can anyone help me, please!? i'm so mixed up in my head, i don't know what day it is! help.

[jeleana]

o.k. i see so many post on here that sound just like my b'f and me so i'm going to try to explain this, i hope it don't get too lengthly. we have been together for three years and living together for most of that time. when i met him he worked for his brother doing delivery routes but he had a real estate license and is also a loan officer. when he worked for his brother i had no problems with him with anything but about a year or so ago he got back into real estate and loans. the problem with that is i didn't like all the contact he had with other women but i have since adjusted and am doing better. the problem that remains is that since he started his real estate he has been a jerk at times when his business is going really good and he is under too much pressure, then he is a jerk towards me and others. the other thing is his drinking, when i met him he drank seven nights a week at least eight beers a night. after i complained he then cut down to about 4-6. i still complained then he finally went to near beer and now drinks five beers on sat. night and maybe one or two when we go out to dinner. still it is a problem in my mind cause i always wonder how many he'll have at the football game, baseball game etc. the good things about him tho is he don't look at other women and that is high on my priority, he is very responsible, very professoinal has a great successful family, takes care of things as needed, works out with me six days a week or sometimes we have to go seperately, always call's throughout the day, has put up with my pms and jealsousy, though most of that has past. still there is always a part of me that wants to leave him and i don't know why. like when things go too good for a while then i get bored, or when he gets jerky then i want to leave as well. i always want to move back to my home state, but i know i think the grass is greener and that when i get there i will wish i was back here again, (maybe)that is the way it was in the past anyway. i have stayed put for three years the longest since 1992 after my mom died and i moved from that town to the one i want to go back to, to the one i'm at now, and i moved back and forth between the two for five years at least never going back to my home town for seven years until recently. when i wake up the first thoughts in my head are about leaving and starting over, i thought when we moved into this apt. in june that maybe it would help my wanting to move all the time. in july we went to the town that i keep thinking about and it didn't seem so great but when i want to get away from him it seems like a paradise. i went to counseling about all this once and they said once i was settled and happy where i'm at then i'll want to stop roaming, but at times i'm happy other times i'm not it just depends on my mood, my b'f and my finances as well cause it is so much cheaper out there in this small town, i could live in a house for the price of this apt. how do i settle down, and does he sound mean or am i warped. i am so confused, i just can't seem to be happy any where. i'm so sick and tired of this indeciveness in my head i want to scream at it to stop so i could just enjoy the moments in my life without always wondering if i would be happier somewhere else. i don't want to move back there and leave him and find out later that i screwed up big time then regret it forever cause the pickins for men out there is very slim, still. any ideas, thoughts or suggestions would be so much appreciated! like you would not believe! do you think i have some mental disease?

[Petunia]

Well first of all I would like to say from my experience that the jealousy thing is enough to drive anyone crazy. It does seem though, that you are trying to control that. It just seems to me that you both do things to each other that make the other mad. Maybe you guys should just try to focus on those things first and hopefully the rest will fall into place. Just my opinion.

o.k. i see so many post on here that sound just like my b'f and me so i'm going to try to explain this, i hope it don't get too lengthly. we have been together for three years and living together for most of that time. when i met him he worked for his brother doing delivery routes but he had a real estate license and is also a loan officer. when he worked for his brother i had no problems with him with anything but about a year or so ago he got back into real estate and loans. the problem with that is i didn't like all the contact he had with other women but i have since adjusted and am doing better. the problem that remains is that since he started his real estate he has been a jerk at times when his business is going really good and he is under too much pressure, then he is a jerk towards me and others. the other thing is his drinking, when i met him he drank seven nights a week at least eight beers a night. after i complained he then cut down to about 4-6. i still complained then he finally went to near beer and now drinks five beers on sat. night and maybe one or two when we go out to dinner. still it is a problem in my mind cause i always wonder how many he'll have at the football game, baseball game etc. the good things about him tho is he don't look at other women and that is high on my priority, he is very responsible, very professoinal has a great successful family, takes care of things as needed, works out with me six days a week or sometimes we have to go seperately, always call's throughout the day, has put up with my pms and jealsousy, though most of that has past. still there is always a part of me that wants to leave him and i don't know why. like when things go too good for a while then i get bored, or when he gets jerky then i want to leave as well. i always want to move back to my home state, but i know i think the grass is greener and that when i get there i will wish i was back here again, (maybe)that is the way it was in the past anyway. i have stayed put for three years the longest since 1992 after my mom died and i moved from that town to the one i want to go back to, to the one i'm at now, and i moved back and forth between the two for five years at least never going back to my home town for seven years until recently. when i wake up the first thoughts in my head are about leaving and starting over, i thought when we moved into this apt. in june that maybe it would help my wanting to move all the time. in july we went to the town that i keep thinking about and it didn't seem so great but when i want to get away from him it seems like a paradise. i went to counseling about all this once and they said once i was settled and happy where i'm at then i'll want to stop roaming, but at times i'm happy other times i'm not it just depends on my mood, my b'f and my finances as well cause it is so much cheaper out there in this small town, i could live in a house for the price of this apt. how do i settle down, and does he sound mean or am i warped. i am so confused, i just can't seem to be happy any where. i'm so sick and tired of this indeciveness in my head i want to scream at it to stop so i could just enjoy the moments in my life without always wondering if i would be happier somewhere else. i don't want to move back there and leave him and find out later that i screwed up big time then regret it forever cause the pickins for men out there is very slim, still. any ideas, thoughts or suggestions would be so much appreciated! like you would not believe! do you think i have some mental disease?

[jeleana need more advise please! anyone! help! ple]

o.k. i see so many post on here that sound just like my b'f and me so i'm going to try to explain this, i hope it don't get too lengthly. we have been together for three years and living together for most of that time. when i met him he worked for his brother doing delivery routes but he had a real estate license and is also a loan officer. when he worked for his brother i had no problems with him with anything but about a year or so ago he got back into real estate and loans. the problem with that is i didn't like all the contact he had with other women but i have since adjusted and am doing better. the problem that remains is that since he started his real estate he has been a jerk at times when his business is going really good and he is under too much pressure, then he is a jerk towards me and others. the other thing is his drinking, when i met him he drank seven nights a week at least eight beers a night. after i complained he then cut down to about 4-6. i still complained then he finally went to near beer and now drinks five beers on sat. night and maybe one or two when we go out to dinner. still it is a problem in my mind cause i always wonder how many he'll have at the football game, baseball game etc. the good things about him tho is he don't look at other women and that is high on my priority, he is very responsible, very professoinal has a great successful family, takes care of things as needed, works out with me six days a week or sometimes we have to go seperately, always call's throughout the day, has put up with my pms and jealsousy, though most of that has past. still there is always a part of me that wants to leave him and i don't know why. like when things go too good for a while then i get bored, or when he gets jerky then i want to leave as well. i always want to move back to my home state, but i know i think the grass is greener and that when i get there i will wish i was back here again, (maybe)that is the way it was in the past anyway. i have stayed put for three years the longest since 1992 after my mom died and i moved from that town to the one i want to go back to, to the one i'm at now, and i moved back and forth between the two for five years at least never going back to my home town for seven years until recently. when i wake up the first thoughts in my head are about leaving and starting over, i thought when we moved into this apt. in june that maybe it would help my wanting to move all the time. in july we went to the town that i keep thinking about and it didn't seem so great but when i want to get away from him it seems like a paradise. i went to counseling about all this once and they said once i was settled and happy where i'm at then i'll want to stop roaming, but at times i'm happy other times i'm not it just depends on my mood, my b'f and my finances as well cause it is so much cheaper out there in this small town, i could live in a house for the price of this apt. how do i settle down, and does he sound mean or am i warped. i am so confused, i just can't seem to be happy any where. i'm so sick and tired of this indeciveness in my head i want to scream at it to stop so i could just enjoy the moments in my life without always wondering if i would be happier somewhere else. i don't want to move back there and leave him and find out later that i screwed up big time then regret it forever cause the pickins for men out there is very slim, still. any ideas, thoughts or suggestions would be so much appreciated! like you would not believe! do you think i have some mental disease?

[Tony T]

The best way to get more responses and good advice is to be as brief as possible. It is very difficult for most people to digest very lengthy and complicated situations. Give a brief summary of the background and problem and then ask you specific questions. Many more people will respond that way.

[Taressa]

Okay now, calm down sweet thing, there's time to work through this...

 

First, it sounds like you're anxious to recapture something that you once had in that hometown. Tell us a bit about it... what made you feel happy and loved then?

 

Also, I didn't see mention of any other family than your mother... do you still have connection to your father or to any siblings?

 

Re. the drinking, it does sound excessive to me but you don't mention any abusive or uncontrolled actions from him as a result of his drinking. Can he control his emotions and reactions when he is drinking?

 

Without further detail, my first guess is that you met this man at a desperate time in your life and he felt wonderful to you. Since then you may have grown stronger or developed other interests that helped you develop emotionally. Perhaps now you find yourself not so much needing your boyfriend. You love him but don't need him. It could be a simple matter of outgrowing the relationship perhaps?

