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Birthday Woes


TennisGeek

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My friend had been spending the entire week heavily emphasizing that she did not want to celebrate her birthday which was coming up. Another friend then invited us to leave town for that weekend. Since my birthday friend did not make any plans and didn't want to make a big deal of her birthday, I decided to leave town for the weekend. Then on the day of her birthday my friend changed her mind and wanted to celebrated her birthday. I proceeded to tell her that we were invited out of town and it may be fun to celebrate it there as an option, but if she prefered to stay in town then I would do that instead. She then replied to go ahead and leave town for the weekend as I planned and insisted that I do so, to which I obliged. However, the next day she tells me that she was upset that I didn't show up and mutual friends have made snide comments about my not being present. Did I do anything wrong here to receive such backlash?

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frenchtelephones

No not at all! You did nothing wrong. It's her dishonesty that got her hurt. If she hadn't emphasized that her birthday was unimportant and that she wanted you to leave town as planned you would have been there for her, and I think that in truth she knows that. I'd say she's at best too timid to state her real wishes, and at worst a manipulative drama queen.

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