TheVSilent Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Well, it has been around 2 months and 2 weeks since my ex girlfriend broke up with me and cut all ties. She went NC right after. I was verbally abusive, and I tried to make a mends, but I think she just thought I was running at the mouth because she gave me too many chances so she had to just end all communication with me. Ok, so this hurt really bad, I didn't realize what I had till it was gone, just like the old saying goes. I started going to counceling, to get my mind off of her, to heal. Lately I have been getting strong urges to call her, to text her, or something because I just feel all this guilt, I think of what I put her through and it kills me. I want her to really know that I truely am sorry, that no girl should have ever been treated like that. Chances are she won't answer, and I'm not really sure if she will ever contact me again, I just hate living like this, I thought I was doing good but all these feelings are coming back so hard right now. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 2 months after the end communication is a hard time, but it's also a good time for you to grow as a person. I'd advise against contacting her just yet because you are still upset and don't appear to have figured out what caused you to behave as you did. Now is a good time think about what triggered you. So, wanna tell us some more about what happened between you guys? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Those guilt feelings will come and go. You just have to accept them and forgive yourself for what you did to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVSilent Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 2 months after the end communication is a hard time, but it's also a good time for you to grow as a person. I'd advise against contacting her just yet because you are still upset and don't appear to have figured out what caused you to behave as you did. Now is a good time think about what triggered you. So, wanna tell us some more about what happened between you guys? We were together 5 years. Things were very very good in the beginning, but somewhere along the line I became mean. I was cruel, I would call her names, bash her for no good reason, and made sure she was never around any of my friends. Yes, I know it was bad. What we had before I became a lunatic was strong, she said it herself, but she also said she tried caring and all I did was shover her down. She told me she was done, she couldn't be with someone that acted so crazy, one day I was nice the next I was mean. I realize that I did this because I thought I was trapped, like I was with her and felt like I wanted to explore the world without her but never wanted to end things because we were comfortable. Well, I acted out in a way I never should have, I never wanted to hurt her, I was just a fool and didn't realize the pain it truely caused her. Since going to counceling and telling my tell all story and getting in depth with my emotions I feel like I want to really say SORRY and mean it. I know this may be a lost cause, and my councelor said that I need to forgive myself because it wasn't all my fault, she enabled this to go on so long that I grew numb to the fact that she might leave me one day. I just don't want her to hate me, or have those feelings of hurt and anger. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 You're not the person to help her, and she's not the person to help you. You guys tried that for a long time, and it didn't work. Do what you can now, let go of what wasn't done then. Have you read up on assertiveness at all? Learning to assert yourself more clearly will help you to live a better life. Feeling guilty is natural, and you can use that to drive yourself to do fewer things that will make you feel guilty in the future. If you want her to forgive you, you need to be able to forgive yourself too. That's part of becoming a better person. Becoming less unforgiving makes you less hurt and less hurtful. Link to post Share on other sites
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