Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[NJ123]

And I'm sick of men treating younger women as something they're entitled to, and treating us "older" women as something to be treated badly, and why? Because we don't look as good as we did ten or more years ago? Thanks a lot.

 

I've said before: I don't feel that old. You know what makes me feel old? Men my age! Those who "prefer someone younger" as though they're better than I am.

 

Your only 39, you're still really young.

[somedude81]

Studies have shown that a straight man will always find women in their mid-20s sexually attractive, whatever his age.

 

 

 

 

Why are men so obsessed with 24-year-old women? - Telegraph

 

Yeah, that's pretty much commonly accepted that most women look the best in their 20's.

 

That's why virtually all models, strippers and porn stars are in their 20's.

 

One of my favorite models is in her late 20's and she started working at around 21. As she's got older, her looks decline and she also gains weight. Her prime was around 25 years old.

[ComingInHot]

I feel so sad for older men who have become bitter and jaded by women their age for whatever reason and now feel they have to be mean to All women over 30 saying they are all ugly and let themselves go even though sometimes that isn't true...

 

I hope they find peace and if that is with young ladies so be it. I'd rather be around happy men and women regardless of age and appearance then angry old men who treat other women their own age poorly based on a bad past experience and their looks.

[gaius]

Yeah, that's pretty much commonly accepted that most women look the best in their 20's.

 

That's why virtually all models, strippers and porn stars are in their 20's.

 

One of my favorite models is in her late 20's and she started working at around 21. As she's got older, her looks decline and she also gains weight. Her prime was around 25 years old.

My favorite is 48. She looks better now than she did in her stuff from 10 years ago that I've seen.

[thefooloftheyear]

I feel so sad for older men who have become bitter and jaded by women their age for whatever reason and now feel they have to be mean to All women over 30 saying they are all ugly and let themselves go even though sometimes that isn't true...

 

I hope they find peace and if that is with young ladies so be it. I'd rather be around happy men and women regardless of age and appearance then angry old men who treat other women their own age poorly based on a bad past experience and their looks.

 

I dont think its so much about being bitter and jaded...For some, I suppose...But the guys I know who have gone younger did it because they could do it...And these werent creepy fat, old bald guys that have a few bucks and find some dopey young girl that hangs around to get her bills paid..In these cases these are desireable older guys that take care of themselves, look great, are in great shape, financially stable and are just wanting in a partner what they already offer...

 

Ive said it before.., I have no penchant for a younger woman, but looks/appearance aside, there are very few women my age who would really want to do the things I am into...If they are out there, great...But I am not seeing too many...And thats exactly how a friend of mine approached it...He is like me, and into a lot of the same things.-a bit older(early 50's)..He married a very attractive 30 year old..They have been together for quite some time now...

 

So I dont think Id do it, but I do see why some of the guys that are doing it go there...

 

YMMV

 

TFY

[MidwestUSA]

My favorite is 48. She looks better now than she did in her stuff from 10 years ago that I've seen.

 

Aw, thanks., but I'm 52. You must have me confused with someone else.

[gaius]

Aw, thanks., but I'm 52. You must have me confused with someone else.

I've been meaning to ask where I can get your latest DVD.

 

I just started hitting on a woman who's 31 years older. I'm not too far outside her age range but she hasn't logged in in a while so we'll see what happens.

[melodymatters]

Well, we just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary yesterday ( all weekend actually) ! We've gone through many things that might have broken the "perfect couple on paper" apart, but we love each other even more.

 

We are:

 

City/Country

Masters course work/GED

Theater producer/Contractor

Gourmet/fast food

47yrs/26yrs

5'0 ft/6'6 ft

95 lbs/ 225 lbs

Our incomes switch about but he currently makes more.

 

... And, the best friends in the world ! :love:

[FitChick]

Well, we just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary yesterday ( all weekend actually) ! We've gone through many things that might have broken the "perfect couple on paper" apart, but we love each other even more.

 

We are:

 

City/Country

Masters course work/GED

Theater producer/Contractor

Gourmet/fast food

47yrs/26yrs

5'0 ft/6'6 ft

95 lbs/ 225 lbs

Our incomes switch about but he currently makes more.

 

... And, the best friends in the world ! :love:

 

You should get a reality show. Seriously. Start shopping it.

 

Just curious -- for the astrologers among us -- what are your birthdates? I'd like to see what the attraction is.

[melodymatters]

I'm Sagittarius, he's Cancer, so even there : Fire and Water !

 

I also forgot to mention extrovert ( me) and Introvert ( him) so while I *might be up for that kind of thing, I think he would rather die !

 

This weekend some old friends were having an all day party. It was Anniversary weekend so we had a lot of plans, but I wanted to stop by and the mere thought gave him an anxiety attack. He dropped me off for a couple of hours and played his video game and I called when I had my "party fix" and was ready for dinner and a movie.

 

I really think it has a lot to do with the personalities involved : we are both so different BUT we both value the relationship and each other above EVERYTHING ! ( Plus, I'm one of those cool, confident "over 40's" chicks like in CominginHots thread, and he's Male 101 : "Just be nice to me, lets eat have sex and watch a movie and the last damn thing I want is a made up problem ")

[Darren2013]

I would think it is a little bit of a concern. My crush is about 20 years older than me. It is a little concern but not nearly as big of a concern as the other practical concerns I talked about before with working the same job. But as I said I will be changing jobs in about 6 months so at least that one factor will be out of the way by then and maybe sooner if it becomes a sure thing that she gets this new job at a hotel soon.

