OhItsADisaster Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 (edited) Here's my story. Me and my boyfriend got together about 2 years ago. I didn't find out until a month after we started dating that he didn't break up with his ex until our 2nd date before we became "official". We moved in together quickly, after only only 3 months of being boyfriend/girlfriend. I found out 6 months after we started dating that he had slept with his ex a few times since we had moved in together. I had expected so, but I had reasonable doubt until he told me himself. We have tried to make things better, but its really hard. Well, a few weeks ago, he, I, and some of his friends were drinking at our home. One of his friends, who I had a thing for in high school, admitted that he thought I was very attractive and even commented that he would have never done anything to hurt me. He continued on saying that I had everything a man needed, and that my boyfriend's ex was way below me in every way. Since then, I cannot get this guy out of my head. I have had times in the past since the whole cheating thing came out that I have been very tempted to "get back" at my boyfriend, but this is completely different. I find myself wishing that I was with this other guy, not just physically, but in ever aspect of a relationship. My boyfriend leaves for basic training next month. I'm worried that I will find myself being unfaithful if given the opportunity, especially with this one guy in particular. I don't want to ruin their friendship, they are best friends. I don't want to lose him, I love him dearly. I need advice. Edited July 22, 2011 by OhItsADisaster Was too long. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 I don't want to ruin their friendship, they are best friends. I don't want to lose him, I love him dearly. I need advice. No you don't need advice. You know the difference between right and wrong don't you? How old are you? If you want to avoid ruining their friendship and you don't want to lose him and you really do love him dearly then keep your legs closed. If you rather be with the other guy then dump your BF, and go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 No you don't need advice. You know the difference between right and wrong don't you? How old are you? If you want to avoid ruining their friendship and you don't want to lose him and you really do love him dearly then keep your legs closed. If you rather be with the other guy then dump your BF, and go for it. But, if she goes for it, then she'll destroy their friendship forever. The Guy that's going off to serve his country will lose total respect for his Ex and his Ex best friend. Probably to the point of utter hatred for the two people he held so dearly to himself. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 He cheated on you several times with his ex. Why did you even stay with him?? I doubt he's been faithful since then. Dump him, but dont get together with his friend just because he sweet talked you. Maybe you need to be single for awhile and figure out why you'd put up with a guy who repeatedly slept with his ex while you two were living together.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OhItsADisaster Posted July 22, 2011 Author Share Posted July 22, 2011 No you don't need advice. You know the difference between right and wrong don't you? How old are you? If you want to avoid ruining their friendship and you don't want to lose him and you really do love him dearly then keep your legs closed. If you rather be with the other guy then dump your BF, and go for it. Yes I do and I am 22. Like I said, after his friend told me all the stuff he did, I found myself wanting to be with him EMOTIONALLY, not just physically. I don't want to ruin my relationship. I know cheating, even if the other partner has cheated, only makes things worse. I'm not stupid. I have caught myself being emotionally withdrawn from my boyfriend since this has all happened and I've never been in a situation like this before. It just threw my whole life, relationship wise, out of whack. Thats why I was seeking advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Want an advice? Dump your BF and leave the 2 guys alone. Find yourself a new, 3rd guy. Planning on making excuses why it can't be done (the advice given above)? than prepare to become a b1tch once you sleep with this other guy only cause he said a few nice words or once you do break up but move to his best friend. Damn you're easy. One thing is for sure though, your RS is over; Your BF cheated on you and you'r emotionally cheating on him as we speak. GL. Link to post Share on other sites
RepairMinded Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 You have my official permission to revenge cheat on your boyfriend when he goes on deployment. Unlike others, I will not judge you for it. I don't think your current bf is worth worrying about. Just don't let being a cheater become a "habit." Once you get good at cheating, it becomes easier "the next time," and is addictive. You may end up in a place where you find yourself cheating on a future relationship just because you can, not because you really want to. So it seems, you are at a big fork in the road of your life, and have to decide which path to go down, with no real guarantees of where the end of the road will take you. Can you live with knowing that you are a cheater, even if no one else ever finds out? Or--do you think you are a better person than that? The guy who wants to get into your pants says you have everything a guy could want. Is he including being honest and faithful? Because a good man wants his woman to be honest and faithful. Think about it before you do anything rash. Link to post Share on other sites
couplehundred Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 About once a month I get a text message from a friend of mine whose brother is serving in Iraq. The message is a picture of a naked girl and the attached message always contains her name, a face book link, hometown etc. Then it says she is a the wife or girlfriend of a soldier overseas and she has cheated on him and asks that I forward the pic and message to my friends and "make her famous". I look forward to seeing your naked pics. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Whatever you do, don't cheat, specially on someone going into the service If you don't wanna be with your BF---tell him, you wanna end the relationship, and let it go at that---- You can't be playing with people's lives as if they were ping pong balls-----Stand up, do what you feel you must do, just be honest about it with everyone involved Link to post Share on other sites
Maggotface Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Cheating is never okay in any situation and it would not be justified just because he did it. Everyone else has already posted what needs to be done. You have a poor excuse for a boyfriend, it's your choice if you want to stay and put up with him but I don't really see a point since you feel yourself detaching. As for friend, if you really don't want to mess up their friendship then don't, other sweet talkers will come along. I think this friend of his was just an eye opener for you, told you what you needed to hear; that you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Here's my story. Me and my boyfriend got together about 2 years ago. I didn't find out until a month after we started dating that he didn't break up with his ex until our 2nd date before we became "official". We moved in together quickly, after only only 3 months of being boyfriend/girlfriend. I found out 6 months after we started dating that he had slept with his ex a few times since we had moved in together. I had expected so, but I had reasonable doubt until he told me himself. We have tried to make things better, but its really hard. Well, a few weeks ago, he, I, and some of his friends were drinking at our home. One of his friends, who I had a thing for in high school, admitted that he thought I was very attractive and even commented that he would have never done anything to hurt me. He continued on saying that I had everything a man needed, and that my boyfriend's ex was way below me in every way. Since then, I cannot get this guy out of my head. I have had times in the past since the whole cheating thing came out that I have been very tempted to "get back" at my boyfriend, but this is completely different. I find myself wishing that I was with this other guy, not just physically, but in ever aspect of a relationship. My boyfriend leaves for basic training next month. I'm worried that I will find myself being unfaithful if given the opportunity, especially with this one guy in particular. I don't want to ruin their friendship, they are best friends. I don't want to lose him, I love him dearly. I need advice. Break up with him now....no use in delaying the inevitable. Because I guarantee you that if you are asking these questions, you already are seriously thinking cheating. Please give your BF the respect he deserves and break up with him before he leaves. It may seem counterintuitive right now, but most relationships are strained at best when there is distance put between them. And I doubt very highly that you are at the maturity level now where you can stay faithful at long distance. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I would question whether this best friend actually told you the truth. First a best friend would not stab his so called best friend in the back this way. Second, it would not be uncommon for him to lie to you so he could get intimate with you later. Why would you believe anything he tells you? I have a hunch this guy is very self-serving. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I'm pretty sure the OP ditched this thread long ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I agree. She's not coming back. Not getting the answers she WANTED to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 And probably riding another guy without breaking up with BF Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts