singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 We all know that most women have been hurt and they put up a huge wall that protects their heart. Sadly a lot of times they come off as not being protective but hurtful to people who care for them or are trying to care for them. I was wondering do these women even realize that they are pushing a person away? When noone is trying to hurt you and you keep being harsh to them then you are the jerk in the situation. My question is do women realize they do this and are they really wanting to be left alone? I mean really? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Such women are damaged goods. Avoid them at all cost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 Such women are damaged goods. Avoid them at all cost. so it's just too late for them huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Their problems are not your problem. Don't let their negativity rub off on you. Instead, surround yourself with positive people who have their sh*t together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 Their problems are not your problem. Don't let their negativity rub off on you. Instead, surround yourself with positive people who have their sh*t together. Makes since. I hope the guys out there read this. With no women disputing your point it must be valid. Thanks feelgood Link to post Share on other sites
soulm8 Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 We all know that most women have been hurt and they put up a huge wall that protects their heart. Sadly a lot of times they come off as not being protective but hurtful to people who care for them or are trying to care for them. I was wondering do these women even realize that they are pushing a person away? When noone is trying to hurt you and you keep being harsh to them then you are the jerk in the situation. My question is do women realize they do this and are they really wanting to be left alone? I mean really? Maybe you could give some examples? Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 Maybe you could give some examples? Really? I mean, really? EVeryone knows all the possible examples. Feel free to share your opinionthusfar. Link to post Share on other sites
soulm8 Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 We all know that most women have been hurt and they put up a huge wall that protects their heart. Sadly a lot of times they come off as not being protective but hurtful to people who care for them or are trying to care for them. I was wondering do these women even realize that they are pushing a person away? When noone is trying to hurt you and you keep being harsh to them then you are the jerk in the situation. My question is do women realize they do this and are they really wanting to be left alone? I mean really? I asked for examples because definitions of protective vs. hurtful and harsh vs. wanting to be left alone, vary from person to person. Are you talking about a woman who chooses to only sleep with a man who is committed to her? For all I know, you could be ranting that this woman is "being harsh" because she won't jump into bed with you... or she could simply not be interested in you but you're not grasping it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 I asked for examples because definitions of protective vs. hurtful and harsh vs. wanting to be left alone, vary from person to person. Are you talking about a woman who chooses to only sleep with a man who is committed to her? For all I know, you could be ranting that this woman is "being harsh" because she won't jump into bed with you... or she could simply not be interested in you but you're not grasping it. Wow. No it was a general question about women in general. Thanks for your time. Link to post Share on other sites
soulm8 Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Makes since. I hope the guys out there read this. With no women disputing your point it must be valid. Thanks feelgood yeah, wow is right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 I would like to hear from ladies with an objective opion. Very interested in what you have to say. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 you're being too general... what question specifically are you asking? people (men and women) get hurt all the time. some are more resilient than others. you can't make a blanket statement with such a broad brush stroke. we need specifics. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinas Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 I was hurt in my previous relationship fairly badly, treated like dirt by the end. I have walls up. Do I push guys away or treat them badly due to my past? Nope. I am still willing to open up to someone who is willing to get over my walls with me. It really depends on what woman and situation you are dealing with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 I was hurt in my previous relationship fairly badly, treated like dirt by the end. I have walls up. Do I push guys away or treat them badly due to my past? Nope. I am still willing to open up to someone who is willing to get over my walls with me. It really depends on what woman and situation you are dealing with. Interesting.There is no specific situation in my case. Just notice women do that in a variety of circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinas Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 The way I see it is that, a guy who is worth opening up to will be willing to get through the walls, or climb over them. I'm sure everyone has there own insecurities, and concerns, communication is key. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 The way I see it is that, a guy who is worth opening up to will be willing to get through the walls, or climb over them. I'm sure everyone has there own insecurities, and concerns, communication is key. Well that's why I started this thread. I know a lot of women who said they missed out on great guys. So even though I agree with most of what you say, it's not always soley up to the guy to help you bring those walls down. Everyone has limits. A lot of girls have Mr. Perfect in their grasp only to keep the walss up too long and treat a guy like crap long enough for him to leave her alone. Then she's back to square one. I just think the ladies need to take more responsibility for how they come across. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelydemon Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 being in square one is being hurt again Link to post Share on other sites
