AngieS Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 HELP? I recently married my boyfriend of 8 years and the problem is his house. I have lived with him in his house since we married 2 weeks ago. He does not want to move & I DO. I hate his house- it's in the middle of nowhere, it is literally a shack. It's a 1 bedroom located in the country and has no room for my stuff at all. His yard looks like a junk yard. The house is not much and is very junky inside and out. I literally hate his house and the location. I REFUSE to live in his house and want to move to the city in a 2 bedroom townhouse but my husband DOES NOT want to move. He knows I hate his house & the location. And he cant sell it because it belongs to his Dad. He doesnt pay rent on this house either. What do I do??? We can not afford to buy a nice house but we have been approved to rent a nice 2 BR townhouse that would be 100% nicer than his house. Dont know what to do. I dont want to get divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 How is it you have only now started to discuss this? How come you didn't settle issues of where you would live before you married him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngieS Posted April 25, 2004 Author Share Posted April 25, 2004 We did discuss moving before we got married and his reply to me was "I'm ready to move" but now, he doesnt want to. He has made every excuse possible. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Awk! The old bait-and-switch What does he now say when you remind him of his earlier words? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AngieS Posted April 25, 2004 Author Share Posted April 25, 2004 I reminded him of what he said and he makes excuses like we cant afford to rent (which we can) or if he moves his brother will want to move into his house and he doesnt want his brother living in that house. Or, another excuse- he will have to store & lock up his tools and junk somewhere so his Dad wont steal them from him (which he already does anyway). I'm really fed up right now with him. Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 Why don't you just make it your project to clean the place up? Straighten the yard, paint the walls, re-shingle the house....eventually if you plan to have kids, you can add on... Don't look a gift horse in the mouth! Take the money that you would be wasting on rent, and put it into cleaning up your new home. Build a storage shed out back for all the extra clutter. Rent would be at least $500 a month in the city, so after 3 months, you could hire someone to clean up your yard (or at least you could in my area) We live in the city, with big trucks driving by, and loud sirens. We are planning on moving to an area 20 minutes away, but it is sooooo quiet. I can't wait We are renting right now, and as far as I can see it, we've wasted $12,000 on a rental home....and when we move out, we don't get a penny for "selling" it or anything! It's just $12,000 wasted. Why would you want to do that when you have a home free!? Who cares what it looks like...with the money you'll save on rent, you can MORE than afford to clean it up, or have it cleaned up. What's the real issue here? Is the real issue that you thought you'd have everything you wanted? Honey, marriage is a compromise....2 weeks into it, and you are already considering divorce because he doesn't want to do what you want to do? He may have said he was ready to move, but then he started thinking about all that would entail! If my husband wanted to live in a shack, then I'd live in it with him. I'd live under a cliff with him, if that's what it took to be with him. I'm not sure I get where you're coming from. It sounds like you want your way or the highway to me. People are humans. We change our mind. I'm sure he didn't blatantly lie to you to get you to marry him. I'm sure that he thought moving would be a great idea once you were married. Maybe you are turning out to be more expensive than he had planned Have you discussed this with him, and found out what his motives are in his decision, or are you just upset that he's not doing what you want to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Embee Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Yeah, what Monday said. Link to post Share on other sites
MJCA Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 I have much sympathy for you as I am dealing with the same thing myself. I have been married for about 7 months and my husband insisted that we move to another state. I hate it and he loves it. I also do not want to get divorced but when I talked to him he said he would rather stay in this new state than follow his wife. I' m sorry I don't have advice for you, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I wish you lots of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts