Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[Tayken]

Yeah, I can see there is something older men have that might attract young women.

 

Read the comments. Some are hilarious!

 

Don't mean to be the voice of reason here...but your comments works both ways.

 

However, I was taken aback my the 38 yr old freely telling us that he has dated a 19 yr old. I am in my 40s, and hardly date women in their 30s let alone 20s

[Tayken]

OMG!

 

The comments look indeed hilarious. Someone said that they both looked as if they has just been dug up .

 

 

The other side of the story

[RedRobin]

I was getting in some cross training last night at my gym. It has a cardio theater with a huge screen movie that plays while you work out. Last night it was "Transcendence" with Johnny Depp.

 

 

I'm pretty meh about Johnny Dep in general. but the biggest neg for the movie was their choice of casting for his wife. She is much younger than him... perhaps not young enough to be his daughter, but not far away.

 

 

I checked IMDB, and she is 19 years younger than him.

 

 

It really took away from the story. Had a very hard time taking her character seriously throughout the whole movie. And his too. The deeper meaning in the movie was totally lost. This pretty much happens whenever I see these ridiculous pairings in movies. Unless the movie is about their ridiculousness, of course. She was completely unconvincing... up to and including the short skirt and red dress they put her in for a serious presentation to a room of world-class scientific academics. I work with those people. No effing way they wear that.

 

 

I didn't choose this movie to watch. The gym did. I wouldn't choose a movie with that kind of casting. Getting tired of watching supposedly serious, dramatic movies with 50+ year old men and twenty or early 30 something women.

 

 

it is lame depictions of 'serious' relationships like this in movies and media that makes these really implausible pairings seem 'normal' to some people.

 

 

The day before, they played Spiderman 2, which had an age appropriate pairing. but they couldn't help but put Emma Stone in a super short mini-skirt for her interview with Oxford University. Seriously? Oxford? No way. WTF. This kind of thing so pisses me off. Why the movie people think that is appropriate, I'll never know. It's like, ooo! she's smart AND sexy. Duh.

 

 

I'm pretty sure the Oxford folks in real life wouldn't appreciate that display. OTOH, they did show the young lead male character taking his shirt off at one point. *shrug* Guess things are evening up in that respect.

[Emilia]

I was getting in some cross training last night at my gym. It has a cardio theater with a huge screen movie that plays while you work out. Last night it was "Transcendence" with Johnny Depp.

 

I'm pretty meh about Johnny Dep in general. but the biggest neg for the movie was their choice of casting for his wife. She is much younger than him... perhaps not young enough to be his daughter, but not far away.

 

I checked IMDB, and she is 19 years younger than him.

 

It really took away from the story.

Not really, it was an awful movie, one of the worst I have ever seen.

 

I didn't realise at all that she was much longer, they looked roughly the same on the screen. He looks pretty well kept together for his age. It didn't even occur to me to check how old she was, I think they looked perfectly fine.

[RedRobin]

Not really, it was an awful movie, one of the worst I have ever seen.

 

I didn't realise at all that she was much longer, they looked roughly the same on the screen. He looks pretty well kept together for his age. It didn't even occur to me to check how old she was, I think they looked perfectly fine.

 

He looks like a 50 year old who takes care of himself. They lit him darkly and in the shadows. Half the movie he was just an image on a computer screen. They lit her a lot more brightly. There are a couple of shots it really stands out. Anyway, I am not ragging on him so much as their choice of whom to put next to him. She is not a serious choice to put across someone with his credentials and interests (in the movie). She comes across as a prop. But, as you pointed out, it wasn't the best movie anyway... Likely for a lot of the same reasons they made a bad choice in casting.

 

Just remembered a lame movie that tom cruise was in where he tried to pass himself off as a rock star. Sure, he hasn't grown a gut and takes care of himself, but lots of people do in Hollywood. He looks 50 no matter how much he works out.

 

The fact that they keep putting out movies with these aging men surrounded by youngsters is what I find annoying and not even realistic. It's like these male directors, writers, etc are all of one hive mind. I don't expect them to ride off into the sunset with their dentu creme or anything... But let's stop pretending they are in their 'prime' for chrissakes.

[SummerDreams]

You have spent more time here talking about her age and breast size than her qualities as a person. That, and the 'watching her grow up' thing.... Um, yea. Doesn't scream authentic care and compatibility to me. It screams a need for validation by others.

 

I know it's like 20 days since this post but I just read it, so I want to comment on SD's situation, without the intent to offend him or anything. After spending much time reading his posts and trying to understand his psychology (I think I'm pretty good at it), I think SD has fallen in a trap that doesn't allow him to see things straight. The trap was that he happened to have a first gf who was young and this will haunt him for a long time. In his mind he has "I did it once, why can't I do it again?". If his first gf was a woman his age or closer to it, he wouldn't have an obsession with young women. I've been with younger men twice in my life (I mean 10 years younger) and hell did I enjoy it! I know it's a different and refreshing feeling, the innocence, the thirst for experiences, the young skin, the non stop desire for sex etc. But life goes on and you have to keep up with your age and the needs that come with it. SD wants to have all experiences he has missed in one: a young woman that he'll enjoy and after some time he'll turn this relationship into a serious one, most probably marriage. But SD needs to understand that the fact that he used to have a much younger girl for 6 months in the past doesn't give him a guarantee that he will achieve this again. Only after this realization will he focus on more important things like graduating, getting a job, making new friends and through this procedure find a nice gf.

 

I know that my words will probably do nothing to him, but I just wanted to let them out. It's really simple for me to understand people, even through the internet.

[thefooloftheyear]

I dont have any compunction for young girls...Im a chronologically mature individual...No doubt..But all Ill say is this...

 

Even though I am almost 50 and happily fairly short...I have been an athlete all my life and have a body better than 99% of guys my age and most guys half my age...Have all my hair and teeth, dont drink, smoke, do drugs and have no physical issues..None..Want to do a 10 mile hike on a a nice saturday afternoon? great-lets go....Kayak the Delaware...awesome,,etc...What I "lost" out on the height gene, I more than made up with the physique gene..Good for me. I suppose...

 

If I rejected most of the women my age due to physical incompatibilities(there aren't really many women my age at the same level physically-i...I haven't really seen any around here anyway), id probably get slammed by all women as being too shallow or superficial...but I am not looking for something I cant come to the table with...sooo??

 

So now what do guys like me(or women) do, if they want to find someone with the same/similar body type? Just keep looking for the "needle in a haystack" outlier? Or just forget about it and pick from the younger crowd..??

 

That might be a tough deal..or maybe ill just eat a few pizzas and make this easier....

 

TFY

[MidwestUSA]

 

(there aren't really many women my age at the same level physically-i...I haven't really seen any around here anyway)

 

TFY

 

Hehehehehehehe!

 

 

[RedRobin]

I dont have any compunction for young girls...Im a chronologically mature individual...No doubt..But all Ill say is this...

 

Even though I am almost 50 and happily fairly short...I have been an athlete all my life and have a body better than 99% of guys my age and most guys half my age...Have all my hair and teeth, dont drink, smoke, do drugs and have no physical issues..None..Want to do a 10 mile hike on a a nice saturday afternoon? great-lets go....Kayak the Delaware...awesome,,etc...What I "lost" out on the height gene, I more than made up with the physique gene..Good for me. I suppose...

 

If I rejected most of the women my age due to physical incompatibilities(there aren't really many women my age at the same level physically-i...I haven't really seen any around here anyway), id probably get slammed by all women as being too shallow or superficial...but I am not looking for something I cant come to the table with...sooo??

 

So now what do guys like me(or women) do, if they want to find someone with the same/similar body type? Just keep looking for the "needle in a haystack" outlier? Or just forget about it and pick from the younger crowd..??

 

That might be a tough deal..or maybe ill just eat a few pizzas and make this easier....

 

TFY

 

 

Problem in the US is that half of the population is overweight and don't take care of themselves. So, there is no guarantee that going younger will get someone who is compatible with them activity-wise.

 

 

If you want to meet women close® to your age who are very active, I'd try a local running, biking, hiking, or triathlon group. Around here, there are a couple of good ones. In the summer here, there is a trail running series where they have a potluck BBQ afterwards. Lots of opportunities to meet similarly minded people. The thing is, those outlets don't work quick enough for a lot of people. The trick is to find ways to expand one's social circle. Even that can be tough though. So, I get it.

[Robert Z]

I dont have any compunction for young girls...Im a chronologically mature individual...

