Mixed Signals - Trying To Move Forward

[Surfer203]

Guys, I think have finally seen the light.

 

Loans are in both of our names. Regarding her own finances after she leaves, I don't care. I will sell my house and move in with my folks temporarily. I make $60K and can move in with my parents (they have a separate guest apartment). I can pay off my portion of the debt in no time and save up money to move out on my own again pretty quickly. She has no where to go.

[marqueemoon4]

Guys, I think have finally seen the light.

 

Loans are in both of our names. Regarding her own finances after she leaves, I don't care. I will sell my house and move in with my folks temporarily. I make $60K and can move in with my parents (they have a separate guest apartment). I can pay off my portion of the debt in no time and save up money to move out on my own again pretty quickly. She has no where to go.

 

it needs to be done. don't feel sorry her, I PROMISE YOU she wouldn't cut you any breaks. don't be an a-hole about it, just serve her and be done with it. you put up with more bs than most would, its time to run the white flag up the pole and MOVE ON.

[Surfer203]

mm4: I am convinced that is the only way. Unless something miraculous happens and she has an epiphany today.

[Tech_E]

Ahh surfer, I feel for you. I really do.

 

It is getting through! Finally!

 

Good luck my friend, if there is anything at all I can do, you know where to reach me.

[LifesontheUp]

Prediction - when you see her, she'll be a little sweeter than she was last night and you'll think that there is hope again.

 

YOUR CYCLE WILL CONTINUE UNTIL YOU STOP IT SURFER.

[Surfer203]

Tech_E: Thanks, I appreciate it.

 

Lifesontheup: From what has happened so far, your prediction is very likely. This time though, not going to happen. Not doing this anymore.

[marqueemoon4]

mm4: I am convinced that is the only way. Unless something miraculous happens and she has an epiphany today.

 

i guess its not out of the realm of possibility, but highly unlikely. she may have an epiphany when she gets served, but still I doubt it. stop thinking about HER, start thinking about YOU.

[Lexygirl]

mm4: I am convinced that is the only way. Unless something miraculous happens and she has an epiphany today.

 

Again, though, letting her have the control

It's time YOU take control, Surfer. My suggestion would be to have the 'I love you but you aren't who I thought you were and it's time to end this' speech ready on the tip of your tongue.

Of course she will be sweeter and all full of promises because she doesn't have anywhere to go and no other doormat to be with atm.

Please don't let her suck you back into her vortex of hell.

[Surfer203]

mm4 and Lexy: Don't worry I am ready for this. Been a long time in the making.

[marqueemoon4]

Again, though, letting her have the control

It's time YOU take control, Surfer. My suggestion would be to have the 'I love you but you aren't who I thought you were and it's time to end this' speech ready on the tip of your tongue.

Of course she will be sweeter and all full of promises because she doesn't have anywhere to go and no other doormat to be with atm.

Please don't let her suck you back into her vortex of hell.

 

this is why my exW can treat me like complete garbage, she had a couple doormats to fall back on. its not hard for women to find men to take care of them it seems. regardless, her fickle behavior, selfishness, and overall lack of respect should be enough for you to call it a day on this marriage.

[andyg99]

God this situation sucks man, I feel for you.. you love even though she is making your life hell. WHY??? why do people (myself absolutely included) want to hold onto dear life to someone who is so disrespectful, unappreciative and f-ed up? it defies all logic.

 

we do it because we are hanging on to something that is not real, we are afraid... when we realize that the person we long for does not exist anymore is when we can begin to heal...

[updown]

the reason it only lasts a week, is because it's NOT THE TRUTH!!! the "good behavior" side of her is NOT HER! it's her trying to be something she is not. something she thinks you want her to be, and it can't last long because after awhile your true nature shows through! not to mention you get a little annoyed at having to be something you're not. so, then you BLOW UP! WHY? because you're full of resentment towards the other person.

 

she doesn't want to to be married, but she knows she's screwed if she leaves!!!! end of story. there ain't no more.........

