sdmomof 3 Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 nooo its not that!!! just the a opposite... my bfriend hates my mom... many reasons.. because she has to always feel like she knows everything, she is never wrong,she treats *all men* different then women.. (burned by my father 25yrs ago -she has never forgave him.. chose to be alone,never dated another man, and has not had any close friendships with anyone... thats the negative stuff .. the positive stuff is that she has done everything for me and my 3 children,took us back into her home,financially helped me out of debt *more then once* , has helped me through a hard divorce. I feel as if I owe her to be loyal to her, *she now is needing my financial help*,and I also fear that she would ( die ) without me/kids. for the simple reason she is a lonely,miserable woman... if I chose to move out, (which eventually will happen) it is so important to me that we (my mom and I) will be on good terms with eachother..I would honestly feel responsible if she would die (anymore) lonelier of a woman then she already is... my boyfriend and her had a misunderstanding..she again thinking she did nothing wrong, which my boyfriend is being stubborn and refuses to be any part of her..he is holding a grudge and says things about her to me ( which hurts my feelings),we still want to try to work things out but it makes it hard for us to spend anytime together. (which is difficult, because I live with her) so after 3 yrs of our relationship is in jeopardy,I feel like I have to choose whom I love more..* my mom has done so much for me- has loved me unconditionally.and my boyfriend has helped me feel better about myself after being in a marriage where I was mentally abused,I dreamed of a future with him,but now I feel stuck in the middle.. torn between the 2 people who I love so much.. I know it sounds like I bashed my mom..but, I do love her! she is my mom!! Link to post Share on other sites
Dooda Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 It doesn't sound like you bashed your mom. It sounds like just the opposite. It sounds like your mom has a certain control over you and is making you unhappy. If you feel that it would be your fault if your mom died any lonelier, then you should reevaluate how you feel about your mom. Maybe your mom says certain things that make you feel like that? In any case, do what you have to do to be happy. You don't want to keep clinging on the past, and in doing so make your present and future less satisfying. Link to post Share on other sites
Winterly Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 The fact that you feel so responsible for your mother's happiness, shows how codependent the relationship is. It is not your fault that your mother is still bitter and lonely; that has been HER choice. I strongly believe that she has taken you on a guilt trip about "leaving her." I'm agree with you. Link to post Share on other sites
littlebit35 Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Find your mother a BOY FRIEND she needs to spend a week with a good man and she will see things in a better light. Link to post Share on other sites
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