 

 

I am convinced that the idea that maturity makes such a big difference is largely a fallacy in that it varies greatly from person to person. A young woman can be leaps and bounds more mature and together than... her mother, for example. And intelligence plays a big role here. It can be more important than maturity.

 

 

Also, what some people consider mature, I call dead.

[thefooloftheyear]

Problem in the US is that half of the population is overweight and don't take care of themselves. So, there is no guarantee that going younger will get someone who is compatible with them activity-wise.

 

 

If you want to meet women close® to your age who are very active, I'd try a local running, biking, hiking, or triathlon group. Around here, there are a couple of good ones. In the summer here, there is a trail running series where they have a potluck BBQ afterwards. Lots of opportunities to meet similarly minded people. The thing is, those outlets don't work quick enough for a lot of people. The trick is to find ways to expand one's social circle. Even that can be tough though. So, I get it.

'

 

Yeah, true..

 

 

I think about the things I like to do...Like for one I have a 250cc dirt bike(motorcycle) that I trailer up to a friends property in PA and go nuts with a couple of other guys that are young enough to be my kids...An hour of this I am covered in mud, My arms feel like a wet noodles, and my kidneys ache so bad like I went 10 rounds with the heavyweight champ...But its so much damned FUN...Now, imagine telling a typical 48 year old woman-who likes to have a quiet dinner in a restaurant and maybe a casual stroll on a boardwalk,- thats what we have planned for the day???

 

I guess the part that is hard, is that its so hard to just find someone that you get along with on an emotional level, then you have to pick from the few left that are as nuts as you are about this other stuff...

 

TFY

[Weezy1973]

He looks like a 50 year old who takes care of himself. They lit him darkly and in the shadows. Half the movie he was just an image on a computer screen. They lit her a lot more brightly. There are a couple of shots it really stands out. Anyway, I am not ragging on him so much as their choice of whom to put next to him. She is not a serious choice to put across someone with his credentials and interests (in the movie). She comes across as a prop. But, as you pointed out, it wasn't the best movie anyway... Likely for a lot of the same reasons they made a bad choice in casting.

 

Just remembered a lame movie that tom cruise was in where he tried to pass himself off as a rock star. Sure, he hasn't grown a gut and takes care of himself, but lots of people do in Hollywood. He looks 50 no matter how much he works out.

 

The fact that they keep putting out movies with these aging men surrounded by youngsters is what I find annoying and not even realistic. It's like these male directors, writers, etc are all of one hive mind. I don't expect them to ride off into the sunset with their dentu creme or anything... But let's stop pretending they are in their 'prime' for chrissakes.

 

There is, without a doubt, a terrible double standard in Hollywood. The real issue is that the media has a profound influence on people. There was a study done recently that showed that women that watched a lot of romantic comedies had a lower opinion of their partner / relationship than those that didn't.

 

I can imagine that men watch these movies and mistakenly think that they too can find a young woman to form a relationship with - how wrong they are! If it's any solace - the average age differential in marriages is approximately 3.5 years. Large age gap marriages are by far the exception to the rule.

[Priv]

'

 

 

I think about the things I like to do...Like for one I have a 250cc dirt bike(motorcycle) that I trailer up to a friends property in PA and go nuts with a couple of other guys that are young enough to be my kids...

 

TFY

 

Awesome. I ride a street triple-r but a friend of mine has some older KTM enduros that we sometimes take out for a spin in the dunes (illegally, but I have never said that ). There is nothing like it.

 

 

Anyway, totally off topic but I am curious. When did you feel like you were getting older? 31 now, but in no way I feel like that physically.

[thefooloftheyear]

Awesome. I ride a street triple-r but a friend of mine has some older KTM enduros that we sometimes take out for a spin in the dunes (illegally, but I have never said that ). There is nothing like it.

 

 

Anyway, totally off topic but I am curious. When did you feel like you were getting older? 31 now, but in no way I feel like that physically.[/QUOTE]

 

When I couldnt sleep through the night without getting up to take a leak...

 

But seriously, I havent yet....

 

I am kinda lucky....and btw, for all of the guys that think it sucks to be short, I think a lot of the reason I have stayed "young" is because of the fact that I am pretty short..All my taller buddies my age have had to have knee replacements, hip replacements, have bad backs, etc..I havent had any of these problems..Plus, I never succumbed to male pattern baldness or anything like that, although I am getting close to the point where I might need a set of reading glasses..