 

 

 

For a week she was on good behavior and now? Just because she is starting a new job means that she can do whatever she wants until then? F NO! What's hilarious is, after all the fighting last night, she stayed out with my friends for a bit and I went home, when I said goodbye to her she said "are we cool? drive safe home, please" Very concerned all of a sudden and like nothing happened and it was a minor thing. She does not understand the gravity of what she is doing.

[andyg99]

i know it too.. and jeez i dont even have a choice. there is no way my exW is ever coming back, ever. and I STILL miss her.. and hate that she has the nerve to act like the years 2002-2010 ever happened. I really think I wont be over her until I meet someone else, and who knows how long that will take. in the meantime, I'll continue to improve me.

 

you WILL get over it BEFORE you meet someone else - you owe that to your son otherwise you'll end of with the same type of woman who just burned you... Heal first, then date....

[andyg99]

Guys, I think have finally seen the light.

 

Loans are in both of our names. Regarding her own finances after she leaves, I don't care. I will sell my house and move in with my folks temporarily. I make $60K and can move in with my parents (they have a separate guest apartment). I can pay off my portion of the debt in no time and save up money to move out on my own again pretty quickly. She has no where to go.

 

good for you - DO NOT WASTE ONE MINUTE! keep the momentum going... start moving your stuff to your folks TODAY! Let her know you'll be selling the home, tell her she owns half your debt... YOU WILL get out of debt faster without her! With her I guarantee you'll go further and further into debt. I GUARANTEE THAT! No more dragging your feet, enough is enough - I don't give a s**t what she does today - it's over, you know it....

[Kidd]

Ahh surfer, I feel for you. I really do.

 

It is getting through! Finally!

 

Good luck my friend, if there is anything at all I can do, you know where to reach me.

 

Surfer, forgive me for the brief threadjack.

Tech_E, thanks for trying today. Get established soon and I'll see you on PM.

[Tech_E]

Surfer, forgive me for the brief threadjack.

Tech_E, thanks for trying today. Get established soon and I'll see you on PM.

 

I'm sure my bud surfer will be OK with the minor derail. You're welcome kidd. I did try...

 

Surfer, any word from her today?

[Surfer203]

Yes, I did hear from her. She has a bad sinus infection and was sleeping for a few hours today. She neglected to get her antibiotics from the pharmacy yesterday and decided to drink instead. Now she will miss out on instructing 2 zumba classes and maybe won't be able to make it to my nephews birthday party tomorrow night. She really has her priorities straight.

 

Anyway, she is giving me a bit of a cold attitude. Like I am at fault for her bad decisions last night and the outcome.

 

I am so pissed off and done with this.

[2sunny]

soooo, she seems to be showing signs of a drinking problem, which helps to make sense of a few things.

 

her priority is to go out. makes sense.

 

her priority is to have YOU work and provide for her so she doesn't have to do anything... makes sense.

 

stop going along with it.

 

since she has made these choices... step away. you can't fix this for her. consequences can help. fixing it all doesn't help her to help herself.

 

tell her to get out. sick or not. job or not. she should be on her own. she can figure things out from here forward. since she has nowhere to go - suggest the salvation army! they can help her to get well and teach her how to work! that's right - you earn your place to live there... by WORKING and staying sober!

 

so, you see, she DOES have a place to go. suggest it for her!

 

you fixing things for her and making it all look pretty for her is NOT helping!

[andyg99]

I am so pissed off and done with this.

 

OK - so do something then... seems like earlier on in your stroy I remember you delaying taking action because she was sick... are you going to wait again or are you going to save your life?

[PegNosePete]

Loans are in both of our names. Regarding her own finances after she leaves, I don't care. I will sell my house and move in with my folks temporarily. I make $60K and can move in with my parents (they have a separate guest apartment). I can pay off my portion of the debt in no time and save up money to move out on my own again pretty quickly. She has no where to go.

Dude - don't move out. And don't assume that "your portion" of the debt will be 50%. You really need to see an attorney as soon as you've made the decision to split because you need to know what is best for you financially. By moving out you may give her an open door to lay claim on the house, or to get more than 50% of the house. It will work in your favour that she has a job now (less chance of alimony) but she may claim she needs the house to remain close to her work. In fact contrary to previous advice it might be a good idea to wait it out a few weeks until she gets her first paycheck. But get professional advice ASAP dude!