 

Try not to feel so desperate for change. Take time to think the next move through and you'll find it a good one.

o.k. i see so many post on here that sound just like my b'f and me so i'm going to try to explain this, i hope it don't get too lengthly. we have been together for three years and living together for most of that time. when i met him he worked for his brother doing delivery routes but he had a real estate license and is also a loan officer. when he worked for his brother i had no problems with him with anything but about a year or so ago he got back into real estate and loans. the problem with that is i didn't like all the contact he had with other women but i have since adjusted and am doing better. the problem that remains is that since he started his real estate he has been a jerk at times when his business is going really good and he is under too much pressure, then he is a jerk towards me and others. the other thing is his drinking, when i met him he drank seven nights a week at least eight beers a night. after i complained he then cut down to about 4-6. i still complained then he finally went to near beer and now drinks five beers on sat. night and maybe one or two when we go out to dinner. still it is a problem in my mind cause i always wonder how many he'll have at the football game, baseball game etc. the good things about him tho is he don't look at other women and that is high on my priority, he is very responsible, very professoinal has a great successful family, takes care of things as needed, works out with me six days a week or sometimes we have to go seperately, always call's throughout the day, has put up with my pms and jealsousy, though most of that has past. still there is always a part of me that wants to leave him and i don't know why. like when things go too good for a while then i get bored, or when he gets jerky then i want to leave as well. i always want to move back to my home state, but i know i think the grass is greener and that when i get there i will wish i was back here again, (maybe)that is the way it was in the past anyway. i have stayed put for three years the longest since 1992 after my mom died and i moved from that town to the one i want to go back to, to the one i'm at now, and i moved back and forth between the two for five years at least never going back to my home town for seven years until recently. when i wake up the first thoughts in my head are about leaving and starting over, i thought when we moved into this apt. in june that maybe it would help my wanting to move all the time. in july we went to the town that i keep thinking about and it didn't seem so great but when i want to get away from him it seems like a paradise. i went to counseling about all this once and they said once i was settled and happy where i'm at then i'll want to stop roaming, but at times i'm happy other times i'm not it just depends on my mood, my b'f and my finances as well cause it is so much cheaper out there in this small town, i could live in a house for the price of this apt. how do i settle down, and does he sound mean or am i warped. i am so confused, i just can't seem to be happy any where. i'm so sick and tired of this indeciveness in my head i want to scream at it to stop so i could just enjoy the moments in my life without always wondering if i would be happier somewhere else. i don't want to move back there and leave him and find out later that i screwed up big time then regret it forever cause the pickins for men out there is very slim, still. any ideas, thoughts or suggestions would be so much appreciated! like you would not believe! do you think i have some mental disease?

[Rivka]

I AM DIZZY JUST LOOKING AT THIS!!

o.k. i see so many post on here that sound just like my b'f and me so i'm going to try to explain this, i hope it don't get too lengthly. we have been together for three years and living together for most of that time. when i met him he worked for his brother doing delivery routes but he had a real estate license and is also a loan officer. when he worked for his brother i had no problems with him with anything but about a year or so ago he got back into real estate and loans. the problem with that is i didn't like all the contact he had with other women but i have since adjusted and am doing better. the problem that remains is that since he started his real estate he has been a jerk at times when his business is going really good and he is under too much pressure, then he is a jerk towards me and others. the other thing is his drinking, when i met him he drank seven nights a week at least eight beers a night. after i complained he then cut down to about 4-6. i still complained then he finally went to near beer and now drinks five beers on sat. night and maybe one or two when we go out to dinner. still it is a problem in my mind cause i always wonder how many he'll have at the football game, baseball game etc. the good things about him tho is he don't look at other women and that is high on my priority, he is very responsible, very professoinal has a great successful family, takes care of things as needed, works out with me six days a week or sometimes we have to go seperately, always call's throughout the day, has put up with my pms and jealsousy, though most of that has past. still there is always a part of me that wants to leave him and i don't know why. like when things go too good for a while then i get bored, or when he gets jerky then i want to leave as well. i always want to move back to my home state, but i know i think the grass is greener and that when i get there i will wish i was back here again, (maybe)that is the way it was in the past anyway. i have stayed put for three years the longest since 1992 after my mom died and i moved from that town to the one i want to go back to, to the one i'm at now, and i moved back and forth between the two for five years at least never going back to my home town for seven years until recently. when i wake up the first thoughts in my head are about leaving and starting over, i thought when we moved into this apt. in june that maybe it would help my wanting to move all the time. in july we went to the town that i keep thinking about and it didn't seem so great but when i want to get away from him it seems like a paradise. i went to counseling about all this once and they said once i was settled and happy where i'm at then i'll want to stop roaming, but at times i'm happy other times i'm not it just depends on my mood, my b'f and my finances as well cause it is so much cheaper out there in this small town, i could live in a house for the price of this apt. how do i settle down, and does he sound mean or am i warped. i am so confused, i just can't seem to be happy any where. i'm so sick and tired of this indeciveness in my head i want to scream at it to stop so i could just enjoy the moments in my life without always wondering if i would be happier somewhere else. i don't want to move back there and leave him and find out later that i screwed up big time then regret it forever cause the pickins for men out there is very slim, still. any ideas, thoughts or suggestions would be so much appreciated! like you would not believe! do you think i have some mental disease?

[Deejette]

I tend to pass over the messages that are typed in one big blob with little punctuation. It shows the person is very confused in their minds or they would organize their thoughts.

 

Each paragraph should express one thought. Then each thought can be analized and tackled as an issue.

 

Paart of the confusion is reflected in the run-together words and thoughts.

I AM DIZZY JUST LOOKING AT THIS!!