 

I do take very good care of myself..I dont have any vices, eat a very strict diet and train like an animal..And I have no facial wrinkles(thanks mom!)...And everything works as it should without help..

 

All that said, Im realistic...All of this can go south quick, if my health gives out I am sure I will not be able to maintain what I have now..But I am a fighter, and wont go out without a solid battle...

 

 

A lot of it is mental..People just do as the other sheep do their own age...I dont buy into that ***** and never will..

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

There is, without a doubt, a terrible double standard in Hollywood. The real issue is that the media has a profound influence on people. There was a study done recently that showed that women that watched a lot of romantic comedies had a lower opinion of their partner / relationship than those that didn't.

 

I can imagine that men watch these movies and mistakenly think that they too can find a young woman to form a relationship with - how wrong they are! If it's any solace - the average age differential in marriages is approximately 3.5 years. Large age gap marriages are by far the exception to the rule.

 

 

I get what you are saying but disagree that its hard for men to get a younger woman...It isnt...Just about ANY middle aged guy that really takes good care of himself will find plenty of much younger women willing to take that on..If he is wealthy-then he doesnt really even have to be all that great looking or in shape...Sure, they might be gold diggers, but they'll wear that proudly while they drive off in the Benz , dont have to work, and get 200 dollar weekly facials..

 

Its not for me, but it aint that hard..

 

TFY

[xxoo]

For every 50 year old guy claiming women his age can't keep up, there's a 50 year old woman claiming that the men her age can't keep up. Right here on LS, I read both all the time.

 

Something doesn't add up.

 

I'm happy to be a 40 something couple who skateboards, together, with our kids

[Tayken]

For every 50 year old guy claiming women his age can't keep up, there's a 50 year old woman claiming that the men her age can't keep up. Right here on LS, I read both all the time.

 

Something doesn't add up.

 

I'm happy to be a 40 something couple who skateboards, together, with our kids

 

 

Couples that do things together, stay together. That is a why I need to find myself a runner woman (read: not a jogger)

[somedude81]

I know it's like 20 days since this post but I just read it, so I want to comment on SD's situation, without the intent to offend him or anything. After spending much time reading his posts and trying to understand his psychology (I think I'm pretty good at it), I think SD has fallen in a trap that doesn't allow him to see things straight. The trap was that he happened to have a first gf who was young and this will haunt him for a long time. In his mind he has "I did it once, why can't I do it again?". If his first gf was a woman his age or closer to it, he wouldn't have an obsession with young women. I've been with younger men twice in my life (I mean 10 years younger) and hell did I enjoy it! I know it's a different and refreshing feeling, the innocence, the thirst for experiences, the young skin, the non stop desire for sex etc. But life goes on and you have to keep up with your age and the needs that come with it. SD wants to have all experiences he has missed in one: a young woman that he'll enjoy and after some time he'll turn this relationship into a serious one, most probably marriage. But SD needs to understand that the fact that he used to have a much younger girl for 6 months in the past doesn't give him a guarantee that he will achieve this again. Only after this realization will he focus on more important things like graduating, getting a job, making new friends and through this procedure find a nice gf.

 

I know that my words will probably do nothing to him, but I just wanted to let them out. It's really simple for me to understand people, even through the internet.

 

Hi SummerDreams,

 

It seems you do understand why I like dating younger women and the pluses that come with it. Though you didn't say anything about why I shouldn't or wouldn't be able to have another younger girlfriend.

 

What do you mean by the to keep up with my age and the needs that come with it?

 

I don't see why I can't be working in my career and have a 23 year old girlfriend.

[jay1983]

Awesome. I ride a street triple-r but a friend of mine has some older KTM enduros that we sometimes take out for a spin in the dunes (illegally, but I have never said that ). There is nothing like it.

 

 

Anyway, totally off topic but I am curious. When did you feel like you were getting older? 31 now, but in no way I feel like that physically.

 

I'm 31 too. I don't feel old and can still party and do everything I did 10 years ago. I'm just a lot lazier. lol

[somedude81]

Problem in the US is that half of the population is overweight and don't take care of themselves. So, there is no guarantee that going younger will get someone who is compatible with them activity-wise.