[blueskyahead]

LOL John Michael...

First of all... you have zero idea about what I have or have not told my husband... OR what changes we have made.

 

Second of all... Like I have said I place blame for our relationship issues on both of us. Poor me feelings or thoughts? NOPE .... Just the knowledge that we both deserve to have our needs met.

 

Third of all... Surfer is well aware that he can agree or disagree with me if he pleases. My comments and advice are given in good faith and just like everyone else on this board, I post based on my experience and knowledge... if you want to call this bias then by all means go ahead... no skin off my butt.

 

Now... don't expect me to respond further to you on SURFER'S thread... it's called thread jacking but

I'm sure you already know that John Michael

 

BTW, Blueskyahead, you have been reported for harrasment... I suggest you stop.

 

Sorry Surfer Dude. I have to do this for a buddy of mine. I hope you'd do this as well if you were in my position. Sorry for the threadjack dude!

 

Well! Well! Well! lexy dear. Seems stating the truth is now considered harrassment. Guess freedom of speech is only allowed when you are serial cheater right Lex? Funny how harrassment only runs one way for you? I did read on a thread somewhere on here that you wouldn't leave a poor man and his wife alone and stop contacting the man even after they both asked you multiple times. In my books, that seems like harrassment as well. Oh well.

 

At what point did you ever answer the question I have asked several times? Why didn't you tell your husband about all the affairs? Again, I doubt you'll answer that. Seems you completely ignore that question everytime.

 

Oh and BTW I am not John Michael. LMFAO Just a lil backgroud Lexy (J****) I am from a little community outside St. Catherines. I now your husband and was floored when I came across your profile on another internet site hunting for men. Then I came on here only to see your smug face all over these threads with the poor me attitude. I have been hoping you would have had the B@lls to tell your H the complete thruth by now. I think it's the least he deserves. Here you are on here talking about how your husband never allowed you to orgasm yet on other threads you seem to know all about what did you call it???? Squirting, yes that's what you called it squirting while having a man inside you???? Seems your husband don't know about your extensive experience you have had in the subject. You claim I don't know about you. Well dear, your FAITHFUL husband and I have had many conversations so yes I do know! You have no self respect selling yourself with those trashy pictures you use on your profiles. Sexy, no. Cheap, yes. You should be ashamed of yourself. God help your poor hardworking husband. He deserves a woman that anyone can respect. He deserves a woman that respects him and what he provides for her.

 

Yeah I might get banned after this post but it is definietly worth knowing that you know I see you for who you REALLY are and shame on you for allowing people to think your husband is the one with the problem. It's too bad so many people on here respect your opinions.

[lookingout4mybuddy]

LOL John Michael...

First of all... you have zero idea about what I have or have not told my husband... OR what changes we have made.

 

Second of all... Like I have said I place blame for our relationship issues on both of us. Poor me feelings or thoughts? NOPE .... Just the knowledge that we both deserve to have our needs met.

 

Third of all... Surfer is well aware that he can agree or disagree with me if he pleases. My comments and advice are given in good faith and just like everyone else on this board, I post based on my experience and knowledge... if you want to call this bias then by all means go ahead... no skin off my butt.

 

Now... don't expect me to respond further to you on SURFER'S thread... it's called thread jacking but

I'm sure you already know that John Michael

 

BTW, Blueskyahead, you have been reported for harrasment... I suggest you stop.

 

Sorry Surfer Dude. I have to do this for a buddy of mine. I hope you'd do this as well if you were in my position. Sorry for the threadjack dude!

 

Well! Well! Well! lexy dear. had to give my bluesky account up. Seems stating the truth is now considered harrassment. Guess freedom of speech is only allowed when you are serial cheater right Lex? Funny how harrassment only runs one way for you? I did read on a thread somewhere on here that you wouldn't leave a poor man and his wife alone and stop contacting the man even after they both asked you multiple times. In my books, that seems like harrassment as well. Oh well.