 

But back to the original topic. I suppose the biggest concern I am kind of keeping in the back of my mind is that dating or sleeping with an older woman means that she has far more life experience than I do. It is to be expected she has been around the block more with dating than I have. It is to be expected that she is better able to read people than I am.

 

If she is the type to play games with men then it is likely that I am not a match for her and probably will lose the game. Whatever games she is playing she is probably good at and has a much better handle on how to manipulate a man's mind. Setting my ego aside I would basically be dealing with a woman who is far more advanced in game playing. She probably does a better job of reading me and reading what's motivating my behavior and actions than I would be at reading her.

 

So those are some valid concerns. There may be others. As far as legalities are concerned it is perfectly legal for me a 34 year old to date a 55 year old.

[melodymatters]

Hello Darren ! Yes, it's perfectly legal AND socially acceptable for you two to date ! As for game playing, one of the best traits of older women is they don't BOTHER to play games. They know what they want and what they will put up with and will probably be the most straightforward partner you could have !

 

Caveat : I have dated men twice my husbands age who were far less mature or self aware, so it always depends on the person themselves. Any person at any age can be an azzhole, but you greatly decrease your odds that they are a GAME PLAYING azzhole if you date older. A poster here, CominginHot has a thread about this very subject, I don't know how to link it but I suggest you look it up.

 

Good luck, let us know how things turn out !

 

PS. MOST woman of any age are better at " reading" men than vice versa, there have been studies that show that, so you are "doomed" in that regard anyway, LOL !

Edited October 17, 2014 by melodymatters
added post script

[Darren2013]

Well I've known this particular woman for a long time and judging by her personality type she can be a little childish at times and blow hot and cold signals from one day to the next. Some of the signs point to the possibility that she is a female version of myself only she is older and probably far more advanced than I am with mind games when it comes to who is going to make a first move. She has mirrored alot of my behavior ever since I started crushing on her. If I avoid her she will avoid me back. We've caught each other playing the game of sneaking looks at each other when we think the other person isn't looking.

 

When she mirrors some of my behaviors it is kind of scary because it is like maybe that's her way of saying she knows why I am acting the way I am with going quiet on her and making every effort to not look at her and such. That's her way of saying she is reading me too well.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Darren2013

[FitChick]

This could be one reason younger men date older women.

[FitChick]

From the time he was eight years old, he was in love with her.

[loveflower]

just browse some online profiles ...this guy really caught my eyes...good looking, educated and athletic...and he does skiing and snowboarding which are my favorites...

 

guess what? his criteria is : age between 18 and 40, and he is age 37.

 

18...that's like half of his age. I suppose that is the true color of the majority of men? the younger the better, as long as it's legal?

 

actually, this seems the norm...just browsed this another guy: age 25-36, he is 36!

[d0nnivain]

Those guys just want a hot young thing. The lack of fundamental understand about the other based on being different generations rears up quickly.

[Popsicle]

I don't really see anything wrong with either gender going + or - 10 years in either direction.

[ScienceGal]

18 is too young, and it would be a huge turnoff for me. If a man in his late 30s is looking to connect with someone that young, he is just looking to get laid.

 

In my opinion, the older you get the less age differences matter. Everyone has their preference though. Based upon my relationship experience, I am more likely to date a man my age or older, than a younger man.

[newmoon]

i see them post that range a lot, the high 30s and 40s guys putting 18-X, and sometimes they stop at 30, even though they are 45+. i think they do it because they *feel* younger than they really are, or they think they look younger and can attract a gal that much younger. it says more about how they view themselves (unrealistically)

[loveflower]

I don't really see anything wrong with either gender going + or - 10 years in either direction.

 

you missed the point...the point is these guys only want women/girls who are younger or much younger than them, in fact the younger the better as long as over legal age.

[loveflower]

18 is too young, and it would be a huge turnoff for me. If a man in his late 30s is looking to connect with someone that young, he is just looking to get laid.

 

In my opinion, the older you get the less age differences matter. Everyone has their preference though. Based upon my relationship experience, I am more likely to date a man my age or older, than a younger man.

 

exactly. It's a turnoff for me as well.

[PaperCrane]

The real truth is biologically speaking males seek younger females because they are typically healthier and have a higher successful birth rates. They'll mate with as many as they can in any age range but when presented with options (OLD) they will go for the younger options.

 

QED

[stillafool]

The real truth is biologically speaking males seek younger females because they are typically healthier and have a higher successful birth rates. They'll mate with as many as they can in any age range but when presented with options (OLD) they will go for the younger options.

 

QED

 

I don't think these men are as impressed with the fertility of these young women as they are with their young firm assets. These men want young flesh!

[PaperCrane]

You just...proved my point.

 

Biologically (it's coded into our instincts that go beyond morals and social norms, mores, etc etc) they want that "young flesh" because it speaks to the fact that they're more likely to be healthy. Let's remember our sexual desires are something we don't have 100% control over and go back to basic reproduction. This is just nature doing it's thing when presenting a male with a plethora of 'options'. We are animals after all.

 

It's seriously nothing to get upset about.