 

 

If you want to meet women close® to your age who are very active, I'd try a local running, biking, hiking, or triathlon group. Around here, there are a couple of good ones. In the summer here, there is a trail running series where they have a potluck BBQ afterwards. Lots of opportunities to meet similarly minded people. The thing is, those outlets don't work quick enough for a lot of people. The trick is to find ways to expand one's social circle. Even that can be tough though. So, I get it.

 

I'm pretty sure that fitness/weight and age are linearly correlated for both men and women.

 

It's pretty much a downward slope, the older somebody is, the less likely they'd' be in shape.

[Robert Z]

I get what you are saying but disagree that its hard for men to get a younger woman...It isnt...Just about ANY middle aged guy that really takes good care of himself will find plenty of much younger women willing to take that on...

 

LOL! Dream on. Okay, maybe much younger, but not much younger and hot. That almost always takes money.

 

 

This reminds of all of the middle-age guys I knew who took escorts out in public and pretended they were legitimate dates.

Edited September 21, 2014 by Robert Z

[Robert Z]

If that middle aged guy has a decent amount of money he can easily date/sleep with beautiful young women. I knew an old guy who used to pretend to be rich to get with young women and it worked like a charm.

 

 

I just said that it almost always takes money. I didn't say you have to be rich. I'm not rich but I've been sleeping with a 24 year old girl worthy of Playboy, for over two years [i'm 55]. And in many ways she is more mature than many woman my age.

 

But pretending will only get you one-night-stands or short venues. For quality time and a real connection it takes honesty and trust, just like any relationship. She knows all about my financial ups and downs.

Edited September 21, 2014 by Robert Z

[thefooloftheyear]

LOL! Dream on. Okay, maybe much younger, but not much younger and hot. That almost always takes money.

 

 

This reminds of all of the middle-age guys I knew who took escorts out in public and pretended they were legitimate dates.

 

Youre wrong...period and end of story,...and there are countless examples..

 

Just because you had to pay for it(and I am not knocking that-whatever floats your boat), doesnt mean other guys have to or need to......Id love for you to meet my buddy...he's 52...Dead broke...and short as well..But he's got a great physique and he's a "bad boy" type of guy...

 

Took him about 6 months after his divorce to find an absolutely smoking 30 year old...Oh, and she owns her own ad agency/PR firm..I dont know how much she makes, but probably a couple of hundred thou easily...Now they are married and have been for a couple of years..

 

Here is the best part...she doesnt run his credit card after they go out to dinner...

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

For every 50 year old guy claiming women his age can't keep up, there's a 50 year old woman claiming that the men her age can't keep up. Right here on LS, I read both all the time.

 

Something doesn't add up.

 

I'm happy to be a 40 something couple who skateboards, together, with our kids

 

 

Never said anything about anyone not being able to keep up....I guess its more of an issue in finding a person willing to do the types of things that might not be "age appropriate" for the particular person that doesnt just fall in line with the others his/her age..

 

I know nothing of OLD, but just from what I have learned here, there is absolutely no doubt that if I listed the types of things that I normally enjoy doing and try to find someone my own age that would be interested in those things, then the pool all of a sudden gets very small...At the same time, if you took those same things and attached them to a guy that was, say 28 or 30 years old....then there are probably tons of women..

 

And I am sure if the roles were reversed, then its probably the same for a woman..

 

So if that man/woman wants to stay in their same age group, then they are going to have to pick from a very limited group of people...and hope all(or some) of the other areas of compatibility work out...

 

All of this is pure speculation on my part..Im not dating and have no idea what its like out there..If there are all kinds of 50 year old women with rock hard bodies and are heavily into athletics and adventure....then Ill gladly stand corrected....

 

TFY

[RedRobin]

Lots of women with daddy issues... And lots of men on the internet and elsewhere exaggerating the qualities of the younger woman... Simply because she is younger.

 

No intelligent, put together, emotionally healthy person commits to a person old enough to be their parent.... Which is why these movies annoy me. They give younger women (and older men) the idea that this is normal and something to aspire to...

 

There is something broken in these people. The problem with getting with a much older or younger person is that part stays broken as long as they are together...For both people.

Edited September 21, 2014 by RedRobin