 

At what point did you ever answer the question I have asked several times? Why didn't you tell your husband about all the affairs? Again, I doubt you'll answer that. Seems you completely ignore that question everytime.

 

Oh and BTW I am not John Michael. LMFAO Just a lil backgroud Lexy (J****) I am from a little community outside St. Catherines. I now your husband and was floored when I came across your profile on another internet site hunting for men. Then I came on here only to see your smug face all over these threads with the poor me attitude. I have been hoping you would have had the B@lls to tell your H the complete thruth by now. I think it's the least he deserves. Here you are on here talking about how your husband never allowed you to orgasm yet on other threads you seem to know all about what did you call it???? Squirting, yes that's what you called it squirting while having a man inside you???? Seems your husband don't know about your extensive experience you have had in the subject. You claim I don't know about you. Well dear, your FAITHFUL husband and I have had many conversations so yes I do know! You have no self respect selling yourself with those trashy pictures you use on your profiles. Sexy, no. Cheap, yes. You should be ashamed of yourself. God help your poor hardworking husband. He deserves a woman that anyone can respect. He deserves a woman that respects him and what he provides for her.

 

Yeah I might get banned after this post but it is definietly worth knowing that you know I see you for who you REALLY are and shame on you for allowing people to think your husband is the one with the problem. It's too bad so many people on here respect your opinions.

[jaymz]

Sorry Surfer Dude. I have to do this for a buddy of mine. I hope you'd do this as well if you were in my position. Sorry for the threadjack dude!

 

Well! Well! Well! lexy dear. had to give my bluesky account up. Seems stating the truth is now considered harrassment. Guess freedom of speech is only allowed when you are serial cheater right Lex? Funny how harrassment only runs one way for you? I did read on a thread somewhere on here that you wouldn't leave a poor man and his wife alone and stop contacting the man even after they both asked you multiple times. In my books, that seems like harrassment as well. Oh well.

 

At what point did you ever answer the question I have asked several times? Why didn't you tell your husband about all the affairs? Again, I doubt you'll answer that. Seems you completely ignore that question everytime.

 

Oh and BTW I am not John Michael. LMFAO Just a lil backgroud Lexy (J****) I am from a little community outside St. Catherines. I now your husband and was floored when I came across your profile on another internet site hunting for men. Then I came on here only to see your smug face all over these threads with the poor me attitude. I have been hoping you would have had the B@lls to tell your H the complete thruth by now. I think it's the least he deserves. Here you are on here talking about how your husband never allowed you to orgasm yet on other threads you seem to know all about what did you call it???? Squirting, yes that's what you called it squirting while having a man inside you???? Seems your husband don't know about your extensive experience you have had in the subject. You claim I don't know about you. Well dear, your FAITHFUL husband and I have had many conversations so yes I do know! You have no self respect selling yourself with those trashy pictures you use on your profiles. Sexy, no. Cheap, yes. You should be ashamed of yourself. God help your poor hardworking husband. He deserves a woman that anyone can respect. He deserves a woman that respects him and what he provides for her.

 

Yeah I might get banned after this post but it is definietly worth knowing that you know I see you for who you REALLY are and shame on you for allowing people to think your husband is the one with the problem. It's too bad so many people on here respect your opinions.

 

Probably not the best thread to do this on.

[Lexygirl]

LookingOut4mybuddy,

LOL if you lived near St. Catharines you would know how to spell it correctly haha !

You have issues man.

No idea what you're talking about in most of your post and once again you've been reported for harrassment.

Have a nice life.

Goodbye

Edited July 29, 2011 by Lexygirl

[Surfer203]

Nothing new to report people, sorry. Will update on Monday next probably.

I came home to a long hug. Not sure what it meant. Whatever. No major discussion was had.

 

Regarding all of the nonsense, please knock it off. I don't know any of you, I won't judge any of you. Lexy appears to try to give good advice. While I don't necessarily agree with her advice or any one's advice here fully, I appreciate the effort and gesture by her. What she does in her personal life is her own business. Don't s*** talk on my thread, take it to a private message if you must. Thanks.