Is he just slow, naive, or just plain dumb?

[little romantic]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now. We're living together in his room at the apartment he's been at for 4 years now. We were suppose to look for a new apartment for ourselves (I moved in so I could get my deposit back from my apartment to put down on our new place) and just recently I found out he feels too pressured and overwhelmed to look for a new place. It's distracting him from his art career he's trying to get in to. I told him it was fine... asked him if he wanted me to move out. He said no. I have a drawer in his room, the only thing that is mine. I am at a stand still in my life.

 

Not only that I make plans with him.. tonight we were suppose to go to my friends art show opening together. I told him a week and a half ago. I told him again yesterday because he found out he had to work at 8. He told me he would be back from work at 8:30 and we could go together. I doll myself up, it's 8:30... so I wait until 9. He hasn't made it back yet. Since I was already an hour late to the show, I decided to leave him a little note with the address. Mind you this whole event is 4 blocks away from his apartment. And hour later, I decide to leave a little depressed he hasn't come yet or called me. He finally calls me a few minutes later asking me what I am doing. I tell him Im at that art show. He tells me he's at a bar with his friend. I tell him I'm upset and why Im upset. His voice has no concern and he's actually mad at me for being upset. I've been looking forward to this for a while, and wanted to show him something that I thought was cool. I felt stood up and stupid for dressing up. Cried a little bit.

 

Now that I've been thinking about it, he does this to me all the time. He blows me off without calling me. He's not dependable when I ask him to do favors. Like empty the rental car while I was at work so I could return it as fast as possible so I wouldn't get charged an extra day. Or when I ask him to go pick up my brothers tent from the rental car's lost and found (I ended up doing it today). Or the big one which left us broken up for 6 months, he refused to go to my work on new years eve (we have huge after parties too) cause it sounded boring and he never gets to hang out with his friends (which he does all the time, and I dont have a problem with that at all!), even though I told him it would be my first time kissing at midnight and that it was really really important to me. It's starting to be a problem... and I feel like I've talked to him about it before. He really hurts my feelings and he's just not getting it.

 

What should I say to him to make him understand what I need from him?

 

 

To be honest I am wondering if I should be with him. I still love him and find him super attractive. He says he wants to marry me. And I like the idea of marrying him. But these small things are adding up and he doesn't seem to care about them or how I feel.