SteelWall Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Ummm....if you are looking to just get laid then walls may seem burdensome, tiresome.....ect. Everyone has walls to certain extents. Issues come into play with women who need men to validate their entire being. The histrionics...ect. Low self esteem. Having built walls to protect yourself can easily be broken with the right person. Not everyone is meant to be together and if I seem to be some sort of burden to someone because of the life I have experienced and lived....and because they are not getting immediate satisfaction...then so be it. It may hurt a little, but better to know sooner than later. I have walls, but they are there to protect me, they do not cause anyone harm or become an issue in most cases. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinas Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Well that's why I started this thread. I know a lot of women who said they missed out on great guys. So even though I agree with most of what you say, it's not always soley up to the guy to help you bring those walls down. Everyone has limits. A lot of girls have Mr. Perfect in their grasp only to keep the walss up too long and treat a guy like crap long enough for him to leave her alone. Then she's back to square one. I just think the ladies need to take more responsibility for how they come across. Oh no, I don't expect a guy to do all the work, however I have to be able to trust a man in order to get close. This generally brings down walls. I have no expectations of Mr perfect, I am not seeking a man on a white horse. I treat those how I expect to be treated in return. Link to post Share on other sites
mo mo Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Ummm....if you are looking to just get laid then walls may seem burdensome, tiresome.....ect. Everyone has walls to certain extents. Issues come into play with women who need men to validate their entire being. The histrionics...ect. Low self esteem. Having built walls to protect yourself can easily be broken with the right person. Not everyone is meant to be together and if I seem to be some sort of burden to someone because of the life I have experienced and lived....and because they are not getting immediate satisfaction...then so be it. It may hurt a little, but better to know sooner than later. I have walls, but they are there to protect me, they do not cause anyone harm or become an issue in most cases. This post is proof that the women in this thread have no idea what OP is talking about, which is basically solid evidence that OP really is on to something with his claims. Nowhere did OP say anything about wanting to get around walls for a quickie. What he is talking about, is that a lot of women have these walls up, but not only are these women hard to get close to, they can sometimes even be mean and harsh to the men they are supposedly interested in. A guy will only put up with so much of that before he feels disrespected and moves on. I don't think having walls is a bad idea.. but when it gets to the point when a girl is either directly telling a guy to go away or being rude to him, then there's a real issue. Feelsgoodman knows what I'm talking about. He alluded to it in his first post. Link to post Share on other sites
SteelWall Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Then it is obviously something else other than walls. Maybe a personality disorder like BPD or histrionic. Not all people are nice good people. Some have the personality of a brick and no matter how good looking etc. are dull, mean spirited..or just not worth getting to know. And again, women especially ones used to being hit on by an assortment of characters who have wit and intelligence...might jump too fast sometimes to being played with. I will 'Kill Bill' a gentleman in secs if I feel my intelligence is being tested or my emotions are being toyed with. Link to post Share on other sites
mo mo Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Then it is obviously something else other than walls. Maybe a personality disorder like BPD or histrionic. Not all people are nice good people. Some have the personality of a brick and no matter how good looking etc. are dull, mean spirited..or just not worth getting to know. And again, women especially ones used to being hit on by an assortment of characters who have wit and intelligence...might jump too fast sometimes to being played with. I will 'Kill Bill' a gentleman in secs if I feel my intelligence is being tested or my emotions are being toyed with. Yea see.. what if the guy isn't trying to test you? What if he's just naturally smart and witty? So now you're putting your defenses up because he has qualities you look for in spades? Not only are you getting defensive, you're attacking this guy for being himself? I'm not saying you do this per se, Steel Wall, but I have known women that do exactly that. Self-destructive behavior if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 Yea see.. what if the guy isn't trying to test you? What if he's just naturally smart and witty? So now you're putting your defenses up because he has qualities you look for in spades? Not only are you getting defensive, you're attacking this guy for being himself? I'm not saying you do this per se, Steel Wall, but I have known women that do exactly that. Self-destructive behavior if you ask me. Great point. Women have no idea if a man is trying to test them ( but they just assume we are ) or trying to get to know them. So right off the bat there is the negative attitude that doesn't leave and makes us go away. Just something to think about. Actually that kind of thinking is discrimination. If you think badly about men then you shouldn't date them actually. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 The way I see it is that, a guy who is worth opening up to will be willing to get through the walls, or climb over them. Note to self: dating Rinas requires mountaineering equipment. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 The way I see it is that, a guy who is worth opening up to will be willing to get through the walls, or climb over them. I'm sure everyone has there own insecurities, and concerns, communication is key. Not for a guy like me. I'll give up at the first sign of resistance, and assume she's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
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