circumstances are not good :(

[Dblock10]

iv'e posted in the breaking up section so if you are interested you can read my post there i am stuck between a rock and a hard place..

 

but basically, i have pretty deep feelings for this girl i met at uni and we were together for 7 months, but now we are going down different paths, she is travelling and i have 2 years left at university. we have basically broken up and she lives long distance from myself just now. we are still on speaking terms and she is willing to see me before she goes..

 

she will be gone for 6 months travelling the world. And staying together in these conditions is going to be so hard from what i can picture in my mind..

 

if i stay with her, i risk the arguments and insecurities and jealousy that will more than likely rear its ugly head (her experiencing all this amazing stuff whilst i miss her a lot and am stuck with studying), we will both be sad that we cant physically see each other, it will drag like mad.

 

or if we mutually agree to take a break and meet up in the future when she is back, who knows what would have happened by then.. but maybe its the "best option" maybe this is the best thing to do to even stand any chance of anything in the future, i would hate to stay in the relationship and see it fall apart or feel like it was slipping away each day.

even if we said we would stay together communication wouldn't be great. i'd feel like i was hanging on, whilst she is partying it up and tbh not realllly thinking about me.

 

anyway, i don't know how i am going to cope with her being gone. its already been hard not seeing her for a month coming up next week.

 

we still talk. but after the talk we had about it being easier to take a break etc and i removed the fb relationship status it seems as though she has massively withdrawn from "us" and i am always the one to txt her first. I txt her last night and didnt hear back. its pretty crap tbh.

 

i was planning to meet up with her next week or sometime when i have money and when is good for both of us. she leaves in september. its just getting harder to bring myself to seeing her, as it will undo all the minimal bit of strength i have to try and forget her for now.. and its not like she is asking for me to go see her..

 

it all feels a bit helpless and i dont know how to come to terms with what is happening, i cant seem to accept it, kinda scary

 

i broke down yesterday.

Edited July 21, 2011 by Dblock10