to get that virginity thing out of the way.

 

 

My advice is pretty consistent in that respect. Go ahead if you just GOT to, just don't commit to them.

[sillyanswer]

I believe the age gap in that situation was either around 10 years or less. Plus, ES isn't looking to get married.

 

 

I told Untouched to go ahead and eff that older guy too, if she just needed to get that virginity thing out of the way.

 

 

My advice is pretty consistent in that respect. Go ahead if you just GOT to, just don't commit to them.

 

So it's okay if the older person isn't looking to get married, or the younger person doesn't want to commit? I thought you were taking quite a hard line on this, but I see I've misread your posts.

[joystickd]

I believe the age gap in that situation was either around 10 years or less. Plus, ES isn't looking to get married.

 

 

I told Untouched to go ahead and eff that older guy too, if she just needed to get that virginity thing out of the way.

 

 

My advice is pretty consistent in that respect. Go ahead if you just GOT to, just don't commit to them.

 

So it's ok to use the guy for sex?

[RedRobin]

So it's ok to use the guy for sex?

 

 

No. But if there is any 'using' to be done, at least it is short term with minimal consequences.

 

 

As you know, I'm not a fan of casual sex either.

 

 

Besides, aren't you one of those guys who believe that it's impossible for a guy to be used for sex? The 'hook' the woman with sex good and early so she puts up with your cr*p and your history after the fact and you get to be the decider guy?

 

 

... or maybe I'm confusing you with someone else...

Edited May 20, 2014 by RedRobin

[123321]

My advice is pretty consistent in that respect. Go ahead if you just GOT to, just don't commit to them.

 

It's almost always the woman pushing for commitment anyway.

[KathyM]

Actually you have

Show it. I may have talked about men who prey on young women, but I've also discussed older women who prey on young men.

 

There are certainly younger men who take advantage of much older rich women, trying to romance them and convince them they have feelings for the woman, only to rip her off and run with the money at the first opportunity. Donald Sterling's mistress is certainly an example of younger women taking advantage of much older men.

Edited May 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[joystickd]

No. But if there is any 'using' to be done, at least it is short term with minimal consequences.

 

 

As you know, I'm not a fan of casual sex either.

 

 

Besides, aren't you one of those guys who believe that it's impossible for a guy to be used for sex? The 'hook' the woman with sex good and early so she puts up with your cr*p and your history after the fact and you get to be the decider guy?

 

 

... or maybe I'm confusing you with someone else...

 

Well you said use him for sex. I guess it's cool for a woman to do anything but not for a man. In previous threads you mentioned about older women and younger men now you after what I said now say it's dysfunctional. I take it you flip flop

[Babolat]

I'm going to go out a limb .

 

I'm going to go out on a limb, saw it off, so I can fall and kill myself! This thread has become a disaster. Why are you guys debating people who cannot have a healthy debate?

[hotpotato]

Very true. My longest relationship was with a man who was nearly 20 years my senior. I can't get past a couple of months with guys my own age.

 

I would even say the older guy was the one. Yes, he brought out FOO issues, but he was like my mom not my bad.We become Juan Antonio and Mary Elena from

. The last guy I dated was a lot like him, just younger-tall, skinny, dorky. I may go visit my ex and stay in his house, so our lives will be even more like the movies lol.

So much for trying to get back on topic!

[joystickd]

I'm going to go out on a limb, saw it off, so I can fall and kill myself! This thread has become a disaster. Why are you guys debating people who cannot have a healthy debate?

 

It's funny. Anyway people should be free to be with whoever they want. These women are more judgmental than the men they whine about that talk about sluts

[Untouched]

There are certainly lots of ways to be unconventional. I get it that lots of people in their 20's and younger do lots to try and prove their parents wrong, or society wrong, or whatever. Doing lots of experimenting. That's pretty common.

 

 

 

 

If dating a guy old enough to be your dad is part of your rebellion phase, then hey, I guess it is better than shooting up heroine or some other risky behavior.

 

You know, it is impossible for a person to listen to you and believe you care about what happens to them when you won't stop projecting your own issues or whatever on what they are saying.

 

You are ASSUMING that what I do is "part of my rebellious stage." I will tell you that I am NOT in a rebellious stage. I am def experimenting and living my own life. I will probably be an "outlier" as you call them all my life because I hope I never stop experimenting and exploring new things until I die.

 

If I think they are bad for me like drugs, I am not going to experiment with them.

 

If I find out something is bad for me by experience I will not try it again.

 

I also have common sense to help me.

 

By the way, you harp on how society condones older men + younger women relationships, A LOT. If society condones it and you condemn it then I think you are a dreaded OUTLIER. Yikes!

[janedoe67]

If dating a guy old enough to be your dad is part of your rebellion phase, then hey, I guess it is better than shooting up heroine or some other risky behavior.

 

You can't convince me that anyone with this attitude actually cares about other women. This is just a way to spin out some kind of unhealthily fed anger.